Herd to Breathe

by Amelia C. Adams

  She smoothed down the front of her new peach blouse, happy she’d been able to find it at the mercantile that morning. She really wanted to buy some fabric and make her own clothes, but it would take a few days to churn out something remotely nice, and she’d wanted something fresh that day to signal the start of her new life.

  At last she heard the clip-clop of horse hooves outside, and she looked out through the lace curtains to see Captain Spencer bringing his carriage to a stop. He helped the little girls down to the ground, and they ran up the front walk as though they were going to a birthday party and not to another long session of learning.

  She opened the door for them so they wouldn’t have to knock, then stood there, bemused, as they told her everything they’d seen on the short ride from the schoolhouse.

  “I’m sorry about that,” Captain Spencer said, coming up the walk behind them. “They’re always so full of energy when they get done with school—they could talk the hind leg off a hyena if they were allowed to get close enough to one.”

  Cina laughed. “I don’t mind at all. I’ve missed the chatter of children. Please, come inside.”

  She showed her little pupils and their father into the parlor, and the girls immediately made their way over to the small table she’d set up for them with books and slates. They each picked up a book and began to flip through the pages, giving Cina a moment to speak with the captain.

  “Tell me some things about them,” she said. “What are their interests?” This was a question she would normally pose to the mother, but as Mrs. Spencer wasn’t there, she’d see what she could learn from the father and then meet up with the mother next time.

  “Madeline is interested in art, and Summer would love to learn an instrument,” the captain replied. “They’re both excellent readers, as I’m sure you surmised, but they’re both a little behind in math.”

  Madeline looked up from her book. “Mr. Parnell says I’m hopeless.”

  “Who’s Mr. Parnell?” Cina asked.

  “He’s our teacher, and he says I can’t do math, but that it’s probably all right because I’m just a girl.”

  Cina turned to the captain, a forced smile on her face. “This is what the teacher is telling the students? That girls don’t need to learn math?”

  “This is actually the first I’ve heard of it,” he replied.

  She gestured for him to step over into the corner so they could speak without upsetting the girls. “That type of belief is so insidious, so pervasive, that it’s infected almost every school in the nation,” she said, her voice low. “We no longer live in the days of Amy March being punished for her pickled limes, Captain—those days should be behind us, with good riddance, and we should be educating our girls just as well as our boys.”

  “Yes, we should be,” he replied. “And women shouldn’t have to take on men’s names if they want to publish, either.”

  She smiled. “You’ve read Little Women.”

  “I have. As soon as Madeline was born, my mother put a copy in my hands and told me that if I wanted to be a good papa, I should know that book inside and out. I did want to be a good papa, so I read it at once—and enjoyed it, too.”

  Something stirred in the middle of Cina’s chest, but she ignored it. “What lucky girls you have,” she said instead.

  “Apparently, they aren’t so lucky if their teacher doesn’t believe in their ability to do math. We have a rather unusual situation, Miss Fairbanks. Because I’m in the military, we’ve moved around a lot, and at times we’ve lived several miles away from a town. Because of that, I hired a tutor for the girls, and truthfully, until we moved here, they’ve never attended school with other children. I thought it would be a good experience for them to attend now, and they are enjoying their new friends, but they’re not used to the traditional classroom setting.”

  “That would be quite an adjustment. I’m sure it won’t take much longer, though—they’re so bright and friendly.”

  “Yes, they are. Thank you for seeing that so quickly.” He shook his head. “I don’t know what to do. Should I go down to the school and have a talk with that teacher? He can’t think he’s doing right by the students with this sort of attitude.”

  “Why don’t you hold off for just now? Let’s see where the girls actually are with their math, and then we’ll see what needs to be done.”

  He nodded. “All right. I’ll look forward to hearing what you think. If you don’t mind, I’ll head over to the mercantile and pick up a few supplies while you’re working with the girls this afternoon.”

  “Of course I don’t mind. We’ll get along well.”

  He gave her another nod, then stepped out of the house, pulling the door closed behind him.

  Cina straightened her shoulders, determined not to think about him a moment longer. As they’d spoken, she’d begun to feel attracted toward him, and that was the last thing in the world she wanted or needed. It was just the fact that he’d read Little Women to prepare for fatherhood. There was something undeniably sweet about that, but she had no right to dwell on it.

  She crossed the room and sat down next to the girls. “Well, now it’s just us. Tell me about your school.”

  Madeline set her book down and studied Cina with a serious look on her face. “We go there right after breakfast, and then Daddy picks us up when we’re done. The days are very long.”

  “Very long,” Summer asserted.

  “What sorts of things do you do at school?” Cina asked, trying not to smile. They were so solemn, she knew she needed to be taking this seriously too.

  “We talk about the world. Our teacher has a world this big.” Summer held up her hands to indicate the size of a globe.

  “And we read, but not all of us,” Madeline added. “Some of the children are too little to read.”

  “And we talk about so many things. Sometimes I want to go to sleep.” Summer shook her head. “School’s very long.”

  Cina chuckled. “School does take a long time, doesn’t it? But you do learn so many things.”

  “Except math.” Summer shook her head again. “We can’t learn math.”

  “Yes, you certainly can, and I’m going to help you,” Cina replied. She picked up one of the few schoolbooks she’d brought with her from Florida and turned to the front. “We’re going to look over this book together, and you can tell me what you know and what you don’t know.”

  She spent a very enjoyable fifteen minutes figuring out where the girls were in math, then moved on to some other subjects. By the time Captain Spencer returned, she knew exactly how she wanted to proceed with each of them.

  “The girls and I had a wonderful time,” she told him as she ushered him back into the parlor. “They’re so polite and respectful.”

  “And what did you learn about their studies?” he asked, glancing over at them with a worried look on his face. “How behind are they?”

  “Not one lick,” she replied. “I don’t know what schoolbooks Mr. Parnell is using, but according to mine, they’re exactly where they’re supposed to be.”

  The captain exhaled. “That’s a relief, Miss Fairbanks. The last year has been difficult, what with the move and everything else, and I was worried that I’d done them some harm by uprooting them.”

  “Even if they were behind, it wouldn’t be hard to get them caught up,” Cina said. “Children excel when they’re able to move at their own pace instead of that of the whole class.”

  “Thank you, Miss Fairbanks. Your efforts today have taken quite a load off my mind.” He looked over at his daughters, who were curled up together on the couch with more books. “Girls, are you ready?”

  “Do we have to leave, Daddy? I like it here,” Summer said.

  He glanced at Cina, a question in his eyes, and she nodded, somehow knowing what he wanted. “You’ll be coming back every day after school, all right?” he said. “Miss Fairbanks is going to help keep an eye on your schooling.”

  “Really?” Both g
irls jumped up and ran over to Cina, wrapping their arms around her waist, and her eyes immediately filled with tears. She’d missed the hugs of little children.

  The captain chuckled. “I think they like the idea.”

  “I think you’re right, and I like it too.” Cina gave each girl a quick hug. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “I’ll have them here around the same time,” the captain promised. “Unless . . .”

  “Yes? What is it?”

  He rubbed his jaw. “This is a horrible imposition, Miss Fairbanks, and I wouldn’t ask it under ordinary circumstances, but I’m supposed to be meeting with some visiting dignitaries tomorrow, and I don’t know how my schedule will run. Would you be able to meet them at the school and bring them here? It’s not far—only a few blocks. I just don’t want them walking alone in a new town.”

  “I’d be more than happy to, Captain. In fact, why don’t we plan on that every day? Then you can work until it’s time to collect them for supper.”

  She could tell the idea was a good one—his shoulders relaxed noticeably. “Thank you, Miss Fairbanks. That’s a very generous offer, and I accept.”

  “To be honest, I could use a little exercise, and I’d enjoy the walk.”

  “We’ll plan on it, then. Thank you, and I’ll see you here tomorrow afternoon when I pick up the girls.”

  He touched his hat, and the three of them left, taking all the light from the room with them.

  It didn’t surprise Cina at all that she already felt attached to the girls. She’d always bonded with her students quickly—it was part of what made her job so rewarding. What concerned her, though, was the fact that she and the captain seemed to understand each other so well. She’d never fallen into such easy conversation with a man before, and yet she felt as though they could talk about anything. It was the kind of friendship she’d always wanted, but she shouldn’t be making friends with a married man. She’d ask him the next day when she could meet Mrs. Spencer. If she got to know both of them at the same time, she’d have two friends instead of one, and everything would be much more appropriate.

  “Cina, come tell us about your little girls,” Adeline called out as Cina passed by the kitchen. Alice, Adeline, Helena, and Abigail were all gathered around the table, chattering away. Cina wanted to freshen up before Mr. Gray arrived, but a glance at the clock told her she had a few minutes, so she changed direction and joined the girls at the table. They had a pot of chamomile tea in front of them, and a plate of cookies.

  “These look good,” she said, helping herself to one after she sat down.

  “Thanks. I had to sneak past Mr. McGruder to do it, though,” Alice said. “He guards this kitchen like it’s made of gold.”

  “I can’t really blame him,” Helena said. “He cooked for Mr. Redburn for years—it’s his rightful place.”

  “I suppose. I just wish he’d consider sharing it a bit more.” Alice nodded toward the plate. “We need to hurry and eat the evidence before he gets back. I already washed the dishes so he wouldn’t know.”

  “Where’s everyone else?” Cina asked.

  “They’re off doing things with their beaus,” Helena replied. “I have to say, this process is going a little differently than I imagined. Better in some ways, and more awkward in others.”

  The other girls nodded. Cina certainly understood what her friend meant—she’d had that thought herself.

  “So, the little girls,” Adeline said. “You’re tutoring them?”

  “I am. Aren’t they adorable? They’ll be coming over here every afternoon—unless it interferes with courting. Mr. Redburn made that a condition of the arrangement.”

  “And their father? Is he your match? I don’t remember seeing him at the dance,” Abigail said.

  “Oh, no—he’s not my match,” Cina said. “He’s married—I met him at the mercantile, and he doesn’t have anything to do with Redburn Matchmaking. My match is Darius Gray. He’s the accountant—he’ll be here soon to pick me up.”

  “I remember him,” Helena said. “He’s rather nice-looking, isn’t he? On the quiet side?”

  “Yes, very much on the quiet side. I keep trying to think of ways to get him to talk more, but I haven’t had any luck yet.”

  “Well, that’s why I thought the girls’ father was your match—you seemed to be getting along quite well.” Abigail picked up a cookie, then set it back down. “Why don’t you take the rest of these on your ride with Mr. Gray? I can’t eat another bite, and we’ve already put some on each girls’ dresser.”

  Cina chuckled. If they were carrying cookies all over the house, she didn’t think they were keeping them that much of a secret from Mr. McGruder. “Sure, I’ll take some. I don’t actually know if Mr. Gray likes cookies, but we’ll find out.” Just another indication of how very little they’d actually spoken about things so far. Of course, food preferences didn’t always come up first thing during a courtship, but it seemed that she should know more than she did.

  Alice tied the cookies up in a cloth, and Cina whisked it away to her room so she could finish getting ready. She had found a place in the parlor to keep the schoolbooks, so she wouldn’t be bothered carrying those up and down the stairs every day—getting ready was more a matter of smoothing her hair and making sure she didn’t have cookie crumbs on her bodice.

  She couldn’t help but think about what Abigail had said—yes, she was getting along with the captain quite well, and if the other girls were noticing it, that meant it was obvious. She would definitely request to meet Mrs. Spencer the next day. She couldn’t put it off.

  When Mr. Gray arrived, he seemed in a rather good mood, and he accepted the bundle of cookies with a smile. “These will make a nice snack as we drive,” he said, offering his elbow to escort her out to the carriage. “I picked up Mrs. Woods on the way here—she’s one of the members of the ladies’ auxiliary Chance asked to chaperone the courting couples. She’s waiting in the buggy.”

  “It’s very kind of her to donate her time like this,” Cina said.

  “She lectured me the whole way here about observing the rules of propriety and what she expects from us. She suspects me of having unscrupulous designs on you and has told me what will happen if I try to follow through.”

  “Oh? What will happen?”

  “She has brought along an umbrella with a pointed tip.”

  Cina laughed. She couldn’t help it.

  “You don’t think that’s funny, do you?” He paused in the middle of the walkway and scowled at her.

  “I do, actually, but as long as you don’t follow through with these unscrupulous plans of yours, you should be fine.” Gracious. Couldn’t he see the humor in the situation?

  When they reached the carriage, Cina looked inside and found a tiny little woman with bright eyes peeking out from beneath her hat. “Mrs. Woods? I’m Cina Fairbanks. Thank you for coming with us today.”

  “It’s my pleasure, my dear. Someone needs to keep an eye on the younger generation and protect them from the foibles of their day.” Mrs. Woods patted the seat beside her. “Climb in and hold on. This fellow likes to drive fast.”

  Cina saw that Mrs. Woods meant to sit between her and Mr. Gray. She climbed inside and arranged her skirts. “You’re a member of the ladies’ auxiliary, I understand?”

  “Yes, there are several of us who meet weekly and undertake charitable causes. Such as this with Mr. Redburn. Can you imagine—ten young women being matched to ten men, and not a chaperone to be seen? Thank goodness we’re on hand. Who knows what might happen otherwise.”

  Cina tried to hide her smile as she glanced over at Mr. Gray. He’d taken his seat and picked up the reins, his lips pressed together in a thin line. “Where are we going, Mr. Gray?”

  “I thought we’d take a drive to a pretty little meadow I know. There’s a variety of wildflowers that grow there, as well as several sorts of birds. It’s quite lovely in the spring.”

  “That sounds nice.” Cina tur
ned to Mrs. Woods. “I brought cookies.”

  “Oh, good. We’ll make a picnic of it.”

  Mr. Gray flicked the reins, and they started forward with a jolt. That was a bit jarring, but beyond that, Cina didn’t know why Mrs. Woods felt he was a fast driver. She found the pace irritatingly slow, and she wondered if he was doing that just to appease the older lady or if this was his regular speed.

  “How was your day?” Cina asked Mr. Gray.

  “It was tolerable enough. I helped a couple consolidate their holdings into one account.”

  She had no idea what that meant, but she imagined she could learn. “Is that something you do often?”

  “Oh, I wouldn’t say that, but it’s not uncommon.”

  All right—she’d try again. “What do you handle most often?”

  “Generally, I help businesses create budgets and analyze their expenditures versus their income, tracking labor costs and overhead to maximize their profits.” Mr. Gray turned the carriage onto a road that seemed little more than two ruts.

  “So, you help them make sure they’re not spending more than they’re making,” Cina said for clarification.

  “Yes, exactly.”

  “Well, why on earth didn’t you just say that?” Mrs. Woods asked, sounding exasperated. “It’s like you’re purposely trying to confuse the young lady.”

  “I’m sorry. I forget that not everyone understands the language of business.”

  “I understood it perfectly well, but it would be nice to talk about it less formally. We’re courting, after all, not drawing up a new business arrangement.”

  “Maybe he thinks it’s the same thing,” Mrs. Woods whispered to her a bit too loudly.

  Cina had to turn her face away to hide her smile. She’d been hoping for something to happen that would shake Mr. Gray up a little, and Mrs. Woods might be just the thing.

  “You’re right, ladies. Both of you,” Mr. Gray said. “I could be less formal when I’m not in the office, and I’ll make a greater effort at that. The truth is, I’m at the office so much that I forget there’s another side to life.”