by Riley Knight
Of course, he was still on the clock. He was still protecting Christian. But he could do that while he brought him to ecstasy over and over again.
Finally, when they both needed it more than they needed to breathe, Mark slid a condom onto himself and took the lube, slicking himself up fully before he slid inside of him.
“Just in case,” Christian had whispered just a few minutes before, pressing them into his hands. Mark was touched. Christian had brought the supplies, and apparently just in case they fell into bed together.
This whole time, Mark had assumed that Christian had just moved on, but he hadn’t. No more than Mark himself had.
Damn it! It was about more than just sex. It would be easier if all Mark wanted from Christian was exactly what he was getting, his tight body wrapped around Mark’s cock, but he wanted so much more.
He wanted Christian to be his.
Gazing down into those gorgeous eyes, he had to admit the truth, at least to himself. He wanted to protect Christian, but not just because it was his job. He wanted to take care of him in ways that a bodyguard didn’t.
He was so screwed, wasn’t he? Hadn’t the point of going to bed together been that they would get this all out of their systems? It clearly hadn’t worked. If anything, Christian had slid his way into Mark’s heart far too easily.
If Mark didn’t know better, he would say he was falling in love.
Closing his eyes, he focused on the pleasure. On kissing Christian, on touching him, on drawing pleasure from his gorgeous body. That’s what this was, he assured himself. Sex. Sex and feeling good, for both of them.
Only after he had that pleasure, after he’d made them both come, he couldn’t be so sure about that. He still felt the same as he had before, that Christian could mean far too much to him. Maybe that he even did already.
Still, there was no excuse for what he did.
As they drifted off together into a light nap in the middle of the afternoon, when Mark was slightly dazed with sleep and sex and emotion, and when he was pretty sure that Christian was asleep, he leaned in to whisper very quietly in his ear.
“I love you.”
It wasn’t the right thing to do, and it wasn’t fair. Not to either of them. But it was true. And for one time only, he wanted to be able to say it. If he had any luck at all, Christian wouldn’t hear him at all.
Except that, just before Mark’s eyes fell closed, he could almost swear that he saw Christian smile and heard him murmur, “I love you, too,” right back to him.
* * *
Mark woke up before Christian did. He had noticed that the kid loved his sleep. Or maybe it was just that Mark had worn him out so thoroughly that he needed to catch up, to recharge.
Meanwhile, Mark felt great. He was trained to deal with very little sleep, and the time he’d spent with Christian earlier had fully recharged him. He was ready to go.
First, he ordered some food for them both. They hadn’t exactly stopped to eat, and Mark was starving. He could only imagine how Christian, with the appetite of a much younger man, would feel when he woke up.
Only then did he reach for his cell phone, only to find several messages from the head of the security guards. They reported to Mark, of course, but through this guy, Steve.
Mostly, they were just the normal things that he would respect. Reports and the like. Mark read them, but they didn’t really tend to say anything all that interesting, really.
There were a few things of note, the biggest of which that one of the security guards had come down with a pretty severe case of bronchitis. He’d had to go home to rest and recover, so they’d need to find someone to take his place.
Ugh, what a mess. Mark didn’t feel like trying to replace someone on the fly like this. But luckily, Steve had a cousin who was a trained security guard and who might just be able to bail them out.
Mark shot back a text saying that would be fine, though of course, he’d need to meet the guy, first. Then he put his phone down as the room service arrived, making sure that he was fully clothed, of course, and that Christian, still sleeping in the bed, was covered with the blankets.
There could be no sign of the things they’d done in this room. Mark’s job was to guard Christian’s body, yes, to keep him safe from harm, but he’d also always taken that further.
With Christian specifically, he wanted to protect his reputation, too. He’d been there when Christian performed, and he’d seen how much the young man clearly loved it. He wasn’t going to let anything happen that could take that away from him.
That was probably part of being in love.
Despite all of his hard work over the years, he had never been as invested in anyone as he was in Christian. He was starting to think that there really wasn’t anything that he wouldn’t do for him.
With the food on the hotel room table, Mark went over to Christian and gently, carefully started to wake him up.
It seemed almost a crime to do so, but the sun was going to be setting fairly soon and it would probably be a good idea for Christian not to turn completely nocturnal.
“Wake up, baby,” Mark said. He probably shouldn’t be calling him that, he supposed, but he liked it.
“No,” Christian said. “You should come back to bed.” The young man’s voice was adorably deepened with sleep, and he poked his head up from the pillow and peered at Mark in an incredibly endearing way.
“Nope,” Mark said, somehow managing to resist. Because going back to bed, even after the marathon sex session, did sound pretty damn amazing. They’d done a lot already, of course, but Mark was starting to think that he would always be up for more, when it came to Christian. “I brought food. Wake up.”
Well, that seemed to get Christian’s attention, anyway. He sat up and stretched, before looking hopefully at Mark.
“Food?” he asked, and Mark chuckled as he brought him a plate over.
“Yeah. Food.” Mark grabbed his own plate next, then settled down to eat.
There was silence for a few moments, and then Christian broke it.
“So … do you want to go out to a movie tonight?”
Go out? Mark blinked. That sounded dangerously like a date. Exactly the sort of thing that Mark was supposed to stop Christian from doing, if he wanted to preserve the young man’s reputation.
“I don’t think …” Mark started, and Christian sighed at him and gave him a look.
“Okay, how about this? I’m going out to a movie, and if you want to protect me, I guess you’ll just have to come with me.”
Mark shook his head, but couldn’t stop himself from chuckling a little bit. Damn, this young man was good at getting his way. He gave a little bit of a shrug and surrendered to the inevitable.
“Okay,” he agreed, finishing up his food and stacking up the dishes to be collected up while they were gone. “Let’s go watch a movie together, then.”
Chapter Ten
Christian
A date. He was on a date, and with another man. And not only that, but there could be no doubt that it had been his idea, too.
Oh, the fiction he’d built where he had told Mark that he had to go with him, he knew that they both knew that it was nothing but that, a fiction. It was the story he’d had to tell in order to make it okay for them to go out together.
If anyone asked, that would be the official story. But as much as Christian would like to believe his own lie, he couldn’t. He wanted to go out with Mark. He wanted to be around him.
It had been bad enough when he’d wanted to have sex with the guy. To want more than that, to want something like, dare he say it, a relationship, that was a whole new level and one that he wasn’t even remotely sure how to begin to deal with.
So he didn’t.
Instead, feeling a little bit guilty and a lot reckless, Christian walked out of the hotel room where he had spent so much amazing time with Mark. He boldly walked down the hallway, his chin high, refusing to look as guilty as he felt.
; He hoped.
Part of him felt like he was wearing his emotions on his face. That it would be obvious to anyone who looked at him that he was having some pretty intense feelings for his bodyguard, who very properly followed him a few steps back.
No one looked.
He passed people he knew. Some of the sound guys, the lighting tech, all guys that he’d chatted with before. Would they read his secret on his face? Surely they would, and then the world would know …
But no one did more than just casually nod and wave at him, or murmur a brief hello. When Christian searched their faces, their eyes, he didn’t see any sign that they were judging him. Or that they even suspected that they had reason to.
They were just used to seeing Mark with Christian. After all, the bodyguard was always around him. Which led to some interesting possibilities. Was it maybe even possible that he could get away with this? That he and Mark could be together and no one would ever know?
It occurred to him that there were a great number of opportunities for a man and his bodyguard to find a lot of private time together. Maybe he didn’t have to fight this as hard as he had been doing. Maybe neither of them had to.
They stepped outside the hotel, and Christian looked around. This was an unplanned outting, and it didn’t seem like there were any photographers anywhere. There was a cab right there, and it was so easy for him to just slip into it, and for Mark to follow him.
This was fun. Dangerous, maybe. No, definitely. But he knew that Mark would protect him. He honestly didn’t feel safe anywhere as much as he did with this man.
They both behaved. Christian told the cab driver to take them to a movie theater, and Mark didn’t say anything at all, he just loomed beside Christian like he was supposed to do. They didn’t touch. They didn’t even look at each other.
Despite all of that, Christian felt almost giddy. It was strange. He had gone his whole life without seriously considering dating another man, but Mark came along and suddenly Christian was doing more than considering. He was actually planning out if it could even work or not.
If it could be secret, he realized, with a little bit of surprise at the revelation, then maybe he wouldn’t mind the idea at all.
* * *
In the movie theater, Christian sat beside his date, and while the lights were on, he continued to be good. But once they went off, it pretty much felt like it was just him and Mark, alone in the dark, and he couldn’t help himself. He needed to touch Mark.
So he was a little bit brave. No one would ever know. No one could see. Besides, he was subtle about it. He just reached out and took Mark’s hand, linking their fingers together. It would be hidden not only by the lack of light, but by their bodies.
Mark shot him a surprised look, and Christian half expected that the older man would take his hand away. He didn’t. Christian wasn’t entirely sure why, but he was grateful for that.
There was only one moment that made Christian’s heart freeze in his chest. During a particularly loud scene, a car explosion that lit up the theater with bright light once more, someone stood up and walked up the aisle, coming from the only angle that Christian figured his hand linked with Mark’s could be seen.
Did he see? The guy seemed absorbed with his phone, his eyes cast toward it, and the light only shone on them for a few brief seconds.
The stranger didn’t so much as pause. He walked toward the doors and out them, and Christian let out a shaky sigh. He was paranoid. Hiding things just didn’t agree with him.
It was clearly just some guy who was going to the bathroom in the middle of a movie. Or maybe, since he’d been staring at his phone, he had gotten some sort of important phone call that he had to deal with.
The guy hadn’t even looked at him, as far as Christian could tell.
So he settled down and tried to calm himself as he kept watching the movie. The whole thing had been nothing, and he wasn’t going to let it ruin the first date that he’d had in a long time, and the only one that was with someone who had really meant something to him.
Something about the guy had been familiar. Though it had been so dark, and the flash of light from the screen had been fairly brief. So he put the thought out of his head and focused on Mark, and on the movie.
* * *
Christian knew that he would remember this tour for the rest of his life.
It was the most amazing thing that had ever happened to him. Not only was he becoming addicted to the cheers of the crowd, to the way they screamed and stretched for him as he danced above them on the stage, but as they made their way from city to city, to sold out venue after sold out venue, he was falling in love, and with more than just stardom.
Christian had always sort of assumed he wasn’t the sort of guy who was meant to be in love. It had always been fine with him. Love wasn’t required for sex, after all. He loved his friends, of course, and that had always been good enough for him.
What he was feeling for Mark was different, though. Like he would do anything for him, to be with him. Like he couldn’t ever get enough.
Ever since they fell into bed again, it was like they couldn’t stop. Every night, they were on each other until they both fell asleep, exhausted. And every night, Mark slept in Christian’s bed, the other man’s arms tight around him.
Of course, it was much safer for Christian to have Mark right there. To his annoyance, he knew that Mark never would have gone for it otherwise. Christian had always been the sort of guy who liked having a good time, but it was almost like Mark didn’t even know how to relax.
Well, hopefully Christian could help him with that, at least a little.
As the days passed, as they turned into weeks and then months, and as Eternity made its way through the country, Christian found himself getting more and more enthralled with Mark.
He had sort of hoped that he would get over it quickly. That this crush, which he hoped was all that it was, would run its course and then he and Mark could hopefully just pretend that none of this had ever happened.
Instead, he found himself getting deeper and deeper. Life without Mark no longer seemed like the best option. And Christian could swear that Mark felt something similar, too. Sometimes when the other man held him after they made love, Christian saw something in his eyes, something that suggested to him that this wasn’t just a fling for Mark, either.
Which just made things that much more dangerous.
They were hiding things, for now. Sometimes, Briana shot them a thoughtful look that made Christian wonder just how much she suspected, but she never said anything. Everyone else seemed completely oblivious.
But as time went on, no one had to tell Christian that it would be harder and harder to hide what he and Mark were to each other. At least for Christian, who had never been all that good at hiding his emotions.
The best thing to do would be to cut this off before it got to be even more intense than it already was, but Christian didn’t even know how to start doing that. Not when his body and heart craved Mark like they’d never wanted anyone.
Christian cautioned himself not to fall too hard. This couldn’t last. It wasn’t possible. The most it could be was a short fling, because every time they were together, the risk of someone finding out increased.
So Christian did his best to control himself. He made sure to still spend a lot of time with his friends and band mates, and he laughed and joked with them as usual. They still made jokes about how he slept with every girl who was into it, and he let them.
It wasn’t true, of course. He hadn’t been with anyone but Mark since before the very first time that they had been together. He wasn’t about to explain that to anyone, though.
Still, he was going to have to call an end to this sooner or later, wasn’t he? Wouldn’t it be better to do it sooner, rather than later, when he was even more attached than he already was?
The only thing was, he couldn’t make himself do it. Not when he still wanted Mark so badly.
* *
*
They started the tour in California, and that’s where it ended, too. The last show was scheduled to be right back in Los Angeles, and as they got closer to that, Christian got more and more excited about the idea of it being over.
When they’d started the tour, it had been winter, and now, six months later, it was fully into summer. When they’d started, Christian had been terrified of his feelings for Mark. Now, he felt like he almost couldn’t live without him.
Of course, that was terrifying, too.
The band was done. Christian, too. He was ready to have a bit of a break from the glitz and glamour and the hard work of touring. Everyone was ready for a rest, and that was going to happen very soon.
They’d just practiced, and it had been a lazy sort of thing. After all, they’d been playing almost every night for months now. They knew all of their songs in their sleep. It was only because they were all so dedicated and such professionals that they had bothered at all.
Still, it was a short practice, much shorter than usual. Mark had, for once, stepped away. He did that every so often to do various bodyguard things. Touch base with his boss at the agency. Take reports from the other security staff that had been hired for this tour. That sort of thing.
Christian knew that Mark wasn’t far. He also knew that Mark wouldn’t have gone anywhere if he’d known how short the practice would be. That was just how seriously that the man took his job. He’d been like that from the beginning.
Well, it was nice to have a bit of space to breathe. To try to focus on what he was going to do about this whole situation. How he was going to manage to keep his heart from getting broken any more than it was already going to be.
“Catch you later, man,” Nick said. He had his arm around Briana, who looked happier than Christian had ever seen her look before. They bickered all the time, and were constantly playing pranks and things on each other, but there was no doubt in Christian’s mind that they were crazy about each other.
