Carnal Secrets

by Suzanne Wright

  They drove in a companionable silence, although occasionally he would look over at her and wait for her to meet his gaze as though he wanted to make sure her mind wasn’t elsewhere. It surprised her that although Nick had a strong, imposing personality and could be quite intense, she didn’t find his presence suffocating. If it wasn’t for the fact that she was trying so hard to keep him at a distance, Shaya might have felt relaxed around him.

  Arriving at the diner, Nick possessively shackled her wrist with his hand and kept her to his side as they strolled toward the entrance. The physical contact served to further uplift his wolf’s typically dark mood. She gave him an odd look and tested the strength of his hold. When his grip didn’t slacken, she sighed in surrender—as if indulging him was the easier thing to do in this instance. It was.

  Once they had placed their orders with the waitress, Shaya spoke. “What did you do with your morning?”

  Nick sat back in his seat opposite her and folded his arms across his chest. “First Derren and I went for a run in our wolf forms through the woods on the edge of town. After that we took Bruce for a walk in the local park. Then we had some fun losing the two wolves that the Nazi has following us.”

  Inwardly, Shaya shook her head in wonder at how even when he sat, he maintained a powerful stance—head up, chest out, gut sucked in, feet wide apart. Then what he’d said penetrated, and her eyes widened. “He has people following you?”

  Nick shrugged one shoulder. “I’m a stranger on his territory. He wanted to know what I was doing here.” He saw no need to worry her with talk about the game preserve. As long as the humans believed she was one of them, she was safe.

  “Maybe he’s worried you’ll help the rebels, organize them and make them into a proper pack. Will you?”

  “No. I told you: you’re more important to me than being in a pack.”

  “You expect me to believe that you don’t miss being Alpha? That you don’t miss your old territory and your family and friends? Your mom and sister have come to visit, but your brother’s still back there.”

  Nick raised a hand. “Three things. One, I never wanted to be Alpha. Two, my family is important to me, but so are you. Three, I don’t have friends.”

  She double-blinked in surprise. “What do you mean, you don’t have friends?”

  “Exactly what I said.”

  “Then what’s Derren?”

  “A pain in my ass. I told you, I don’t like company—except for yours, obviously.” He truly did enjoy being around her. His wolf, too, enjoyed it, even to the extent that he relaxed slightly when she was around.

  A shifter who didn’t like company…Yeah, that was definitely a new one. “You do know that’s weird, don’t you?”

  He shrugged. “I was never what you’d call social. But when I came out of juvie…I just didn’t feel like I could relate to other people. Derren, sure. But the others…they spent their teenage years going on dates, attending proms, and sneaking out to parties. I spent those years trying to stay alive in prison.”

  Her wolf growled at that idea, not liking it any more than Shaya did. He had spoken so matter-of-factly—there was no sense of him feeling sorry for himself, and that just made the whole thing even more heart-wrenching for her. “I’ve heard stories about what those places are like. Is it as bad as the stories say?”

  “Shifter juvie centers are inverted communities where the mayors are sick-minded prison guards who have taken your rights away and have total control of your life. But it’s not just them you have to worry about. There’s what you might call a ‘prisoner code’—break that, and you can be killed by your own kind. Fighting becomes a survival tool. The center that I went to…it wasn’t interested in rehabilitating us, wasn’t aiming to help us become well-adjusted adults. All it did was breed anger and hate and a hunger for vengeance. On the other hand, it’s a place that will teach you how to be street-smart, how to survive in the worst circumstances.” He gave her a grim smile. “Like I said, I don’t have pretty stories to tell you.”

  “Maybe I still want to hear them.”

  “So you can have more reasons to try to keep me away?” He shook his head. “You’re too important. I have to have you.”

  “You’re sure this isn’t simply pride, stubbornness, and possessiveness talking? After all, it comes with being an alpha and the mating urges. I mean, you almost attacked Dom—” She stopped as he leaned forward and put a finger to her lips.

  “Don’t say his name, Shay. You don’t know how hard it was not to kill the flirt.”

  She might have snapped at him for that comment if she hadn’t noticed a hint of pain in his eyes. The idea of her with Dominic had hurt him, she realized. Not just pricked at his possessive instincts. It had hurt him. Maybe she shouldn’t have cared, but then she remembered that Nick hadn’t dated anyone since first seeing her. He hadn’t even sought comfort from another female when he thought she was with Dominic, despite that pain and what must have felt like betrayal. “He’s just a friend. That’s all he ever was.”

  “I know. Your old packmate, Ryan, assured me of that.”

  “Ryan?”

  “I saw him with the flirt at a club one night. I think Ryan was worried that I was going to attack his packmate—which I was—so he told me the facts in an effort to instill some rationality into me. Ryan then said he’d hate to hurt Shaya’s mate, so if I could leave the flirt alone, that would be great. Still, hearing you say his name makes me want to bite you.” To mark her, remind her that she didn’t belong to Dominic, she belonged to him. “I think you’d like that.”

  Blushing and stifling her smile, she snapped, “Fuck you.”

  “What, you mean right now? In front of all these people? I guess I could.”

  She slapped his arm, and he laughed. Eager to change the subject, she said, “You need to make some friends. Whether you like company or not, it’s important to have friends.”

  “Why would I want friends when I have you?”

  “You don’t have me.”

  “I will. Do you want to know what makes me so sure of that? Because no other situation is acceptable to me.” His life had been a dull time without her. He didn’t want to go back to that. Even arguing with her made him feel alive. It was the strangest feeling to have his wolf in a bright mood, but that was what she did to him. “Nothing you say or do will make me give up. Like I said, you’re too important to me. The sooner you accept that, the happier we’ll both be.”

  The resolve in his tone and expression practically petted her wolf. Their food came then, and it seemed that Nick’s interest in chatting was over. With any normal person, it might have been because he was ready to tuck into his meal. But Nick wasn’t normal, and apparently what he really wanted was to up the level of sexual tension between them. If he wasn’t feeding her and then watching her chew as if riveted by the movement of her mouth, he was holding her hand and fiddling with it or nipping at her palm. In between all that, he would reach over and play with stray strands of her hair or snatch some of her fries, knowing she didn’t like to share her food. Then he tried playing footsie under the table, but after she lost her patience and stomped hard on his foot, they just ended up playfully kicking each other instead.

  Shaya had been shocked to find that she was actually enjoying herself. She spent more time laughing and smiling than blushing, which was no small thing, given the filthy thoughts traveling through her mind. Of course that smile faded somewhat when they walked to the car and found a human guy with cold eyes and a cocky countenance waiting there with two other males, his hateful gaze trained on Nick. She recognized them as some of the human extremists from the other night.

  She wasn’t surprised when Nick easily held the leader’s frosty gaze, not in the least bit intimidated. Nor was she surprised when he stood in front of her slightly in a very protective move. Derren seemed to appear out of absolutely nowhere on Nick’s other side, as expected. What did surprise her was that rage was radiating from both Nic
k and Derren. Sure, the humans were cruel and prejudiced, but this…this rage had a different source.

  The human smiled at Shaya, creeping her out. “It’s clear to me that you’re Nick’s girl. What’s not clear to me is whether or not you know he’s an animal.”

  “Being a shifter doesn’t make someone an animal,” she replied. Her wolf bared her teeth at him.

  “Oh, so you’re a shifter groupie.” The humans all laughed. “There sure are plenty of them roaming around.”

  She was about to correct him and declare that she was a half-shifter and proud to be, but then Nick took her hand and squeezed lightly. She understood the signal: He didn’t want them to know in case they targeted her. Neither did she but, dammit, this jabbed at her pride.

  “How can it not bother you that he’s inhuman? You’re a traitor to our race.”

  “And you’re a pedophile, a rapist, and a sadist…aren’t you, Logan?” said Derren, ending the sentence with a snap of his teeth. “You have a fondness for young boys, as I recall.”

  Shock crashed into Shaya as the implications of that comment settled in. Now she understood where Nick and Derren knew him from, just as she now understood the source of Nick’s and Derren’s rage. She also understood that if Logan had succeeded in abusing either Nick or Derren, they wouldn’t have allowed him to speak—he’d have been dead before he could blink. And she’d have looked on, clapping. Sick bastard.

  Logan’s attention shot to Derren. He narrowed his eyes, his expression nostalgic. “I should have known that his guard is you. You always did follow him around.”

  “So did you.” Derren cocked his head. “But you weren’t like the other guards at first, were you? No, in the beginning, you wouldn’t play a part in the torture that went on in that place. But then eventually you gave in, and you found that you liked it. But you hated that you liked it, hated that you enjoyed sick shit like that. A little voice in your head reminded you it was wrong. So it had to be someone else’s fault, didn’t it? It had to be the shifters’ fault that you got a hard-on for them, that you couldn’t stop. And that’s why you truly hate us—what you did to the shifters in that place made you see who you really are and how sick your desires are. The truth is, though, that you have the same desire to hurt humans, don’t you? The people who should be isolated from society are sick motherfuckers like you.”

  At this point, Logan had turned an odd shade of purple and looked close to hyperventilating. The other humans seemed uncomfortable and confused. “The laws will be put into place—make no mistake about that.”

  “Maybe they will,” said Nick. The only thing that stopped him from throwing accusations about the game preserve at Logan was that he didn’t want to make the people behind it nervous. If Logan was involved, he would tell them. “But you’ll still always be an evil bastard who lost his right to live a long time ago.”

  Both Shaya and her wolf shivered at the silky menace in Nick’s voice.

  “Now back the fuck off,” growled Nick. Very wisely, the humans returned to their van. They didn’t drive off, clearly intent on remaining on his tail.

  “No one who abuses another person, particularly a child, deserves to live,” stated Shaya firmly. “No one. But you can’t let him trick you into attacking him.”

  Nick stroked a hand over her hair. “I know. Don’t worry, I can be patient. Come on, let’s go—your lunch hour’s over, and you need to get back to work.”

  Once in the car and clicking on her seatbelt, Shaya tilted her head as she considered the situation. “So…you have two of the Nazi’s wolves watching you, human extremists are tracking you, and you also have the rebels hovering around you.”

  Nick smiled, though his mood was grim. Only Shaya could have made him smile right then. “I thought you wanted me to make friends.”

  “This isn’t in the least bit amusing. You have dangerous people on your ass.”

  His expression fierce, he assured her, “I won’t let them harm you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

  She rolled her eyes. “It’s you I’m worried about, Beavis.”

  Nick smiled again. “I knew you cared.”

  It was no surprise to Shaya when he later appeared at closing time to give her a ride home from work. She resisted, of course…though, if she was honest, she resisted more because she thought she should than because she wanted to. He played her well, using her own words against her that giving her a ride was totally innocent. He also did the whole “show me I’m making no difference” thing, too. The bastard was good at this.

  Minutes later, she was sliding into the passenger seat with a huff. Instantly, the delicious smell of Bolognese wrapped around her. He’d cooked for her. Again. Asshole. “You know, I’m perfectly capable of fending for myself,” she said when he joined her inside the car.

  “It doesn’t mean I can’t cook for you and make your evening simpler, does it?”

  “You already commandeered my lunch hour. Wasn’t that enough for you?”

  “Nope.”

  She shook her head. “You are so selfish.”

  “Not selfish, baby.” His expression was all innocence. “I just like things my way. As long as they are, I’m very reasonable and accommodating.”

  All she could do was growl. When they arrived at her house, it was to be greeted by the deafening noises coming from her neighbor’s place. Great. He was throwing another house party.

  “What the fuck is that?” asked Nick.

  “It’s Eric’s Friday-night ritual, though sometimes he has a party on a weeknight too.”

  “That’s not a house party. I’ve heard quieter concerts than that.” Outside the car, he asked, “Haven’t you said anything to him?” Not liking the odd look on her face, he pressed, “Shay?”

  Huffing, she replied, “Of course I’ve talked to him.” The first time it had happened, she’d nicely asked him if he could turn down the music. He’d said of course he could…but that he wouldn’t and she could fuck off—and all because she’d politely declined his offer of a date. So she’d argued with him a little, and usually Shaya was pretty good at negotiating with people. But this guy was determined to make her pay for being “stuck up” and rejecting him. He’d even spat at her.

  Shaya hadn’t done too well with that, and her response had been to dig out her baseball bat and attack his car; the amount of noise coming from the house meant he hadn’t even heard her. Naturally he’d turned up at her home the next day, automatically suspecting it was her. Naturally she’d denied it, as time in prison wasn’t appealing. Since he hadn’t been able to prove it was her, the police hadn’t acted.

  “And?” prodded Nick.

  “And nothing. He’s an ass to me.”

  “He’s an ass to you?”

  It turned out that telling him that had been an extremely bad move on her part, because then Nick was marching toward her neighbor’s house. She hurried after him. “Nick, just leave it.”

  “Leave it?” he scoffed without breaking stride. “Not a chance.”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “Of course it matters.” That kind of disturbance would be bad enough for human hearing. For shifter hearing, it was painful.

  “He’s doing this to get a reaction because I pissed him off by rejecting him and vandalizing his car. Don’t give him that reaction.”

  “You vandalized his car?” He’d bet that her beloved bat was involved.

  “It’s just a party.”

  “That’s not a party. That’s an attempt to aggravate you.”

  He was right about that. “Did you forget that two of Logan’s men are watching you?” The last thing she wanted was Nick being violent right now.

  In truth, for a few seconds, he actually had. “Not a problem. They’ll just assume we’re going to the party. And if they look to be suspicious, Derren will know to distract them.” Then Nick was marching up the driveway of her neighbor’s house.

  “Nick, for God’s sake, listen to me!” Bu
t he didn’t. Instead, he began pounding his fist on the front door. A few seconds later, the door swung open and a tall blonde dressed in…pretty much nothing was eying Nick like he was a snack. Shaya didn’t like that. So she growled. As if to reassure her, Nick closed his hand over hers.

  Keeping Shaya close, Nick pushed his way inside and closed the door behind him, not wanting the extremists to see anything. “Where’s Eric?” he asked the blonde.

  Looking suddenly nervous—though it didn’t seem to stop her from ogling Nick, which pissed Shaya the hell off—the blonde pointed down the hallway. “He’s in the kitchen.”

  With a tight hold on Shaya’s hand, Nick strode toward the kitchen. His expression must have been bad, because people parted to let him through as he advanced down the hallway. He’d gotten a glimpse of her neighbor a few times, so he knew exactly who he was looking for. No sooner had he spotted the guy than Nick was in front of him with his free hand curled around his throat.

  Shock took over Eric’s face, and his eyes bulged. “What the—”

  “Don’t speak. Just listen.”

  The chattering in the room suddenly stopped, and Shaya was pretty sure that if Nick had been anybody else, people would have intervened. But it was like Derren had once said: When Nick was angry, people paid attention. At that moment, he was absolutely livid, and only a fruit loop would have wanted Nick’s wrath shifted to them. Her wolf was feeling pretty smug about the whole thing, liked that her mate was protecting her; it was important to her to know that he could.

  “You can see Shaya beside me,” growled Nick. Eric’s eyes briefly flickered to her. “So I don’t think I need to explain why I’m here or why I’d like to snap your neck, do I?”

  Eric did what was typical of any bully—he stood down the second someone stronger than him confronted him. Rather than fighting Nick’s grip, he stayed very still. “No.”