by Kelly, A. S.
“Don’t forget that I’ve agreed to coach the school team, too.”
“Do you really think she did that to bribe you?”
“I never said it was a bribe. It was an agreement.”
“Call it whatever you want, but I think she did it to help you out.”
“M-me?”
She stares at me, her expression serious.
“I don’t think you’re doing much better than me – and I think she knows that.”
Niall
“Is it normal for a fifteen-year-old girl to talk about certain things?”
“What kind of things?”
“Serious things. Mature things.”
Tyler looks at me as I switch on the ignition. I’ve come to pick him up on the way to training. I’m glad he’ll be with me – it makes me feel less uncomfortable. He knows everyone, too. Who doesn’t trust a fireman? I’m sure that him being there will help me out.
“That depends. Are we talking about your daughter, here?”
I nod, fixing my gaze firmly on the road.
“She seems pretty switched-on. Must’ve got it from her mother.”
“She is,” I say, a little sad.
“Nervous?” he asks after a few seconds of silence.
“Nah. Why would I be?”
“I was just asking… From what I can tell, you’re not used to being around kids.”
“All I have to do is make them play. It can’t be that hard.”
“If you say so…”
“I thought you were supposed to be giving me a hand, not making me more nervous.”
“I thought you said you weren’t nervous.”
I scowl at him and he laughs. “You were a kid once too, right?”
“Years ago.”
“It hasn’t been that long.”
“I don’t know what to do around kids. Look at the mess I’ve made with my own daughter.”
“Just think of it as extra experience.”
“I don’t want to think of her like that.”
“Why did you accept the job if you were so unsure?”
“The agreement. You know that.”
“I don’t believe that for a second; and neither do you.”
“What was I supposed to do, Tyler?” I ask as we pull into the school car park. “What else could I do around here?”
“I don’t know. Would your dad not hire you?”
“If I wanted to work for my dad, don’t you think I’d have done it years ago?”
“Twenty years ago, you had a choice.”
“Does that mean I don’t have one now?”
“Everything’s way more complicated now. But I know that this,” he gestures towards the school in front of us, “is a great place to start.”
As soon as we step through the entrance to the gym, I immediately regret ever thinking that this was a good idea. There are roughly twenty kids sitting on the steps, all between thirteen and sixteen years old, girls and boys, all busy concentrating on anything but what they’ve come here to do: play as a team. And maybe, if we’re lucky, win the tournament, rebuild my reputation and – if we’re really pushing it – make the headmistress fall at my feet. Okay, so maybe that’s taking it a little too far. It’s definitely too much to expect from the first training session. I need to take it step-by-step, and try not to embarrass myself. The rest will hopefully come later.
Some of the kids notice me, but are unperturbed; the others continue to ignore me. I used to be popular: all I had to do was walk into a room to gain everyone’s attention and respect. I was envied, sought-after, looked up to. I was someone. Someone who doesn’t exist anymore.
“Go on,” Tyler says, patting me encouragingly on the back. “Assert yourself.”
I roll my eyes and sigh heavily, before taking a few paces into the gym and positioning myself in the centre of the basketball court.
“Er, hi, everyone.”
No one responds.
“I’m your new coach.”
Still no response.
“Maybe some of you already know me?”
Not a single shit given. I’m starting to think they’re doing it on purpose.
“So, I…”
A whistle from across the court makes me jump, and everyone falls suddenly silent. I turn slowly to see Ms Hill wearing a gym tracksuit, a ball tucked under her arm and the whistle still dangling from her lips.
In an instant, my biggest problem is no longer the kids ignoring me; it’s the pulsing bulge between my legs.
“The coach was talking to you,” she says coolly, one hand on her hip. There’s pride on her face: she knows how to put them in their place. “I expect your full attention, respect and effort. If I don’t see even one of those three things from you, you’re out. Do I make myself clear?”
Someone murmurs a lazy yes.
“I didn’t hear you!”
Her voice makes the walls of the gym shake. My legs aren’t so steady, either.
“Yes, Ms Hill!” they chime in unison.
She looks at me, satisfied, and nods at me to go on. I turn back towards the sea of faces, all aimed at me, and I speak: confidently and assuredly, with a newfound strength in my voice and adrenaline pumping through my body.
“I’m your coach, Coach Kerry. And now, I’m your fucking problem.”
“Was there really a need to say ‘fucking’?” Jordan scolds me as the kids are busy with their warm-up exercises.
“I was riled up.”
“I could tell.”
“Thanks to you and your little speech.”
“Sorry, I thought it would help.”
“You said you weren’t coming.”
“I never said that. I’m the one who set up this whole arrangement – I need to check it’s all going well.”
“Does that mean you’ll be at every training session?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
“And what happened to ‘we can’t see each other outside school’?”
“This is still within the terms of the agreement.”
“You’re checking up on me, aren’t you? You don’t trust me.”
“If that were the case, I wouldn’t let you coach my kids.”
“You really care about this tournament, don’t you?”
“I care about everything that happens in this school. It isn’t just a job for me,” she says quietly.
“It’s your life.”
“A huge part of it, yes. And I’ve decided that’s how it’s supposed to be,” she says, partly to herself.
“I didn’t mean to imply otherwise.”
Tyler tells the kids to take a two-minute break as he tries to yank the coloured vests out of a bag.
“Do you intend on making him do all the work?”
“Nah. Only the boring stuff.”
She shakes her head, but there’s a smile on her lips. “You’re impossible, Kerry.”
“You knew that when you hired me – but you also knew that I know exactly how to win this thing.”
“I really hope so, for your sake.”
“So, tell me. If we win this tournament, what’s my prize?”
“The school will pay you for your trouble.”
“I’m not talking about money.”
She glances at me questioningly.
“If we win this tournament, will you agree to give me a chance?”
“A…what?”
“Let me take you out. We’ll have dinner, go for a walk on the bay. Maybe even another goodnight kiss.”
“Are you joking?”
“I’m deadly serious.”
“I thought you and I were way past all that.”
“But we never went through the right steps.”
“I didn’t have you down for a guy who stuck to the ‘right steps’.”
“No, that’s true – but you’re the kind of woman who makes me want to take those steps.”
She smiles, blushing furiously. She still hasn’t told me to piss off, yet
.
“Don’t waste your moves on me.”
“You have no idea how many more moves I have up my sleeve.”
She rolls her eyes, but her expression is amused.
“You should save them for someone else. Someone who might actually fall for them.”
“And you think you won’t?”
“Exactly.”
“Great. So… What do I have to lose?”
She looks at me.
“If you’re so sure…”
“Even if I accept – which I would only do just to prove that you have no effect on me whatsoever – there’s still a conflict of interest.”
“We’ll find a solution.”
“There is no solution.”
“Well, I don’t think dinner and a little walk is a violation of any codes.”
“Probably not, but as for that kiss…”
“I can pass on the kiss.”
She looks at me, unconvinced.
“If you promise me that I can at least hold your hand when we’re at the docks.”
“That violates our contract, too.”
“It’ll be pitch-black. I promise, no one will see us.”
She considers this for a moment, then looks out at the kids, who have put on their vests and divided themselves into two teams.
“Fine. But until then…”
“Friends,” I say immediately. “Just friends.”
“Friends? Seriously?”
“Don’t tell me that goes against one of your rules.”
“No. It’s allowed.”
“Then why not?”
She looks me right in the eye.
“Only if you promise that you won’t try anything in the meantime. You won’t try to kiss me, or brush against me, or say anything that will remind me of that night.”
“Sure.”
“Nothing that makes me think that we’re anything more than friends.”
That’ll be a difficult promise to keep, but I can try. I really want to try.
I hold out my hand.
“Deal.”
She glances warily at it, before shaking.
“So it’s agreed.”
“Another agreement.”
“True – but mine is definitely more tempting than yours.”
“Remember, you have to win first.”
She drops my hand and I stand up, turning my attention back to my little team of losers. I’m about to turn them into a group of champions.
“I don’t lose, Headmistress,” I say, all the blood rushing to one particular area as I utter those words. “And I won’t lose this tournament.”
Jordan
Niall stands up and goes over to join his team; I sit there, in the stands, inexplicably giddy after our conversation. After giving him that whole speech about how nothing can ever happen between us again, after making him sign that agreement and limiting our relationship to be strictly professional, what the hell do I do?
I accept his proposal.
It was a no-brainer – right?
I must be crazy. It must be some sort of hormonal imbalance that hits you after a certain age. Or maybe it’s just the fact that the man made me come three times in one night – and I can’t think of anything but how another three times would feel. Well, I have a whole orgasm-less year to make up for!
Okay, so I didn’t sleep with anyone for a whole year – maybe more. The last time I had sex was with my husband – or, should I say, ex-husband – and I wouldn’t exactly call it a performance to remember. After I discovered that he’d cheated and kicked him out of the house, I wasn’t really in the right mindset to have anything to do with men; so much so that, for Christmas, Anya bought me one of those pink vibrators which are specially-designed for lonely women like me. It’s lived in my underwear drawer ever since. Let’s just say I wasn’t exactly in the right mindset for that, either.
Steven left me feeling empty, exhausted and disappointed. And that’s exactly how I’ve felt for the past year of my life – that is, before Niall Kerry jumped into my bed. Now, it feels like my senses are waking up again – and I can’t seem to calm them down.
He manages to look sexy even in a tracksuit. His perky backside hasn’t gone unnoticed, either; and let’s not even mention his muscular arms and well-toned torso, his skin-tight shirt clinging to his pecs as if it were tattooed onto his body.
Staring at him like this is not helping; drinking in every detail, replaying our night together over and over in my mind. Dreaming of more orgasms. This isn’t why I came here: I’m here to make sure he does his job, to ensure that my team is going to win this damn tournament.
I’m trying to focus my attention on the kids when Tyler approaches, sitting down on the step next to me.
“How did he manage to talk you into being his assistant?”
“Hey, it’s Kerry; you can’t exactly say no to him.”
Exactly. Apparently, Tyler and I share the same problem, there.
“He knows how to be convincing.”
Who knows whether he convinced Mary Hannigan, too? I can’t stop thinking about it, and I definitely can’t start believing it. That rumour destroyed her and her family, and forced her to move away to another city, to leave her friends behind. All because of Niall Kerry. And that should be more than enough to convince me not to go too close to him.
“But you know how to play your cards, too.”
“What are you implying?”
“Me? Absolutely nothing,” he says, laughing. “But, seriously. Nice work.”
“It’s my job. I have to help my students, make things work in this school.”
“And is it also your job to help your students’ fathers?”
“Of course – I help their families, too,” I say, pointedly.
Tyler smiles as he watches Niall try to explain something to the kids: probably the rules and positions.
“He needs this, you know.”
“What do you mean?”
“He needs a fresh start.”
“Everyone needs a fresh start at some point in their lives,” I say, a hint of sadness creeping into my voice.
“Yeah – but he’d already reached the end of the line.”
“I didn’t know you guys were so close,” I say, a little shocked. I didn’t think Niall had stayed in contact with anyone in town.
“To be honest, we hadn’t seen each other for years. But you know how it works: you only need to see someone a couple of times to pick things up from where you left off.”
I’m scared that his theory applies to me, too – but not quite in the same way.
I never liked Niall Kerry. Okay, so he was drop-dead gorgeous. He was funny and charming, but he was never my type. We lived in different worlds; he was into his sports, one of the best-looking guys in school. He always went out with the prettiest girls. Everyone adored him for his sporting talents. And me? I was the nerd, a member of the debating club, president of the Student Council. I always had to get the best grades in everything; I wanted to go to the best university in the country.
We had nothing in common; and seeing him here, now, after twenty years, only confirms what I already knew. Despite the night we spent together, despite all his games, and the fact that he seems so interested in me. He’s probably only trying to ensure the best possible future for his daughter – and for himself, too.
“I wouldn’t be so sure,” I find myself saying, now, after dragging myself back from my thoughts. “I wouldn’t trust him so much.”
“Are you talking to me? Or to yourself?”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, Tyler, but I’d never trust him.”
“What do you think could happen?”
To you, nothing.
“I don’t know; I just don’t trust him. I don’t think his intentions are in the right place – not deep down.”
“Looks like someone’s never quite moved on.”
“You’re wrong. I have moved on. I grew up, I built a life for myself.”
I watch Niall as he jokes around with the kids. “He’s stayed exactly the same.”
“Mmm,” he says, considering this. “Maybe he hasn’t grown up just yet, but he’s on the right path.”
“I don’t think so, Tyler.” I heave a sad sigh, shocked that I feel so emotional about the whole thing. “I don’t think I can ever believe in another man,” I mutter, quietly – but Tyler hears.
“I understand that, and I respect your opinion, but maybe you should give him a chance – just as a friend.”
“I don’t think he’d be capable of that.”
“It’s okay to be hurt, Jordan; to feel like you can never trust anyone again. And it’s okay to hate people, sometimes, too – I mean, I can’t do it, but some people need to place the blame on others. They need to slam someone else’s balls in the boot of the car.”
I laugh, in spite of myself.
“But it’ll pass, I promise. And when you start to look around, when you start to long for something again, you need to open your eyes. You need to make sure you don’t miss anything – even the things you never believed in could grow into something amazing.”
Niall
I say goodbye to the kids as I’m collecting up the vests and balls, when Jordan crosses the court towards me.
“Nice work, Coach.”
I heave the bag of equipment over my shoulder.
“Are you making fun of me?”
“Why would I?”
“Because I feel like I did anything but a good job today.”
“You’re being too hard on yourself.”
“I feel like they don’t want me here.”
“You’re new. Just give them time – they’ll get used to you and your ways.”
“My ways? What ‘ways’?”
“I was keeping count of how many times you said the word…” she leans closer to me and lowers her voice, “…fuck.”
I grin.
“We’re alone, you know,” I point out. “You can say it out loud.”
Jordan looks around; maybe she hadn’t realised that we were alone in the gym. Just me and her. Tyler left twenty minutes ago – he had to be somewhere – and all the kids had already filed outside.
“I’m not used to using that kind of language,” she says, by way of explanation.
