by Londyn Skye
* * * *
Lily was taken back to the hotel in her carriage with Samuel at the reins, and with James’s passionate kiss having freed her from that sick feeling in her stomach for the first time ever after one of his departures. She quickly realized that it was all she had ever needed from James to feel settled whenever he left. Lily would have much preferred to be wrapped in his strong arms on such a cold night, but she was comforted by the warmth that his lips had left her with, and by knowing that they would soon have the rest of their lives to spend curled up together across the sea.
“Good night, Samuel,” Lily told her security bandit before walking into her hotel room.
“Night, Ms. Lily,” Samuel responded as he closed her door and took his post right outside of it.
Lily wearily entered her room after a long day, removing her shoes as she walked in the dark toward her oil lamp. “Do you love him?” she suddenly heard a deep voice asking her from the corner of the room. She nearly jumped out of her skin after turning and vaguely making out a dark figure sitting in a chair near the window.
“How the hell’d you get in here?!” she shouted.
Samuel quickly opened the door. “Ms. Lily!”
“It’s alright Samuel … It’s only Elijah,” she said after her eyes adjusted in the darkness.
Samuel grimaced at him. Despite knowing Elijah, he felt uneasy about him breaking into her room, like a night crawling criminal. Samuel looked at Lily once again to be certain she was okay being alone with him.
“It’s alright, I’ll let ya’ know if I need ya’,” Lily responded to the questioning look on Samuel’s face.
Samuel furrowed his eyebrows at Elijah and then hesitantly closed the door.
As soon as the door latched, Elijah immediately continued with his line of questioning. “Do you?”
Lily finally lit her oil lamp and turned to get a good look at how unkempt and pathetic Elijah looked, hunched over in the chair with his elbows on his knees and his suit jacket and shirt loose. “Do I what, Elijah?” Lily asked, sounding annoyed.
“Love yo’ masta’?”
“His name is James, and I don’t see how that’s any of your concern.”
Elijah suddenly pounced to his feet, startling Lily again. “It is my concern because I don’t wanna see you hurt! And that’s exactly what’ll happen if you keep bein’ foolish enough to let yourself believe there can eva’ be anything honest and pure between you and your masta’,” he emphasized again.
“He’s not my masta’!” Lily yelled, aggravated with his blatant disrespect. “And I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m a pretty big girl, and I don’t need you or anybody else to tell me how to conduct my affairs!”
“Affairs! You couldn’t’ve used a more fitting word!”
“And just what the hell’s that s’pposed to mean?!” she asked, throwing her hands on her hips.
“It means, that’s all you’ll eva’ end up bein’ to yo’ masta’ in the long run! An affair! Open your eyes Lily! He can’t legally marry you! And even if he could, I’m sure he’d neva’ want to! Afta’ he marries a woman he’d actually wanna be seen with in public, you’ll end up bein’ nothin’ but his secret little affair in backrooms and alleys unda’ the pitch black night sky, where he can hide his shameful activities from pryin’ eyes!”
“James shows me love and affection openly all the time!”
“Yes! And have you noticed it’s only in front ‘a all of us! Around people who care about you, where he knows he won’t be puttin’ himself in harm’s way, or embarrassin’ himself, or shamin’ his family by bein’ seen with a Negro! But in the real world there’s no way in hell he’d display you proudly on his arm!”
Lily thought briefly about how James had ushered her to a dark area of the train station to say his goodbyes, but then quickly shook it from her head, not wanting to fall victim to Elijah’s mind games. “He’d be tryin’ to keep me outta harm’s way!”
“Is that the lie he’s been tellin’ you?! Or worse yet, is that the lie you’re tellin’ yourself now?!” Elijah approached Lily and touched her shoulder, but she shrugged him off and stepped away. “Lily, you’re brilliant … a damn prodigal genius! That’s why it anga’s me to see you bein’ so stupid and naïve about this. I just wish you’d stop bein’ blinded by what you think is love.”
“It’s not just what I think! It’s what I see! It’s what I sense! It’s what I feel runnin’ through me like wildfire!”
Elijah backed up and looked her up and down with scathing eyes. “So, you do love him?”
“You’re damn right I do!”
“Then why’d you lead me to believe there was somethin’ between us?”
“What?!” Lily erupted. Her face twisted in anger. “Are you still drunk?!” She put her finger in his face. “How dare you have the audacity to accuse me of such a thing! I neva’ led you to believe anything!”
“You’d be lyin’ if you stood here and said there wasn’t somethin’ between us back at Branaugh! In all these months we’ve worked togetha’, you know good ‘n damn well you still feel somethin’ between us! You can’t tell me my mind is just playin’ tricks on me!”
“Yes! I can!” Lily erupted again, after having had enough of Elijah’s intrusion, not only into her room but into her personal life. “You dismiss my feelin’s for James like I’m some kind ‘a imbecile who needs your permission to know how I should feel! Then you have the nerve to disrespect me, him, and our relationship wheneva’ he turns his back, by pawin’ all ova’ me and smotherin’ me ’til I feel like I can’t breathe … and I’m sick of it! So right here and right now, I’m demandin’ for you to tell me just how many times I have to turn you down for you to accept that there ain’t a damn thing between us?!” She continued to glare at Elijah, her chest heaving after her verbal blows, waiting to see if he would actually answer her insulting question. When he cowered like a puppy and remained silent, she continued her tirade with just as much ferocity in her tone. “Tell me, dammit, so I’ll be sure to meet my quota!” When Elijah refused to respond again, Lily finally took a bit of the steam out of her voice. “There has neva’ been anything between us, Elijah … and there neva’ will be. All along, this ain’t been nothin’ but your damn imagination, and your undyin’ hope that your twisted fantasies will come to life! Now it’s time for you to get ova’ it!”
Without warning, Elijah covered Lily’s mouth with his while holding tight to her face. The taste of whiskey instantly seared her lips as she pushed hard on his chest to get away from his unwanted invasion. He held her so tight, she was forced to pry his mouth off her with her fingertips. After disconnecting him from her face, she gave him a hard shove and slapped him with as much power as she could muster.
“Don’t tell me that meant nothin’!” Elijah had the audacity to demand afterward.
“GET OUT!” Lily screamed, wiping hard at the residue he left lingering on her lips.
“YOU CAN’T TELL ME THAT MEANT NOTHIN’!” he still insisted.
“GET YOUR DRUNK ASS OUTTA HERE!”
“I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU!”
“I SAID GET OUT!”
“LILY, I’M SORRY!”
“GEEET! OOOUT!”
Lily’s door flew open, and Samuel grabbed Elijah by the throat. “I done heard enough from you t’night,” Samuel said, wrestling Elijah into submission. “Get y’ur goddamn sorry ass outta here!” Knowing that Elijah was part of the family and that he was inebriated, Samuel spared him the feel of cold steel against his temple. After a brief tussle, he simply dragged him out of Lily’s room. Elijah conceded quickly after the contents in his stomach began to churn. He stumbled down the hallway, out of the hotel, and wandered off into the cold night air to clear his head, along with the alcohol that finally erupted violently from his stomach.
“You alright, Ms. Lily,” Samuel came in and asked her after he was certain Elijah was no longer a threat.
“I’m fine,” she replied, si
tting on the bed in disbelief while wiping her mouth with a wet cloth, trying to get the repulsive taste of whiskey and Elijah off of her lips. While she sat there, Samuel walked around the room and checked the windows, the closet, and even under her bed, just to be sure all was clear before bidding Lily goodnight and walking out to stand guard outside of her door again.
Once alone, Lily undressed and laid down, feeling beyond angry that she had been violated in such a disgusting way. After giving it much thought, though, she decided, once again, that it was best not to tell James about what Elijah had done. She feared the heinous offense, would literally land James on trial for murder. After crossing the line the way Elijah had, Lily wanted him immediately tossed from the show. But she also decided to let his participation at Winter Garden stand so that nobody would question her reason for firing him so close to the Christmas performance. After tolerating him through the end of the show, though, she looked forward to telling Elijah that he would not be setting one foot on the ship bound for Buckingham Palace, a place that she suddenly began to sail to in her subconscious to help escape the memory of Elijah’s liquor-covered lips violating hers. With thoughts of that distant land finally overtaking her mind, Lily’s horrid encounter with Elijah faded away altogether. Instead, her mind began to replay the vivid visions of her erotic encounter at the museum with a man she currently wished was making love to her again. After making the euphoric climb together, she wanted so badly for James to swaddle her nude body against his while caressing her softly and lulling her to sleep by his gentle touch, as she fantasized about what the future held for the both of them in the Old World.
Chapter Twenty-three
LOVE:
A profound, tender, passionate affection, or feeling of warm personal attachment, deep passion, or sexual desire for another person.
Christmas Night 1859
Winter Garden Theater
On Broadway
Now Playing:
THE DREAM SYMPHONY
LOVE: With a sea of shadowed hearts drifting around it, that was the one word written into the sheer tapestry halfway through The Dream Symphony, Christmas night at Winter Garden. In front of a packed house, two grand pianos sat facing each other in the middle of the massive stage with William Werthington seated at one and Lily Adams seated at the other. It was just the two of them, no strings, no percussion, no horns to add to the mix. There was just the sound of two masterfully played pianos, mixing harmoniously together, projecting a simple yet elegant ballad that Lily had written just a few days prior for this special night: a ballad inspired by the power of … LOVE.
In quiet moments, be it near her favorite tree, in her hotel room, or riding in her carriage, James sometimes peered at Lily in admiration as she scribbled music notes onto sheets of blank paper. She would write feverishly, whenever, and wherever her creative juices began to flow while swaying softly from side to side, closing her eyes from time to time, and dancing to the symphonic sounds in her head. James noted how Lily seemed not to be in the same world as he was when she wrote. He could see in her face and body language that she had tuned out everything around her and was completely lost in the musical wonderland of her mind, the place where her memories and experiences were giving birth to all the wonderful elements that made her shadowed show so extraordinary. From James’s perspective, Lily seemed so lost in that glorious world that he often wondered if she ever noticed him stealing glances at her. He gazed at her in utter fascination, pondering to himself where it all came from, why, and how music erupted so easily from within her. Although those answers eluded him, one thing was accurate: music came with ease for Lily. The melodies and harmonies flowed effortlessly, so fast that her hand sometimes could not keep up with the speed with which they exploded from her creative factory. The array of musical sounds in her head would fill dozens of blank papers in a matter of an hour or less. And for as many times as James had witnessed the phenomenon, it never ceased to amaze him.
While watching Lily script lines and dots that he could barely comprehend, James was unaware that he had actually watched Lily transcribe a song that his love had inspired. Lily wanted to perform it for him for the very first time during this one-night-only Christmas event. But after being deeply affected by the story of Emma reliving her cherished memory at Winter Garden, Lily decided to blend her new love ballad with a song that William had written for Emma years ago.
And so now, the beautiful duet that Lily sat playing across from her beloved mentor, was one that she hoped would honor the undying love that he had for his wife. Simultaneously, Lily hoped that the remastered melody would adequately thank William for summoning the courage and the strength not only to return to Winter Garden, but to return to the piano at all after the pain of losing the love of his life. The new duet was the least she felt she could do to express her appreciation for the emotional sacrifice that William was willing to make solely for the sake of helping her pursue her musical dreams.
The sentimental ballad surprise brought tears to William’s eyes when Lily presented it to him on the piano and he heard Emma’s song infused within it. After hearing the blend of melodic perfection, William insisted that the song did not require the company of an elaborate show of shadow dancers, only two grand pianos and two people playing them for the people they loved. He felt that the passion with which they played would be more than enough to ignite vibrant memories of every personal love story embedded in the minds of all who listened.
Hoping to convey those emotions to the crowd on this cold Christmas night, William certainly played with an immense amount of passion. He was fighting to hold back tears after looking out into the audience and seeing his beloved sons in the front row, sitting on either side of a seat that housed not a person but, rather, an extravagant bouquet of white lilies: Emma’s favorite flower. The elegant arrangement sat on display in the very same seat that their mother was seated in the day her loving husband had brought her back to Winter Garden to let her relive the very last remaining memory she had left in the fading last hours of her life.
Much like everyone in the crowd while the ballad was played, William’s mind drifted to the memories of his love. Those flowers in her old seat faded away and he imagined Emma was there nestled between their boys again. He closed his eyes and the memories of when he first met Emma came crashing back to him: the way he walked into the little country store she owned and stumbled when he first caught sight of her, the way she wore her hair that day, the way he felt warmth flow through his body when she turned and smiled at him, how he struggled to pull his eyes away from the beauty of hers, and how he suddenly forgot how to speak when she said hello. He even still remembered her sweet scent as she approached him, and how he could not figure out how to move after she briefly touched him on the shoulder while asking if he needed help. As William played the blended ballad Lily had written, he recounted every minute detail of the moment he had gladly made a complete fool of himself in front of a woman he had instantly fallen in love with.
The passion with which Lily played was obvious to the audience as well. Samuel had gone to retrieve James from the train station just before the opening of her show. She had yet to see him, but she felt James’s presence there while she played across from her mentor. As she played for the man she loved, Lily was suddenly happy that there were no dancers present to tell the secrets of her mind when that melody was born. She realized that the only person who needed to see the story had already lived it along with her. He had shared the laughter, the heartache, the birthday celebrations, great sorrow, the pain of separation, the books, the tears, the losses, and the lovemaking. Through every peak and valley, James was there. And as she sat at the grand piano expressing her love for him through her music, in Lily’s mind, she was there with him all over again.
Just like William, Lily sat playing with her eyes closed, lost in the memories of her love story, the emotion of it all showing on her face and in the way she moved her body. It showed in the way she swayed g
ently while remembering the wind whipping by her as she jumped down from an old oak tree, and raced with James along a creek, seeking out the turtle they had named together. It showed in her smile while remembering how a jumping fish once had James jumping overboard from their fishing boat. It showed in the anguish on her face, thinking of the years they had spent apart. And it showed, yet again, in the delight on her face when she thought about the moment he had returned. The passion Lily felt even displayed itself in all the tiny goose bumps that covered her body as she remembered the very first time James pressed his lips against hers. Passion then reached its peak and overflowed from her eyes as she recalled the first time he ever made love to her. Every sentimental memory sent warmth rushing through her with each musical bar she played that represented the times over the last fifteen years that she felt showered in the love of James Adams.
There were so many of those glorious moments to recount that Lily could have done an entire two-hour show with that song alone. But with the ending of the five-minute melody, William stood and walked to the front of the stage, waiting for Lily to join him and take a bow, just as they had rehearsed. To William’s surprise, however, his sons emerged from the wings on either side of him and began walking toward him, holding onto the bouquet that had sat in their mother’s seat. Overwhelmed by the surprise that his twins and Lily had planned, William’s emotions began to swell in his chest, and so, too, did the lump in his throat when Lily began to play the original melody that he had written for Emma. On cue, Lily crescendoed into the piece at the exact moment the twins reached William and handed him their mother’s flowers. Emerson and Wilson then put their arms around their father and turned him to face the sheer tapestry, where William found it already brilliantly illuminated with the figure of a shadowed angel. The angel’s wings were spread far and wide, floating above the image of three shadowed men, two of whom had synchronized and mimicked the movements of Emerson and Wilson as they entered the stage and stood next to their father. While Lily continued to play Emma’s song, the shadows that represented William and his sons stood together holding the beautiful flower arrangement, still mimicking the stance of William and the twins as they watched the silhouette story play out in front of them. The tears that William had fought so gallantly to hold back suddenly began cascading in streams down his face the very moment the shadowed figure of his angelic wife slowly floated down and took hold of her flowers. She then wrapped her wings around the shadowed version of her family in a loving embrace, in perfect timing with the last few notes Lily played, just as the light slowly faded away.
