Last Call

by Kelly, A. S.

  I didn’t go and visit them then, either.

  I’m not proud of who I was and, like my dad says, I can’t make up for the time I never spent with her; but we can try to build something now. Even though I still don’t feel quite ready to be a father, I know that the time has come for me to prove to myself – and to my family – that I can do better. And maybe I’ll be able to prove it to all the other people that don’t believe in me, too.

  I’ve never been in love. I didn’t even love her mother. She was beautiful and funny; she was independent and open-minded. She never asked me to stay with her, never tried to trap me. She just wanted her daughter to have a father – and I couldn’t even shed a single tear at her funeral.

  I wasn’t a good guy, and I have no justification for that. I didn’t have a traumatic childhood, or anything that had scarred me deeply. I’m simply a dickhead – and that’s exactly how I deserve people to see me. Including my own daughter.

  “Lunch is ready,” Skylar says from behind me.

  I get to my feet and brush the grass from my trousers. After painting half the fence, I’d decided to sit under a tree and think.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Sure. Why?” We walk up to the back door.

  “You seem weird.”

  “Are you worried about me?” I ask, teasing her.

  “Not at all.” She flicks her head away instantly.

  “I’m just feeling thoughtful.”

  “I didn’t ask because I want to be your therapist, Kerry.”

  “Then why did you ask?”

  She shrugs, reaching for the door.

  “Can I ask you something?”

  She stops and turns to face me.

  “Your mother…”

  Her eyes widen.

  “Did she ever tell you…?” I take a deep breath. I don’t know whether it’s right to weigh her down with this. “What did she tell you about us, exactly?”

  “Why are you asking me this?”

  “Because I need to know.”

  “You want to know what she told me about the huge bastard you were to her?”

  I should never have asked – and not just for the response I’m preparing myself to receive.

  “Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.”

  “You’re worried that she told me things about you; that I hate you because of what she told me?”

  “No, Skylar. That’s not what I’m worried about.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “It’s just that…” I glance painfully towards her. “I’m scared that I made her suffer, that I hurt her, or…” I don’t know if I can go on. “I should have apologised to her, that’s all.”

  Skylar studies my expression for a moment.

  “Do you know why my name is Skylar? Why she chose it?”

  I shake my head.

  “She told me that I was conceived under the stars.”

  It takes everything inside me not to cry.

  “So, no. I don’t think you made her suffer.”

  “Thank you for telling me.”

  “Do you feel better now?”

  I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to ward off the tears.

  “Not really.”

  Skylar nods, slowly.

  “I don’t think there’s anything that could make it better,” she says, her voice low and uncertain. “Not even setting fire to a science lab.”

  I smile sadly. “I can imagine.”

  She turns and steps inside as I stand there for a minute, thinking of all the ways I can prove to this girl that she can trust me. She can fall apart, crumble to the ground, and I’ll still be here, with her, waiting to pick up the pieces. Ready to help her build something that can bring her even a little peace.

  Niall

  “You’re not listening, Tyler.”

  “Can’t you see I’m busy?”

  “Doing what?”

  “I’m on cleaning duty today.”

  “Do you guys ever actually do any work here?”

  Tyler whips around to face me, broom in hand.

  “You should be happy we haven’t been called out. It means no one needs us at the moment.”

  “Maybe you’re right, but every time I come here to talk to you, you’re doing something else!”

  “I’m still wondering why you keep turning up here.”

  “I don’t have a lot to do. I work one day a week, Skylar’s at school, my parents are working…”

  “You could find a hobby. Or maybe help your dad out in the fields.”

  I glare at him.

  “Never mind.”

  Tyler drops the broom and gestures for me to follow him into the fire station kitchen.

  “I need another coffee. Do you want one?”

  “Why not? Thanks. And no sugar – I’m trying to cut down. I don’t do much exercise nowadays, and I definitely eat more than I move.”

  Tyler hands me a mug and we both sit around the table.

  “So you turned up at her place for dinner, had sex, made her breakfast, then ran away because you were scared?”

  “I did not run away because I was scared!” I say, trying to defend myself from his perfectly apt description.

  “Then what happened? Why did you suddenly change your mind?”

  “I didn’t change my mind. I just followed the usual course of events.”

  “The events that led you to her house? And told you to sleep with her?”

  “Exactly.”

  Tyler rolls his eyes, then leans back into his seat.

  “I told you to sort your head out before you did anything.”

  “Well, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not the kind of guy to sit around thinking about things. I just do whatever my gut tells me.”

  “And your gut told you to jump into bed with her?”

  “My gut told me to go and see her. Jumping into bed was just a natural part of the process.”

  “You’re making things too complicated, Kerry.”

  I scoff. Why did I even come and talk to him? Oh, yeah. I had fuck all else to do.

  “You’re behaving exactly as she’s expecting you to.”

  “She was perfectly clear about what she doesn’t want from me.”

  “Then why did it happen again?”

  “I already told you: we had dinner, I brought dessert…”

  “And the night before, you saved her from an embarrassing encounter, took her home, kissed her…”

  Why the hell did I tell him everything?

  “Then the next day you turn up at her door with dinner from her favourite restaurant. Come on, man – you even brought her a chocolate dessert!”

  “What has chocolate got to do with it?”

  “I don’t want to keep repeating myself, but how the fuck did you manage to get all those women?”

  “At this point, I have no idea, either.”

  “You gave her all the signs, mate.”

  “Do you think?”

  “If there’s one thing I’ve learned about women, it’s that they pick up on everything, question every little detail. And if she slept with you, again…”

  “Maybe she just wanted one more night.”

  “One night is fine, Kerry. But two? And dinner? …That all seems like something more.”

  “I didn’t come here for you to put these thoughts in my head.”

  “What did you expect me to say? That you did well to just disappear again the next day?”

  “Yeah.”

  “And how did you feel, leaving like that?”

  “I don’t know. Weird.”

  “Weird?”

  “Guilty.”

  Tyler crosses his arms and looks at me, his gaze serious. “You like her.”

  “No.”

  “Yes.”

  “You’re way off.”

  “You’re lying to yourself.”

  “I don’t like her. I’m not…interested. Not in the way you’re implying.”

  “I’m not imply
ing anything. I’m just telling you what I see, and unfortunately, I’m right this time. You like the headmistress.”

  I scoff nervously.

  “You’ve spent twenty years out looking for something better, yet you’ve ended up exactly where you started, chasing after the school nerd.”

  “Firstly, I don’t chase anyone.”

  “Correct me if I’m wrong here, but weren’t you the one to turn up at her house?”

  “And, besides…a nerd…?”

  “That’s what she was.”

  “She was intelligent and amazing.”

  “See? You like her.”

  “Enough bullshit, Tyler. I’m thirty-eight, not sixteen.”

  Nearly thirty-nine, a little voice cries in my head. But, like I said earlier: that’s just an insignificant detail.

  “Just because you’re thirty-eight you can’t like a woman?”

  “It was just sex.”

  “So you don’t think about her?”

  Her hair splayed out over the sheet, her eyes closed in pleasure. Her mouth is swollen from my kisses, her porcelain skin glowing in the dimness of the room.

  “No.”

  “Well, in that case…” He gets up. “You wouldn’t mind if I asked her out?”

  “W-what?”

  “I don’t see anything wrong with that.”

  “You want to ask her out?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Are you saying you like her?”

  “Yeah.”

  I open my mouth to speak, but something spreads through my chest, preventing me from drawing breath.

  “Do you have a problem with that?”

  I don’t know if he’s bluffing or not, so I decide to play along. “Not at all. As long as you don’t mind the fact that she slept with me first.”

  He smiles mischievously at me. He knows I’m playing.

  “Not at all. I don’t care about people’s past. All I care about is the present, and, eventually, the future.”

  “Good,” I respond flatly.

  “Perfect,” he says, confident.

  “When do you want to ask her out?”

  “I don’t think that’s any of your business.”

  What a dickhead. And a good friend.

  “In that case, I don’t think we have anything else to say to each other.”

  He shrugs indifferently.

  “Have fun.”

  He smiles smugly. “We definitely will.”

  Jordan

  Skylar pokes her head into my office towards the end of the lunch break.

  “What have I done?” she asks, alarmed.

  “I just wanted to have a chat with you.”

  “It was announced over the loudspeaker,” she says, concerned. “That’s what they used to do when I got expelled.”

  “Oh, no, Skylar, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for you to expect the worst. That’s how we usually call students – not just if they’re in trouble.”

  She studies my expression, unconvinced, from the doorway.

  “Please, come in.” I gesture towards the chair across from me.

  Skylar steps inside tentatively and sits down. I take a seat, too, smiling at her; her expression tells me that she doesn’t trust my words of encouragement.

  “There’s just something I wanted to talk to you about. Nothing to worry about, okay?”

  She nods.

  “I’ve been thinking about how to help you make up for the school you missed.”

  “You mean the whole year I dropped?”

  “Exactly. I’ve been going through your reports, and I’ve noticed that you have the most trouble with the more scientific subjects.”

  “I’m terrible at Maths, and Science is boring.”

  “I hated them, too.”

  “Seriously?”

  “I preferred subjects like English and History.”

  “I like History, too,” she says, suddenly shy.

  “There are always things that everyone struggles with, that we can’t do very easily. But that doesn’t mean we’ve failed.”

  She smiles self-consciously.

  “It just means that we need to put a little more work into those things.”

  “Do you think so?”

  “Absolutely. Sometimes you just need the right help.”

  “I don’t have anyone who can help me.”

  “That’s where I come in.”

  She watches me, concern flickering back into her face.

  “I want to find someone who can help you properly.”

  “A teacher?”

  “Not exactly.” I see Anya approaching with Carter, and gesture for her to let him in. He takes two steps into my office and stands behind Skylar.

  “This is Carter.”

  Skylar turns to look at him, and he waves.

  “He’s going to tutor you.”

  Skylar spins suddenly back around to face me.

  “Maths, Chemistry, Physics and Biology.”

  “Are you kidding?”

  “He can come to your house, or you could meet in the school library. What do you think?”

  “I’m happy with anything,” Carter says. “Whatever works best for you.”

  Skylar turns to look at him, again.

  “I’m not stupid,” she tells him, her voice hard. She gets to her feet. “I don’t need anyone to tutor me.” She seems offended.

  “I don’t think you’re stupid, honey.”

  “Don’t call me honey.”

  “Sorry, you’re right.” I take a deep breath. “I’ve asked Carter to help you because I want to give you a chance to make up for the year you’ve missed. I thought that studying alone might be too much.”

  She crosses her arms. “I don’t want to study with him.”

  Carter lowers his gaze in embarrassment.

  “Just give him a chance. If you’re still not comfortable with it, then we can always find a new solution later on.”

  She scoffs and faces him. “I’m not an idiot, okay? And don’t try to treat me like one.”

  “Oh, I… No, I would never do that.”

  “Or I swear, I’ll beat you up in that car park out the back.”

  “I didn’t need to hear that.”

  “I don’t… I wouldn’t…” Carter starts to panic.

  Maybe this wasn’t the right decision. Maybe an adult tutor would’ve been better. I thought that she’d feel less intimidated by someone her own age; but, judging by her reaction, that may not have been the right call.

  “Why don’t you try getting to know one another, first? Maybe you could use one of the classrooms after school to have a chat and decide how you’re going to organise everything.” I attempt. I can’t go back on my idea without at least giving it a try.

  “That works for me,” Carter says. “I can stay behind for an extra hour.”

  “If I have to…” Skylar says, not at all impressed by my suggestion. But she accepts, albeit begrudgingly.

  “Good.” I let out a sigh of relief.

  “Jordan?” Anya says, appearing in the doorway. “Someone’s here for you. He says he called earlier. It’s Tyler Hayes.”

  “Of course, let him in. We’re done here. Go on, guys, the bell’s about to ring.”

  Carter pushes his glasses up his nose and waits for Skylar to storm past him, through the door. She rolls her eyes and heads out into the hallway, Carter at her heels. But as he’s turning the corner, he walks straight into Tyler.

  “Hey, kid! Chin up and eyes front,” he says, jokingly, before striding comfortably into my office.

  “Tyler Hayes,” I say, taking my glasses off and laying them on the desk. “What can I do for you?”

  Niall

  The car door slams forcefully, making me jump.

  “I’m guessing it’s best not to ask you how it went?”

  Skylar glares at me.

  “Got it. Let’s go.”

  I pull out of the school car park and head for the exit, stopping to let a
boy cycle past, his hand raised towards us in greeting. I glance at my daughter, who raises her middle finger in response, then pull out onto the road. I’m torn between confusion and amusement. I know I should definitely not even be considering the latter, but I can’t help it. I’m still a dickhead, after all.

  “So. What’s going on?”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  Skylar messaged me earlier to say that she had to stay an hour later at school for an assignment that the head teacher had given her. Not entirely trusting of her version of events, I called the school to confirm. Anya responded, telling me that the headmistress was too busy to come to the phone; but she confirmed what my daughter had told me. I have no idea if Jordan really was busy, but I’ve chosen to believe it.

  “So, what has the headmistress asked you to do?”

  Skylar scoffs huffily. “I have to do extra lessons.”

  “Lessons?”

  “Maths, Science. Boring stuff.”

  I couldn’t agree more, but I keep that particular opinion to myself.

  “How come? Is it really going that badly? You’ve only just started – she could’ve waited a few weeks, couldn’t she?”

  “It’s so that I can catch up with the year I missed. She doesn’t want me to waste any time.”

  “Oh…of course. Well, I guess it’s a good thing, then?”

  “She’s assigned a nerd to tutor me.”

  “A nerd.”

  “What would you call them?”

  “I don’t know, it depends… What exactly are we talking about, here?”

  “The top of our year. He’s in line for an academic scholarship at Trinity College – something about molecular Biology or something. Why the fuck should I know?” She raises her voice.

  “If you knew that, you probably wouldn’t need him to tutor you.”

  “Whose side are you on, Kerry?” she yells from the passenger seat.

  “Yours, obviously.”

  Not particularly mature from my part, but I have to win her trust, don’t I?

  “I’m not an idiot,” she says, calmer now.

  “I know you’re not.”

  “Then why do I need to do extra lessons?”