Mary

by Peggy McKenzie

  “I don’t think my age is relevant to getting to know a young woman I have a lot in common with. We’re just friends, but I will admit I enjoy her company immensely.”

  “It doesn’t. I’m just curious, that’s all. You’ve never talked about yourself much. I don’t even know when your birthday is. Or your real name. You tell everyone to call you Doc. I’m just wondering if you’re going to be more forthcoming about yourself to this new friend of yours?”

  Hope’s comment hit home, and he realized he’d had the same reservations. If he and Mary grew to be very good friends, she’d naturally be curious about his story. His past. Just like he’d been curious about hers which led to her reunion with her brother. But his story would have no happy ending and he refused to dredge of the past to satisfy curiosity in the name of idle conversation.

  “This woman and I, we’re just friends. Any suggestion there is something in the future for us is ridiculous. I’m not the marrying kind, remember? She’s a nice woman and she’s been through a lot and I believe we have an understanding of one another, but that’s all there is and I can assure you, that’s all there can be between us.”

  Hope cut a side look at him and he knew she didn’t believe a word he was saying, but she didn’t know his history. At least she didn’t question him anymore about it. “Alright, Doc. It’s your story. Tell it like you want to, but just know that if things change and you do find you have feelings for this woman, there may come a time when you’ll have to share yourself with her. And I don’t mean share yourself on a physical level. I mean you are going to have to rip away those layers you hide behind and share the real you with her. Otherwise, she’ll drift away from you just like I suspect whoever broke your heart did.”

  He refused to meet Hope’s observant gaze. Hope thought his heart had been broken by a woman. He supposed, in a way, it had been. Two to be exact. Let her think what she wanted to think. “Your advice is duly noted, now can you stop your inquisition? I don’t want to be late for dinner.”

  “I’ll leave you to your toiletries, Doc. Lock the door behind me. I’ve got to get home and see what Billy and my children have done to my house today. I swear that man is more child than our children are.”

  He heard her amusement in the admonishment of her husband, but he knew Hope loved that man more than life itself. He was a big kid at heart, but that big kid could turn deadly if someone messed with his family. And he’d take a bullet for any one of them. And had.

  Hope grabbed her cloak and medical satchel and left the office, but she didn’t go far. Instead, she stood just on the outside of his office door, grinning at him from the other side of the glass window. He shook his head and then locked the door and pulled the shade down on her. Hope was a very smart woman. Too smart sometimes.

  He looked at the clock. “Damn, I’ve got to hurry.” He thought about his unexpected morning walk with Mary while he shucked his clothes and poured water from the porcelain pitcher into the washbowl. It was cold and the pitcher was only half full, but he didn’t have time to go get more water, so he made do with what he had. A quick swipe with water and soap, and he washed away the day’s dirt and smells.

  Thirty minutes later, he was standing on the Hanover front porch. He raised his hand for a quick knock to let someone know he had arrived, but before his fist reached the door it swung open and he could see the house was full of people.

  “Come in, Doc Howard. We’ve been expecting you.” Charity let him in. Her husband, Miles Grayson, the sheriff of Creede, greeted him with a crystal glass half full of a rich, amber-colored liquid. The tall lawman bent down and whispered while he shoved the glass in Doc’s hand, “You’re gonna need this, my friend. Might wanna take a long sip now before you head on in to the parlor there.”

  He glanced up and frowned at the sheriff. “Why do I need this? I’m just here for dinner—”

  “Ah, there you are. If I’d known you were coming here for dinner, I would have waited on you at the office and had Billy and the children meet me here.” He turned to see Hope standing in the parlor doorway, and she was grinning from ear to ear. As he’d said many times before, the woman was just too smart for his own good.

  She stepped back from the parlor door and motioned for him to follow. He sent a look of gratitude to Sheriff Grayson and took the man’s advice. He tipped the glass up and emptied it. He didn’t usually drink for fear he’d be needed for an emergency at a moment’s notice. But he had the distinct feeling to make it through tonight, he was gonna need the liquid courage.

  Finished, he handed the empty glass to the lawman. “And if I need more?”

  “There’s plenty of the good stuff in Hiram’s library,” Miles whispered.

  “Good to know.” He turned to find Hope still grinning at him. She wasn’t going to make this evening easy for him, was she? When she met him at the door, she didn’t say a word about her suspicions. Instead, she took his arm and escorted him into the room without another word and every occupant in the room turned in his direction. “Attention, everyone, Doc’s here.” He felt as if every person in the room could read his mind the minute he entered the room. And for the first time in years, he felt himself blush with embarrassment.

  Chapter 9

  Mary couldn’t believe all the family Liam had accumulated and that they were all here tonight. Aggie and Hiram Hanover were just the beginning. There was Liam’s wife, Faith. She was as kind as she was beautiful, and Mary could see exactly why her brother had fallen in love with her. And it must have been fate that brought them together for Faith was also an orphan and she had three adopted sisters. Grace, who was married to John, and their children. Hope, who worked for Doc as a midwife, and her husband Billy, and their children. Then there was Charity, a stunning redhead. Mary wished she was as beautiful as the woman they all lovingly referred to as the crazy one. Her husband was the sheriff, Miles. Tall and handsome to be sure, but something told Mary the man had his hands full with that wife of his.

  She had spent the last half hour trying to keep everyone straight. Which husband and which child belonged to which sister. The room grew more crowded as each family arrived and Mary was feeling the anxiety of the crush. Perhaps she should step outside on the front porch and wait for Doc. She always felt better when he was around. Less anxious.

  Mary had finally made the decision to wait outside and had made her excuses when a commotion at the parlor door announced another arrival, and Hope’s voice told her it was exactly who she needed to see.

  “Attention, everyone, Doc’s here.” Mary watched as she hooked her arm in his and pulled him into the room. The sight of her handsome rescuer caused a shiver of excitement that seemed to diminish some of her anxiety. What was it about the man that had that effect on her? She wanted to rush to his side and grab his arm away from Hope and hug him close, but she doubted anyone would understand her reasons behind her actions. Everyone would assume that the two of them—

  “You two haven’t seen each other since Mary arrived in town. I’m sure you have a lot to talk about.” Hope tugged on Mary’s hand and wrapped it around Doc’s arm just like she’d wanted to do. It was as if the woman could read her mind, but of course that was not possible.

  Mary tried not to blush with all eyes on her and Doc, but she felt her face heating with embarrassment. She hated her pale skin at moments like this.

  Her brother left his wife’s side and came to join her and Doc where they stood in the middle of the room. “Hello, Doc. I didn’t know you’d be joining us tonight.” Her brother’s comment held no judgment when he spoke to Doc, but his gaze was on the place she was clinging to his friend’s arm.

  “Yes, well, I was invited to dinner tonight, but I didn’t know it was going to be a family affair. Perhaps, I should—”

  Mary was afraid he was going to leave, and she needed him to get through tonight. “Liam, I invited Doc to join us. After all, he’s my friend as well, and I wanted him to be here. Besides, if it wasn’t for him, we
probably wouldn’t be having this family get-together, now would we?” she blurted the words, which sounded defensive even to her own ears.

  “Of course I’m happy you invited him, Mary. I would have done so myself had I taken the time to think about it. And you are right. He’s the reason you are here with your family tonight.”

  She heard the emphasis her brother put on the word family and knew he was trying to remind her that he thought she belonged here with this family and not the Ute family she left in the mountains.

  “Yes, of course,” she said. There wasn’t any point in getting into that discussion tonight. Besides, she wasn’t ready to leave just yet. She wanted more time to get to know her extended family members and the man standing beside her.

  “Dinner is ready,” Aggie called out from the parlor doorway.

  “Excellent news.” Hiram’s big voice boomed out over the crowd silencing them all at once. “I suggest you all make your way to the dining room. I’m not known for my self-restraint when it comes to good food.” Everyone laughed at Hiram’s proclamation and turned to leave as instructed.

  Her brother leaned closer. “He’s not kidding you know.”

  Doc laughed when he heard her brother’s comment. “Don’t I know it.” Then he and her brother bookended her and escorted her to the dining room behind all the other guests while regaling her with stories of Mr. Hanover’s abundant appetite—for both food and good Irish whiskey.

  Taking a seat between Doc and Liam, Mary was amazed as dinner began at everyone’s enthusiasm for not just the conversation, but the food as well. And having already developed an appreciation for the delicious fare the Hanovers served their guests, she joined in. When she finally did return to the Utes, she would definitely miss the spices used to liven up meals.

  After thoroughly enjoying each course, and with everyone’s appetites completely sated, they all sat sipping on port wine. Muted conversations hummed like bees around a hive. And Mary was glad to have everyone’s attention on something else besides her for a change.

  “Are you alright?” Doc whispered.

  She took a deep breath and sighed. “Yes. And no.”

  “Is something wrong?” Liam’s keen hearing and close proximity made it impossible for her to have a conversation with Doc without her brother overhearing. It was starting to irritate her. “No, Liam. Nothing’s wrong.” She tried to temper the sharpness of her reply.

  “Then why did Doc ask if you were alright? Is there something I should know? If there’s something amiss, I should know about it, don’t you think?” Her brother’s tone rose with each word he said. Mary saw his wife reach out and touch his arm. He sat back in his chair and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, everyone. It’s just that I am thrilled my sister has been returned to me, and I don’t want to waste this second chance with her. I’m just so afraid that I’ll let her down—again. Like I did before.”

  “Liam, I’ve already told you. You didn’t let me down. You didn’t. But you have to understand that I’m not that little girl anymore. I’m a grown woman and you can’t keep me under lock and key because it makes you feel better.” Mary looked around at the faces of the people who were now part of her family even though at the moment they all felt like strangers . . . no, they were strangers. “Everyone, please understand. I am so grateful to you all for taking my brother into your family. Thank you for caring for him,”—she turned and reached across her brother’s plate to grasp hold of his wife’s hand—“and for loving him. I can never thank you enough.”

  Faith squeezed her hand in return and then glanced lovingly at Liam.

  “You’ve all had some time to come to grips with this family you created. Years in fact. But I’ve only had a few days to live among you, and while you are all wonderful and kind to me, I had fourteen years with my Ute family. I miss them. I miss our way of life. I miss the outdoors. I miss my clothes that are so much more comfortable than these things.” Mary punched at the tight corset squeezing her full stomach. The sound of her hand against the corset thudded around the room. “I know it must seem ungrateful of me to want to leave at all, but you must understand that I’m uneasy here. And all of this confinement is causing me to feel smothered. I’m used to wide-open spaces and going where I wish, when I wish. Surely, you can all understand how strange all of this is to me.”

  Tears burned as her emotions stirred. This was the last thing she wanted to do tonight, but somehow she couldn’t seem to keep her frustrations at bay. She glanced at her brother and she could tell by his dejected expression, she was hurting him with her words and that was the last thing she wanted to do.

  The redheaded sister called Charity spoke up. “Mary, we do understand how you feel. At least I do.” She glanced around the table and then back to Mary. “I have always walked at a different pace than everyone else. I was adopted so I don’t know my background, but I do know that it is important for your happiness to be who you are even if people don’t understand you and they criticize you for being . . . different. Different can be good even if they might call you crazy, isn’t that right, Miles?”

  The handsome lawman leaned over and kissed Charity with gusto. “That’s right, you crazy redhead. Different has certainly made my life more exciting.”

  Everyone around the table laughed and Mary felt better about feeling so out of place.

  “If I may say something?” Doc spoke out. When no one said anything, he continued. “As you all know, I’ve spent a good amount of time with the Utes and I understand what Mary is trying to say.”

  Liam turned on Doc. “What are you saying, that you want her to leave us and go back to the Utes.”

  Doc faced her brother. “Of course not, but I am trying to offer a solution that could benefit everyone. You believe that Mary would be better off here, with you.”

  She didn’t know where Doc was going with this, but she was willing to listen.

  “That’s right. She would be better here with me and our family,” Liam insisted.

  “But that’s because you see the benefits of living in town because that’s where you feel comfortable. You are in control here.”

  “What’s wrong with that? At least here I can protect my sister. I can’t . . . out there.”

  “And that’s exactly the problem. You see this situation from your perspective. But Mary doesn’t view living with the Utes in the same way. You see it as dangerous. She sees it as safe and reliable. You see it as wild and unpredictable. Mary sees it as home.”

  “But, she isn’t a Ute and I think if she would just give us time, she would grow to see us as the only family she needs.”

  “How long have you had to build this family, Liam? How long? Fifteen . . . sixteen years?”

  “Yeah, I guess about that long.”

  “Mary’s had a week. And she’s only just met everyone tonight. That’s a lot to take in all at once, don’t you think? Up until now, she’s spent the last fourteen years doing the same thing as you have. She found a safe place among people who treated her with kindness. Just like you here with the Hanovers and Faith. You have carved out a life with that family over the last sixteen years. Mary spent the last fourteen years carving out the same kind of life with the Utes. She had a mother and a father, and I dare say she had Ute brothers and sisters. Am I wrong?”

  Doc turned his attention to her. She shook her head. “No, you are not wrong. I had two brothers and three sisters.”

  Then Doc focused on her brother again. “Liam, can’t you give Mary the time to learn to love this place and the people around this table like you did? She isn’t used to sitting at a table with a pristine white tablecloth, eating off china, and drinking out of crystal goblets. Her bed was made of pine boughs and bearskins. She’s not just getting used to new people in her life. She’s getting used to a whole new way of life. It’s as if she’s been kidnapped from her family all over again. Can’t you see that?”

  Mary couldn’t believe how well Doc understood her feelings. It was as
if he’d had the same experiences. Had he, she wondered?

  The room was silent and the only sounds were the muted voices coming from the kitchen staff and the rattle of dishes.

  Liam finally reached out and pulled her hand into his. Then, he pulled it to his lips and kissed it. “Mary. My dear sweet, little sister. I’m sorry I haven’t been more sensitive to your situation. I can’t say I understand everything you are going—you have gone through, but I do understand what it’s like to start over without one’s family. I’ve done it once,”—he turned and looked lovingly at his wife—“and I don’t ever want to do it again.” He turned back to her. “Mary, what can we do to help you feel more at home here? Name it. Anything at all.”

  Mary squeezed his hand and then pulled out of her brother’s grasp. “I don’t know what the answer is, Liam. I truly don’t. I just feel like I’m suffocating.”

  “I have a thought,” Doc offered.

  Everyone turned to him, including Mary. She remembered what he said this morning when he left her on the Hanovers’ back steps.

  “I think Mary should spend a little more time with me.”

  Doc cringed as his misspoken words reached his ear. He had practiced his speech in his head all day while he was caring for his patients hence the smile Hope kept referring to, but this? This was not at all what he had intended to say.

  The silence around the room was deafening and the shocked look on Mary’s face was nothing compared to the angry look on her brother’s.

  “Pardon me?” Liam glared at him and then at Mary.

  “I have no idea why I said it that way. What I meant was, Mary has a passion for gathering herbs, roots, wild plants that have a medicinal purpose—just like I do. And, she’s used to being outdoors in wide-open spaces. I was thinking that since she trusts me, perhaps she would be more at ease in that kind of environment in which she’s already comfortable until she becomes more comfortable with this one.” Doc nodded to the elaborate table covered in white linens, crystal, silver, and porcelain.