Carnal Secrets

by Suzanne Wright

  The overprotectiveness got her back up. Making her even more pissed, Shaya found that she actually wanted to be with Nick and wanted to comfort him. It was instinctive—he was her mate, and something was clearly paining him. But that instinct made her want to slap herself. “He doesn’t need to—”

  Nick ignored her. “Kent, do you need a ride home?”

  “No, thanks,” he replied as he hopped out of the other side of the vehicle. “I have my MINI Cooper.”

  Nick gave him a brief nod and then returned his attention to Shaya. “I’ll see you in the—”

  Frustrated, Shaya went to get out of the SUV, but then she froze at the low warning growl that rumbled out of him.

  “I can’t be around you right now, Shay. And I think you know why. But if you really insist on Derren not taking you home, I’ll do it myself regardless. The problem is I can’t guarantee I won’t touch you.” There was no way he’d let her walk home on such a cold evening. No mate would. When she opened her mouth to object again, he gave her a look that said he’d argue with her all night if he had to. Eventually she sighed and slumped in her seat. “Good girl. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  “Go squat and piss up a tree, asshole.”

  He almost smiled at that. “Right.”

  A few hours later, Nick was in his motor home tossing several pills into his mouth. These days, he took so many pills so often that he was surprised he didn’t rattle as he walked.

  Derren shook his head from his seat at the U-shaped black leather dinette. “You didn’t tell me the headaches were happening so close together.”

  Nick forced a careless shrug. “Why would I? It’s not important.”

  “You can’t afford to be flippant about this, Nick.”

  “The healing sessions worked, remember? As I recall, you were one of the people telling me not to let fear rule my actions and to go after Shaya.”

  “I was also one of the people who heard Amber tell you the symptoms might return.”

  Nick slumped onto the black leather sofa bed opposite the dinette, his eyes shut, pinching the bridge of his nose. Bruce joined him on the sofa and butted his shoulder, hinting for some attention. With his free hand, Nick began scratching him between the ears. “They’re just headaches, Derren. Bad, yes. Frequent, yes. But they’re still just headaches.”

  Exasperation filled Derren’s voice. “Look, I get why you’re refusing to consider this might be something to worry about. And I get that you don’t want to let Shaya down again. But this is one time you can’t afford to risk yourself for other people. This is serious.”

  Nick’s eyes flipped open. “You think I don’t know that? If at any time I’m convinced the symptoms are coming back and the healing sessions failed, I’ll leave. I don’t want Shaya being my caregiver. Unless that happens, I’m staying where I am.”

  There was a short pause before Derren sighed. “Fine. Off topic, do you think Logan will be smart enough to leave you alone?”

  “Nope. He has a score to settle—not just because I dislocated his shoulder once, but because I always managed to fight him off and intervened many times he tried abusing other shifters. Plus, I’m guessing he knows just how badly I’d like to hurt him. It would suit him if I retaliated, and he probably thinks that it won’t take much to make that happen.”

  “You think he’ll spend his time trying to rile you, trying to get a violent response from you to support the extremists’ argument?”

  “Think about it: If he can rile me enough to attack him, he can present an argument to the court that an alpha male who spent time in juvie isn’t reformed after all, that he’d attacked humans again. That will go a long way to proving that the current way of dealing with offending shifters isn’t working and that some changes are necessary.”

  Derren shook his head, blowing out a breath. “Shit, Nick, you really need to leave this place. Any shifter with any sense is keeping a low profile while the court hearing is due.”

  “I said Logan wants a reaction—I didn’t say he’d get it.” No matter what Logan or the other humans did, nothing would provoke him enough to retaliate. Not simply because being cooped up in a prison again would most likely send his wolf totally over the edge, but because behind bars would count as leaving Shaya again. He couldn’t do that. Nor could he add fuel to the current fire created by the human extremists—he would be letting down his entire race if he did that.

  Derren rested his arms on the cherry wood table that the dinette framed. The wood ran throughout the entire motor home. “What if Shaya doesn’t come around? She’s angry, Nick.”

  “She has a right to be.”

  “No, she doesn’t, but she thinks she does because you haven’t told her everything. Right now, when she looks at you she sees a person who rejected and abandoned her. She sees someone she can’t rely on and who has every reason to suffer. When she finds out she put you through shit you didn’t deserve, she’s going to be pissed with you, and she’s going to feel guilty when it’s not her fault. That’s not fair to either of you.”

  “You don’t like her, do you?”

  “I don’t like that she’s not willing to give you a second chance.”

  “Wait until you find your mate,” said Nick with a half smile. “Any emotion you feel is magnified tenfold, particularly pain. She’s right to be so reluctant.”

  Derren gave him a “whatever” look. “I still say you should tell her everything.”

  “I heard you. Now, are we playing poker or what? I’ve missed kicking your ass at it.”

  “There’d be no sport in winning against a guy whose head is pounding so badly that he can’t even see properly. But as I don’t have a particularly fussy conscience, let’s play.”

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Finding Nick again waiting by his car with a Starbucks coffee for her the next morning, Shaya thought he looked a lot calmer. She, by contrast, wasn’t so calm. “You know, you and Derren are unbelievably alike. Neither of you can take a hint, and neither of you pay any attention to what other people want.” She still snatched one of the coffee cups, though.

  As always, Nick and his wolf were amused by the snippy side of her nature. “Such charming manners.” When he tucked a stray curl behind her ear, she predictably slapped his hand away.

  Shaya went to take a sip of the coffee but then stopped. “Wait, this isn’t the one you’ve been drinking out of, is it?”

  “You ask that like I have an infectious disease or something.”

  She shrugged. “I just don’t like sharing straws or glasses or cups with other people.”

  “Really?”

  “It’s one of my quirks.”

  He raised a brow. “You have others?”

  “Yes. I paint my nails when I’m extremely pissed off. I sleep diagonally. I have a serious issue with birds. I always lose my pens. And I hate using public bathrooms—I would rather hold it in until I get home. Even using the one at work is hard.”

  Laughing, Nick opened the passenger door and gestured for her to hop in. Bruce was inside, lounging on the backseat. “I’ll give you a ride to work again.”

  “I’m perfectly capable of getting there by myself, thanks.” In honesty, though, the offer was tempting since she was exhausted after another restless night—stress was a bitch. Not even going for a run in her wolf form in the wooded area behind her house had helped.

  “I’ll even let you drive.”

  That had her attention, and his smug smirk said he knew it. “Yeah, right.”

  “Why wouldn’t I?”

  “Because boys are weird like that—they don’t like anyone else even touching their car.”

  “You’re my mate. What’s mine is yours.” He dangled the keys in front of her, watching her try to wrestle back her eagerness. But then movement in his peripheral vision caught his attention.

  As his expression switched from playful to alert, she followed his gaze. Three males were gathered at the end of the street, casting subtle looks th
eir way. “Aren’t they the rebels?”

  Sensing her wolf’s nervousness, Nick closed the small distance between them. “It’s fine.” They didn’t appear to be looking for trouble, but he wouldn’t risk Shaya’s safety. “Well, are you driving or am I driving?”

  Shaya regarded him curiously. “You’re not going to turn into an overprotective caveman and shove me in your car because strange males are lurking nearby?” It would be a typical reaction for a dominant male wolf.

  “No, but I am hoping you’ll do the sensible thing and accept a ride.”

  She wanted to, but that might insinuate to him that he was making progress with her. “I like to walk.” Rather than explode, he shrugged one shoulder.

  “Then we walk.”

  “I didn’t mean—” She growled. “Do you have to be such a pain in the ass?”

  Cupping her chin, he ran his thumb over her bottom lip and seized her gaze with his. “Shay, I don’t know what those guys want, but I do know that I have no intention of letting them harm you. If that means pissing you off this morning by sticking by you as you make your way to work, that’s what I’ll do. I need to know you’re safe.”

  She could point out that he had no right to appear after six months and appoint himself as her guardian, but that would be futile because he’d stick to her side no matter what she said if he believed her safety was at risk. Arguing with him would be fruitless and would only make her even later for work than she already was. “If I’m going to suffer your company this morning, I’ll do it in the comfort of your car. You drive. I want to drink my coffee.”

  Satisfied, Nick nodded. She grumbled something about paranoid dominant males as she slid into the passenger seat. Now that she was in the safety of the car, he shot the rebels a challenging stare, but they didn’t respond. So what the hell did they want? Shoving aside the issue for now, he hopped inside the car.

  Noticing Derren in the side mirror making his way from the motor home to his SUV, Shaya asked, “Did he sleep there last night?”

  Pulling out onto the road, Nick nodded. “I told him he could use the comfort of my home to get a good night’s rest if he promised to go back to California this morning.”

  “You know he won’t go, don’t you?”

  Nick sighed. “Derren does what Derren wants to do. He’s always been like that.”

  “He doesn’t like me.” She cringed at how petulant she sounded.

  “He can’t make that assessment—he doesn’t know you.”

  “Neither do you.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong, baby. I know that you love dancing, drink mainly cocktails, have more stilettos than is reasonable, you don’t like mushrooms or anchovies, and you enjoy listening to music and sketching clothes.”

  Startled, words failed her. He’d always ignored her, sometimes even looked right through her, so how could he know anything? “But…but how? You asked Taryn?”

  “I told you the first night I came here that I’d missed watching you. I might not have spoken to you whenever I went to Phoenix Pack territory, but I was always paying attention to every single thing you did.”

  And that got to her, soothed her wolf’s damaged ego. He was supposed to be an ass so she could continue rejecting him.

  “I know you thought I didn’t give a shit.” He briefly massaged her nape. “That’s my fault. Derren used to poke fun at me for how much and how hard I watched you.”

  Shaya tried to hold back from asking, but the matter had been playing on her mind since Derren had mentioned it. “He said he owes you his life. Is that true?”

  “He owes me nothing. Maybe when he finds his mate, he’ll finally stop following me around.” Derren deserved that kind of happiness, but Nick wasn’t sure if his friend would even recognize his mate while his loyalty was so completely and unnecessarily devoted to Nick.

  Part of the reason that Derren was so grateful to him for being alive was that he had been completely determined to track down and kill the person responsible for him being locked up—it had been the only thing keeping Derren going while he was in juvie. Having heard his story, Nick had been able to understand why. That was why he had helped Derren track the bastard down—a bastard who was now very much dead. The problem was that it had made Derren feel even further indebted to Nick. Dumb asshole.

  She should leave it alone, Shaya knew. She should act disinterested. But as she was way too curious for that, she lasted only a few minutes before blurting out, “How did you save his life? In a pack war or something?”

  Nick inhaled deeply, hesitating to speak. He really didn’t want to tell her about his past, but he was already keeping so much from her. Telling her at least some things would be fair. Plus, being tight-lipped would lessen his chances of her letting him in. “When we were in juvie—”

  “You were in juvie?” Shaya practically squeaked.

  “—a group of human guards cornered him and were torturing him with electrical rods and Taser guns while at the same time beating the shit out of him. It looked like they intended to rape him too before finishing him off. That kind of thing happened a lot. Many shifters die in juvie. I intervened and stopped Derren from being one of those very unlucky shifters.”

  It took at least two minutes for her to recover from the surprise of his admission. It hadn’t just been what he’d said, it had also been the way he’d said it—emotionless, flat. But she knew better than to think that Nick was aloof about it all. She’d quickly come to understand that the more enraged Nick was, the more toneless his voice became. After giving him a few minutes to calm down, she finally asked, “How did you end up in juvie? What happened?” When he didn’t answer, she pressed him. “Nick?”

  “We’re here.” He pulled up outside the salon, relieved to be able to escape the conversation.

  Feeling like she’d been dismissed, both Shaya and her wolf bristled. If he wanted to be cagey, fine. Whatever. But, really, it wasn’t fine. Not simply because she was extremely intrigued, but because she wanted to know more about him. Wasn’t that her right?

  Realizing she was again being weird, she cursed herself. She shouldn’t be sulking because he hadn’t confided in her. This should be what she wanted. Sharing stories would counteract her effort to keep a distance between them. Trying for nonchalant, she shrugged. “I shouldn’t have asked. Your past is your business.” Before she could open the door, a hand was curling around her throat and turning her head slightly. At the dominant move, her wolf backed down a little.

  “I’m not disregarding you,” Nick told her in a low voice. “I just don’t want to scare you off. I don’t have pretty stories wrapped in red bows, Shay. I don’t have fun memories to exchange with you. I wish I did, but I don’t.” He drew circles on her throat with his thumb. “I meant it when I said you deserve better, but I also meant it when I said I wasn’t selfless enough to leave you alone. I can’t risk you running even faster than you already are.” As she nervously licked her bottom lip, a growl rumbled out of him. “Do you have any idea how much I want you? Any idea how much I want to know what’s like to be buried deep inside you?”

  At that moment, Shaya had that deer-in-the-headlights feeling. His strong hand was around her throat, tension was riding his body, and his hungry gaze was trained on her mouth—feeding the need that was twisting her insides. It occurred to her just how vulnerable she was—how easily he could hurt her, and just how badly he could hurt her. But he never would, she was certain of that.

  Before he lost control and kissed her, Nick released her throat and leaned back. “You need to go.”

  Swallowing hard, she nodded. “Thanks for the ride. Bye, Bruce.” The dog merely looked at her blankly.

  Once Shaya was inside the salon, Nick moved his gaze to the rearview mirror. Yep, the red Rolls-Royce was still a little distance behind Derren. The car had been following them for the past two minutes. Irritatingly, a white van was also following—the same white van that the human extremists used. Deeply suspecting that t
he Rolls-Royce was the Nazi’s car and that he had something to say, Nick drove away from the salon, not wanting him anywhere near Shaya. As he suspected, the Rolls-Royce followed him to the local park where Nick had yesterday taken Bruce. Similarly, so did the white van.

  As Nick parked in the small, half-empty parking lot at the edge of the park, Derren’s SUV took the space on his left, and the Rolls-Royce took the space opposite Nick’s car. The van pulled up a few cars away from the Rolls-Royce. As Nick got a glimpse of the driver of the van, he noticed the familiar profile. Logan. Fucker.

  Ignoring the two vehicles, Nick and Derren began walking along the narrow dirt path through the wooded area with Bruce at Nick’s side. A few minutes later, five wolf shifters came close enough to warrant a reaction—one of whom was the bald male shifter who had confronted Nick the day before. In response to the tension, Bruce growled at the strangers.

  “I don’t think he likes me very much,” said an olive-skinned male with deep-brown eyes. If Nick hadn’t vaguely recognized him, he would have known it was the Nazi by the dominant alpha vibes emitting from him. “But that’s fine. Not many do.” He looked hard at Nick, attempting to stare him down, to intimidate him into lowering his gaze. Like that would ever happen. “You attacked four of my wolves yesterday.”

  “They were irritating me,” said Nick dryly.

  “That made me very unhappy.”

  “As it’s your fault, you might want to take up that matter with yourself.”

  He laughed. “My fault?”

  “You ordered them to summon a wolf who is not only much more dominant than them, but an alpha. What did you expect would happen?”

  The amusement fled from his expression and tone. “I expected you to be smart enough to speak to me.”

  “I have no interest in you or your pack. But if it’s a brief conversation you want, we can have that now.”