Southside High

by Mankin, Michelle

  Plus, there was something about him that felt familiar, and it hit me just then, the things Bryan said about War being confrontational, having a temper, and not letting people push him around. Those things could also apply to me.

  But could two similar personalities get along?

  My thoughts continued as we strolled side by side. The night was dark, broken only by the interruption of streetlights. Dogs barked in the distance. Sirens wailed. The houses on the path he’d chosen were like Uncle Bruce’s 1920s bungalow. A few even had second stories like his. Only as I glanced in the lighted windows and saw silhouettes of the people inside, it seemed those contained real families, not just strangers thrown together under one roof.

  “Where are we going?” I asked, glancing at War. Maybe it wasn’t wise to go where he led without questioning. How much did I really know about him, beyond the fact that Bryan trusted him?

  “I’m taking you to meet someone,” he said.

  “Where?” I asked.

  “The Fast Mart on the Ave.” He stared straight ahead. The crease in his forehead that had appeared after Bryan’s question about coming to Kyle’s remained. Only now it was noticeably deeper.

  “Who?” My eyes narrowed.

  “Someone I think it’s important for you to meet.”

  “Important why?” I wasn’t sure I wanted to meet someone who made War look so worried. Someone he was purposefully vague about.

  “Fuck, you ask a lot of questions.”

  He stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and let go of my hand. A soft breeze lifted his light brown hair back from his handsome but troubled face.

  “Straight up, I want you, Lace. I want this to work with us. But I don’t do relationships. I don’t have a clue how to make one work, as you saw with my previous screwup.”

  Seeing War uncertain, vulnerable even, made my jaw drop. This wasn’t a side of him I’d seen before.

  Bryan’s words floated through my mind. “He made a mistake. He feels terrible. He’s a good guy.”

  “I’m not sure I do either,” I whispered. What examples of good relationships had I ever had?

  “I think you do. Actually, I’m counting on it.” War smoothed his hands over my shoulders. “You’re smart, determined, strong.”

  “Thank you.” I liked that he saw me that way. I liked that a hell of a lot. “I think you’re all those things too.” He certainly was when it came to his vision for the band.

  I placed my hand on his face and studied him. “Who are you, Warren Jinkins?”

  Handsome, he wore a determined crease—a permanent one—between his dark brows. A strong, almost sharp nose split the center of his lean face. A thick layer of evening stubble gave a hint of a mustache and beard. His defined jaw lent him a dangerous look, a more dangerous one.

  There was a darkness hanging over War, a cloud that never seemed to dissipate, a potential threat of danger, a real chance that he could harm rather than help you, as I now knew. The choice, the power, it was ultimately his.

  “I’m just a Southside guy.” His lips lifted into a slow, sexy grin. “Trying to claim a girl.”

  “Is that what you really want? To claim me?”

  I sensed that if I won a place in his guarded heart, if he truly claimed me like he had Bryan as a friend, that War would go to any length to protect me. But only if our goals were the same.

  What would happen if my interests didn’t align with his?

  “I do want that. I want you, Lacey.” He glided his hands down my arms. Curling his long fingers around my upper arms, he pulled me closer, his hard body cushioning my softer one.

  “I believe you,” I whispered. The truth shone in his brown gaze, the coppery filaments within it glowing bright. Plus, I could feel the physical evidence of that truth. Between us, he was thick and hard.

  “And you?” he asked as his eyes searched mine, making my heart race. “What do you want?”

  I was attracted to him. Majorly intrigued. I got the dangerous part of him, understood it, and experienced the thrill that went along with it. I also got that the sharp edge of him could slice both ways.

  “I want you too, War. It’s just—”

  “No,” he said quickly, cutting me off. “I can work with that. We can work with that. Isn’t wanting each other and us being honest about how we feel the right place to start?”

  War

  “Here we are,” I said to Lace, stopping in front of the Fast Mart and opening the door for her. She stepped inside, and I followed. A bell jingled overhead, announcing our arrival.

  “Welcome to the Fast Mart,” my old lady said without looking up from scanning a stack of scratch cards for her customer.

  “Thanks,” Lace said to her, not knowing who she was. Glancing around the store, she turned to me. “Who are we meeting here, and why?”

  “Excuse me,” said the guy who had just bought the lottery cards. He was so skinny, he looked like he would have been better off buying food rather than a one-in-a-zillion chance at a jackpot of cash.

  “Of course.” I pulled Lace out of his way. “Our bad.” I was just about to spell everything out for her when my old lady spoke.

  “What the hell, Warren? I told you to stay out of here when I’m on my shift.”

  “Hey, Mom.” I turned toward her, raking a hand through my hair.

  “No free booze. You’re underage. I’ll get fired, and then where will we be? A single mother with no job, and her boy who’s more trouble than he’s worth.”

  Lace’s entire body jerked.

  “Not looking for alcohol,” I mumbled, noticing Lace watching me closely.

  “No free condoms either.” My mother swept her gaze over Lace and narrowed it. “You wanna fuck around with a piece of ass who looks like a goodie-goodie schoolteacher, that’s your business. Your responsibility. Don’t make the mistake I made and get shackled with a kid for life. Buy condoms.”

  “Yeah. I get it.” Her words were familiar but sliced deeply. They always did.

  “Why don’t I believe you?” She frowned, and I hated that she had zero faith in me.

  “Don’t fucking know. I guess because you never believe anything I tell you.” I frowned now too. The toxicity of her words wasn’t even noteworthy. I was accustomed to the sting.

  “Get the fuck out of here then, and take your latest piece of ass with you.”

  “C’mon.” I took Lace’s arm and led her out the same way we came in.

  “War,” she said as soon as we were outside, and I stiffened, anticipating her pity. “I’m—”

  “Don’t.” Moving directly in front of her, I saw the sheen of that stuff in her eyes, and it pissed me off. I retreated behind my wall, even as I walked her backward and pressed her into the window. “Don’t fucking feel sorry for me.”

  “I don’t.” Her brow creased. “I just wanted to ask, was your mother who you wanted me to meet?”

  “Yeah.” I nodded, but was rethinking bringing Lace here. I wasn’t cut out for this shit.

  “She’s not very nice.” The words were spaced out as if Lace measured them carefully before speaking them. Her delicate brows pinched tighter together. “Why did you bring me here?”

  “I wanted you to see her, how she is, so you would get me.”

  “Get you how?”

  “Get that this is me—a son his mother doesn’t even want.” I clenched my fingers into fists, where they pressed into the wall on either side of her pretty head. “Take me or leave me, Lace. I don’t care.” It was bullshit, but it was BS I’d been flinging my whole damn life. “But decide fucking now before this goes any further.”

  I forced my fingers to unclench, and my hand shook a bit as I stroked her cheek. Her skin was soft and warm. Every part of my body tightened as I touched her.

  “I get you.” Lace slid her slender arms around my waist and laid her cheek against my chest.

  I let out the breath I’d been holding as I waited on her verdict. Drawing her closer, I buried my
fingers deep in the satiny fall of her hair. “I like this.”

  Acceptance. Warmth. Beauty. I lowered my head and kissed the top of hers.

  “You sound funny,” she said. “Like you’re surprised.”

  “Never held a chick like this.”

  “Really?” she asked. Now she was the one who sounded surprised.

  “Yeah. I get them this close, I just fuck ’em.”

  “Oh.” Lace lifted her head, and after studying me a long moment, her golden eyes widened. “You’re telling the truth.”

  “Fuck yeah, I’m telling the truth. Why would I lie?”

  I tucked a long strand of her hair behind her ear. Then I slid my hands down her arms and wrapped her sexy body in my embrace. Now that I had her, with her knowing everything, I was in no hurry to let her go.

  “You’re pretty, and you smell good,” I said without thinking, and then swallowed. I sounded like a douche.

  “Thank you. It’s my vanilla lotion.” Her voice was lighter, like she was smiling. “You’re very handsome.”

  “You think so?” I lifted my chin. She was smiling. “I look like the married asshole who lied to my mom so he could fuck her.”

  “That’s terrible.” Lace’s smile faltered, and I wanted to kick myself.

  Why had I said that? It was like I wanted to ruin the tenderness of the moment.

  “What I meant to say was, thank you for the compliment, and for defending me today at school,” I said, wrenching the words from a deep part of me that barely existed anymore.

  “Randy’s a jerk,” she said. “And I think you’re worth defending.”

  “Not hardly.” But I was glad she thought so. Lace felt like a chance for me. A chance for something good. A chance I’d never had. But I shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal.

  “I disagree.” She gazed through the plate-glass window of the Fast Mart a long moment, biting her lip. Her eyes were softer when she looked at me again. “Can we go somewhere else?” Going up on her toes, she pressed her lips to my cheek. “Please?”

  “Sure,” I said, barely managing to choke out a reply with so much unexpected emotion tightening my throat. Lace was being sweet to me without me giving her anything, except a glimpse into my life, which was complete and utter shit. I changed my mind, no longer regretting bringing her here. “Where would you like to go?”

  “You’re truly asking and not telling me?” she asked, her eyes dancing.

  “Yeah, I am.” I lifted my hand to my cheek, where warmth from her lips lingered on my skin. Did she know she could ask me for practically anything right now, and I’d find a way to give it to her?

  “Maybe there’s hope for you,” she said with a decisive nod.

  Maybe there actually was, because of her, but I downplayed it.

  “Unlikely, but don’t be a bitch.” My lips curved as the warmth from her kiss spread to the rest of me. The cold ashes inside my black heart began to glow.

  • • •

  Lace

  “I think we both need hope,” I whispered, skimming my fingers over War’s skin. I understood him, understood how it messed you up having a mother like he did, like we both did.

  He leaned into my caress. “I agree.”

  Suddenly, I felt more mature than him. Stroking the unyielding line of his jaw with my thumb, I noted the roughness of his stubble. It scraped my nerve endings in a pleasurable way. Everything he’d shared, everything he’d shown me tonight, it all resonated deeply.

  I swallowed to moisten my dry throat, and I gave him raw truth, like I used to do with Bryan. “I haven’t had a lot of hope in my life.”

  “I’m sorry. I wish life treated you different. You deserve hope.” War’s eyes softened to the color of chocolate—warm, melted milk chocolate.

  “I think I . . .” I stopped and restarted. It felt like that kind of night, like a new beginning. “I believe we have to make our own hope in this world.”

  “Yes, we do. Though my methods and the lengths I’d go to make hope happen might be more drastic than yours.” He studied me a long beat, then asked softly, “What happened with your parents, Lace? Why aren’t you living with them?”

  Ice water flooded my veins. I dropped my hand and lowered my head.

  “Hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” He captured my hand and brought it to his face, pressing his lips into the center of my cold palm. Warmth pooled in my skin and spread through the rest of me, like ripples on a pond. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to ruin the moment. I guess I better get you back home.”

  “It’s not my home,” I blurted, lifting my chin, and his eyes widened. “I mean, I live there, at my uncle’s house, but he doesn’t really want me or Dizzy there.”

  “That’s shitty.”

  Because War didn’t push me, because I knew he would understand, truth that I’d buried deep came out. All of it. “My mother’s a drug addict. She sleeps around to pay for her next fix. She never even told Dizzy or me who our father is. I’m not sure she knows.”

  “Oh, Lace.” War reached for my hand, closed his fingers around mine, and squeezed. “I’m sorry.”

  Because I knew his reaction wasn’t pity, I continued. “She’s been an addict ever since I can remember. Alcohol, pills, coke, but her preference is heroin.” I let out a mirthless laugh. “She prefers it over everything, her own dignity, even above my brother and me. She offered me to her dealer in exchange for a fix when I was eleven.” The night of the Metallica concert, the dark memory tried to surface, but I quashed it before it could fully form.

  His brows dipped. “I don’t know what to say. That’s—”

  “Horrifying,” I said, pressing my lips together for a moment so I wouldn’t cry.

  I hadn’t shed a single tear since that night, but it wasn’t denial. It was an act of defiance. That event and being my mother’s daughter didn’t define me.

  “Bryan’s mom called the cops before anything too terrible happened. CPS intervened and placed us with our uncle. But it’s only a temporary arrangement.” I took a breath, then exhaled before giving him the rest of it. “Uncle Bruce reminds me nearly every day how much taking care of us puts him out. He says his life is on hold because of Dizzy and me. Once we graduate, we have to move out.”

  “I understand. My old lady gives me ultimatums all the time.” War’s eyes flashed, the copper filaments in them suddenly on fire. “It sucks that all the grown-ups in our lives are assholes.”

  I nodded. War’s anger was my anger, though I expressed mine with attitude. His was outright confrontation. “I hate being in that house with him.” And I hated that I was weak and tried so hard to please him.

  “I hate being at my place too.” War’s brows drew together, forming a determined line between his eyes. “Once I graduate, I’m gone. Sooner if the band breaks out.”

  “That sounds like a good plan.”

  “I think it is. It’s a plan that now includes you. You’re coming with me.”

  I’d only met War yesterday. How could he say these things?

  “You can’t say that.” I shook my head. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” I’d had way too many of those. Broken promises were worse than ones that were never made at all.

  “I’ll keep it.” War’s resolve was as solid as the concrete beneath our feet. “I’m keeping you. This shit between us is happening for real.”

  Lace

  “I don’t know.” I frowned at the equation on the notebook paper first, then glanced at Chad.

  “What don’t you know?” he asked. “You got it right this time.”

  “Yeah, but it took me fifteen minutes. I’m not going to have that much time during the actual SAT.”

  He tugged on my ponytail. “Math’s not your strongest subject.”

  “That’s a nice way of saying I suck at it,” I grumbled.

  “What can I say?” A smile spread across his handsome face. “I’m a nice guy.”

  “Take the test for
me.” I took his hand, the one not twirling my hair, and held it in both of mine. He was a basketball player and had grown inches taller over the past year. My hands looked ridiculously small compared to his. “Please,” I said as I batted my eyes at him.

  A growl behind me drowned out my plea.

  “Hands off my woman,” War said.

  Immediately, I dropped Chad’s hands, and he released my hair. My boyfriend’s silver-ringed fingers, leather-cuffed wrists, then his sculpted biceps appeared in my peripheral vision as he slid his arms around me from behind.

  “I was just begging Chad to take the test for me.” I made the explanation quickly, though War was less prone to beat up any guy who slighted me or gave me an interested look than he’d been at the beginning of our relationship.

  Over the past year, I’d discovered that Bryan had been right about War. With me, he was loyal, protective, and even tender sometimes, but he was also extremely jealous and possessive. His reputation kept all the other guys away, except Chad.

  “You’ll do fine on your own, babe.” War kissed my cheek, unthreaded his arms from around my neck, and grabbed a chair from the study table behind ours. Turning the chair around, he wedged it between Chad and me. Straddling it, he draped his arms over the back.

  “I hope so.” My brows drew together. I needed to do better than just fine to get a scholarship that would cover college tuition, room, and board.

  Things were even more tense these days at my uncle’s house. He had a girlfriend now. One with kids. He wanted Dizzy and me out of his house, so he could move them in.

  “You worry too much.” War smoothed the crease between my brows with the pad of his ringed thumb. His earthy scent swirled around me.

  My skin prickled with awareness. My mind filled with images, and my body filled with heat associated with those images.

  War with his shirt off, and me with mine off too. He’d been patient and careful, waiting for me to turn seventeen, which would happen soon. But that didn’t mean things didn’t get hot and heavy, and that we both didn’t reach satisfying conclusions. It was just that so far, those satisfying conclusions occurred while leaving my virginity intact.