After Shock- Ellie's Chance

by Vikki McCombie

  * * *

  After they’d returned from the cafeteria, Zach fell asleep, so Ellie took the time to phone her insurance agent. The guy was awesome. He promised to go by and look at her vehicle, then arrange to have it towed to her dealership for repairs. Hers wasn’t the only car affected by the hail storm, but he assured her he’d handle her claim first.

  She spent the rest of the afternoon with Zach, but after his evening meal, he insisted she go home. Her insurance agent had a rental car delivered that afternoon, and when he called, he’d told her he had contacted the dealership since the glass shouldn’t have shattered the way it had. There must have been a defect in the windshield. By the time she made it home, all she wanted was a hot bath and bed.

  The doctor released Zach on Saturday. Once she had him settled, she texted Jason, and he’d brought Brian and Kelly over so they could see Zach. The kids talked them into playing their favorite board game, and after a rousing game of Risk, Jason took them home.

  Ellie worried over not going to church the next day, but Jason arranged for Henry to visit Zach the following afternoon. The rest of the weekend, she spent catering to her son and catching up on housekeeping. She’d spoken with her manager and arranged to have the following week off.

  By Wednesday, Zach couldn’t wait to get out of the house. Although she still had the rental car since her vehicle was still in the shop, Jason and his two picked them up. Since Halloween was the next day, the church was having their yearly costume party. The fact that they celebrated that holiday surprised yet pleased her.

  When he arrived, Ellie had to look twice. Jason was dressed as a Viking warrior with shield and all. He’d even sprayed his hair gold. Although his eyes were green and not blue, it didn’t matter. His muscular physique reminded her of Ragnar, a fascinating character from the Viking series she loved so much.

  Ellie had donned a pirate costume she’d picked up the day before. It wasn’t nearly as elaborate as Jason’s. Zach had decided to take advantage of the incision on his neck and had dressed as Frankenstein.

  Once she buckled her seat belt, she turned and smiled at Brian and Kelly. “So, Darth Vader and Hello Miss Kitty, but…” she glanced at Jason, “your dad’s costume has you beat.”

  Jason chuckled, “I don’t know about that, but you make a lovely pirate wench, red scarf and all. However, I think Zach has everyone beat.”

  They arrived at the church and joined their group. The kids had an awesome time bobbing for apples, playing Cornhole and eating tons of cookies and other delicious treats. The adults dispensed with their discussions and joined in on the fun.

  When they returned to her house at the end of the evening, Jason walked her to the door, but with Zach lagging behind them, he only bussed her cheek and squeezed her hand before bidding them a goodnight. She watched as he ran back to his truck and pulled out of her driveway.

  While they’d not had any private moments, his discreet touches and admiring glances were enough. They told her his feelings for her were as strong as hers were for him. He had found a moment and asked her to go out on Saturday night.

  Over the next few weeks, they continued to go out and grew much closer. They’d attended several gatherings at Linda and Russ’s, along with the rest of their friends, together. Ellie enjoyed seeing Lynda, and they were becoming close friends.

  The next day, she’d learn whether she could be a donor for her sister. As it now stood, it was being handled anonymously, although recently, she wasn’t sure if that was the right way to do it. When she’d initiated the testing, she’d wanted to remain anonymous, but now that God played a key role in her life, she’d felt something nudging her to contact her sister directly.

  She was having lunch with Lynda at one. She’d decided to confide in her. She arrived at the restaurant and took a seat in one of the booths by the windows. Lynda entered and waved to her. Then she made her way over and slipped into the other side of the booth.

  “Hi. Sorry I ran a few minutes late. Have you ordered yet?” she asked as she smoothed her short pixie hair style in place. “The wind is rather strong today. It’s turned a lot colder too.”

  Ellie reached for her glass of ice water, and after she took a sip, she placed it on the napkin. “Not yet, but I’m having the Caesar chicken salad, my usual. Here comes our server now.”

  Once they’d given the young woman their orders, Lynda placed her hands on the table. “Okay. What’s going on? You look troubled by something, and I haven’t seen you this way for a while.”

  Ellie took another sip of water, hoping to gather her scattered thoughts. “You’re right. I have a dilemma—a moral one.” She picked at her thumbnail, a habit she’d tried to break since childhood. She looked at her friend. She trusted her to tell the unvarnished truth without judging her.

  Lynda reached across the table and gently touched her hand. “You can tell me anything. What’s bothering you?”

  Where to start? Then taking a deep breath, she started at the beginning. She told her about Lucas, and his abuse. She talked of the strained relationship she’d had with her sister. To the point of estrangement. Lynda’s eyes were filled with compassion and understanding.

  The server returned with their entrees then left them alone again. Lynda laid her napkin across her lap. “Now. Tell me the rest. I sense there’s a lot more.”

  Ellie bolstered her courage. “I worked in one of the towers at the World Trade Center.” She paused, waiting for the usual gasp and platitudes most people murmured, or the outright blatant curiosity where they asked uncomfortable questions. No, Lynda wouldn’t react like that.

  “Clearly you either weren’t in them when they came down or escaped.” She’d not been wrong. Her friend went straight to the heart of it. “I’m sure you lost friends that day. However, I don’t believe that’s what’s causing your turmoil. Am I right?”

  Ellie blinked several times. It was becoming difficult to speak. Her throat had closed up. She nodded, then after swallowing the lump in her throat, she told her the rest. What had happened the night before 9/11, and how it led to her fleeing New York. How she didn’t tell her sister she’d survived, not even after Lucas had died. “So, you see, now that I’ve formed a relationship with God, I feel I should contact Connie directly and tell her I’m alive. To apologize for letting her believe I’d perished that day.”

  “When did you say you’ll find out whether you’re a match?” Her voice as calm and controlled as she had grown to expect, and it was filled with concern for her.

  Ellie dropped her fork in her barely touched salad. “Tomorrow. It’s set up for me to remain anonymous right now, but I could change my mind about that. But Lynda, what should I do about Jason? I’m petrified to tell him. What if he hates me?” She wiped the corner of her eye with her napkin.

  Lynda settled against the cushioned back of their booth. “You do realize he’s in love with you, right?”

  Ellie nodded. “He’s never said it, but his actions tell me so, and I desperately love him. I don’t know if I could go on if he doesn’t want to see me anymore.” She swallowed and met Lynda’s kind gaze. She straightened. “My fears aren’t what matter though. I have to do the right thing. To do what God is leading me to do.”

  “And what is that, Ellie?” Lynda asked. She could sense what Lynda hoped she would say.

  “I must tell Connie the truth, and I have to tell Jason everything.” She swiped away the lone tear rolling down her cheek. “If he breaks it off, then so be it. At least I won’t have to carry this burden around with me any longer. Whether I’ve realized it or not, this has been hanging over my head since 9/11. I also need to tell Zach about Connie. He deserves to know as well.”

  “While this may well be the hardest thing you’ve done in your life, you’ve made the right decision. God is in His heaven smiling upon you. He will be with you and help you find the words.” Her loving, tranquil smile soothed Ellie. “Would you like to pray together?”

  “Oh, yes, plea
se.” They clasped hands.

  Lynda bowed her head. “Dear Father, be with Ellie in the coming days as she tells her loved ones everything that’s been heavy on her heart for so long. Help her find the right words. Keep her strong and guide her as she does Your will. In Your Son’s blessed name. Amen.”

  Ellie experienced a presence beside her as she added her own prayer. “Thank you, God for showing me Your love. For bringing these dear friends into my life who have led me to You. I was so lost and never even knew it. Help me repair my relationship with my sister. I destroyed that when I ran after 9/11. Heal the hurt feelings my words may cause my loved ones. Show me how to do this in the least hurtful manner. Through Jesus’s name. Amen.”

  A peace stronger and greater than she’d experienced before swept through her. No matter what happened, she would come out of it a better and much stronger person with new purpose and integrity.

  Lynda squeezed her fingers before letting go. “I’m here for you. Please call me anytime, even if it’s the middle of the night. I love you, Ellie. With God beside you, you’ll make it through this. I promise.”

  “I know I will.” She drew in a steadying breath. “I’ll start with Zach tonight. Then I’ll ask Jason to meet me tomorrow after work, and I’ll tell him then. By that time, I’ll know whether I’m a match for Connie. Thanks for your friendship and your love. It means the world to me.”

  After paying for their meals, they hugged each other, then went to their vehicles. As Ellie drove home, she turned to a radio channel she’d recently found, and listened to the spiritual songs it played. The words held new meaning and bolstered her courage. With God beside her, his strength would see her through.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  When Ellie arrived at her house, she set about preparing Zach’s favorite meal. Once she had the sauce in her new pressure cooker, she browned the meatballs, Italian sausage, and hamburger, going light on the onions and heavy on the mushrooms. He loved them as much as she did. Once the meats had browned, she added it to the pot and set the timer.

  After tossing together a salad of spinach and field greens, then adding red onions, cucumbers and grape tomatoes, she took a seat at the table and opened Facebook on her laptop. She found the link to her sister’s GoFundMe account and was surprised at the amount of money the fund had raised toward Connie’s kidney transplant surgery since she’d checked a few days ago. She must have a different circle of friends than she used to have. Those old friends of hers had been what her grandmother called fair weather, meaning only in good times.

  Her phone vibrated, letting her know she had a text. As she read, her belly churned. It was the center, confirming her appointment the next day. She prayed she was a match. Nothing meant more to her. She wanted to do this for Connie. She owed it to her sister.

  The front door opened, and she heard Zach toss his backpack on the stairs, to be carried up later. He whistled as he came into the kitchen area. Awesome, he’s in a good mood. Hopefully that would help their upcoming conversation. “Hey, Mom. What smells so good? Is it your lasagna or your spaghetti and meatballs?”

  She grinned. “Your favorite meal, of course. I’m also baking pumpkin dump cake, a new recipe I found on Pinterest. It’s in the oven.”

  “What’s the occasion? Did I forget my birthday or something?” He guffawed, knowing full well his birthday was in April and hers was in August.

  “Ha, ha, funny.” She placed Italian bread liberally covered with garlic butter on a cookie sheet and set it on top of the stove. “Nothing special, just wanted Italian tonight. How’d school go? Weren’t you supposed to get that test back you’ve been worrying over?”

  “Oh, yeah. Got it and aced it.” He stuck out his hand for a high five. “All that worry for nothing.” He cracked his knuckles one by one, and she pretended she didn’t hear. “Coach talked to me today. There’s going to be a recruiter from ODU at the game next week. This one’s in Gloucester, by the way. In case you forgot.”

  She pointed to the paper stuck on the side of the fridge held there with one of her magnets. “I have it circled. Since it’s not until three that afternoon, I’ll be able to come. I told my assistant manager I’ll be leaving early.”

  “That’s lit.” He opened the slow cooker and sniffed. “The sauce smells ready. Hey, can Brian hang this weekend? Mr. Henderson has duty and Kelly’s spending Friday and Saturday with one of her friends.”

  Hearing Jason’s name had her tummy rolling again. After she told Jason about Connie, would he still want Brian to come over? How would he act toward Zach, once he knew she’d made such a wretched decision? Could telling him affect Zach and Brian’s friendship? How would it be to see him at church, to go to lunch with their friends, if they were no longer seeing each other? Lots of questions. As the ramifications of telling him set in, her chest tensed, and her breathing grew shallow.

  No. I will not have a panic attack.

  Help me, Lord.

  No sooner than she’d uttered the silent prayer, the tenseness eased. God was with her. She just needed to let him guide her. She went to the fridge and grabbed the salad bowl and dressing then set both on the table.

  Zach knocked on the counter. “Hey, Mom? Did you hear me?”

  Oh, Lord, I never answered him. “Of course. He’s always welcome. I forgot Jason has duty this weekend. Come, let’s eat our salad. The pasta will be ready by the time we finish.”

  After she dished up a generous portion for each of them, Zach dug in. There would be very little talking until the meal ended. The spaghetti and meatballs had turned out even better than usual. It was probably the extra mushrooms.

  Once the dishes were rinsed and loaded in the dishwasher, she scooped some of the pumpkin dump cake on two plates and topped it with vanilla ice cream. “Wow, Mom that looks fam. Can’t wait to taste it.”

  In a matter of minutes, Zach had finished off his dessert and the rest of what she hadn’t eaten. He leaned against his chair, tipping it on the back two legs. She’d asked him not to do that, but she let it pass this time, not wanting to antagonize him before their conversation.

  “That tasted fantastic. Hey, you’ll have to bring that to Wednesday night supper. Everybody’ll love it.” He let all four legs return to the floor and groaned. “I have tons of homework, so I’ll be in my room.”

  She clasped her hands together on the table to keep them from shaking, lest he notice. “Zach. Can you sit for a moment before you go upstairs? I’ve decided to tell you everything that happened in the days after 9/11.”

  He frowned. “You said you moved here to get away from my father. At least that’s what you told me a couple of months ago. What else happened?”

  “Yes, that was the reason, but it’s a bit more involved.” She drew in a breath, then told him how she’d assumed her friend’s identity when Amy had lost her life on that fateful day.

  His eyes widened. “You’re telling me, your name’s not your own? That mine isn’t real?” His tone escalated and panic flashed across his face.

  “No, no. I switched to my real name a few weeks after I moved here.” She picked her thumbnail as she added, “That’s not all. Please listen to the rest and wait to ask your questions.”

  Then she proceeded to tell him the most critical part, the piece she most feared his reaction. She inhaled, hoping to calm her heart and pulse, which were racing. “When I made the decision to leave…I also made another one.” Her voice wavered. “I have a sister. I didn’t tell her I’d survived—”

  Zach opened his mouth, but she held up her hand. “Remember no questions until I finish. There’s more, please,” she pleaded. Zach folded his hands across his chest and glowered but didn’t speak. She inhaled. “You have an aunt in Brooklyn. I’ve learned Connie needs a kidney transplant. I’ve been tested to see if I can be her donor, and I’ll find out tomorrow if I’m a match.” The cold, almost lethal expression on Zach’s face, had her stomach twisting in knots yet again.

  He stared at her, not b
linking. Would he start ranting now? She waited for him to say something, anything, but instead he kept staring at her. “Zach. Please understand. We were never close as adults. She was five years older—”

  “Stop, just stop talking.” His fists were clenched so tight his knuckles had turned white. He shook his head, then continued, “Do I know you at all? You turned your back on your only living family? Nothing you can say will make that right, Mom.” He continued giving her that frigid, stony stare.

  “Please understand.” Tears threatened, but she dashed them away. “So many things changed in a twenty-four-hour period. I learned I was pregnant. Then my boyfriend shook me until my teeth rattled, leaving me with bruises on my arms and a swollen wrist. It took days for them to fade.”

  He stood with so much force, his chair fell. “You weren’t the first woman to get pregnant, Mom.” His voice dripped with disdain.

  His cold tone split her heart in two. She had to make him see she’d believed she’d no choice. “Please understand. I was barely nineteen, and Lucas had scared me to death. The following day I lost my best friend and my job. My only sister was an alcoholic. Connie could have gone into a drunken rage and called your father.” She could no longer stop the tears. “She could have told him about you.”

  “Why didn’t you contact her after Lucas died? You could have then. Why didn’t you?”

  He stalked around the table and loomed over her, something he’d never done before. A frisson of fear raced through her. Please, please, God help me. He stepped back and jammed his hands into his jeans pockets.

  She pressed her hands against her chest, hoping to stave off the full-blown panic attack threatening her. “After I left Lucas,” she breathed in to stave it off. “I swore…” Her voice shook, but she would not give in to the panic coursing through her. She took another breath, then rushing her words, she said, “I’d never allow anyone around you who drank or used drugs.”

  Her emotions took over, blocking her fear enough for her to finish. “It had already been well over two years. Why try to reconnect with her when I couldn’t trust her? What if she’d come here drunk? She could have hurt you. I wouldn’t take that chance.”