Fabio vs. the Friend Zone (The Pen Pal Romance Series)

by Kelsie Stelting

  Grace: It is. You should hear her say knickers.

  Fabio: Please tell me you’re going to record this.

  Grace: For you? Of course.

  Fabio: :) Knew I could count on you.

  I started to type back a message, but Fabio’s next text came up first.

  Fabio: Grace, can I ask you something?

  My stomach dropped. This was it. I knew I couldn’t run away from what he’d told me forever, but I’d wanted to prolong it as long as possible. Trying the whole more-than-friends thing would ruin everything. But how would he react if I said no? He’d never dated anyone before. I had nothing to base this on.

  So I hedged.

  Grace: Didn’t you just ask me a question?

  Fabio: Seriously.

  Grace: Sure. What is it?

  Fabio: Why didn’t you say anything back in the airport when I told you how I feel?

  Nine

  Fabio

  As soon as I sent the text, I threw my phone across the room.

  What. The. Crap.

  Asking that question was just like attacking Fluffy, the friendly neighborhood mutant naked mole rat on Fallout New Vegas. Yeah, it could lead to infamy, but usually you just ended up dead.

  I’d poked the beast. The beast being this tenuous, fake calm Grace and I had going on.

  But I had to know. Before we buried my confession and never talked about it again.

  Grace wasn’t just some girl I hung out with. She was...more. She encouraged me to create games. She helped me pass civics. She made the cutest faces when we watched scary movies. I couldn’t imagine living a life where some other guy got to see those faces.

  I’d rather lose my best friend than miss out on a chance with my soulmate.

  But all of that felt like a load of crap right now as I stood in one corner of my room, staring at my phone like it was a hand grenade with the pin pulled.

  It vibrated, and I flinched.

  Time to face the aftermath.

  Grace: You caught me by surprise.

  One of Gretchen’s favorite phrases came to mind. No shit, Sherlock.

  I was surprised too. Did she think I meant to spill my lifelong love for her in front of a TSA agent?

  But here we were.

  Now, the bigger problem. What did I say to that?

  Annnd, now I was sweating again. Great.

  Even though my thumbs were the Arnold Schwarzenegger of opposable digits, they shook as I typed out my next message.

  Fabio: Are you still surprised?

  I took in a deep breath, practically panting. I needed to run more often. Okay, I never ran. I needed to start running.

  A text bubble with three dots popped up. Then disappeared. Then appeared again. For five minutes, I watched that maddening ellipsis. Finally, finally, her message appeared.

  Grace: I don’t know.

  Her answer was equally as maddening.

  Fabio: You’re killing me, Smalls.

  Grace: I guess I just need more time to think about it?

  Fabio: How long?

  Grace: How long have you been thinking about it?

  Fabio: Since sixth grade, but I hope it doesn’t take you five years to make up your mind.

  Grace: Since sixth grade?

  Fabio: Yes.

  So there I was, bare, exposed, more naked than Fluffy, with no computer-generated villagers to protect me. But if Grace was still the same girl who gave me those Hello Kitty Kleenexes, I could trust her with the deepest parts of me.

  Grace: Why do you like me?

  Fabio: Why wouldn’t I like you?

  Grace: Seriously. Why?

  It struck me how ridiculous it was that this conversation was happening over text message. Grace was my best friend, not some internet date. If I hadn’t been the world’s biggest idiot, I could have told her at my house. I could have held her hands, looked her in the eyes, and listed every single way she was perfect. There were plenty. But now, this was I all I had. At least she couldn’t see the sweat stains on my underarms.

  Maybe I could take a leaf out of our roleplaying days and show her that way?

  Fabio: *takes your hand* Grace, I think you’re amazing. Remember when we were younger and those people were making fun of me when I wore my Pokémon shoes?

  Grace: *nods* The light-up ones?

  Fabio: Yes. And after they took of my shoes and threw them down the hallway, you grabbed them and fought for me.

  Grace: *laughs* They lit up as I beat them up.

  Fabio: Yeah. Well, in retrospect, light up shoes weren’t the greatest choice for the first day of freshman year. *shakes head and then looks you in the eyes* You’ve always had the best heart. You look out for everyone else. You’re fun. You’re smart. I feel like I can be myself around you. That’s why I like you.

  Grace: *sighs* Fabio, don’t you think it might just be because I’m the only girl you spend time with? Maybe you’ll meet other girls in college...

  Ouch. It wasn’t like I couldn’t get girls... Well, okay, maybe that was true, but it didn’t matter. I knew I liked Grace.

  Fabio: I don’t want to meet other girls in college. I like you. *runs my thumb over the back of your hand* It’s always been you. Tell me you feel the same way.

  Text bubbles popped up and disappeared.

  My throat got tight. Here I was on the edge of a cliff. Was Grace going to pull me back or send me over the edge?

  Fabio: Please, tell me you feel the same way.

  The bubbles appeared on the screen for so long, she must have been writing a novel. I hoped it would be a romance and not a tragedy.

  Grace: Fabio, you’re my best friend, my favorite guy to be around. I can tell you all my secrets, and I know they’ll be safe. I wouldn’t risk that for anything.

  She was worried. That made sense because I’d probably given myself an ulcer since prom night, when I chickened out on telling her the first time.

  Fabio: You don’t have to worry about that. Your friendship means the world to me. I’d never let that go, even if it didn’t work out.

  But honestly, Grace was it for me. If we started dating, if we kissed, I knew she would be my last. I didn’t tell her that though. The thought scared even me.

  Grace: I don’t know. I feel like dating would just invite trouble.

  Fabio: It wouldn’t. I promise. Dating would just make our friendship even better.

  How could I get her to understand that it would be the same, but better? We just wouldn’t be dating anyone else. And some kissing would be nice.

  I imagined pressing my lips to hers, those cute lips that curved out, almost like an adorable parrot beak.

  God, I was glad she hadn’t heard me think that. Something told me girls didn’t like being compared to tropical birds.

  But really. She was cute. I’d give up my video game thumbs just to kiss those lips.

  Grace: I just don’t think it would work.

  My gut sank, and I felt like puking. How could she pierce my heart so thoroughly from halfway around the world?

  Fabio: Why do you say that?

  Grace: You have such an amazing imagination, and you’re going to create games that give people a great escape, but I think that’s where your head is right now. You’re always in the clouds - those wonderful, creative clouds you wander off to. I think you just like the idea of us falling in love, but it’s not real. You’re my best friend in the world, and I don’t know what I would do without you. Please don’t let this ruin our friendship.

  Devastation. That was the only word for this. Pure and utter, gut-wrenching devastation. I’d tried all my moves and didn’t have any lives left. No way to restart the game console and try again.

  Grace: I’m sorry, I have to go. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.

  I fell back on my bed and threw my arm over my eyes. My eyes got hot, and I pressed my forearm even harder into my face.

  Was that really how Grace saw me? Some guy with his head in the clouds? Who didn’t bel
ieve in reality?

  She would be coming home in one week, and I needed to show her that games were real. That my imagination wasn’t a bad thing.

  There was only one place in the world that showed just how real games could be.

  And I was taking her there.

  Ten

  Grace

  I laid back in my bed and covered my face with my pillow. I didn’t have to go anywhere, but I couldn’t keep disappointing my best friend.

  I’d made it three weeks without facing the inevitable, and I felt worse than ever before. Now, I wouldn’t just be breaking his heart—I’d be changing our plans, letting him down. Doing both at once seemed wrong.

  My flight home was still a week away, but I was lost. How could I tell him that instead of going to college and getting an apartment with him, I’d be staying in China for an entire year, teaching? Fabio would be in Canyon, Texas, five hours from Oklahoma City, alone.

  But I couldn’t pass up this opportunity. I’d be teaching children English at a new school. My parents were prouder than they’d ever been. Plus, I couldn’t buy experience like this, and I was starting to love it here. Somehow, I felt more myself in China.

  In the U.S., staying true to my Chinese heritage felt taboo or obligatory. Here, being Chinese just seemed normal. Because it was. But it was also fresh and exciting, and I learned something new every day. How could I give that up?

  Fabio would be better without me around at college. He’d be able to make new friends, meet girls—be his own person without his childhood friend hanging around all the time.

  At least, that was what I told myself.

  Before I fell asleep for the night, I prayed Fabio and I would still be friends through it all, miles or oceans apart.

  “Prepare for landing,” the pilot said through the speaker system.

  I gripped my arm rests, took in a deep breath, and felt the tires caress the tarmac in Oklahoma City. I couldn’t believe in only a few minutes I would be back in my hometown, surrounded by people who spoke English and reunited with my best friend.

  Even though we hadn’t talked, Fabio had volunteered to pick me up from the airport, and since Dad was working and Mom didn’t like driving, they were more than happy to let him. I couldn’t tell them I didn’t want him to come without damaging things between us even further.

  Last time we were at this airport, Fabio told me he loved me...and I ran away. Literally. Now, my stomach swirled with anticipation. Why had he offered to drive me? Would he be happy to see me? What about after I told him I wouldn’t be going to college with him, like we’d been planning since freshman year?

  As the rush to grab bags from the overhead storage began, I sent Fabio a text.

  Grace: Just landed. See you at arrivals.

  Almost immediately, I got a message back.

  Fabio: I’m here. And I brought Twix. :)

  My chest automatically loosened. A peace offering.

  I sent him a bunch of grinning cat emojis, then put my phone in my purse.

  Once my row was clear, I stepped out from the window seat and stood on my tiptoes to get my bag. As I filed down the row, past the flight attendants, and onto the ramp, my nerves grew.

  This was Fabio. The same guy who held my hand under the armrest during Saw III because I was terrified and didn’t want my other friends to know.

  Maybe I had been sending mixed signals.

  I took in a deep breath and stepped out of the tunnel and toward the baggage claim. I would have watched the conveyor belt spin forever if it meant avoiding this moment, but my bag plopped out, just like the rest.

  Gripping the handle so tightly I felt my nails against my palm, I walked to the exit where I knew Fabio would be waiting.

  I saw him before he saw me—standing against the wall as all the cars drove by. His eyes were on a couple reuniting. The guy spun a girl around in his arms, and she cried into his shoulder.

  But my eyes went back to Fabio—his hair that curled at the ends, his rounded lips, his skin so white it almost looked porcelain. In that moment, it didn’t matter how we’d left things. I just wanted to close this space between us, to see my best friend again.

  “Fabio!” I yelled.

  He turned, and his face went from midnight to dawn in half a millisecond. Just a smile from him settled all the chaos going on in my mind. This was my best friend. I let go of my bag and ran to hug him. I wrapped my arms around his middle and squeezed.

  Fabio held me to his chest. “I missed you so much.”

  A month had been too long. I needed him. How would I handle a year?

  I shoved that thought down and held on tighter. “I missed you.”

  We stood like that for a moment, just hugging, making up for missed time, and then he let go and grabbed my bag. “Come on,” he said. “It’s way too hot out here for this.”

  I wiped at the thin layer of sweat on my forehead and followed him. “Did you get your AC fixed?”

  He shook his head. “I got one better.”

  “A new car?”

  “No. I got the Grandpa-mobile.”

  I laughed. His grandparents did ride in style. Not young, hip style, but grandparent style—leather seats, moth balls, and all. Their Lincoln was so much nicer than Fabio’s car that he’d had to pay for himself. I admired that about him, how hard he worked for want he wanted.

  Fabio rolled my bag down the sidewalk, leading me out to the parking lot. The whole way, he asked questions about China—what the food was like, how much Mandarin I’d learned, and funny kid stories. It was almost like this awkwardness between us had never happened.

  I didn’t stop talking until we were on I-35, but he’d gone south not north.

  “Hey,” I said, “you took the wrong exit.”

  He grinned over at me. “I know.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “Clue me in.”

  His grin got even wider. “Remember how you said my head was in the clouds?”

  Slowly, I nodded.

  “Well, it’s time for liftoff.”

  Eleven

  Fabio

  Grace looked so freaking cute when she scrunched her eyebrows like that.

  Oh, who was I kidding? She looked cute all the time. Even now, after traveling for more than twenty-four hours straight, Grace stunned me into heart-throbbing awe.

  “What does ‘liftoff’ mean?” she asked.

  I looked over my shoulder and switched lanes before replying, “You said my head’s always in the clouds, with games and everything, so I wanted to show you that they’re real.” I put my hand out, and, begrudgingly, she took it. “I want you to take this weekend and just think about it. Think about us.”

  “Fabio, I—”

  I shook my head. “If this weekend sucks and you think I’m crazy, then I’ll drop it, and we’ll never talk about it again. But I need this.”

  Her lips pressed into a thin line and she nodded, looking tired. “Fine.”

  Okay, that wasn’t what I was going for, but it was a chance. That’s all I wanted. A chance to show my friend how much I loved her.

  “What about my parents?” she asked.

  “Give me some credit,” I said. “I wouldn’t just kidnap you, considering, you know...ninjas.”

  She shoved my arm. “Not all Chinese people are ninjas!”

  “Don’t hit the driver!” I said. “And maybe not all Chinese people are ninjas, but all ninjas are Chinese. Coincidence? I think not.”

  Grace rolled her eyes.

  “But really, I called them. They said have fun and they’ll see you Monday.”

  Her eyes drooped as she nodded and sat back into her seat.

  “You look exhausted,” I said. “Do you want to take a nap?”

  “No, I need to get used to U.S. time again.” But she grabbed Grandma’s throw blanket from the backseat. “Where are we going anyway?”

  “VGC in Dallas,” I said. “It’s like a popup Disneyland for gamers.”

  For a while, she
stayed quiet.

  The quiet seemed so loud. Did she have a million thoughts rattling around her head? Because I did. I hadn’t planned to bank my entire future with my soulmate on one weekend, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Desperate guys called for desperate measures. This girl sitting next to me with raven hair cascading over her shoulder—she was worth risking everything for.

  She’d lost some weight in China, but I didn’t like it better or worse. I liked her full cheeks, her curvy frame. But I liked this look too, the extra shadows on her cheeks. Every part of her was amazing. I was lucky as hell just to sit this close to her. I knew that.

  But we’d been apart for a month. Thirty days. Why weren’t we talking?

  Oh! I hadn’t given her my gift yet.

  “Hey,” I said, “look behind your seat, will ya?”

  She lifted her cheeks and narrowed her eyes. Cute as all get out. But she maneuvered back. As her hand closed on the giftbag, her eyes widened. “What’s this?” She pulled it to the front seat.

  “A little welcome home gift.” I smiled. “Open it.”

  I watched out of the corner of my eye as she pulled back the tissue paper. “Twix? And a pound of green gummy bears?”

  “Don’t ask me how many bags it took to find a pound of green ones.” Okay, I’d just ordered them online, but she didn’t need to know that.

  She hugged it to her chest, closing her eyes. I kid you not, my heart sighed. I wanted to see her that happy every single day.

  For a little while, the only sound was Grace crunching Twix candy bars and crinkling up the wrappers. She always rolled them in a little ball, even though they just sprung back out after she let them go.

  Traffic thinned as we made it out of Oklahoma City and the little surrounding towns. I loved driving Grandma’s car with the AC blasting and sun pouring in through the windows. Usually I would’ve been rocking out to Bryce Vine or the Gorillaz, but Grace preferred worship music. We compromised with radio silence.

  But time was ticking down. I could practically see the minutes slipping by. I had two days to show Grace we belonged together before losing my chance forever. I couldn’t waste my time not talking.