by KT Strange
He closed his eyes and sighed.
“Then… he said he was scared that loving you wasn’t enough, and did that make him a shitty person if he wanted me too? I didn’t know what to say to that. I just sat there, like an idiot, and stared at him.”
Buck gazed at me.
“I guess it was me being quiet that freaked him out, and he leaned forward, over me, and just… kissed me. I’m not sure why. He just did.”
I felt empty. It wasn’t… it wasn’t the closure I’d wanted, or the explanation I needed, but I knew he was telling the truth.
It was Shawn who had crossed the line. A small part of me wondered if he’d come to me, and told me how he felt about Buck… would the two of them kissing even have bothered me?
“I think he just needed the contact, to feel like things were real, that I wasn’t going anywhere either,” Buck said helplessly.
“I need to talk to him,” I said, my words abrupt.
“Mia,” Buck’s voice was ragged, his expression upset. “I never wanted to hurt you. I still don’t. Shawn’s in a bad place, and without you…”
“It’s not my responsibility to fix you guys,” I said, shaking my head. “I’m not... I’m not here to fix anyone. That’s up to you. I loved you both, I did, but-”
Buck’s mouth pulled down at the corners and shifted his weight, like he wanted to get to his feet.
“But you can’t forgive us. I guess… I didn’t expect you to,” he said. He looked so folded down, like he was giving up. But how could I move on from this?
“I need to talk to Shawn,” I said. “I… him kissing you, it wasn’t okay. Not without-”
Buck eyed me.
“I was okay with sharing,” he said, “but I never expected you to be, Mia. I don’t think Shawn did either. I don’t think he was trying to cheat on you with me, or anything like that. I think he’s just lost, and alone.” That word irritated me.
“He was never alone,” I said, heatedly. “He had both of us, and instead of talking about how he felt, he just bottled it up, and now look what happened?” My emotions were getting the better of me and suddenly I was crying. Buck was on his feet in a second, beside me in the next, and even though I wanted to be strong, I let him wrap his arms around me.
“I… I don’t know what to say,” his voice faltered as he hugged me. I didn’t pull way, instead just wiped at my tears and swallowed down the feelings.
“There’s nothing to say until I talk to him. I don’t even know how to start forgiving him, or you, until I do.”
Buck shifted, giving me space.
“Okay,” he said, nodding like his heart was breaking. “Okay, sweetheart. Whatever… whatever you need.”
I pressed my lips together.
That was the problem.
I had no idea what I needed. I didn’t know how to get over Shawn kissing Buck. It was obvious Buck hadn’t meant to hurt me, or even know it was going to happen, but Shawn…
The two of them were tied together in my mind, and I wasn’t sure how I could have one back in my life, and in my heart, without the other.
Shawn had betrayed my trust, the trust I’d so begrudgingly given. He’d stolen into my heart and set up camp there, living in it and making me love him. I’d been vulnerable and didn’t know how to deal with the fallout.
And now it was all about my needs, according to Buck. Except what would make this better? What admission could Shawn give that would make it better?
I had no idea.
“I think you should go before my uncle gets back,” I said. The couch creaked as Buck got to his feet.
“Whatever you want,” he said.
Right. My wants. My needs. I sighed as he left without another word, the headlights of his Rover sliding through the living room.
All I wanted was to go back in time and never have it happen in the first place. My conversation with Buck hadn’t cleared anything up, really, and had left me feeling more confused than ever. I needed to talk to Shawn. I just didn’t know how I could without screaming at him, or crying.
I buried my face in my hands. Love, and life, was too much sometimes.
***
A body slammed into the lockers beside where I stood. I jerked, my fingers shifting off the button on the water-fountain. Reid grinned at me, stretching his arms above his head. He’d just… had he thrown himself into the lockers to get my attention?
I gave him a weird look. He laughed.
“So I heard you need a job,” he said. I closed my eyes. Fucking Cael.
Reid shifted closer, until he was standing right next to me, his eyes dark and intense for a moment.
“That true?” He asked. “All normies need jobs, don’t feel bad about being a poverty case.”
“I need a job, I don’t need to be talked down to,” I said, turning and walking away. “There’s nothing wrong with working, or needing to work. It builds character and shows discipline, something you don’t know anything about.”
Reid caught up with me, his hand sliding around the middle of my arm, just above my elbow. He leaned in, pulling me up short, his breath rushing over my ear.
“I know more than a little bit about discipline, at least, giving it,” he said, and the heated tone of his voice told me exactly what he meant by that. I jerked away, not able to stop the blush that was creeping across my face. Everything he did was sexual. It was like he had a problem, or something.
“Look, you need a job?” He glanced away and then back at me. “I’m just having a little get-together. We’re short-staffed with the help this weekend, and could use an extra warm body,” Reid said, like he was bored. “You just need to wear the uniform, and be nice to my guests. You know how to be nice to people, right? I’ve seen you, shrinking yourself down, trying to fit into the expectations of others. It’s like a form of entertaining… you know how to entertain, don’t you, Mia?” Reid tilted his head as he looked at me, a sly smile on his lips. “You’ve certainly fucking entertained me,” his voice dropped low, and heated.
I suppressed a shudder and tried not to blush. Something in my gut was pinging in alarm, like I knew it was a bad idea, but I was getting desperate. Three hundred bucks. That’s all I needed, and extra cash for the bus there and back. Reid was the fastest way for me to get that money, and time was running out. If Brandt got the cash, he’d work with Mom’s lawyer instead of against her. I just needed my mom back, and safe. I bet that Uncle Matt would let us both stay with him until we got back on our feet. Mom could get a job in town, and I could keep going to HRA. She could get clean, and stay that way with both me and my uncle looking after her. There wasn’t much of a drug problem in Hidden River, at least… not the kind of drugs she enjoyed doing. I’d overheard some moms picking up their kids after school a few days before… I’m pretty sure that my mom had never even heard of micro-dosing LSD to ‘open up her third eye and lower her anxiety’ or whatever.
“Mia?” Reid sounded annoyed. “Look, if you don’t need the cash-”
“No, I do, thanks,” I said, clearing my throat and giving him the brightest smile I could manage. “I’ll do it. Whatever you need. Entertain? I’ll be so fucking entertaining.”
Reid closed his eyes, a smile lighting up his face. He really was… good looking. Different from how Colt was, even though they were both more lanky than bulky. But there was something stiff about him, cold, like a crystal. It was in his face. He had a controlled smile that rarely wavered from his face. He was practiced at keeping a mask on. I wondered why.
“I knew you’d be a good sport. Just know we have a pretty strict dress code for our staff, okay? So… not like you’re dirty, but make sure you shower before you come over,” he said, getting to his feet. “And moisturize. My mother hates people who don’t moisturize.” He eyed me up and down and a flush of heat warmed my cheeks. “You’re what… a medium?”
“Um.. large,” I said. His eyes lit up and he snorted.
“Yeah, those breasts look like they cau
se you a lot of problems. 36D?”
I jerked back, the conversation going from G rated to R in a way I hadn’t expected. Really, I should’ve seen it coming. Everything about Reid screamed sex. Maybe he thought after our dance, that he could say whatever he wanted to me.
“Yeah, that’s none of your business,” I said, crossing an arm over over my stomach. I wanted to cover my chest, but that would be too obvious. Reid shrugged and pulled a business card out of his pocket, like he’d been waiting to give it to me. He held it out.
“Here’s the contact for our chief of staff at home. Send him your measurements. Like I said, we have a strict dress code. He’ll want to have your uniform tailored.”
“This is just for one night,” I said, taking the card.
“Look, a girl can always use a little extra spending money,” he said, turning and waving his hand to me as he walked away. He didn’t even bother looking back. “Your uncle can’t afford to give you everything that I can. See ya.”
I swallowed and tucked the card away in my pocket. Reid was fucking weird. Spending money? And what did he know about my uncle. Uncle Matt provided for me just fine. Things might get tight once my mom joined us, but I’d get a part-time job maybe at the bowling alley, and… we’d be fine. Everything would be fine.
Seven
Cael, as much as he’d been my regular driver to anything I’d needed over the last while, didn’t answer my text when I asked him (very nicely) if he didn’t mind driving me to Reid’s. He might’ve already been there if he was going to whatever event Reid was hosting, or not looking at his phone, or maybe even doing something else. Whatever he did for hobbies. He was mysterious like that. I had a sneaking suspicion that he was a total dork at home and liked building model planes or something like that.
The upcoming work at Reid’s had occupied my mind a lot, so much that I had pushed away all my thoughts about Shawn and Buck and my needing to talk to Shawn.
The money was more important right then, to get things sorted out for my mom.
In the end, I put on a pair of work-like black trousers, and a sensible white button-down shirt from my school uniform. Whatever I needed to do at Reid’s, at least I’d look professional when I showed up. I’d sent in my measurements, and hadn’t heard back. Oh well.
The cab arrived out front of my uncle’s house and I bounded down to it, my nerves getting the better of me as I jiggled in and fidgeted in the back of it the whole ride over. Reid’s family owned an acreage close to Cael’s, and I inhaled as we turned onto the drive.
It was long, lit up with bright lanterns all along it, leading to a giant house at the end that rivaled the one Buck lived in.
“This the place?” The driver asked. I swallowed down my nerves.
“Oh yeah,” I said brightly, like I wasn’t shitting myself.
“Have fun,” the driver said, a wicked grin on his face. “I’ve picked up more than a few drunken girls after a party here. Watch yourself.”
“Uh,” I said, blinking. “Thanks.” I slipped out of the back seat, and stared up at the imposing double doors, the dark wood marked with big, brass rivets all over.
Jesus.
Was I supposed to knock? Before I could even lift my hand, one of the doors open, and a young woman in a closely tailored suit stood there. Her hair was pulled back in a neat bun, glasses perched on her nose.
“Mia Quinn?” She asked, in a clipped, British accent. I nodded. “Please come with me.” She stepped to the side and I followed her.
The ceiling soared above me, marble flooring below me, and there was a giant staircase that looked like it should’ve had fifty debutants in white dresses descending it.
The woman who’d greeted me walked quickly to one side, through a small arched doorway, and through a series of halls. It was clear this was the ‘staff’ area, because the decorations were sparse, and the walls were a plain, pristine white. I followed her closely, almost trotting to keep up.
“Has Mister Remington explained your duties?” She asked, turning a sharp corner.
“Uh, no, not really.”
She eyed me up after my response and lifted an eyebrow.
“Hmm.” She stopped in front of a door.
“Your change room. Put your clothes in the hamper under the counter first, and we’ll make sure they’re laundered for you when you’re ready to go home.” She opened the door. A small dressing room was inside, a closet in the far-wall. It was softly lit, a satin seat by the dressing counter, and an array of makeup and hair-styling tools laid out.
“Okay, thanks,” I said, wondering if she used the dressing room to get ready for her work, and if I could pull off her shade of pure-red lipstick.
“Miss Quinn? Please disrobe entirely. Under garments are provided with your uniform,” she said, giving me a look. My cheeks warmed.
“Um-”
“The Remington’s are particular,” she said, as if that answered that.
Yeah. Particularly weird. No wonder Reid was such a freak. I stepped inside as she stood back, and shut the door. I listened for a moment, but didn’t hear footsteps. Was she going to wait while I got dressed? I locked the door out of paranoia.
So much for dressing professionally. I stripped off my top and pants, kicking my shoes to the side. I dropped them into the hamper and then caught sight of myself in the mirror. I looked… nervous. I blinked and reached back, unsnapping my bra. At least they had my bra size. That was some small comfort. I let my bra fall into the hamper, and then my panties. I shivered. The air was cool in the dressing room.
I walked over to the wardrobe and pulled it open.
My heart swooped.
No.
My vision misted red. Seriously?
Inside was lingerie. Not the cheap, Walmart kind, either. A dark blue bra, it’s cups lace picked out with small, black crystals hung there, matching panties below. On a separate hanger held a robe, but it was a gauzy transparent net, in black.
That was not a uniform. I was going to fucking kill Reid. I was going to punch him in his stupid face and then demand he pay me for wasting my time. Is that what he meant by entertain? Me dressing in fucking underwear for him?
I grit my teeth and slammed the wardrobe door, turning back to the hamper. I was going to get dressed and-
I opened the top of the hamper and reached in. My fingers scraped the side, and… nothing.
“What?” I hissed, yanking the hamper out from under the counter. My eyes widened.
A hole in the ground, a chute. It was a fucking laundry chute. The hamper was empty, my clothes? Gone. Down the chute.
My pulse picked up.
Murder. Murder was the only acceptable answer. I growled and yanked the door open a crack, about to give Miss British a piece of my fucking mind, while hiding my naked body.
Only she wasn’t there. The hallway was empty.
My lips pressed together. In the distance I could hear noise, a sexy beat of music, and laughter.
So what, Reid wanted to show me what I was? Pretty wallpaper to dress up his… goddamn party?
Fury ripped through me. I yanked open the wardrobe and angrily pulled on the underwear, not bothering to be careful with it. A crystal pinged off one cup, rolling along the floor. I shrugged into the robe and wrapped it tight around my body. There were a pair of high-heels resting in the bottom of the wardrobe, but I ignored them. Fuck him. Iw wasn’t going to parade around half naked and in uncomfortable shoes.
The only small blessing was that the panties weren’t see-through, and even, mercifully, offered full coverage instead of being a thong. But the bra…
I closed my eyes and stiffened my spine.
I was going to make Reid regret his life choices.
I stepped out of the dressing room, my pulse shuddering in my veins as I followed the noise.
The sound grew louder, my nerves buzzed harder, and I shoved open the door that I could hear the laughter coming from.
It was like a record ripped.
It was a lounge, den-type room, a big TV occupying the far wall with a fireplace roaring beneath it. Reid was sat on a leather couch, laughing, a beer in his hand. He jerked up when I opened the door. The laughter died, and suddenly my brave idea of confronting him seemed completely stupid.
And terrible.
There were a bunch of guys inside, all older than me, and almost none of them that I knew.
Reid looked like he’d swallowed his tongue as he stared at me, his dark eyes glittering in the low light.
“Shit,” someone said.
“Who ordered a stripper? Is it my fucking birthday?” Someone else asked.
A guy leaned over and slapped Reid on the shoulder.
“Is that her?” He asked, like he knew who I was.
There was a guy near me, his beer in his hand. Without thinking, I grabbed it.
“You fucking bastard,” I snarled, crossing the room, throwing the beer in Reid’s face. He sputtered, the liquid hitting him as the guy nearest him dove out the way.
“Holy shit, she’s a dom!” Someone crowed. I grabbed the front of Reid’s shirt, the fabric soaking wet, and yanked him toward me, not caring that I was half-naked. He wanted some entertainment for his stupid shitty friends? I’d give them some goddamn entertainment.
“Mia,” he breathed, but didn’t get another word out before I slapped him hard across the face. I jerked back, standing as tall as I could, barefoot and my hand wet from the beer I’d splashed on him.
“You’re a fucking selfish, disgusting, ignorant pig,” I spat.
Someone whistled, and I whirled, glaring at the guys who were assembled.
“Fuck off,” I snapped. “You think this is funny? This is hot?” I narrowed my eyes and the guy closest to me held up his hands in apology, his gaze sliding away like he couldn’t meet my stare. “You think it’s funny that he took advantage of me, needing money to get by, and he fucking stole my clothes so I’d have to parade in front of all of you like this? Yeah, really hilarious. Being a terrible human being, an insensitive prick, is just a laugh.”
