by Riley Knight
“See ya,” Christian said, still fiddling with his guitar. One of the strings didn’t feel quite right, and when he tried to tune it, it suddenly snapped.
No big deal. He had extra strings. Besides, it was sort of comforting to settle down and just focus on restringing his guitar. It was familiar, the sort of task he could do in his sleep.
A shadow fell over him as he worked, and he glanced up, a smile on his face. He was sort of half expecting for it to be one of his friends, maybe even Mark, and he would have been glad to see any of them.
But the man who was standing there was almost a stranger.
Christian had seen him around. One of the security guys, he figured. Probably someone that Mark had sent to watch over Christian. After all, Mark did have other things to do now and then that had nothing to do with Christian.
“Hey,” Christian said, smiling despite the fact that he didn’t entirely feel easy. Which was ridiculous. This man had been hired to help protect the band. But he was watching Christian out of the most intense pair of green eyes. Intensity seemed to be sort of par for the course for these sorts of people, though.
“Here’s what you’re going to do,” the man said. There was something about him that seemed nervous somehow. But in those strange, familiar eyes, there was a sort of manic light that suggested high exhilaration, too.
“You’re going to call your agent and ask for a new bodyguard,” the guy continued on. “You’re going to tell him that you want me to take over the job.”
Christian blinked at him. He wasn’t even angry, not at first, just bewildered.
“Why would I do that?” he asked, and his tone came out as mildly curious, because he was. There was no way in hell he was going to do as he was told, and he had no idea why this stranger would think that he would.
“Because I’ll ruin you, and I’ll ruin him, if you don’t,” the man said, a little bit of a smirk twisting his thin lips. He wasn’t the sort of man who would normally stand out. Tall enough, yes, and muscular enough, to do his job, but with the sort of face that most people would just gloss over when they looked at him.
Except those eyes, which were burning.
“Oh?” Christian said, and though he was fighting for composure, he was glad to hear that his voice was still nice and smooth and calm when it came out. “And how, exactly, are you going to do that?”
The man chuckled softly, then pulled out a cell phone. It was already opened onto a picture, one that made every ounce of blood in Christian’s body feel like it had been turned to ice in his veins.
It was a picture of him and Mark at a movie theater. Their first date, all of those months ago. Where they’d held hands.
That moment was frozen in place on the screen, and their linked fingers were far too clear.
Christian remembered, suddenly, the moment when he’d thought he was being paranoid. He looked into this man’s face, and saw that it was the same. No, it hadn’t been paranoia.
God, he’d been such an idiot.
“There’s more,” the guy said, his tone conversational. He didn’t seem as nervous anymore. Probably because he knew that he had Christian, that there was no way that anyone could see that picture and not know he and Mark were together.
And there were more, just as he said. Christian’s hands clenched into fists as he saw the pictures on the man’s phone.
There had been times when Christian had felt like he was being watched, but he was so unused to celebrity that he’d always discounted those feelings. But from all of those times, there was a picture. And from times, too, when he’d had no idea he was being watched.
All of them were incriminating. Even on their own, they could ruin him. Taken as a group, they were nothing short of devastating. No one looking at them could mistake what was going on.
The worst one was taken in an elevator. The quality was poor, clearly taken from a security camera. In it, Christian saw himself stretched up on his tiptoes, giving Mark a kiss right on the lips, their arms around each other.
Damn it! Christian tried to clear his head, but panic kept wanting to take him over.
“So you’re going to fire him,” the man said, withdrawing his phone and tucking it safely away in his pocket. “And you’re going to hire me. And there’s more things you’re going to do for me, too.”
Christian just stared at him. All of a sudden, these threats that the man was making weren’t idle. He groaned softly, rubbing at his face, but really, he wasn’t sure what choice he had but to listen.
“What else do you want?” Christian asked, his voice dull.
“You’re going to drop the charges against Allen. And you’re going to give us both a percentage of everything you make. And if you do that, these pictures will never find their way out into the world. If you don’t …”
Allen.
The guy who had broken into Christian’s house. The guy with the green eyes. No wonder this guy looked familiar. He had the exact same eyes.
“Allen … you’re related to him,” Christian realized. It had to be. They didn’t look that similar, but those unusual eyes gave it away. Well, that and this guy cared far too much about the whole situation.
“Yeah. I’m Shawn, his brother,” the guy said. “And you’re going to get him out of trouble. Say it wasn’t him that broke into your house. If it doesn’t work, you’re going to pay for the best lawyer that money can buy.”
Christian looked at the door hopefully. Wasn’t it possible that Mark would come in at any time? Help him with this impossible decision?
“He’s not coming,” Shawn said calmly. “I made sure of that. Right now he’s breaking up a fight.”
A fight that Shawn, no doubt, had started, damn him.
“I won’t do it,” Christian said suddenly. “I don’t give a shit anymore. Let people know. I love him.”
It felt strange to say the words out loud, and, for some reason, they just made the asshole smirk.
“Good. That makes this even better,” Shawn purred. “But you are going to do it, and you know why? If you don’t care about your own career and your own reputation, I’m willing to bet that you care about his. He could easily get fired if this came out.”
Christian stared at him, feeling like he’d been punched in the gut. Hard. Shawn was right. Mark could lose his job, and Christian knew just how much that working meant to Mark.
“Shit,” he whispered, while Shawn laughed at him, delighted by his dismay.
Chapter Eleven
Mark
Mark loved his job. He really did. And he especially loved it these days, since his relationship with Christian was getting better all the time.
What he did not like was breaking up fights. If he wanted to be a bouncer, he would have signed up for that job.
How these guys had gotten in, he didn’t even know. Security should have stopped them before they got onto the floor of the hotel where Christian was staying. But they had gotten there, two guys, and they seemed determined to kill each other for the privilege of getting to Christian first.
Damn fanboys.
The whole time, something felt off. Something bugged Mark about the whole thing. But he wrestled the guys apart, because what else was he supposed to do? This was part of his job. His instincts, though, were telling him that they weren’t the real threat.
He needed to get back to Christian. Everything in him was screaming at him that something was wrong, and those weren’t the sorts of instincts that he’d gotten as far as he had by ignoring.
Just as he’d gotten the two guys settled, restrained while they waited for the police, his phone buzzed in his pocket.
Mark honestly expected it to be Christian, given how he was suddenly feeling, but it wasn’t. He could tell right away from the call display that it was his boss back at the agency. He’d just spoken to the guy earlier today, and he couldn’t imagine what else he had to say.
“Yes?” he asked, not sure he had a great feeling about this. Certain, in f
act, that something bad was about to happen.
“You have a new job,” the man said. His voice was strangely serious, and Mark shook his head and frowned.
“I already have a job,” he protested.
“No, you don’t,” was the reply. “The kid says that you’re not a good match with him. You’re too serious. Cramp his style too much.” Mark could practically see the other man shrugging as he spoke. “No big deal. It happens. You’re a big guy. Intimidating. We’ll find you something where that sort of thing is needed.”
Mark leaned against the wall, his face suddenly slack, the strength, all of it, it seemed, draining out of his muscles. Christian. Christian had essentially fired him, and without any warning at all.
He must have been quiet for too long, because his boss spoke again.
“Look, you’re not in trouble or anything. The kid said that you were damn good at your job and he paid your contract out. I guess he just wanted to party more and he felt like you got in the way of that. It sucks to lose him, but whatever. There are other young celebrities. Besides, if he’s that reckless, he’s probably not a good person for us, anyway.”
Mark took a deep breath, then quietly, he hung the phone up. Fired. He’d never been fired in his life. He’d walked away from jobs, he’d retired, or he’d chosen not to renew the contract. It was always his choice.
Staring down the hallway at the closed door that he knew led to Christian’s room, he tried to feel angry. The least that the younger man could have done would be to fire him in person. But maybe it was better this way.
No doubt Christian had sensed that Mark had been starting to feel pretty serious about Christian. That he’d started to harbor some pretty intense feelings for him. That he’d even wondered if there could possibly be some way that they could be together for real, and not have to hide it.
Why would Christian want that, though? What did Mark have to offer him? Christian had a life of fame and fortune, and he was young and beautiful and talented. The whole world could be his.
For a moment, just a moment, Mark considered just walking out. He considered it very seriously. Sure, he’d been fired and dumped in the same day, but he would have other jobs. Christian had at least made sure that Mark wouldn’t get in trouble.
Better, maybe, to just let this go.
Only something was off. Something more than his wounded pride, which was, he had to be honest, a factor. This was all too abrupt. Christian had shown no signs of wanting this to be over, and this was too sudden.
It wasn’t just a logic thing, either. His body was pumping with adreneline, ready to act. Ready to fight the threat.
Maybe something was up. Maybe his feelings were just hurt. Either way, he couldn’t talk himself out of it. He no longer had any right to be there, but he strode over to the room where Christian had been practicing and pushed the door open like he did.
Christian was there, looking pale but not all that startled to see Mark. He was stringing a guitar, and he only glanced up for a moment before looking right back down at it.
“Don’t do this, Mark,” Christian said, and there was strain in his voice. “Just go. We both knew this wasn’t going to work forever.”
Mark stalked over to him, and Christian refused to look at him again. That only made Mark more angry, and his hands clenched into fists at his side. He would never, ever hit Christian, of course, but he needed to get his anger out somehow, and better on his own body than an innocent wall.
“I thought we had something,” Mark said, his voice a thick, terrifying growl. “I thought this meant something to you.”
Christian finally looked up, and his eyes met Mark’s for just a second before shying away. Christian was terrified. Was Mark being that scary? Yes, he had to admit to himself, he probably was.
“You thought wrong. I got bored and moved on.” Christian shrugged, then tossed his long, wavy golden hair back. “You should do the same. Get out of here. Or I’ll have security escort you out.”
Everything was screaming at him that this was wrong. That something was going on. The hairs on the back of his neck, on his arms, were standing up on end. But all he saw was Christian, his beautiful boy, telling him to go. Denouncing him. Acting like they’d never had anything.
This was why he never got emotionally involved. He’d always sensed that, when he did, it would be life altering, and it turned out that he was right. It had put him into a situation like this, where he couldn’t even trust his own instincts anymore.
It was like there was a threat, but there was none. Other than the threat that Christian obviously was to his heart. But Mark’s instincts kept insisting that there was. That he needed to attack, that Christian was somehow in danger.
“Just go. Stop being pathetic. I can’t believe that you would even consider for a second that this could have worked out,” Christian said. His voice was cold, his eyes remote.
Just like Mark was nothing to him.
His instincts screamed at him to grab the boy. To kiss him, to remind him that he was his. But he’d never forced anyone, and besides, the fact of the matter was that Christian wasn’t his. No matter how much he wished otherwise.
He couldn’t bear it to have Christian call security on him. To have the guys that he’d been in control of only a few short hours ago know that he’d been so thoroughly disgraced.
What was there to do but leave? He glared at Christian, and wished he could hate him. Hatred would be so much easier to take than the uncomfortable mixture of anger and despair that he was feeling now.
So he kept his face blank and calm as he left the room. Everything in him screamed that he was making a mistake by leaving. The hallways of the hotel blurred around him with how fast he walked. At least it was only a short flight back to LA from here. At least no one seemed to notice that his heart was breaking as he walked out of the door and out of Christian’s life.
No one had to tell him what he was doing, though. He was slinking away, a stupid gay man who had allowed himself to do something ridiculous and fall in love with a straight guy. Or mostly straight, anyway.
It was really his own fault.
If Christian had wanted him, Mark would have fought for him to the ends of the earth. But Mark was, at heart, a protector. He knew he’d done the right thing in letting Christian go.
But then why did it feel so damn wrong?
* * *
Mark was glad that he’d kept his own place. That he still had somewhere to go, because he couldn’t imagine that he was welcome back at Christian’s house, though he still had all of the man’s keys and everything like that.
It was a huge security risk, of course, but he supposed that wasn’t his problem anymore. Whoever the new bodyguard was, it would be that guy’s problem, not Mark’s.
For once in his life, though, Mark did not go back to work.
He called his boss and told him he needed some vacation time. Honestly, the guy seemed a little relieved. Mark had saved up so much time over the couple of years that he’d been working there, he was more than entitled to some time off.
Being with Christian had ended up being a huge mistake, of course, but he’d learned things from it. Life could be more than work. Maybe it even should be. Sure, he’d gotten his heart broken, but in the time he’d been with Christian, he’d felt alive in ways that he hadn’t before.
So it was time to live a little before settling back down to work.
Part of it was that he couldn’t quite bear, not just yet, to take another client. Not until he’d gotten Christian out of his system.
So he went to the beach. He went to bars. He even went to nightclubs, where he was sure he was the oldest one there, but where beautiful young men didn’t seem to mind that at all.
He never slept with any of them. He never so much as kissed them. He sometimes thought that he might. He sometimes walked into the club or the bar thinking that he was just horny enough that maybe that would be the time that he forgot Christian and starte
d getting laid again.
It never happened. Christian may have betrayed him, but that didn’t mean that Mark could do the same thing. It would be a long time, he figured, if ever, and when he figured that out, he actually started to have a better, more relaxed, time.
He danced. He drank. He enjoyed himself. Life, as it turned out, was a lot of fun to live, if he let it be.
When it had been about a week since he’d last seen Christian, he even told himself that maybe he was actually starting to get over the pretty young man. There was just, now and then, the nagging sense that something was wrong. It was probably just that he wasn’t used to having his heart broken, that was all.
Really, all in all, he was doing well. Moving on, like Christian had told him he should.
Until the afternoon in the coffee shop that changed everything.
* * *
It was a nice afternoon. Hot as hell, of course. California in the summer did tend to go that way.
But there were a few clouds, and the coffee shop where Mark sat and sipped his drink was open to the sea and quite often, a little gust of salty air puffed into it, cooling him off. No, this wasn’t bad at all.
The television was on to the local news, and Mark looked at it idly, not really paying a lot of attention. He was just thinking that perhaps it was time to go for a swim to cool off when something caught his attention fully and completely.
“Christian and the rest of Eternity will be returning to LA tomorrow night to finish off their tour. The show is completely sold out.”
The news anchor on the television kept on speaking, as though her words weren’t drilling a hole right into Mark’s chest cavity and pulling out his heart. As if the mention of Christian didn’t make Mark feel like he couldn’t breathe.
She had a picture up behind her of the gorgeous young man on stage, blond curls flying, hands curled almost erotically around his guitar, and Mark knew one thing right then and there. No matter what he’d thought, he was not over this young man.
And he needed to be. For his own sanity, he did. He’d never fallen so fast and hard for anyone before, but he couldn’t, and wouldn’t, force Christian to be with him. He wouldn’t ruin his life, take away the fame which he so clearly wanted and needed.
