“I gotta kiss you,” he murmured as he walked me backward.
My back hit the wall. He lowered his head, and when I went up on my toes, his mouth slammed down on mine. His wet tongue speared between my lips.
His hands were active while we kissed. Shaping my breasts, his thumbs flicked my nipples. They were easy to find. I was wearing so little on top, and they were tight and already aching. War knew how to kiss. We’d been together a year. He knew exactly how to touch me to get a response.
I had a stray thought that I’d dressed like this for Bryan, but reminded myself he wasn’t here. He didn’t want to be here.
My thoughts were consumed by fire as War’s hands flowed over my body, a conduit for his desire. He was an insistent lover. Tracing my ass, he grabbed a globe in each hand and squeezed hard. My pussy spasmed. Gripping my upper thigh, he lifted it.
“Put your leg around me, babe.”
I did, and he opened me wider, rocking his hardness against my needy, throbbing core. I moaned into his mouth.
“That’s it, babe.” His other hand in my hair, he yanked, forcing my head back. Breaking the connection of our mouths, he rained fiery kisses down the exposed column of my neck.
“War, oh, War,” I murmured. “Yes.”
I was about to come just from that, but froze when I heard voices. The door to the stairwell banged open, and War moved me behind him.
“Fuck,” a guy bigger than War said. “Didn’t know anyone was in here.”
“Oh, you’re a cute one,” a woman said, and more ice drenched me.
I knew that voice. I peeked around War, and my eyes widened and my stomach flooded with dread. It was my mother.
“He’s not interested,” I said.
“Sorry, honey,” she slurred. Her eyes, gold like mine but dulled by dope, narrowed on me. “Are you the new girl?”
“No. God, no.” I swallowed down bile as I realized my own mother didn’t even recognize me. “I’m not a prostitute.”
“Honest work is honest work, honey.” Her nose twitched with indignation. “Don’t be judgmental.”
“Nothing honest about selling your body for drugs.” I stepped out from behind War.
He was watching me closely, putting things together quickly for sure. Blond, with golden eyes and a wide mouth, my mother looked like me, though a me that was twenty years older, drugged out, and malnourished.
“My business, honey.”
“Is it just your business to pimp out your own kids for your next fix?” I asked.
“Whoa,” the big guy said. “I’m out of here.” Scurrying backward, he ducked out the door.
A blast of cold air came in, but I barely noted it. My focus was her.
“Who the fuck do you think you are?” She swayed and started scratching her arms. Her thin skin was covered in tracks and began to bleed.
“Don’t you recognize me?” I asked.
She stared at me a long beat. “No.” Then her eyes brightened. “But for a twenty, I’ll suck your guy off and you can watch.”
“You disgust me.” I turned my back on her, curling my fingers into my palms. “Let’s go, War.” My grip was so tight, my nails cut my skin.
“You think you’re so much better than me?” she said, and I froze. “You’re just younger. Wait until you’re all alone and not so pretty anymore, and that big handsome guy leaves you. Remember what I said then, when you’re desperate and your babies are hungry.”
“Here, take this and buy yourself some food.” War shoved a twenty in her hands.
Cackling, she took it and tucked it into her cleavage. She lunged for the door, knocking me out of the way. Outside, she shuffled across the lawn. The group of guys we’d been worried about were still out there. They welcomed her, lewdly grabbing her as they passed her back and forth.
Sick to my stomach, I whispered, “Get me out of here, War.”
“Gladly,” he said, and he did, coming to my rescue twice in one night.
The rest of the walk to my uncle’s house was a blur, both of us processing what we’d seen. War was as shocked as I was. He’d shown me his mother way back when, and now he’d seen mine. Our backgrounds were more alike than unlike, the rejection and neglect by our mothers similar.
He told me to get some rest and kissed the top of my head before he left. But I didn’t sleep afterward. Like a bad movie, the horrible scene with my mother kept replaying in my mind, seeming inescapable.
War
“Lace has been acting weird since we ran into her old lady,” I told Bryan, noting that the designated smoker’s area behind the Troubadour had a lot less graffiti than the one at Footit’s.
“That was a month ago.” He took a puff of his cigarette and turned his head to exhale away from me. “Not that she shared anything with me,” he mumbled, sounding put out. “I just remember because you told me.”
“Yeah, I guess it was that long ago.”
We’d been cold and in jackets then. Now, it was spring and nearly a comfortable temperature outside. Time flew with the band kicking ass, and me having the best kickass chick back beside me.
“She really not share anything with you to explain her mood?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at him. I had the feeling Bryan had been avoiding her, and she seemed to be doing the same since the night of her birthday.
Which was good, of course.
Though she denied anything happening with him, thinking about the two of them alone together without me as a deterrent still made me uneasy.
“No, man. She’s probably just stressed. With her best friend in a downward spiral, she doesn’t have anyone to hang out with.”
“She has me,” I said.
“Not during her classes. Not at lunch.”
“Doesn’t she sit with King at lunch?” I asked.
“Sometimes.”
I cocked my head, concerned that Bryan remained aware of what she did when, and with whom.
“She has the SAT retest soon,” he said. “Maybe it’s not running into her old lady that threw her for a loop. Maybe it’s just that.”
I wasn’t aware of the date. Lace and I didn’t really do a lot of talking anymore when we were alone. Thank fuck.
I narrowed my eyes. “How’d you know when her exam is?”
“It was on the materials for the prep course,” he said with a shrug.
“Yeah?” I asked, pressing a bit just to be a dick. When he nodded, I frowned. “I’ll be glad when that’s finally done.”
The five-day-a-week course he’d signed her up for had seriously eaten into my quality alone time with Lace. Between her studying for school and for that fucking pointless SAT, I still hadn’t gotten across the finish line with her.
The door to the alley creaked open. Since I was facing that direction, I saw Lace the moment she stepped outside. She was so beautiful, just looking at her made it difficult to breathe. She was wearing one of those crisscrossed lingerie-type tops with a lot of skin showing in the mesh, and a full skirt. Her blond hair was loose around her bare shoulders and curled up at the ends. I loved feeling the silky softness of it around my cock when she went down on me.
Bryan shifted to look at her too. His back to me, I couldn’t see his expression, but hers softened as she looked at him.
“You look pretty tonight, Lace,” he told her, and she smiled.
“Thanks, Bry.”
I wanted to gag at their exchange. But got over it when she stepped past him, coming straight to me.
“Those music reps are back again,” she said as she ran her hands over my chest.
“Which ones?” I asked.
“Black Cat. Zenith. Um, RDA.”
“RCA,” I said, correcting her.
“Sorry.” She pointed at her head. “If it’s not a math equation lately, it slips my mind. But I remembered you telling me you wanted to have a word with them if they showed up again.”
“Right. Thanks, babe.” I leaned in and pressed my lips to hers. Just a brief touch, but e
ven so, my cock got hard. “I’ll go talk to them.”
I glanced at Bryan. He was watching us, and for a moment his gaze flickered with something dark. “Can you keep an eye on Lace until I get back?”
“Sure, man,” he said.
Lace frowned. “I don’t need babysitting, War.”
“I know that. But Vance is lurking around.” Now that the fucker’s band opened for Tempest, I loved rubbing it in his face. The guy and I were sworn enemies. He should never have touched Lace.
She nodded. “Okay.”
I headed inside, my steps purposeful and my expression determined. I kept turning down those same three reps, but they kept coming back, wanting to sign us. I pitted them against one another, and their offers kept rising.
The only problem?
So far, they were all holding firm at excluding Lace from their offers.
• • •
Lace
I stood beside Bryan, picking at my skirt and feeling awkward. We hadn’t been alone since Chad had been injured. I didn’t know what to say. A month later, but it still hurt to know I never had and never would rank with Bryan the way I wanted to.
“Are you okay?” His gray-green eyes glittered above the red tip of his cigarette, and when he exhaled, smoke billowed around him.
“I’m fine,” I said tersely. “Why do you ask?”
“You seem jumpy. You’re that way around me a lot. Around War too. He mentioned it, so I just wondered.”
“I have the SAT tomorrow,” I blurted, always a sucker for sharing with Bryan.
“Figured that had something to do with it.” He gave me a long look, taking a drag and exhaling, making me shivery all over just looking at his mouth. “Is there something else bothering you?”
You. You’re bothering me.
Too handsome with his tousled brown hair and his striking eyes. Too hard to put my attraction for him behind me. I kept wondering what if we’d gone to the beach together the night of my birthday.
“Chad’s hurting and so withdrawn.” I gave Bryan a worry I could share. “And every time I try to talk to him, he gets angry.”
“He’s your friend, Lace. He’ll be your friend again on the other side of this. Just give him some time to process.”
“Yeah, I know that in my head, but it hurts in my heart that he’s avoiding me.” I gave Bryan a long look. He was avoiding me too. I didn’t know how I knew it was purposeful, but I did. I could feel the strain of tension between us.
“He has his reasons, I’m sure. Reasons that you might not understand, but that are best for you.” He studied me a long beat, seeming to try to import some truth to me telepathically. “Is there anything else going on with you?”
Because he looked so interested and asked so gently, and just because he was Bryan, I told him. “I’m worried what will happen if I don’t do better on the SAT this time.”
“You’ll do better,” he said confidently. “You’ve been studying so hard.”
“Maybe.” I bit my lip.
“Definitely.”
“But what if I don’t score high enough to get the scholarship? All the studying, all the effort to try and make something of myself, none of it’ll mean shit if I end up falling short. I’ll end up just like my mom if the band doesn’t go anywhere.”
“Not likely.” Dropping his cigarette to the ground, Bryan closed the distance between us. His hands closed around my upper arms, branding my skin with heat.
“How can you be so sure?” Nerve endings all over my body short-circuiting from his touch, I met his eyes.
“I’m sure because I know you.” His gaze branded me every bit as much as his touch did. “You’re not your mother, Lace Lowell.”
Swaying closer, I wanted to believe him, wanted to float securely on the certainty I saw within his eyes. He was a buoy in my troubled waters, but only a temporary one.
Releasing me, he stepped away just out of reach.
Stupid, Lace. Tears pricked my eyes. He doesn’t want you.
We’d had an interlude when War and I had our break. Bryan could have made a move then if he’d wanted to, but he hadn’t. That was all over. I wouldn’t set myself up to be disappointed with him again. I needed to remember I was doing my own paddling in my own waters from now on.
“Thanks for the pep talk.” I straightened my spine. The water might rise too high, too fast, and I might drown, but I’d go under proudly. “I’d better go back inside and find War.”
“Not yet.” Bryan grabbed my arm.
I glanced down at his fingers on my skin, wishing things were different, wishing he would pull me into him, back me into the wall, crush his hard body into my willing one, and his mouth to mine. But wishes weren’t allowed, only cold hard facts and reality.
“Why not?” I shrugged free from his hold.
“Stay,” he said firmly. “Talk to me some more. Let’s get you in a better frame of mind.”
He might be able to achieve that feat. War certainly couldn’t. He thrived on me being strong and defying him, but he didn’t seem to know what to do with me when I was feeling uncertain.
“What’s the worst that would happen if you don’t get the scholarship?” Bryan asked.
My brow dipped. “I don’t go to college. I’ll have to find somewhere else to live, and I’ll have to get a job, one that pays better than the consignment shop.”
“You’ve given it some thought.”
“Yes.” Because of my brother, and now Bryan.
“What about the band?” he asked.
“My share from our gigs isn’t enough to pay rent.”
“War’s in there right now, probably negotiating with reps. There’s a good chance Tempest could get a record deal with some advance money.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“You’re just feeling lost because of Chad, and having legitimate doubts because of all the stress.” Bryan took my hands, anchoring me in more ways than one. “You’re talented, smart, and determined. You’re also an integral part of this band. Don’t sell yourself short. You’ll make it one way or another, and you don’t have to do it alone. Chad will come around. You have War. Your brother. Me, and all the guys in the band.”
War
“Not interested,” I said, and walked away on purpose, leaving three A&R agents with their mouths hanging open.
“Wait.” Vanessa, the pencil-thin rep from Black Cat Records, caught up to me before I’d cleared the end of the bar, and I turned to face her.
“Don’t waste my time. Unless you have a different answer for me than the other two.” I pointed with my chin to the reps from RCA and Zenith. With me gone, those two were now squaring off against each other.
“No, not different.” She peered over the lenses of her dark-rimmed glasses at me. “However, I have authorization to top whatever they offer you by fifty thousand.”
“RCA’s already at a hundred thousand.”
“Then Black Cat will go one fifty.”
“Fucking shit.” My eyes widened, my brows rising under the rolled bandanna tied around my head. Even split equally between everyone in the group, that was a lot of money. “But they want me to ditch Lace. Is that the way your offer comes too?”
“Yes.” Vanessa tucked a strand of blond hair behind her diamond-studded ear. “You have to realize that Lace doesn’t fit the band’s image.”
“Tempest doesn’t have an image. We’re just a bunch of musicians who play loud. The stage is our theater. Our music is our voice, a megaphone for other outcasts like us that society has shit on. A big fuck-you to the rest of the world who doesn’t understand. If you don’t like it, you can kiss our collective asses.”
“That’s it.” Vanessa didn’t even look offended. She actually smiled. “Bad-boy rocker is your image. You on lead epitomize it.” She gestured to me as if my headband, white T-shirt, faded jeans, and scuffed boots simply made her point.
“Lace is all that.” I narrowed my gaze. “She’s a badass.”
&nb
sp; “She is in her own way. She’s proficient on the keyboards, and she harmonizes well with you. But she’s lost onstage in a group with five guys. Her badass isn’t your brand of badass.” The Black Cat rep’s expression firmed. “Our offer doesn’t include her.”
“All right, I hear ya,” I said, tapping my chin as if considering. Though Vanessa had made some valid points, I didn’t concede anything. This was a game of negotiation. I’d done the dance with Kyle over drug-related shit. I knew how to play. “Guess I’ll just have to go back to RCA and see what they say when they hear what you’ve offered me.”
She gasped as I turned around and nearly ran over Dizzy.
Before I could ask him how long he’d been standing there, he glared at me and grabbed my arm. “Shut it. Come into my office.”
In a couple of jerky strides, we arrived at the men’s restroom. He shoved me inside, following right behind me.
Pissed, I wheeled around. No one got away with manhandling me.
We squared off in the middle of the black-and-white checkered floor between a bunch of urinals and sinks. The couple of guys we’d interrupted wisely zipped up their flies and got the fuck out of there.
Arms stiff, his hands in fists, Dizzy lowered his chin and glared at me. “You are not brokering a deal on the group’s behalf that excludes my sister.”
“You’re right. I’m not.” My eyes were as bright as his, a ball of fury burning inside me. I could see my reflection in the mirror over his shoulder. How dare he question me about my group?
“Huh?” He shook his head. “I think I misheard you.”
“You only heard what Vanessa said. You missed my part. I’m in the process of negotiating with her and the rest of those arrogant fuckers out there.”
“All three major labels want us?” he asked, his expression changing from anger to incredulousness so fast, it was almost comical.
“They want us, but not Lace.” When he frowned in response to my explanation, I said, “Before you get all huffy, you should know that’s not what I want.”
Dizzy studied me a long moment. Seeing the truth as well as hearing it, he relaxed his frown. “Good.”
Southside High Page 20
