by C. A. Harms
His jaw muscles tick, and I don't stick around to find out what might happen next. Instead, I spin around and hurry to the car with my friends following close behind. After we all pile inside and the car slowly pulls away, I rest my head back against the seat and close my eyes. Releasing the breath, I felt like I've been holding for hours.
"What in the hell was that all about?" Adley asks, and the car then falls silent.
"I have no idea," I whisper, my throat feeling hoarse and my chest growing so tight it's painful to take a breath. But whatever it is, I feel like this is just the beginning, which terrifies me.
"All I do know is that big brother O'Shay doesn't seem to like the fact that you and little O'Shay are close." Adley says. I cringe as I replay the words he said in my mind.
You're not mine to have.
"So, tomorrow could be entertaining." I roll my eyes and ignore Adley's words; after all, she isn't entirely wrong.
I feel like the ground is falling out from beneath my feet, and there is nothing to grab hold of to stop me from plummeting.
Chapter Twelve
Brantley
* * *
"There's an apartment downstairs that's vacant," Rory tosses me a beer and sits down in the opposite recliner to mine. "It's small, a one-bedroom, but you don't need anything big right now."
"I'll grab the number on our way out." My head is a little fucked up as I stare at the television, not seeing what is playing on the screen.
"What's going on with you?" Rory asks, and I pop the top off the bottle and take a drink before looking at him. "Let me rephrase that; what the hell happened last night between you and Tink?"
"Fucking stupid ass name," I mumble. I have never in my life been at odds with my brother. I've stood by his side right or wrong, I've backed him no matter what, but right now, my head is screwed up. I'm hating on Bennett for no real reason, and that alone is driving me out of my mind. He didn't do a damn thing wrong, but right now, I feel like he is the only thing standing in the way of something I desperately want.
"Do you hate it because your brother gave the nickname to her, or because you hate it?"
Lowering my beer, I look over at my best friend. I want to argue with him but can't because it's true. "I almost kissed her," I confess, my chest growing tight instantly. "I wanted to, more than I've wanted anything in a long time."
"Brant, this shits gonna get ugly," Rory's seen ugly; hell, the guy goes through it daily. First, he got wrapped up with a girl he thought could be the forever kind, but she was more of a one-night thing. Then, when she got pregnant, his life changed and fast. Now he's got a little boy he only gets to see every other weekend and every Wednesday night, and it kills him.
"This is Bennett, not some random guy that likes the girl. It's your brother, and no, they may not be a thing, but I've seen him with her; he cares about her. He's too damn stubborn to risk their friendship, and I know that should mean she's game for another guy, but I think we both know that guy can't be you."
"You don't think I know that." It's the one thing that pisses me off the most. "Had I showed up a week ago, and they were together, I would have congratulated my little brother for getting the dream girl, and that would have been it. Yeah, I would have been pissed and ready to tear someone up on the inside, but I'd accept Ben got the girl. But knowing that she's right there, within reach, and I can't grab ahold of her, it drives me fucking insane."
"Maybe we should skip this lake thing," I know he's right; hell, I'd thought the same thing myself. But I'm an ass and not wired that way. Knowing she'll be there and I'm here avoiding her isn't my style.
"Maybe I should just tell Bennett I'm attracted to her."
"Bad idea," he leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees, "Really bad idea." He stands and kicks my leg off the coffee table. "Besides, Sutton isn't the only female that'll be there today. Who knows, maybe you'll see someone else that interests you."
I let him walk away, already knowing that he's wrong. The very second, I saw Sutton walking toward me at the bar, I felt that same instant attraction from earlier that day. Those pouty lips being the first addiction, and then from there, fuck, everything just soared. One damn touch, and I felt more alive than I had in years.
Now that I've felt that, how do I let it go?
"This is Adley and Lexi, which you've met already." Marshall points to each of the girls as he proceeds to introduce them. "Over here, we have Kendall and Jillian." He lingers a little longer on Jillian than the rest, and I don't need to dig further to know there's something there. Especially the way she looks at him and grins.
"Looks like Sophie and Sutton aren't here yet," Marshall adds, and I'd already picked up on her absence. Not to mention my brother isn't here yet either, and that left me feeling a bit irritated with the idea that the two of them are probably together.
"Don't worry, big guy; she'll be here soon. She decided to wait for Sophie to get done with a therapy session she had this morning. Then she has to stop by Bennett's." Lexi nudges my shoulder and smiles. "You think today we'll see some more of the dominance you showed last night?"
"What?" I can't help but smile. Is this chick for real? I swear whatever is on her mind, she says it. She doesn't seem to care who's around to hear it.
"Come on," she crosses her arms over her chest. "Every time you see Sutton anywhere near your brother, your nose flares, and your jaw does that little tick thing that screams pissed off. I think it's sexy, I won't lie, it shouts possessive, and that's just hot." She smiles wide. "Then there is the way you watch her, your eyes following her all over no matter what may be going on around you. I'd say it's because you want to ensure she is safe, but I think we both know it's a whole lot more than that."
"Are you always this forward?"
"I am when it's my best friend trapped between a rock and a hard place. I can't decide if you're the rock." She looks over me and doesn't hide when her gaze lands on my dick that I'm sure you can't see much of, considering the one that seems to make me hard isn't here yet. But I wasn't about to adjust myself now, to be sure. “No, I think you're the hard place," she wags her brows, and I can't help but chuckle.
"She's been oblivious to Bennett since they met, but I think it's because she's not attracted to him." I listen without saying a word. "She looks at him like a big brother. She's never felt a connection to him beyond that. But somewhere along the way, I think he started feeling something more. So, I told her to go for it a long time ago because honestly, I think your brother would have knocked her socks off with his skills in the bedroom."
"Really?" I glare without meaning to, and she laughs.
"See, there it is," she points at my face. "You might want to readjust your game face, big brother, if you're trying to pretend you don't want her, that is. Because she and Bennett just pulled in."
I look behind me to see a silver SUV and my brother's big black Chevy sliding in directly behind hers.
"Just so you know, I think the heat between you two would be off the charts," She slaps my shoulder and pauses, giving it a little squeeze. "Those are some powerful guns you got there, big guy," I ignore the way she is feeling me up as I focus on Sutton climbing out of her car. Immediate thoughts of what she'll look like in the bikini, I'm sure she is wearing beneath her shorts and shirt fill my head.
Coming today was a bad idea. When I search out Rory in the crowd, he gives me a confirming nod. He knows it too.
Fuck, I need another beer.
Chapter Thirteen
Sutton
* * *
I climb out of my car and immediately regret my decision to come. I can barely look at Bennett, knowing that I've hurt him even though he says things are still good between us.
I saw the look in his eyes when I told him that our friendship meant more to me than anything and that I wasn't willing to chance it by attempting to become more. Since we left his house only moments ago, I've had a perpetual knot in my throat that won't seem to go away. I wan
t to go back home, climb in bed beneath my oversized comforter and hide there until everything goes back to normal.
He steps up behind me, and I feel the tension build in my shoulders as he places a hand there and offers me a squeeze. "Relax, Tink, nothing is different," he states from behind me. "We're friends," I don't miss the way he says the words friends like it's a curse word or something. "Everything is good." Then, he moves past me toward all the people, and I remain frozen at the side of my car.
If nothing is different, then why do I feel like nothing will ever be the same?
"Why do you look like you are about to cry?" Lexi asks as she steps up beside me and turns around, leaning against the side of my car.
"I don't," my throat feels raw. "I'm fine."
"You are such a bad liar," linking her arm with mine, she starts to drag me toward everyone else. With each step, I feel like my legs are getting heavier and heavier. "Did you and Bennett talk?"
"Briefly," but it was the most awkward conversation of my life.
"And?"
I stop walking because the last thing I want is for Bennett or anyone else to hear me talking about it. It would add more to an already tense situation, and I don't want anything to be more complicated. "He asked me if I ever thought about him and I being more than just friends. I laughed before I could control it because, honestly, it was the last thing I expected him to ask. He shrugged it off as if that was the craziest idea he'd ever heard, too, then we left his place as if nothing had happened."
"Awkward," that's an understatement.
"Yup, now he's acting as if nothing happened, but it all feels strange. Like I can feel a shift between us, but neither of us is talking about it."
A loud yell echoes over the lake just before Bennett jumps off the dock, with a brunette in his arms. "Well, he seems okay." Lexi's brows furrow, and something passes over her face before she quickly recovers.
Looking back in Bennett's direction, I watch as the two of them come up out of the water, and he pulls her in close. He then says something to the girl, and she wraps her arms around his neck. I'm assuming her legs too, with how close they appear to be.
"Yeah, he does." But part of me knows this is all an act. Bennett has a habit of avoidance. Whenever things get too serious, or he feels embarrassed, he drinks and acts without thinking things through. So, this is nothing more than a coverup for his embarrassment.
"Come on," again she tugs me along. "You were honest, and Bennett should respect that."
I wish it were that simple, but a man's pride is a sensitive thing, and I'm afraid I've damaged that of one of my best friends. Bennett is a confident guy, as he should be. He's not lacking in the looks department; he's fit and strong. He'll make one lucky girl very happy, but to me, he'll always be the silly guy that makes me laugh and that I can count on to lift me up when things get tough. It would be so much easier if I could fall for Bennett because I know, without a doubt in my mind he will always keep me safe and sound.
But right now, he's a version of himself that I genuinely don't like.
I've spent the day by the lake, enjoying my friends. I've laughed to the point of tears, and a few times, I've dangled my feet into the cool water. But that's the closest I'd gotten to getting in the lake. I haven't even taken the time to remove my tank top or shorts, still feeling a little out of place. I know it's more related to the wedge that has now been driven between Bennett and I. An uncomfortableness that I cannot seem to shake.
He's acting as though he is outstanding, that he is the life of the party, going around from girl to girl that's unattached and laying on the charm thick. I've lost count of how many times I've seen him gripping some random girl's ass, and that alone doesn't bother me. Instead, it's the fact that he feels these actions are the only way he can somehow redeem his broken ego that sours my stomach.
I've chosen to remain completely sober, with no desire to find myself in a drunken cry, which was a vice of mine when I felt sad with alcohol nearby. But unfortunately, things have fallen apart in just under a day. I wish more than anything I could go back to the day I met Bennett and clarify more that he and I would only ever be friends.
Had I misled him somehow?
It is the constant question I've been asking myself, and I know deep down that I haven't, but it still lingers in my mind.
"You hiding?" My body jerks in surprise when a deep soothing voice speaks from behind. Looking back over my shoulder, I feel the same thrill I felt when I saw Brantley at the gas station. Long before I knew who he was, before I'd even seen him fully, I'd been attracted to him. That attraction has not changed since the first time I saw him, and it's only becoming so much harder to ignore
"No," It's a lie. I've spent the entire afternoon hiding in the shadows feeling like an idiot for reacting the way I had when Bennett asked me such a simple question. I should have just said that I love him and that his friendship means the world to me.
The loud sound of thunder cracking makes my body jump in surprise, followed by a streak of lightning lighting up the night sky. I know the start of early evening is about to be interrupted by a storm.
"Mind if I sit?" He points his beer toward the space on the log next to me, and I shrug, trying to hide the nervous energy I feel with him being so close.
As he lowers his body, I can't help but stare at how the log now seems so small compared to his large frame.
"Something funny?"
I hadn't even realized I was smiling. "You're kinda massive," way to state the obvious Sutton. I'm about to apologize for my choice of words when he chuckles before taking a swig of his beer. "I just mean that before you sat down, this," I point to the log, "actually looked big."
"You calling me fat?" Even in the darkness of the early evening storm clouds, I can see his smirk, and I know he's teasing me.
"Hardly," I'm pretty sure the guy doesn't have one ounce of fat on him.
Silence falls over us, all we hear is the mixed sounds of voices echoing and the drunken laughter of everyone. I pick the label on my water bottle and see Bennett chasing after another girl as they duck in behind his truck. A giggle follows a loud squeal, and I look down, knowing where it’s about to lead from there.
"You responsible for that?" Brantley's question surprises me and to be honest, irritates me too.
“What, for him getting stupid drunk or banging some loose girl in the bed of his truck?"
Brantley stares off in the direction his brother disappeared too, the bill of his hat hiding his eyes the same as it always does. "Which one of those two bothers you more?"
I stare at him, my pulse racing.
"If you're asking me if I'm jealous, then the answer is no. Bennett and I are friends, only friends like I've said before, or at least we were." I mumble the last part but don't give Brantley the chance to ask me what I mean. "I've never led him to believe we were more; I never wanted to be more. Who he chooses to spend time with is none of my business." Silence settles in around us, and I feel like everything is closing in around me.
I'm not too fond of this feeling.
The thunder around us seems to be getting louder, and the lightning more intense as it stretches out over the darkening sky.
I can hear the deep intake of each breath Brantley takes, followed by his exhale. My heart races, my hands slightly shake, and before I can consider stopping myself, I look over at him and ask the question that has been driving me crazy since he said the words. "What did you mean last night when you said that I wasn't yours to have?"
Brantley shifts his eyes toward me and holds my stare, not saying anything. Something passes over his face, a complex look as his brows furrow, and he presses his lips in a tight line. As if it's taking everything, he has inside of him not to speak the words I'm desperate to hear.
Lightning lights up the sky once again, and I glance to the left just as a loud crack of thunder cracks and echoes over the lake, a few loud squeals of surprise can be heard around us.
The
raindrops lightly begin to fall, and I focus on the little rippling circles it leaves in the calmness of the water. Then, as the rain starts to fall a little heavier, I glance around the open space and consider my options.
I'm sitting under a vast tree, near a body of water. Neither are very safe places when lightning is involved.
I stand just as the rain becomes faster, large droplets landing on my shoulders, followed by more and more. Then, looking up, I step out from beneath the tree, and it's as if the sky opens up and it begins to pour, plastering my face and chest.
Loud shrieks call out around us; a few guys cuss as they gather up their belongings and rush toward their cars. I'm just about to take off running when I'm scooped up and being carried in the direction of all the vehicles.
The cracking of the lightning grows fierce, and I swear the thunder feels as though it is shaking the ground.
I bury my head into Brantley's shoulder, why I don't know, I'm already soaked.
He opens the door on a huge truck and practically tosses me up inside before climbing in himself and closing the door behind him. I push back the wet hair sticking to my face and pull at my tank top that now looks more like a second layer of skin. Laughing at how ridiculous I must look, I'm entirely oblivious that Brantley is watching me.
"My brother has feelings for you," I look up to find Brantley staring at me. It hits me that I'd asked him a question before the rain, and he is just now answering me. “I'm saying it because I wish more than anything he didn't."
The complex look on his face, the way his eyes are focusing solely on me, and that intense tick of his jaw muscle make my heart race.
"Why?" I know my best option would be to let it go and pretend that nothing is happening between us, but I can't. I want to push him; I crave it so uncontrollably that my hands shake.
