“Oh, Chad.”
“Don’t pity me, Lace.” His hazel eyes softened when he saw his harshness hurt me. “Please, don’t feel sorry for me. Okay? I don’t want that.”
“But I feel terrible that this happened to you.”
“I do too. I . . .” He glanced down at his leg, then looked at me. “Well, it made me realize how tenuous our dreams really are.”
That wasn’t a good thought. Icy trepidation that felt like foreboding trickled down my spine.
He placed his free hand over mine. “Promise me you’ll focus all your energy on achieving your dream. Complete the SAT course Bryan paid for, and study hard. Even though you’ll have to do it on your own.”
“I promise.”
“Don’t get sidetracked by anything.”
“I won’t.”
“I thought maybe I’d be around.” His eyes took on a distant cast. “I hoped I’d have the option to go to college here too. Help you out some. But I can’t do that anymore, Lace. I don’t even know what’s going to happen to me. But I do know that I’m not dragging you down into this mess with me. Understand?”
“Oh, Chad.” Abandoning our stacked hands, I did what I’d wanted to since I’d first walked into the room. I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Lace.” He returned my hug. “Enough to want better for you. You need to get out of here. I want that for you. I want to see one of us achieve their dream.”
Lace
Teary-eyed at thoughts of Chad, I stumbled out of his hospital room and ran straight into Vance.
“Hey there, pretty girl.” He clamped his hands around my upper arms, and before I knew it, I found myself backed into the wall he’d been leaning against earlier.
“Where is—”
“They’re gone. Chad’s old man and my old lady went outside for a discussion.” He dipped his gaze to my cleavage.
I’d worn a low-cut Ramones tank with strategic slashes and arm holes so wide, you could almost see my lacy black bra. I also had on black jeans, a black knit cap on my head, and bracelets, leather and silver on my wrists. I was rocker-girl chic all the way, anticipating seeing Bryan later at the beach. But now that and everything else seemed to have been blown to hell.
“I want a turn with you.” Lifting my arms over my head, Vance ground his belt buckle and his erection into me.
“No. Let me go.” Trying to yank my arms free, I trembled with panic. My hot dog from earlier lurched from my stomach to the top of my throat.
“You heard her.”
War’s unexpected but threatening growl made an electrical current snap through me. Turning my head, I sagged in relief as I watched him step closer.
His visage was dark and vengeful beneath his red bandanna. The white T-shirt and indigo jeans he’d accessorized with a plethora of silver and black leather almost made it seem as if he’d planned to be a bookend to me, rocker guy to my rocker girl.
Vance released me and assumed a defensive stance, but he was too late. The incoming punch from War caught him in the center of his breadbasket. Sounding like a car tire leaking air, he doubled over.
“Clean up that piece of shit for me, would you, Bry?” War said, almost offhandedly. “I need to check on Lace.”
“My pleasure,” Bryan said, kicking Vance in the nuts.
Chad’s stepbrother toppled over with an expletive and a thud.
“Lacey.” War came closer, blocking my view of Bryan while searching my gaze. “Are you okay?”
“Yes. Thank you.” I wrapped my arms around myself, suddenly feeling cold. “But why are you here?”
“To see Chad. You called us, remember?”
“I called Bry.” I glanced at him and saw it, the guardedness in his eyes. In my panic, I’d missed it before.
Bryan was War’s wingman. He would always be War’s wingman.
And I also knew in that moment that War was the wall standing between Bryan and me. Hope couldn’t scale it. Dreams couldn’t tunnel under it. I was destined to walk alone, seeing Bryan on the side he’d chosen, but never having him. I’d never be an option for him, and he would never be a choice for me.
My gaze swung back to War.
“Forgive me, Lacey.” He stretched out his corded arm, offering me his hand. “I don’t want to be at odds with you.” His silver rings reflected the overhead light, but the copper filaments in his brown eyes flared brighter than all of that when I placed my hand in his.
“I forgive you,” I said softly. And I did. It was big, this gesture by him, but I’d never blindly trust him or anyone else but myself going forward.
I was seventeen now. It was time to grow up. Life wasn’t fair.
To War—and even to Bryan, despite his pretty words—I was little more than a side note. I didn’t measure when it came to War’s ambitions. I didn’t rank when the choice was between me and Bryan’s friendship with War.
It was up to me and me alone to make the best life for myself that I could, though the odds were stacked against me.
War
After we visited Chad together, Lace was quiet, unusually so. Down the hall, on the elevator, and out into the night, she didn’t speak a single word to break the silence. It made me uneasy.
“Where’s Bry?” she asked, and tension replaced uneasiness.
“He took care of Vance, then he took off,” I said, lifting my hand with my cell in it as part of my explanation. “He texted while we were in there talking to Chad.”
“Oh. Okay. He didn’t even wish me happy birthday.” Her expression fell, and therein lay the problem. One that had been festering from the beginning.
I wasn’t blind. My best friend was her best friend too, and he’d come between us. Though I had what I wanted right now, her back with me, I wondered what had happened between the two of them while we’d been separated. So I put it out there.
“Did something happen with you and Bry that I should know about?”
“No,” she said without hesitation.
Giving her a long side glance, I didn’t see anything that made me think her reply was a lie. “But you’re calling him Bry now.”
She shrugged. “He was there for me. For a few days, it was like we were kids again and no time was between us. But I realize now he was just being nice. Maybe he felt sorry for me.”
I highly doubted that pity was the emotion motivating my best friend when it came to her.
“I can be nice. If you need nice.”
“Sure,” she said, but she didn’t sound convinced. Tucking her cell into her pocket, she trained her gaze on the sidewalk.
I stepped in front of her and stopped. Lifting her chin, I searched her eyes. They were shadowed, troubled. “Is nice what you really want from me, babe?”
“Maybe sometimes.”
“Sometimes like this past Friday night, for example?”
She nodded. Her creamy skin sliding against my fingertips sent an electrical current surging through me. My cock lengthened just from that. It was insane how much I wanted her.
My gaze hardened. “I did what I had to, what I thought was best. For both of us. I’m not going to apologize for it again. You said you forgave me. Can you not see my side in this?”
“I see it,” she whispered. Her gaze sliding away, she stepped back.
My hand fell to my side. Inside, I panicked, fucking panicked that I might lose her again. I loved her, no doubt, but it made me angry the power that emotion gave her over me.
“But I don’t think you see mine.” She wrapped her arms around herself.
“The college thing?” I asked. “Is that what you mean?”
“It’s not a thing, War.” She lifted her gaze, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. She never cried. Not even the other night when I laid into her, but she was close now. “It’s my only ticket out of Southside. And even that isn’t a guarantee. I could slide right back in again without warning.” She jerked her head back toward the hospital. “Lo
ok what happened to Chad. Everything was going his way, and in a single moment, through no fault of his own, he lost it all, his hopes and dreams.”
“Okay, so college is an option for you. You can keep that in play, if you want to, but it’s not your only option.”
“What do you mean?”
“I want you back in the group. It’s all wrong. Everything is wrong without you.”
“Oh, War. Thank you.” She threw herself at me, draping her slender arms around my neck, and I caught her. Tits, pussy, long legs, she was plastered to me.
“You’re welcome,” I said thickly. My pulse raced and my cock went hard. Sliding my hands down her spine, I spread them on the swell of her delectable ass. “But, babe, you can’t countermand me when it comes to the band.”
She stiffened. “Your way or the highway, is that it?”
“Yeah, it is, if there are music reps standing right there offering to write us a ticket out of this shit-hole. Look at me,” I said, and her gaze met mine, her eyes flashing defiant amber fire. “Us, Lacey. I said it a year ago, and I’m saying it now. Again. Are you hearing me?”
“Yeah.” She nodded. “And I know you expect me to swoon at your feet like all those other girls do. But I respect myself and my own ambition too much to.”
“I respect you.” My eyes narrowed.
“To a point. That point being whether my ambition interferes with yours.”
“Lacey, c’mon.”
“The band is your vision, your dream, and you don’t believe in me or mine. That’s my point. Are you hearing me?”
“There’s no us in your dream. Are you listening to yourself?”
She blew out a breath. “There’s no us in mine because you’ve never backed it. Never stopped to consider the possibility of combining your dream and mine.”
“Is that a requirement for you, for the two of us to be together?”
“We’re not together.”
“The hell we’re not.” I shot straight to mad. Grabbing her ass, I hauled her closer, and she gasped. I didn’t fucking care. This was bullshit. “You’re my woman, Lace. Mine. I protect and defend what’s mine. Southside is the only reality right now, and it’s our reality. This other shit is hypothetical.”
“War, I know, but it’s important.”
Her hands had moved down to my forearms where they flexed into my skin, whether with nervousness or desire, I wasn’t sure. But her breaths were labored, like they were when she was turned on, and her eyes had darkened to burnished gold.
“We had a misstep,” I said firmly. “A miscommunication. But we’re together, and we’re going forward together with me doing whatever is necessary for both of us. Though from now on, I’ll make allowances for your dream in the overall scheme of things.”
Lace
A misstep.
That’s how War saw tossing me aside just because I’d countermanded him. He made me mad a lot of the time. Now was one of them.
Yet, I reminded myself that he was here right now. He hadn’t completely abandoned me, and a lot of what he said I liked. It wasn’t usual for him to make allowances.
Plus, being back in his arms was familiar and exciting. He wanted me. Turned me on. He might not be the way forward, but he was a way. I couldn’t afford to toss him and his demands that irked me aside just because he wasn’t giving me exactly what I wanted, or because he wasn’t who I wanted.
“Bry said he gave you a birthday present already,” War said, breaking into and seeming to hijack my thoughts.
“He did.” I nodded.
“He’s a thoughtful guy. But I’m not him. I’m not going to try to compete with him. Those prep classes he gave you, they’re after school, yeah?”
I was surprised Bryan had told him. It was a thoughtful and extravagant birthday gift, one that probably depleted a good portion of the money he’d saved from working this past summer.
“I’m going to walk you to those classes and home from school from now on, not him.”
“But your voice lessons and—”
“Choir lessons are over. The other commitment is too.”
“Okay,” I said, though I wasn’t sure if my agreement was even required. War’s words sounded more like orders.
“Good.” He tilted his head. “Are we okay now? You and me?”
“Yes, we’re okay.”
“Ah, babe,” he purred, his lids lowering. “And now you’re seventeen. There are so many things I want to do to you.” He slid his hands lower, cupping my ass and rocking his erection into me.
Unable to stop myself, I responded. He was sexy, and he was hard. I was wet, but I wasn’t ready to have sex with him. Not tonight.
“I can’t jump right into bed with you. Not after all that’s happened.”
His eyes narrowed.
“I’m sorry, War. If that’s an ender for us, then we’re ended. I need more than just words to believe the things that are important to me matter to you.”
“It’s not an ender,” he said through gritted teeth. “But it sure as fuck is disappointing.”
He released me. Without his embrace, cold air rushed over me.
“I’m sorry for the disappointment.” I wrapped my arms around myself.
“Where’s your jacket?” he asked.
“Where’s yours?”
“Gotta say.” He grinned slowly. “Missed your attitude.”
I raised a brow.
“Did you miss me a little?” he asked, showing me a touch of vulnerability.
Knowing and understanding that part of him, I was quick to affirm. “Yes, I did. Though I’d miss you more if you had a jacket to share with me.”
He gave me a meaningful look.
“How about we keep each other warm?”
“Sounds like a plan.”
“A mutual shared plan,” he said, getting in a dig while throwing his arm around my shoulders. “Probably oughta get you somewhere warmer. Too bad it’s such a long walk to your uncle’s place from here.”
“Not far to my old apartment building. We could stop on the way.” I could see the outline of it just on the other side of the railway tracks, about halfway to my uncle’s. “We could duck inside the stairwell to get warmed up. Most people use the elevator, and the stairwell is easy to access from outside.” Dizzy and I had often hidden from our mother there whenever her clients or pimps were inside our apartment.
“Sure.” He gave me a long look. “Aren’t you worried that you’ll run into your old lady?”
“I don’t even think she knows the stairwell exists.” Or that I did. I hadn’t had contact with her in years.
“Okay. Let’s get going. You’re shivering,” he said, and we began walking.
The night darkened as we walked away from the hospital. Stray dogs wandered around overfilled trash dumpsters behind it, and some scary men loitered around the train stop. It looked like they were panhandling for money or drugs, but they didn’t approach us.
Seeming to note them too, War tightened his arm around my shoulders, and I tucked myself closer into his side. His hip bumped mine as we crossed over the tracks. It was a little awkward, walking so close together, but I was grateful for his warmth, grateful to have him back in my life.
War was thoughtful in his own way. Not nice, maybe, like Chad, or thoughtful and gentle like Bryan, but he was protective and loyal. Maybe I was being too prideful about my own stuff.
“We have a gig tomorrow night,” War said, breaking into my thoughts again.
“Where?” I asked.
“The Troubadour.”
“Downtown?”
“Yeah.”
“Wow. They must really have liked the acoustic set you and Bry did for the tryout.”
His eyes narrowed. “Stripped down, a lot of things become clear.”
“I’m not getting naked with you tonight, War.”
“Can’t blame me for trying, Lacey.”
No, I couldn’t. What if War decided I wasn’t worth the wait or tr
ouble? He wasn’t bragging when he said he could have any woman he wanted. He’d had his pick before the band started up. He had even more lined up for him now.
“Did—” I swallowed and tried again. “Did you sleep with anyone else while we were apart?” I hated how weak I sounded asking, but I had to know.
“No,” he said without hesitation. “I don’t want to fuck anyone else. How about you?”
I shook my head. “I wasn’t with anyone.”
“Good. Here.” We’d reached the gate outside my old apartment building, and he opened it for me. “Hurry inside.” He glanced at the street behind me. “Some rough-looking dudes have been following us since the train station. We might need to stay inside for a little longer. Just until they move away.”
“Okay.” I hurried across the trash-strewn lawn, straight to the graffiti-painted stairwell door, and opened it.
War was right behind me. Closing it, he turned and peered through the tiny inset of shatterproof glass. “They’re still there, but they’re staying outside the gate.”
Moving close to him, I glanced through the window over his wide shoulder. “They’re looking back the way we came. Maybe they’re waiting for someone.”
“Maybe,” War said low. “Your tits are pressing into my back.” He turned around, his eyes dark.
“Sorry.”
“Didn’t mention it for you to apologize.” He placed his hands on my shoulders and slid them down my arms. Chill bumps erupted on my skin that had nothing to do with the cold and everything to do with him. Grabbing my hands, he brought them to his chest. “Told you because you feel good.”
“Ah,” I said.
“Touch me, babe.”
He groaned when I did. I spread my fingers wide. He was solid muscle and smooth skin. A warm shiver rolled through me when his gaze dipped to my lips.
Southside High Page 19
