Single Dad CEO: A Billionaire Boss Romance

by Lara Swann

  The knock comes again, interrupting the thought, and Jessica is already heading toward the door when I look up.

  “Wait.” I say, then call again. “A minute.”

  My god, who is being so damn insistent?! The last time I checked, I’m still the boss, and I definitely don’t have a meeting scheduled.

  “Good luck with tonight.” I finally say, my voice soft as Jessica turns around to look at me. “I’ll be at home if you want to come over, after. And I’ll be there in an instant if you call.”

  She gives me a half-smile, nodding, but I can see the slight clouds in her eyes.

  “Thanks, Kenneth. I might take you up on that.”

  Then she raises an eyebrow at me in question, laying a hand on the doorknob and not giving me a chance to say anything else. I nod, somewhat resigned. She opens the door, exchanges a few words with the person on the other side and then slips out.

  I shift my chair under my desk, trying to conceal the slight bulge in my pants as the determined knocker walks into the room.

  Of course. Patrick. Who else would it be?

  Chapter Twenty

  Jessica

  I leave Kenneth to yet another meeting with his lawyer - they seem to be ramping up recently - and make my way to Gramps’ care home to visit for a couple of hours.

  I usually stay longer than that, of course, but this evening…I have something else to do.

  Something he picks up on immediately.

  “What’s…wrong?” He asks, frowning at me from his wheelchair as he peers over the table at me. “Distracted by…that man of yours?”

  His speech is so much better than it was that first week and it makes me smile every time I see him, just to be able to talk to him properly again. He’s still a little quiet, and he’s slower than I think he’d like, but I don’t care about any of that. I get to have the kind of conversations that I used to with him - they just take a bit longer, that’s all.

  “No, it’s not that.” I say, even though a good portion of my mind is still wrapped up with Kenneth - with how good everything feels now that I’ve got his warm presence and the strength of his love back in my life. And, I’m not going to lie, with how good it felt to sit on his lap and feel him harden under me—

  “Well?”

  I blush, reminding myself those really aren’t appropriate thoughts to be having around my grandfather, and shrug a little self-consciously.

  “Okay, well, maybe a little.”

  He laughs, a low, almost coughing sound that took me a little while to get used to - but the sparkle in his eyes is as familiar as ever.

  “Good. Good for you, Jessie.” He sounds delighted, and I know that he is.

  I think he knew something was going on with me as soon as I started having sex with Kenneth, even though at that point I wasn’t even ready to admit it to myself. Surprisingly for him, though, he didn’t say anything or press me for an answer. He’s always been good at knowing when to do that - and I guess he could tell that it was a good thing for me.

  But yesterday, I brought Kenneth to meet him. I wanted to. I’m spending more time with Abbie now - and I can see Kenneth encouraging her as we do, asking what she thinks of it being the three of us - and even though I’m a little worried it’s too fast…so far, she’s been happy and enthusiastic about it all. It’s made me want Kenneth to be a part of my family too.

  So I told Gramps I’d met someone - I even admitted Kenneth was the same boy from all those years ago at school - and I was more grateful than I would have thought that when he met Kenneth again, he didn’t go on the offensive about how all that had ended. Gramps knows what it did to me, but you wouldn’t have thought it from the enthusiasm he greeted Kenneth with. It made me wonder whether he’s been more concerned about my lack of a relationship than he’s ever let on.

  We managed to gloss over exactly how we met - and the small fact that Kenneth is also my boss - but I know we’re going to have to explain that at some point. Gramps is too astute not to work it out once he starts getting to know Kenneth, and starts asking about what he does. I’m hoping that will be after I find another job, though. That, and maybe if Gramps’ speech therapy continues going well, it might be an easier conversation to have.

  “Something else too, hmm?” He frowns at me, and I realize just how distracted I am today.

  “Sorry. Sorry, I should be focusing on you, I just—”

  “No.” He says emphatically. “You.”

  “I’m meeting Mom tonight.”

  It comes out all in one go and I take a deep breath after I’ve said it. I wasn’t trying to keep it from him, I just…didn’t know how to say it. I knew that I would, though. I can’t keep something like that inside for long.

  His eyes widen and he reaches for me with his good hand, which is still slightly shaky. I take it in mine, clasping it tightly.

  “I only decided a couple of days ago that I wanted to.” I explain. “And…well, it all happened faster than I thought it would. I’m kind of glad about that, actually. I’m not sure I want anymore time to think about it.”

  “Are you okay?” He asks, his voice more steady than I can remember it being for a while. Or maybe it’s just that my insides feel kind of shaky.

  I nod. “Yeah. Yeah, I think I am. I mean, I don’t even know if she’ll turn up. If she doesn’t…well, I guess that’s the end of that. Maybe that would be easier, too. Maybe…”

  “Jessica.” His concern is obvious, even in that one word, and I let out a nervous little laugh.

  “I don’t really know what I want from it.” I admit. “But maybe I don’t need to know. Maybe I can just see…what it is. Maybe I won’t feel anything at all. Maybe…”

  I shake my head, trying to stem the flow of words and thoughts and confused feelings.

  “I think it’ll be okay, Gramps. Really, I do.” I squeeze his hand and give him a little smile.

  Whatever happens, it will be okay. Because I’m okay now. I’ve got what I need. I’ve got Gramps and Kenneth, so everything is okay.

  He gives me a long look, but finally nods, a deep sigh leaving him.

  “Tell me…tell me how it goes?” He asks, and there’s a strange look in his eyes.

  I get another stab of discomfort at the thought of how long it’s been since he saw her. His daughter. I know that in some ways, the feelings between them are even more fraught and painful than the ones I have for her, and I know that’s mostly because of me. He’s always been so angry about what she did to me. It’s a hard thing to think about.

  “I will.” I say softly, not sure what else I can say - or even what he wants.

  He’s silent for a long time, and when he looks back at me, his eyes are sad.

  “There’s no excuse for leaving you, Jessica, but…don’t be…too hard on your…Mom.” He slows down to focus on what he’s saying, and a small shiver runs down my spine. “We didn’t always…do well…with her. It wasn’t easy - for any of us. We were…maybe…too hard. We just…wanted what was…best.”

  I’ve never heard any of this and I can feel my heart in my throat as I listen. As far as I knew, Gramps had never regretted anything about what he’d done.

  He looks up at me, a sad smile on his face, slightly lop-sided. “We did a better job…with you, I think. We learned better, but…”

  “It wasn’t your fault.” I say immediately, repeating what he’s always told me. He doesn’t deserve to shoulder the blame for what she did anymore than me. “It was her decision. She could have come home at any time. You’ve been the best grandfather…hell, the best Dad I ever could have had, Gramps.”

  I can see moisture glistening in his eyes and he squeezes my hand hard as I struggle to contain my own emotions.

  “I tried.” He says softly.

  “I know. I’ll always be grateful that you were there for me, no matter what happened or what I did. You were there, always.”

  He nods, but I still catch the wistful expression on his face, and I wish I c
ould ask him more. I wish I knew - that I had the chance to understand what had happened, all those years ago before I was even born. But it’s obvious that this isn’t the time to ask it - he already seems worn out from talking just that much, and I’m not sure I want it all in my head just before I see my Mom.

  Whatever happened, it doesn’t change anything. She abandoned me for the whole of my childhood. She stood me up time and time again. Whatever he thinks he could have done differently - all of that is on her. He was the one that was there for me. Him and Grandma.

  Still, I can’t help wondering what’s brought all this on - whether maybe something about the stroke, about how long ago it all was now…I don’t know. But if anything happened to him…and he has regrets…the thought of that crushes me a little.

  “Do you want me to…pass on anything, from you?” I ask, hesitantly.

  After she didn’t show up for my twenty-first, he’d sworn up and down he’d never speak to her again. But…but maybe some of that has changed.

  He looks at me and seems to hesitate, his mouth moving for a moment. But then he shakes his head.

  “No. No, you see her. I hope…it’s what you want.” He meets my gaze steadily, but I have to glance away. I’m still not even sure what I want from this. “But…whatever happens, I’ll be here, Jessica. You’ll be okay.”

  He repeats my words from earlier and I nod.

  I will. I know I will.

  I’ll be here.

  The same thing Kenneth said.

  With both of them here to support me like that, how could anything my Mom does or doesn’t do today really affect me?

  In the end, that’s why I made the decision. Just being with Kenneth again made the idea of meeting her easier - hell, it’s made me more confident in general. I still find it scary to be so deep with him so quickly - to trust him so much already - but it’s obvious the difference it’s made.

  My life feels stable, for the first time in so long. I feel secure in a way that seemed impossible only a few weeks ago - and that was the only thing holding me back. I want to see my Mom. I don’t know why. Maybe just pure curiosity, if nothing else. But I want to do it.

  And I’m finally going to.

  * * *

  Gramps and I tried to make small conversation about other things for a while longer - I tried to read to him, we attempted a puzzle together - but it’s obvious we’re both too distracted, and I leave even earlier than I was planning to.

  I know he’s concerned about me and I promise to let him know I’m okay afterward - but I also know there are other things going on that he’s not saying and I wish I knew what they were. I really hope it doesn’t bother him that I’m seeing her again and that if it did, he would have said. I try to reassure him that whatever happens today, it doesn’t take away from everything he’s ever done for me - that whatever my Mom says, Grandma and him are my real parents and always will be. They’re the ones that raised me. I don’t think that’s the issue though.

  It’s not until I’m halfway to the cafe we’ve arranged to meet at that it occurs to me that Mom never sent a letter to Gramps. Just to me. That thought makes me slightly uneasy and ridiculously, I contemplate canceling the whole thing. I know I’m probably just looking for any reason to, but still…now that it’s almost happening, I can’t shake the nerves.

  The questions.

  Will we even recognize each other?

  What on earth do I say to her?

  What does she expect from me?

  What can I even give her, after everything she’s done?

  I get to the cafe early, relieved to know I’ll have time to get a coffee and settle down before she arrives. It’ll give me time to sort through some of those wild thoughts and prepare for—

  “Jessica?”

  I freeze where I’m stood in line. The voice is familiar enough that I recognize it - despite the few times I’ve heard it, despite everything that told me I probably wouldn’t even know who she was, despite being early—

  “Is that…is that you?”

  I look over my shoulder slowly - and find I actually am right. I barely recognize the woman who looks back at me. Except…except…

  That weird familiarity is still there.

  Dark gray hair that falls around her face in a short cut, rough lines cut into her slightly haggard looking face and the same brown eyes that look back at me from the mirror every day. Apart from those eyes…

  She almost looks like Grandma.

  The realization startles me, but once I see it, I can’t help it. She’s got the same prominent nose and square-set face. I can see my Grandma in her, even more than I can see myself.

  The age on her face surprises me too. She was young when she had me - only sixteen. She’s not old yet, not like Grandma was. But…she looks it. She looks…tired.

  “What would you like?”

  The voice from the counter breaks through the tumbling thoughts in my mind, in a semi-polite-semi-irritated tone that tells me it’s not the first time I’ve been asked.

  “I—er—” I turn back to the woman behind the counter, even though it’s hard to snatch my eyes away from my Mom. I’m not sure I actually expected her to turn up. I was more ready to be stood up again than to have her suddenly there in front of me. The woman I haven’t seen for years.

  I stammer out an order and ignore the impatient look I get from those around me as I pay and move to the end to wait for my drink.

  I finally look back at where my Mom has come to stand near me, and I suddenly wish I’d had the time to work out what I wanted to say.

  “H—hi.”

  That’s all I manage to get out, but she gives me a gentle smile.

  “Hi.”

  My order is called out before I have to think of anything else to say and I take the drink with relief. I belatedly notice she’s already got a coffee cup in her hands and wonder for a moment how long she’s been waiting here.

  I was early.

  “Shall we…um…sit down?” I suggest, feeling awkward but just deciding to go with it.

  This is awkward. I’m not sure there’s any playbook for meeting the Mom that abandoned you all through your childhood. All that’s on her.

  I try to remind myself of that and it’s hard, even though it’s all I’ve been telling myself for days.

  It’s not your fault. However this goes, however it works out, it’s not on you. Whatever you want here is okay.

  “I’d like that.” She says, her voice softer than I remember it.

  I nod and move toward a table at the back of the cafe, with none of the other tables around it occupied. I definitely want a little bit of privacy for this meeting.

  I take the booth against the wall and she sits in the chair opposite - and then for a long moment, we just look at each other. I’d guess she’s as absorbed by what I look like as I was when I first saw her.

  “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you.” She almost whispers it and I start feeling a little uncomfortable by the fascination.

  “Um, yeah, I know.” I shrug, just about managing to avoid putting a bite into it.

  I’m surprised that I don’t want to. There have been so many times that I’ve thought about everything I’d say to her - everything I’d ask if I got the chance. Mainly why.

  Why didn’t you come back to us? Why didn’t you care? Why did you say you would, if you were never going to? Why even have me in the first place? Why, why, why…

  Now that I’m here with her…well, maybe it’s just been too long, or maybe it doesn’t matter anymore. Maybe she doesn’t really matter to me anymore. That thought is painful in its own way. But either way, sitting here remembering all those questions…I’m not sure I even have anything to say.

  “I didn’t think you’d come.” I say instead, shrugging slightly. It’s not even an accusation, just an explanation. “I don’t…I guess I don’t really know what to say.”

  She nods, looking down for a moment before taking a deep b
reath.

  “I know. That’s fair. I don’t expect you to say anything, Jessica, or do anything. I just…I wanted to see you so badly. I have for years now but I didn’t know how to—or whether I could—or if—” She swallows, glancing over to the side and then back to me. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry, Jessica. For everything. I know that’s not enough and I know it doesn’t change anything - it can’t go back and rewrite the past - but I need to say it anyway.”

  “For yourself?” I ask, before I can help it, some of the bitterness that I’d just been thinking I was over spilling out of me.

  That would be typical. I’m not sure my Mom has ever thought about anyone else in her life. It was always what she needed.

  She winces, then shrugs. “I guess I deserve that. And I don’t know, maybe. I’d say it wasn’t for me - but it seems strange to expect an apology to mean anything to you, after all this time. I think I hope it does anyway, but…well. Maybe it is for me.”

  I nod, the bitterness sliding back into a familiar resignation. I’m starting to wonder why I came. What I ever expected from this.

  “What do you want?” I ask, eventually.

  She seems content to sit there and just look at me, but I’m not sure how I feel about that.

  “I…I don’t know.” She takes another deep breath. “I don’t want to hurt you anymore, Jessica, more than anything—”

  “You could have done that by staying gone.”

  She nods, slowly. “Yes. I guess I could have - and if that’s what you want, I’ll leave Springfield again. You don’t have to have anything else to do with me.”

  She pauses, seeming to wait for me to answer, but I don’t have a clue what I want. I’m just…confused, I guess.

  When it becomes obvious that I’m not going to say anything, she shrugs again and continues.

  “But if it’s at all possible…I’d like to get to know you. To see you a little. To have whatever part of your life you’d like to share with me, if that’s anything at all. I know it’s not going to be the relationship we—we could have had—but…maybe we could have something. If you want.”