Tangled Up in You

by Samantha Chase

  As if Teagan had anything else to do.

  Okay, that wasn’t completely true. Her get-ready-for-school list had been long, but she was organized, and it hadn’t turned out to be that hard to do.

  Fine, she was totally ahead of schedule and was now bored out of her mind. So the invitation to dinner at Quinn and Anna’s had been a godsend.

  “Hope you’re hungry!” Quinn said with a big smile when he walked into the kitchen, kissing Teagan on the cheek. “We’ve got burgers, corn on the cob, potato salad, and mac and cheese.”

  “Mac and cheese?” Anna asked. “Since when?”

  “Since Brian and I decided we wanted some,” he said with a wink. “Hey, is Bobby joining us?”

  At the sound of his name, Teagan’s heart squeezed. Since getting back from Myrtle Beach five days ago, she hadn’t told anyone about what had happened between them. She couldn’t. And not a day—hour, or even a minute—had gone by where she wasn’t thinking about it.

  Or obsessing about it, whatever.

  “Uh…no,” she answered. “He’s not in town.”

  “Oh,” Quinn said with a shrug before turning and heading toward the sliding glass doors. “I’ll light the grill and stay with the kids out back.”

  “And I guess I’m making mac and cheese,” Anna murmured.

  “Anything I can do to help?”

  Handing Teagan a glass of lemonade, Anna replied, “Nah. Just sit and talk to me. I’ve been home all week with the kids because Brian’s been upset whenever I leave to go to the pub. I had to hire another server to help cover my hours.”

  “Oh, that’s too bad. You’ve said how much you enjoyed getting out of the house for a few hours a week.”

  She nodded. “I really do, but he’s got some separation anxiety. The pediatrician said it’s normal and it’s partly because I’m leaving and partly because of Bailey.” Anna shrugged.

  “Really?”

  She explained, “He’s not the baby anymore, so he’s already getting a little less attention. Add to that the fact that I would leave before he went to bed and he wasn’t sure when I’d be back, so…Quinn and I talked about it. For now, we’re just going to deal with me being a stay-at-home mom.”

  “Wow. And you’re okay with it?”

  “At first I wasn’t, but that lasted for all of three minutes.” She smiled. “I love my kids and they mean the world to me. So if they need me here with them a little more, then that’s what I’ll do.”

  Teagan knew exactly what she meant. There wasn’t anything she wouldn’t do for Lucas.

  “Anyway, enough about me,” Anna said. “Talk to me about you. Are you ready for school? Is Lucas?”

  “He is so excited. I know I am going to cry like a baby that first day.”

  “You’ll be right there with him. Literally. You’re working in his school! You can see him anytime you want.”

  “I know, I know. But it’s just the fact that he’s not a baby anymore,” Teagan said with a sad smile. “This is only the beginning, and it’s been just the two of us for so long. I kind of hate to think about him not needing me as much.”

  “He’s always going to need you, that’s never going to change.” Anna placed a pot of water on the stove and turned it on. “Although there will come a day when it will be my baby going—and by baby I mean Bailey, because she’s it for us—and I’m sure I’ll feel the same way.”

  “You’re not nervous about Kaitlyn going to school?”

  Anna shook her head and grinned. “Are you kidding? I’m thrilled! I had no idea how much the dynamic would change when we went from two kids to three. I’m looking forward to having only two kids at a time again, for at least part of the day.”

  Teagan felt a pang of envy she hadn’t felt in a long time. After having grown up as an only child, she had always thought she would have more of her own. That she wouldn’t do that to any child of hers. What would it be like if Lucas had a younger brother or sister? Or both? She gave herself a snort of disapproval.

  Hard to consider having more kids when you don’t get involved with anyone.

  Then she wanted to shout back at her inner voice and remind herself how she had gotten involved with someone—someone she’d really thought she had a future with, but it didn’t work out.

  “Damn, whatever it is you’re thinking about has made your face go all scrunchy,” Anna said, sitting down beside her. “Want to talk about it?”

  Did she?

  “Okay, I promised myself I wasn’t going to bring this up, but…who am I kidding? I have to,” Anna said with a small laugh. “What happened with my brother?”

  Her eyes went wide. “What do you mean?”

  The look Anna gave her told her she wasn’t fooled.

  So Teagan completely unloaded, sharing everything that had happened over the weekend. Everything from the great time they’d had, to the concert, the shooting—and finally the realization that Bobby’s job wasn’t something she could handle.

  “I know it doesn’t make me a very nice person,” she said after a minute. “As he pointed out to me, I knew exactly what he did for a living when we met. It just wasn’t until after the shooting Saturday night that it really hit me and…I panicked.”

  “And now? Are you still panicked?”

  She shrugged. “Yes. No.” She sighed loudly. “Honestly, I don’t know. The only thing I do know is that I can’t go there again. Not even for Bobby.”

  “Teagan—”

  “No, Anna. It’s true. I…can’t. Lucas never met his father, and he never will. But he knows Bobby and adores him. How can I possibly expose Lucas to a life where he would have to know that fear? Or worse, find out how painful it is to lose someone he loves?”

  Anna studied her for a moment. “Okay, I get it. Believe me, we all feel that way about his job, and for the most part, it hasn’t been an issue. But there are risks every single day for all of us. When Quinn used to race cars, do you have any idea how many accidents he was in? I swear I think I aged a hundred years every time I would watch him race!”

  “But he stopped before he got hurt, Anna,” she argued. “Quinn didn’t get hurt and then go back to it.”

  “Okay, okay. I get what you’re saying,” Anna began carefully, “but what about Lillian?”

  “Aunt Lily?”

  She nodded. “Do you think for one minute anyone expected her to die like that? It was an accident! An awful, horrible accident. And you know what? We can’t live our lives in fear of what may or may not happen, because that’s not living.”

  All Teagan could do was nod. Her throat was clogged with emotion and she knew what Anna was saying was right, but it didn’t make things any easier. Her head could agree but her heart couldn’t.

  Then, to her embarrassment, she started to tear up.

  “Dammit,” Anna muttered before hugging her. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. The last thing I wanted to do was make you cry.”

  “The grill’s—” Quinn stopped short when he spotted them. “What’s going on?” He was instantly next to them. He took one look at Teagan and crouched down beside her. “Hey, you okay?”

  “She and Bobby broke up,” Anna said. “And then I wouldn’t let it go and now—”

  He was instantly on his feet and storming out of the room.

  “That can’t be good,” Teagan said, wiping away her tears. “Maybe I should go talk to him.”

  Before either of them could do anything, Quinn stormed back into the kitchen with his car keys in his hands. “The grill is ready. I’ll be back later.”

  “Quinn! Stop!” Anna cried before he could leave the room. “Where do you think you’re going?”

  “To talk to your brother,” he said heatedly. “Someone needs to set him straight!”

  “There’s nothing for you to straighten out, Quinn,” Teagan said, com
ing to her feet. “I’m the one who broke things off with him. Bobby didn’t do anything wrong. I swear.”

  Some of the fight seemed to leave him. “Well, shit.” Quinn tossed his keys on the counter and let out a long breath. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  She nodded. “I’m not great, but…I’m tougher than I look.”

  He stared at her for a minute and grimaced. “I still want to go and kick his ass.”

  “And I appreciate that,” she said with a small smile, “but it’s completely unnecessary.”

  “Well, I need to do something!” he exclaimed. She really did appreciate how he was hurting for her.

  “How about this—grill me a big, fat burger, and don’t judge me when I have seconds on everything and eat at least two brownies. Deal?”

  He laughed and hugged her. “Deal.”

  Two nights later, Teagan wasn’t feeling much better. If anything, her nerves were more than a little frayed. Lucas had begun asking about Bobby. “When is Bobby coming over?” and “Why can’t we go visit Bobby?” which was usually followed by “It’s not fair that you got to go to Bobby’s house, and I didn’t.” She was exhausted and could feel her patience coming to an end.

  She was just about to start making dinner when her doorbell rang.

  “Please be pizza, please be pizza,” she murmured as she walked to the door. Pulling it open, she stared in stunned silence for a moment. “Mom? What are you doing here?”

  Catherine Shaughnessy smiled and kissed her daughter on the cheek before walking in with an armload of grocery bags. Teagan was about to repeat herself when her father walked in.

  “How’s my girl today?” he asked, kissing her on the other cheek before following his wife.

  “Um…did we have plans tonight?”

  “We sure didn’t,” her mom said. “But your father and I were talking earlier and he mentioned how it’s been a while since he and Lucas had a boys’ night out. He thought tonight would be the perfect night for it.” She began unloading the bags. “So I figured it could be fun for us to have a girls’ night!”

  Fun wasn’t quite the word Teagan would have used.

  “I think Lucas and I are going to go bowling and have some pizza,” her father said on his way to the yard, where her son was playing. “Then we’ll go home, put on pj’s, eat too much ice cream and candy, and watch one of those Pixar movies until we both fall asleep on the couch.”

  “Dad!” she called after him, but he wasn’t listening. Turning to her mother, she said, “I don’t think that’s a good idea at all.”

  “Oh, stop. I think it’s sweet he wants to do this. He misses us having Lucas over. Between our traveling and your relationship with Bobby, well… We had a great time with Lucas last weekend and realized it had been a while since he did anything with just the two of them.”

  “But you just said you had him over last weekend,” Teagan reminded her. “He didn’t have to rush over again so soon. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of my son, you know!”

  She didn’t even need to look at her mother’s face to know she was sounding a little defensive and crazy. “Sorry.”

  Rather than say anything, her mother continued to unpack bags and start pulling out pots and pans.

  “Mom! Mom! Did you hear? Pops is gonna take me bowling! We’re having a boys’ night!” Lucas cried as he ran into the house and straight to his room. Her father followed a minute later.

  “I don’t think he needs to pack anything. We have clothes and pajamas for him at the house. I think he’s just grabbing his soccer ball. He wants to practice for the next time Bobby’s here.”

  Don’t snap at anyone, she told herself.

  Forcing a smile to her face, she said, “That’s great. Between bowling and soccer, he’ll be asleep before the opening credits of any movie,” she said lightly.

  Within minutes, her father and Lucas were gone and her mother was pounding some boneless chicken breasts. Curious, Teagan walked over to inspect the other ingredients on the counter.

  Bread crumbs, eggs, spaghetti, parmesan cheese, mozzarella cheese, olive oil, a container of homemade sauce, and a bottle of wine.

  “We’re making chicken parm?” she asked.

  Nodding, Catherine continued to work. “I was craving it and your father wasn’t. How I married a man who doesn’t love Italian food is beyond me.”

  Teagan laughed. It had been a long-running joke in their family because her mother was Italian and her father was Irish. For her entire life, the only Italian food her father ever wanted was pizza.

  “His loss,” she said and then walked over to wash her hands. “What can I do to help?”

  “Get the sauce into a pan and let’s get it simmering. I made it yesterday and you know it always tastes better—”

  “The second day,” Teagan finished for her. They laughed and began working side by side to make their meal. Soon the chicken was frying, the sauce was simmering, and the whole place smelled wonderful. After washing her hands again, she pulled two wineglasses down from her cabinet and poured them both a glass of wine.

  “To girls’ night,” her mother said.

  “To girls’ night.”

  They each sipped before Catherine removed the chicken from the pan and began to prep it to go in the oven. Teagan put on the pot of water for their spaghetti and set the timer before they both sat down at the table.

  “Okay, now that dinner’s cooking, why don’t you tell me what’s really up,” Teagan said. “We’ve never done a girls’ night, and Dad hates watching kids’ movies. So spill it.”

  With a mild huff, her mother put her glass down. “I had lunch with Mary Hannigan yesterday.”

  Doing her best not to react, Teagan nodded and waited.

  “Bobby didn’t get clearance to go back to work on patrol, only in a desk position,” Catherine said, “and he’s devastated. Mary thought I knew all that, since the two of you have been dating. But when I said it was the first I was hearing of it, we got a little suspicious.”

  It was on the tip of Teagan’s tongue to ask for more information, but she refrained.

  “Anyway, we were talking and then Anna called, so Mary asked her if she knew anything and she said the two of you broke up!” She shook her head. “How could you keep something like that to yourself, Teagan?”

  “Because I’m still trying to come to grips with it myself,” she said with just a hint of defiance. “And all I said to Bobby was that I needed time to think.”

  “But…?”

  “But the more I thought about it, the more I realized it didn’t matter how long I thought about it. It wasn’t going to change anything.”

  “Oh, sweetheart. I had no idea you were struggling with this!” Reaching over, she took one of Teagan’s hands and squeezed. “I’m glad I came over tonight.”

  That sounded both sweet and ominous.

  Before she could comment, her mother was up and adding spaghetti to the pot of boiling water and checking the tray of chicken in the oven. Without being asked, Teagan grabbed dishes to set the table while they made small talk that had nothing at all to do with either Bobby or the breakup.

  That all started up again after they each took their first bite of dinner ten minutes later.

  “So what do you need to think about?” her mother asked casually.

  “Where do I even begin?” It was pointless to try to avoid the topic or play dumb. She was going to have to get used to talking about it, no matter how much it hurt.

  “I would imagine at the beginning.”

  “Not helping, Mom.”

  Placing her fork down, Catherine reached for her wineglass but didn’t drink. “Do you remember how much we moved around when you were younger?”

  Weird change of topic, but okay…

  Teagan nodded.

  “Do you rem
ember what you used to say to me every time we had to pick up and move?”

  “I hated it,” she said. “I always told you how much I hated moving away and leaving my friends.”

  “And what else?”

  Oh. That. “That I would never do that to my kids.” She paused. “Which I haven’t, so I don’t know where you’re going with this.”

  “It wasn’t just the moving, Teagan. You hated military life. Those last few times your father deployed—we would talk about it, remember?”

  She did.

  “You were so passionate about it,” her mother went on. “That’s why I never understood why you started dating Logan.”

  “We lived in a military town, Mom. Any guy there was either already in the military or on his way in. What choice did I have?”

  Catherine laughed. “Sweetie, you went away to college and met plenty of nonmilitary men. Of that I am sure.”

  “Yeah, well, it didn’t matter. I fell in love with Logan. End of story.”

  “Well, not really.”

  Teagan’s fork clanked down onto her plate. “What is it you’re getting at?”

  “I’m going to say something, Teagan, and I want you to listen and not react.”

  “I can’t guarantee that.”

  “Try,” Catherine said firmly. Then, after a steadying breath, she fixed her serious gaze on her daughter. “I don’t doubt that you fell in love with Logan. He was a very nice young man, handsome, and he treated you very well.” She paused. “But I don’t think he was the great love of your life.”

  Denial was right there waiting to be spewed, but she held it in and mentally counted to ten. Clearing her throat, she asked, “Why would you say that?”

  Catherine sipped her wine before responding. “For starters, you both seemed more like good friends than lovers.”

  “Mom!”

  “What? It’s true! You were never overly concerned about the relationship while you were away at school, you always seemed fairly casual—almost blasé—when you talked about any plans the two of you made for when you were both home.” She shrugged. “I think if Logan had lived, you would have married him and it would have been comfortable. But it wouldn’t have been a great love story.”