Maybe knowing that would be enough for her to forgive him for letting his anger get the best of him and lean on him during this difficult time, the way he’d leaned on her.
That’s what made them so good together.
All those thoughts and more went through his mind on the long drive. Ready to say his piece and do whatever Adria needed to feel better, he slammed on the brakes in the driveway, hopped out of the truck, and headed up the path to the front door.
Noah opened it before he hit the steps. “She’s not here.”
“What? Where is she?”
“Roxy and Adria went for a long ride this morning. Adria wasn’t really talking, or even engaging with anyone, but when they got back she insisted she wanted to go back to Wild Rose Ranch.”
That shocked him. “Why?”
“Because she wanted to tell her mother in person that Juliana died.”
Drake swore. He’d missed her. “No one’s told her yet?”
Noah sighed. “I don’t know how much you know about the girls and their moms.”
“I know that Adria’s mom was a drug addict who left her daughter alone with a child pornographer and pedophile.”
“I thought Roxy’s mom was the worst, but that one surprised me.” Noah stuffed his hands in his front pockets. “Crystal cleaned up her act, but there are times she goes off the rails again, so the girls decided to wait to tell her until Adria could deal with her mom.”
“You can’t tell me that Adria is in her right mind right now.”
“That’s why Roxy went with her. They’ll be back tomorrow night.”
Which meant Drake had to wait.
Noah notched his chin up. “So I guess you found out what really happened.”
Drake dropped his gaze to his boots. “Trinity showed me the video right before I came here.”
“You had to see it to believe it?” Noah’s question leveled an accusation at the same time.
His head snapped up. “No. No one told me anything before I saw that video. Trinity went for maximum impact. She wanted me to see what Juliana and Adria went through so I’d know the choice Adria faced and that she made an impossibly difficult decision.”
“Not so impossible.”
“What?”
“Adria spoke to the police last night. I was there. She told the officer she gave Chase both doses because she knew Juliana was already dead. What she doesn’t know is that Mike dosed Juliana.”
“Why didn’t anyone tell her that? Why let her think Juliana and Chase purposely took the drugs?”
“Because thinking her sister used again seemed a bit easier for her to take last night instead of telling her Mike killed Juliana.” Noah raked his fingers over his head. “We wanted to tell her today, but then she wanted to go back to the Ranch.”
“She needs to know her sister didn’t start using on her own again.”
“I assume Roxy will tell her before they speak to Crystal.”
Drake sighed out his frustration. “I wish I was with her.”
Noah seemed to understand that, although he’d messed up with Adria last night, Drake cared deeply about her.
He loved her.
He should have told her by now.
It shouldn’t have taken him this long to say the words. Maybe if he had, she couldn’t have walked away from him last night.
Noah clamped his hand on Drake’s shoulder. “How is your friend?”
“A mess. His brothers took him home to Wyoming this afternoon.” Drake hoped Chase’s brothers kept an eye on him. He hoped Chase found the strength to overcome this latest setback.
“I don’t know where Adria’s head is at right now, but I hope you two work things out. Roxy does, too. She said she’s never seen Adria as happy as she is with you.”
Drake was glad Noah didn’t say, “was with you.” He needed to believe there was still a chance to make this right. “I’m not giving up on us. Maybe she saved me so I could save her now.”
“I’ll let her know you came to see her.”
“Thanks, man. I appreciate it.” Drake left dejected, missing Adria even more, but hopeful that he’d get her back.
He wanted a future with her, because without her, his future looked bleak.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Adria stood outside her mother’s door with Roxy’s revelation ringing in her head. She came here to tell her mom the devastating news, but she could hardly believe the truth herself. She read the scene all wrong last night.
If she’d known Mike purposely dosed her sister, she’d have killed him.
If she got her hands on him before the cops, God help him.
The door opened and her beautiful mother stood there shocked. “I thought I heard someone lurking out here. Adria, what are you doing back? I thought you and Juliana were too busy to visit. I’m so proud of you both.”
She appreciated that unexpected sentiment, but grabbed her mom’s arm to make her listen. “Mom, stop.”
Crystal finally took a good look at her. “You’re working too much, baby. Look at you.”
She’d seen her bloodshot, swollen eyes in the mirror a split second before she’d turned away because she couldn’t stand to look at herself and see Juliana staring back at her.
It wasn’t fair.
She loved her sister desperately, but the reminder of her made Adria so sad she wasn’t sure her heart could take it.
“Mom, I came because I have something important to tell you.”
Crystal looked both ways down the hall. “Did Juliana come with you? I spoke to her the other day. She raved about your store. She texted me a picture she drew of the cabin. She said she loves it there, but can’t wait to go back to school. I’m so happy she’s moving on with her life.”
“Mom! Please. I need to talk to you.”
Crystal hooked her arm around Adria’s shoulder and pulled her inside the room. The bed was made with a navy cover. Hardwood floors gave way to a cream rug with a faded navy pattern that gave it an antique feel. Adria went for the two velvet navy chairs by the window and fell into one, trying not to think about what her mother did in this room.
“Seriously, baby, you’re starting to worry me.”
She stared up at her mom and took in the lines at the corners of her eyes and around her lips. She’d recently cut her hair short but a little longer on top. The soft waves gave her kind of a rock vibe. It went with the tight black tank dress that ended at her toned thighs, inches above the black leather thigh-high boots with the four-inch heels. Diamonds the size of dimes at her ears, around her neck, and on her fingers.
Crystal liked the good stuff.
She could afford it working here.
She and Juliana had Mom’s soft curves and lithe frame. They always wondered if they had their father’s face—a more feminine version of it anyway.
They’d never know. Could be any number of men their mother slept with back in the day when she worked the street, making money for her next fix.
“Baby, you need to start talking, because the longer you sit there staring at me the more I think you don’t want me to know whatever it is you came here to say.”
Adria took her mom’s hand and tugged. “Sit down.”
Crystal took the seat across from hers. “It can’t be that bad, baby. Whatever it is, you can tell me. I’ll help you any way I can. Though Roxy’s been the go-to girl these days, what with all her money.”
“Money can’t fix this. Nothing can fix this.”
“Are you pregnant, baby? Did that cowboy knock you up and leave you? Don’t you worry about him. You don’t need a man to take care of you. You’re strong and independent and you’ve got your sisters.”
“Mom! I’m not pregnant.”
Crystal sat back and slouched, dejected that Adria snapped at her. “Okay then. Did your cowboy up and leave?”
“No. Drake is . . .” She didn’t know how to finish that sentence. He was angry Chase got hurt. She didn’t blame him for that. She
felt bad for walking away, but she couldn’t deal with him and losing her sister all at once. It hurt that he thought Juliana deceived them, went back to doing drugs, and roped Chase into it with her.
Juliana wasn’t like that. Yes, she’d liked a good time, but she’d never, ever, coax someone into doing something they didn’t want to. She’d simply go find someone else who wanted to join in her fun. “Drake is home with his family and visiting with his friend in the hospital.”
“Was there an accident?”
“Yes.” She sucked in a breath. “Chase, Drake’s friend, accidentally overdosed giving Juliana mouth-to-mouth.”
Crystal sat forward, her body straight and rigid. “Wait. What?”
Adria’s eyes filled with tears and her heart overflowed with grief and guilt. “I couldn’t save her this time. Juliana didn’t make it.”
Crystal shook her head, denying the truth. “You’re lying. That’s not true.” Tears filled her mother’s eyes.
Adria understood her initial shock and disbelief. She felt the same way. Her brain refused to hold on to the belief that Juliana was truly gone.
Crystal leaned in. “She finished rehab. You guys talked about what happened and why she was upset.” Bitter feelings rose up that her mother reduced what happened to them as children as her and Juliana being upset. They’d been traumatized. Not in the same way, but they’d both suffered because of Crystal’s drug addiction.
Because of what their mother allowed to happen.
Because she didn’t protect them until it was too late.
Though those memories assaulted her again, she set aside her anger over that and tried to focus on Juliana.
“Jules wanted to go to school. She was with you, working at your store. Everything was right again.”
Adria’s heart pinched at all those truths. “That is the hardest part of all of this. Jules had a bright outlook on life and a real desire to take her second chance and live her life, happy and exploring a future full of possibilities, free of past hurts. But that was stolen from her.” Anger, all-encompassing, washed through her.
She wanted to rail at the unfairness and unjust way her sister died.
She wanted to find Mike and make him hurt the way she hurt.
She wanted to kill him for taking her beautiful sister from her.
“Stolen? You said she overdosed.”
“Someone forced her to take the drugs.”
Her mother shot up from her seat. “What? Someone killed my baby. Who?” She paced away, then turned back. “Why?”
“I wasn’t there when it happened. Mike liked Juliana. She liked working with him, but she wasn’t interested in dating him.”
“This man worked for you.” That sounded a lot like blame and it stung. But it also rang true because she did blame herself.
“Yes. That’s how they knew each other. I don’t know the exact circumstances, but based on the initial investigation, Mike offered her drugs. She said no. She tried to get up and leave, but Mike shoved the drugs into her face. She inhaled and ingested them. It is believed that Mike didn’t know the drugs were heavily laced with Fentanyl.”
Having used drugs in varying degrees and at various times in her life, Mom knew exactly what Juliana was forced to take.
“He killed her.” Finally, reality hit her mom and the devastation reflected in her eyes and the lines in her forehead. The tears streamed down her cheeks but her mom seemed frozen in place.
Adria rose, went to her mom, and wrapped her in a hug.
Crystal pushed her away. “I should have never let you take her there. She should have stayed here.”
Adria lost it. “With you! You never took care of us. You taught her that the way you deal with a problem is with a drink or drugs. Numb the pain. You don’t face it and do the work to come to terms with it. If I left her here with you, she probably would have overdosed again. And who would be there to save her? You?”
“I love her.”
“I love her. I wanted her to have a better and different kind of life than you bore us into.”
“I did the best I could.” And that’s all her mom had for her defense. Adria had always found it lacking and self-serving. For her twins, she could have tried harder.
“I did everything I could think of to help her. I miss her more with every breath I take. I can’t stand that she’s not here. I spent nearly every day of my life with her. I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life without her.”
Her mother’s hands shot down to her sides in fists. “Then you should have protected her.”
“No one could have predicted this would happen. If I’d seen signs that Juliana was slipping into old bad habits, I would have stepped in. If I’d seen any hint that Juliana wasn’t happy and looking forward to the future, I would have stepped in. If I thought for one second that rehab hadn’t been effective in getting Juliana clean and helping her find better ways to cope with adversity, I would have sent her back or found something, anything else to help her.”
But Adria could have never predicted this or spent every second with Juliana.
Mike’s horrible behavior and impulsive actions killed Juliana.
Adria could play the what-if game all day. What if she’d taken Juliana to pick up the TV stand? What if she’d sent Mike home instead of letting them hang out in the shop after hours? What if she’d gone with her gut and warned Juliana to stay clear of Mike? Juliana didn’t seem to be interested, but what if a warning would have made Juliana decide not to be alone with him?
What if she’d gotten back to the store just a few minutes earlier?
What if she’d given one of the naloxone doses to Juliana and administered CPR until paramedics arrived?
What if? What if?
“I was there for Juliana every day. She knew that. You knew that because you separated yourself from us and left us to raise ourselves. If I could change what happened, I would. I would take her place in a heartbeat, I love her that much. But what happened, happened, and I can’t change it. I flew here to tell you this in person, hoping we could share this pain and come together for Juliana. I don’t want to fight with you. I don’t want to play the blame game. I wanted you to hear what happened from me. I wanted you to know that Juliana had changed her life and someone else ruined that for her. He took that from her.”
“He better pay for taking her from us.”
“The police are looking for him.”
“And what about Juliana? What happens now?”
“I’ve made the arrangements for her to be cremated.”
“Why? Why not bury her? Someplace I can visit her.” Crystal barely visited them over the last few years since they graduated high school. In her eyes, they were capable adults who didn’t need a mother anymore.
They’d done better on their own than with her anyway.
“Because Juliana would want to be free, and I expect to do that for her by spreading her ashes.”
“So I don’t get a say in that either.”
Adria held her hands out wide. “What do you want me to do?”
“I want you to remember that I’m her mother.” Crystal wrapped one arm around her middle and pointed to her chest with her other hand. “I grieve for her.”
“Then remember that I was closer to her than you ever were. I knew her better than you ever did. I’m doing what I believe and know in my heart is what she would want, including coming here to see you when all I want to do is crawl in bed, pull the covers over my head, and cry until it doesn’t hurt anymore.”
Adria tried to suck in a breath around the emotions clogged in her throat and tightening her chest. “I fear nothing will make this pain go away.”
Mom did the unexpected. She pulled Adria into a tight hug. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m angry. I’m hurt. And I’m taking it out on you when all I want to do is kill that man who killed my sweet baby girl.”
Adria hugged her mom tighter. “I miss her so much.”
For the life of her, she co
uldn’t remember the last time her mother held her. It had always been Juliana who comforted her. They’d clung to each other physically and emotionally their whole lives. Juliana had been her heart. Her home. The soft place she fell when life got to be too much.
The overwhelming urge to see Drake mixed in with her desperate need to have Jules back.
But he was in Montana. She was here. And she didn’t really want to be anywhere right now.
She wanted to lose herself in oblivion and not feel anything anymore.
She recognized on some level how dangerous that was, but it didn’t change how she felt.
She stayed and talked to her mom about the mundane. At least everything felt that way now. The store’s success, Roxy’s and Sonya’s upcoming weddings, her life in Montana—none of it seemed consequential.
But it settled her mom.
Roxy arrived with the brothel’s Madam, Big Mama, who was clearly wrecked by Juliana’s death.
Big Mama pulled Adria into her ample bosom and hugged her close. “I’m so sorry, honey. I can’t imagine how difficult and heartbreaking it was for you to see your sister like that again and be unable to save her. You are brave and strong and you will survive this.”
Right now, Adria wasn’t so sure about that.
Not when she’d been faced with an impossible choice and second-guessed whether she’d made the right decision.
Roxy pulled her from Big Mama’s arms. “Come with me. We’ve got some things to do before we head back.”
Her mother wiped her eyes, smearing black mascara and making her look like a woman scorned. The anger was still there in her bloodshot eyes. Adria didn’t want to be here when her mother’s grief took over and she fell back on old behaviors.
Adria couldn’t deal with that right now. Breathing seemed like a monumental task.
She’d leave Crystal in Big Mama’s capable hands.
Crystal shook her head side to side, her arms wrapped tight around her middle. “How did all of you end up in Montana?”
Adria had wanted to get Juliana away from here, where she faced temptation at the Wild Rose Ranch and when she went out partying in Vegas.
But drugs infested every community.
She hadn’t been able to keep them away from Juliana even in her own shop.
Tough Talking Cowboy Page 26
