Drake dropped into the chair and let the hospital noises outside the room and Chase’s sobs wash over him. Chase didn’t want to talk. He didn’t want to listen. He wanted to wallow. So Drake let him. But he wouldn’t leave him alone. Not in his condition. Drake feared what he might do given a chance and too much time alone.
So Drake settled in for the night, because Chase’s brothers wouldn’t be here for hours still. He wouldn’t leave a fallen soldier behind.
He wouldn’t let him face the nightmares in the dark alone.
But his heart was also with Adria.
Everything in him wanted to go to her. He wanted to comfort her.
He wanted to know how this happened.
And that it wasn’t the end of them.
He pulled out his phone, pulled up his texts, and thought about what he wanted to say, though nothing would take away her grief.
DRAKE: I’m so sorry about Juliana
DRAKE: I’m sorry for what I said
DRAKE: I’m with Chase. He’s in a bad place.
DRAKE: If you need me, I’ll come to you
DRAKE: Where are you
DRAKE: I miss you
DRAKE: I’m thinking about you
Chase fell into a fitful sleep.
Drake’s phone remained silent. When he woke up stiff and aching sitting in the chair in the early morning, she hadn’t responded.
Her silence killed him.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Adria had let Roxy and Sonya walk her back down the hall to where Juliana lay, silent, still, and gone. It broke her heart all over again. She didn’t know how she managed to take the emotionally jarring hit and slap of reality. Her mind denied what she saw, but the agonizing pain in her heart made it all too real.
“What happened?” Roxy wiped away tears, but they just kept coming.
Adria tried to catch her breath. “I . . . I don’t know.” She didn’t believe what seemed so obvious.
“You said she’d turned a corner.” Sonya hugged her to her side.
“She did. This makes no sense.”
“You didn’t see any signs?” Roxy’s question set her off. It reminded her too much of what Drake said to her.
“This isn’t my fault! If I thought she was using, or going to, I’d have done something about it.” She stepped away from Sonya and brushed her hand over Juliana’s soft hair. “You gave me the papers for the art schools. You were happy and excited about going. Why? Why would you do this?”
Juliana had no more answers. Her dreams of art school and using this second chance at life to find happiness vanished with her last breath.
Adria could ask all the questions, but none of them mattered now. Juliana was gone. Adria couldn’t bring her back no matter how hard she prayed for this to all be some bad dream.
She had to live without Juliana.
She didn’t know if she could do that.
Because nothing mattered right now. Not even the text messages coming in on her phone. She knew Drake wanted to talk, but she had nothing left. No words. No thoughts other than she missed her sister with every cell of her being. So much so that she felt like her soul had torn in two and a part of her was missing.
The eerie absence of her twin deep inside her stunned her.
They’d had that connection. Adria had felt Juliana her whole life.
And now it was gone.
She didn’t know if she could live like this, feeling this empty.
Roxy, Noah, Sonya, and Austin helped her make the final decisions for Juliana before they left the hospital. Adria didn’t remember how she ended up in Noah’s truck or at their house, tucked into a bed that felt cold and lonely in a house that was unfamiliar and a world that felt empty.
She didn’t remember sleeping. One minute she’d been in the dark and then the light came but nothing had changed.
She wanted to scream. She wanted to rage. But she couldn’t manage to do anything but mechanically move from one minute to the next.
“Adria, Trinity called. She wanted you to know that Chase is doing well this morning. His brothers arrived. They’re taking him home. The shop is covered. Sonya will help Trinity for as long as you need her there.” Roxy’s voice barely penetrated her mind as she sat at the dining room table, a cup of coffee in front of her, a plate of untouched eggs and pancakes.
She didn’t remember coming downstairs.
She vaguely recalled crying her eyes out in the shower.
Roxy touched her arm. “Mike is missing. The police are looking for him. They want to question him about what happened.”
That should matter to her. Mike was her employee. He was there when Juliana died. But she just couldn’t seem to care.
“Drake is worried about you. Trinity let him know you’re here with us, but he’s going crazy wanting to talk to you.”
She didn’t want to talk to anyone. She wanted to get away. Escape the thoughts in her head and the pain eating her alive from the inside out.
“Do you want to talk about what happened at the shop?”
Juliana lying on the floor . . . Chase passing out . . . The fear that she was too late, that the naloxone wouldn’t work . . . She stood and stared at Roxy. “Can I take one of the horses?”
“Let’s ride.” Roxy glanced down. “You’ll need your shoes.”
Adria looked down at her bare toes sticking out of the jeans she’d worn yesterday to work.
Yesterday. It seemed like a lifetime ago.
“We’ll go by your place and get you some clothes later today when you feel like it. Or I can send Noah. You can stay here as long as you want.”
She didn’t feel like doing anything but getting on a horse and riding away, but the practical part of her brain kicked in for a moment. “I need to pack up Juliana’s stuff at the cabin. We’ll need to clean out the house back at Wild Rose.” She thought about the three-bedroom cottage they grew up in and how they’d all left that place. Well, Juliana planned to go back there once she had her bearings and until she decided on an art school. She’d liked working at the shop, but that was just for now. Not forever. They wanted to take a few weeks, reconnect, make sure Juliana had a plan and the support she needed.
But none of that mattered now.
Forever ended when Juliana took her last breath and her beautiful heart stopped.
“That’s not home anymore, is it?”
Roxy stood and hugged her. “Home is with us. Sonya and I are still here. We love you. We are and will always be your sisters.”
“I can’t go back to Wild Rose and see the life we had there. I can’t go back to Trinity’s because Juliana’s there, too. I can’t stay here. I don’t know where to go. I don’t know what to do.”
“You don’t have to do anything right now, except put your shoes on and ride.”
“The horses are waiting outside,” Noah said from the doorway.
Of course Roxy had him saddle them. She knew Adria liked a nice long ride to clear her head when things got tough. She shared that with Roxy.
And right now, Adria clung to the fact that someone still knew her enough to know what she needed.
She met Roxy out front with her shoes on and her head still fogged with grief. Noah kissed her on the head before she mounted the beautiful Appaloosa he held for her.
Roxy didn’t say anything, just kicked her mount and off they went, leaving the ranch behind and riding out into the vast land, losing themselves in the quiet, the wind, the pounding of the horses’ hooves, and the big blue sky.
She didn’t have to think about Juliana. About Drake. About anything as she tried to outrun the pain.
Chapter Thirty-Three
After his shower, Drake dragged his haggard ass down the stairs to the kitchen for some much-needed coffee. Before he pulled the carafe out, he checked his phone again. Nothing from Adria.
His heart sank and throbbed with the pain that would only go away when he got Adria back.
He left Chase early this morning aft
er his brothers arrived to take him home. Chase didn’t want to go, but he needed to go home and face what happened.
Drake tried to get him to talk about it. He’d asked him half a dozen times if he wanted to go back to rehab. Nothing. Not one word out of Chase. He just sat there staring into space. The doctor even sent in a psychiatrist to evaluate him. He didn’t know what Chase said, but it was enough for the doctors to release him once the cops talked to him.
Drake wished they’d let him sit in on the interview. He wanted to hear the details from Chase, but he’d been kicked out of the room for that as well.
He poured himself a mug and took a sip, thinking about what to do next. His first priority was to drive over to Roxy and Noah’s place and see Adria. He didn’t like the silence between them. Maybe she didn’t want to talk right now, but he had to see for himself that she was okay.
The front door slammed ten seconds before Trinity walked into the kitchen. “We need to talk.”
“I thought you went to the shop to open it.”
“Sonya is there with Declan and Tate.”
“Why are the guys working there today?”
“Because Mike is missing and I needed to come here and tell you what really happened last night.” She slipped her bag off her shoulder, set it on the counter, and pulled out her laptop. “What you said to Adria last night, it was completely out of line and unfair.” It took a lot to piss off his sweet, easygoing sister, but she was riled this morning.
He agreed with what she said, but she needed to remember a lot of shit happened last night. “Tell that to Chase. He nearly died last night because—”
“Adria saved him! She sacrificed trying to save her sister to save his life!”
Drake’s hands shook with the burst of adrenaline. Coffee sloshed over the rim of the mug and burned his skin but he barely felt it. He dropped the mug on the counter, spilling more, and stared at Trinity. “How do you know that?”
“Because I gave the evidence to the police last night.”
It hit him all at once. “The cameras recorded what happened.”
Trinity opened her laptop. It came to life with the video paused on the screen showing the main room of the shop with Juliana and Mike sitting on the sofa in the reading corner.
“Chase didn’t take any drugs. Neither did Juliana. At least, neither of them meant to.”
He pinned Trinity in his sharp gaze. “What does that mean?”
“Watch.” Trinity hit Enter and played the recording.
Juliana sat on the sofa, her purse next to her, a notebook open on her lap, and a pencil in her hand as she sketched something. She and Mike conversed. Everything looked normal.
“I wish there was sound.”
Trinity frowned. “You don’t need to hear anything to understand what comes next.”
Mike pulled something out of his front pocket. He said something to Juliana. She shook her head. Mike spoke again. Juliana shook her head again and said something back. She tucked her notepad back in her purse with her back to Mike, who tapped out something onto the back of his hand.
“He didn’t just—”
“Watch,” Trinity snapped.
Juliana pulled the strap of her bag up her arm and scooted forward on the couch, but before she stood up, Mike took her shoulder and turned her toward him. He said something that looked suspiciously like, “You know you want it,” if Drake read his lips right, then shoved his hand into Juliana’s face.
“Holy shit.”
Juliana instinctively licked her lips and brushed at her face.
“The police believe she inhaled and ingested the drugs. The concentration of Fentanyl had already caused six deaths in the surrounding community. It only took a few minutes to . . .” Trinity choked up and couldn’t finish that sentence.
Drake couldn’t take his eyes from the screen. Juliana shoved Mike away and stood up. With her back to the camera, he could only guess at the tirade she unleashed on him for doing something so vicious and underhanded when he knew she’d just gotten out of rehab and wanted to change her life.
Mike stood up and got in Juliana’s face.
“If you read his lips, it’s clear she threatened to call the cops on him.”
Juliana suddenly grabbed her chest.
“She can’t get a breath,” Trinity whispered.
Juliana fell to the floor.
Drawn by the argument, Chase walked out of the kitchen, looking pissed and rushing to Juliana. He and Mike exchanged words while Chase tried to comfort Juliana. Seeing the dire situation for what it was, Chase’s military training kicked in and he started CPR.
“Juliana must have still had the Fentanyl-laced heroin on her face. Enough that he overdosed, too.”
Chase kept breathing for Juliana, unaware of the danger.
Drake was so proud of his friend for stepping in to help.
Chase yelled at Mike several times in between pumping her chest and breathing for Juliana, who never moved or responded.
“I know it’s hard to watch, but it gets worse.”
Chase touched his hand to his chest, the effects of the drug taking hold and making his breathing labored. He yelled at Mike again, gave Juliana one more breath, then fell to his side just as Adria came out of nowhere.
She stood over Juliana, staring down at her for one long moment, then glanced at Chase, dumped her purse, and grabbed her phone.
“Mike has been standing there all this time, too damn concerned about what he did instead of calling an ambulance.” Trinity narrated what Drake just couldn’t grasp.
Why didn’t he help?
Mike kept wiping his hand on his pants. If Drake remembered correctly from news reports about the rise of Fentanyl use, it could be absorbed through the skin and cause an overdose.
Drake didn’t say anything. Couldn’t. Because he watched Adria break open a vial of some sort, fill the syringe she unwrapped with her teeth, then plunge it into Chase’s shoulder muscle. She glanced over at her sister, then back to Chase. She waited. Drake waited, but Chase didn’t wake up. He didn’t move. So Adria filled the syringe again and gave Chase a second dose. She put her hand on his chest. And Drake saw what she felt. He breathed on his own. Deep and even.
Adria turned from Chase and curled up on the floor next to Juliana, who never moved. He didn’t need the video to know the pain Adria felt with every racking sob that shook her body.
Trinity slammed the computer shut. “She saw Juliana lying on that floor with Chase and knew she couldn’t save her sister, so she used both doses of naloxone she had to save Chase. If she’d tried to save her sister, knowing she was already too far gone to bring back, Chase would have died. That’s the devastating decision she had to make in a split second despite how much she must have wanted to at least try to save Juliana.” Trinity took a calming breath, then let him have it. “Then you blamed her and Juliana for what happened.”
Drake closed his eyes and heard the angry words that had come out of his mouth at the hospital. “I didn’t mean it. I didn’t know the circumstances. I only knew that a man I served with, a man who had been struggling like me just to survive, nearly died again.”
“I know.” Trinity put her hand on his shoulder. “I hope for your sake and Adria’s that she comes to that conclusion as well. You two are so great together. I want you to be happy. But I don’t know if Adria will ever get over having to make that choice and wondering what might have happened if she’d given both those doses to Juliana. Could she have saved her? Probably not. But living with not even trying, that’s got to be hard, especially when she saved her sister the last time.”
He couldn’t even fathom how Adria felt right now. “Does she know that Mike dosed Juliana like this?”
“I told Roxy this morning on the phone about what happened and that the cops are trying to find Mike. She said Adria is in a state. She’s there, but not there. Roxy and the rest of them are scared what Adria might do. They’re keeping a very close eye on her.”
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“What about a service for Juliana? Adria needs to say goodbye.”
“I don’t think Adria will ever be able to say goodbye to the person who not only looked exactly like her but knew her best. Can you imagine what it will feel like every time she looks in the mirror and sees Juliana staring back at her?”
No. He couldn’t imagine it. But he’d seen the bond between them. Adria called Juliana her other half. He’d wanted to be that for her, too, but it hadn’t been clear until now how deep that truth went for Adria and Juliana. Adria would always know what was missing in her life every time she saw herself. Everything she did, Juliana would never do from this point on. Because of their unique bond, they’d shared every little thing right down to the way they tilted their heads when they listened and finished each other’s sentences.
Every accomplishment and setback in their lives, they’d been there for each other. They’d understood each other in a way no one else could.
He thought he understood. Roxy and Sonya would probably say the same, but how could any of them really know what it was like to be with someone who came from the very same cells that made you?
“Drake.”
“I’ve lost her.”
“Only if you give up and let her go. She needs you right now. She is in a dark, dangerous place. You know what that feels like. You know how to help her.” Trinity touched his arm. “Can you imagine how alone she must feel right now?”
Yes, he could. He’d felt as alone as someone could be before she walked into his life with her light and beautiful heart and understanding and compassion.
“You needed her. Now she needs you.”
Drake kissed his sister on the head, pulled his keys out of his pocket, and headed for the front door. He didn’t know what he’d say to Adria, but he had the whole drive over to Roxy and Noah’s place to figure it out.
Right now, Adria didn’t think she could live without her sister. It wouldn’t be easy, but she’d find a way. He’d help her find a new normal. The way she’d helped him find his.
And his life wasn’t complete without her.
Tough Talking Cowboy Page 25
