The Texan's Promise

by Jolene Navarro

  How was she going to keep her distance if he was here? They could be friends if he was in another country, but next door? She wasn’t strong enough.

  “You don’t need saving. I might not have a great deal of experience with women, but I know what I felt from you when we kissed. That was not just friendship.”

  “So, I’m lonely. It doesn’t mean anything.” She stomped to the vines growing on the stakes and yanked off the beans, probably harder than they deserved. Without a word, he handed her the basket. She took it but made sure to glare at him.

  He had agreed to be her friend, and now he wanted to ruin that. Her life was better without men complicating it.

  “Belle. Please listen to me. This is why I didn’t want to tell you like this. I wanted to get everything settled with the land and your mother. But the kids are so excited about...about having a real home and making us a family. They jumped ahead and... I’m sorry about that.”

  She stopped and stared at him. “Is that why you’re doing this? To give your kids a mom? Mine need a father?” Acid was starting to burn in her gut.

  “No. They have a mom. She’s not here, but I won’t ever let anyone replace her. She loved them so much.” He looked over the walls of her vegetable garden. “For the longest time, I thought I’d never marry again. The guilt of her death was too much.”

  Belle gripped the basket tighter to her. “Quinn.”

  “I could have opted out of the job we were doing in El Salvador. If I had stayed home, she wouldn’t have gone with me. There was an emergency, and we were trapped on the side of the road during a storm.” He ran his fingers through his hair and studied the horizon as if all the answers were there. “She went into labor two months early. I couldn’t get her to the medical care she needed. I couldn’t.”

  “Was there a doctor?”

  “No. I tried to drive us to the closest town. They had a midwife there. But there was a flood. She was so worried about Jonah. That’s all she cared about. Making sure he was delivered safely.”

  She took a step toward him. “He was. As a mother, I’m sure that was all she was focused on.”

  He nodded, his breath low. “She had him in her arms when...” The silence was so heavy with his unsaid words.

  “Oh, Quinn. You were alone with her?”

  “Yeah. I didn’t know what to do. All my education and none of it mattered. The most important person in my life and I couldn’t help her. We were there for three more hours before the waters went down enough for someone to rescue us. She should have never been there.”

  “It seems to me she did what she wanted.”

  “Yeah. She was stubborn, hardheaded and determined. You’re a lot like her. I seem to have a type.” He grinned at her.

  She jerked up. “What? We’re nothing alike. She had more education than my whole family put together. She came from major money and a family who uses that wealth to save the world. My mother was stealing from us. Kari was tiny and petite and, if her mother and daughters are any indication, polite and soft-spoken. There is nothing soft about me.”

  “Those are all external qualities. At her core, you’d find a woman who fought fiercely for her family and her passions. She loved without holding back, and once you were hers, she never let you go.” He cupped her face. “I love you, and I want to be yours.”

  “Oh, Quinn. I can’t. It’s too much. I can’t love you like that. I tried to be what other men wanted. It didn’t work out. I’m not giving myself up again for a man.”

  With a sigh, she made her way to the house. Inside, Gina was sitting at the table. Belle didn’t like the knowing smile on her face.

  Did this woman really think she was good enough to step into her daughter’s shoes? Not that her size tens would even come close to Kari’s tiny feet.

  “Oh, good. You’re here. I was leaving you a note. I’m taking the kids into town. All of them. Jazmine’s daughter is in the children’s choir. It would be good for them to join her.” She stood and went to the living room. “Everyone up. We’re leaving.”

  “I can go with—” Quinn started to offer.

  “Nope. Just me and the kids.” She looked at them and lowered her voice. “You two need to talk. Especially if we’re making Port Del Mar our new home.” She winked, then ushered the kids out.

  They stood there in silence for a moment.

  “I guess we know where she stands.” Quinn took her hand. “Come here. Let’s sit and talk about this. You have valid fears based on your history, but that doesn’t mean they should stop you from forming new relationships.”

  “We’ve already talked. Just go.” Belle rolled her eyes. “Don’t start analyzing me and my life choices.” She pulled her hand out of his.

  Being this close to him while he was telling her he loved her was too much. Her lungs wouldn’t work. She needed her girls. She needed him to leave.

  “I love how independent you are. I would never try to take that from you. I want a partner.” He was close enough to take her hand again. “Can’t you see a future with our families blended? This might be a little Neanderthal of me, but I can’t deny the fact that I want to take care of you.”

  “I’ll never give a man any control over me ever again. The ranch and my girls need all of me. I don’t have time to make my hair perfect for someone else’s pleasure or spend time worrying about what I eat because he thinks I need to be thinner. The clothes I wear and how I keep house should be no one’s concern but mine.” She stood and turned from him. She couldn’t stop the stupid tears from streaming down her face as she relived all the pain her ex-husband and her uncle had put her through. “I’ve fought hard for my independence, and I can’t go back to living for someone else’s happiness.”

  She wanted to be a good role model for her daughters. She thought he understood her, understood that. Now he was changing everything.

  He touched her back. Instead of pressing into him, she stepped away and wiped her face. “There’s nothing to talk about. Please leave. I’m so sorry I can’t be what you need.”

  “Belle.” He reached for her again. “It’s not about—”

  “No.” Stepping out of his reach, she went to her front door and opened it. If he stayed much longer, she’d cave—and she’d be left empty. More so than after her uncle or ex-husband.

  With a heavy sigh, Quinn walked through the door. When he paused, she looked down. “Go. Please.” If he stood there much longer, she’d be crying in front of him, and she’d never forgive herself for that. Or him.

  Finally, he had moved far enough for her to close the door.

  Pressing her back against it, she used all her weight to keep herself from opening it and calling him. She waited to hear his boots on the porch.

  Silence. He was still standing on the other side of the door.

  “I know you’re still there.” His voice was low, but firm. “Belle, you need to know that there’s nothing I’d change about you. Whatever they put you through, whatever they told you? It wasn’t the truth. It was their insecurity. I wouldn’t change a thing. You’re perfect the way you are.”

  She covered her ears with her hands and waited for him to leave.

  Chapter Seventeen

  After warning Jazz she was going for a ride, Belle tacked up Little Lady. She needed more saddle time. Leaning over her neck, she let the mare run full out along the beach. She needed to cool the mare, so they went into the pastures and walked through the herd.

  She had done this. Built the ranch up to solid ground. And she had done it without a man in her life. The sun was setting behind her.

  She walked Little Lady to the grassy cliff near the rocky end of the coastline. Dismounting, she dropped the reins and let the horse graze as she sat on the edge, watching the tide roll into the shore below. This was her home. And, because of Quinn, she would be able to keep it.

  God
, I’m so torn. Have You sent Quinn into my life as a test, or as an answer to a request I was afraid to ask?

  She struggled with trusting anyone and that included God. Talking with God, praising Him for all the good in her life, was easy. The weakest part of her faith, where she battled the most, was with turning everything over to Him. Trusting Him in all things was a fight she had a hard time letting go of.

  After a lifetime of not trusting, how did she do it?

  She twirled at the sound of leather behind her. Damian pulled up next to her and dismounted from a horse she didn’t recognize. He did a little extra hop to maintain his balance, but even with that, she wouldn’t have guessed he was missing half of his left leg.

  His arm was another matter. He refused to wear a prosthesis. He’d been home for three years now and had seemed to adjust physically, but she had serious doubts about his mental and spiritual healing.

  His faithful pair of Belgian Malinois followed him now as he made his way to her.

  “Hey, Damian.” Was this a private place of his? “Do you want me to leave?”

  With a shake of his head, he dropped next to her. His dark hair needed a cut, and a heavy five o’clock shadow traced his hard jawline. He was probably the best-looking of the De La Rosa men—and that was saying something—but he was the most closed off. And again, that was some tough competition. The dogs settled in next to him and they all looked toward the ocean.

  “If you want to come by the house, I can trim up your hair for you.”

  He ran his fingers through the silky waves, as if surprised by their length. “Okay.”

  “How is everything at the cabin? Do you need anything?”

  “I’ll leave a grocery list Monday. I’m good until then. Heard it all worked out with getting rid of your mother. How’s the rest of the land deal going? Xavier came by and said it’s looking good.”

  “It is.”

  He grunted, then turned to her. “So why are you out here, doing nothing but staring at the moon, when you aren’t having problems?”

  She laughed. “Am I that predictable?”

  He shrugged. “What’s up?”

  Everything with Quinn was too complicated. “My mother doesn’t care that we don’t want her here. She just wanted money.”

  “That’s how Frank got rid of her.”

  Startled, she turned to him. His full focus was on his dogs. “When? What for?”

  “My mom wanted to keep you. She had worried about your mother’s lifestyle. They gave her money for you to stay. Elijah butted heads with Frank, so it wasn’t until later that Mother convinced him to pay for Elijah, too.”

  “Your parents paid for us?”

  He made a face. “Not really. It was more like protecting you. Of course, after we lost Mom, everything changed. Your mother refused to take you back. She told Frank there was a no-return policy and left.” He chuckled. “That made him mad. Of course, everything made him lose his temper. It was just a matter of degrees.”

  She nodded.

  They fell into silence. Should finding out that her mother was paid to leave them trouble her? Letting the idea swirl in her brain didn’t change anything. There was no connection to the woman who gave birth to her. But she did feel warmth that Mari had fought to keep her. She hadn’t been unwanted.

  Her traitorous brain did want to linger over Quinn, though. He’d changed everything about her.

  What was wrong with her that she couldn’t even talk about Quinn without wanting to cry? She didn’t want another boyfriend or husband. She didn’t.

  “What’s going on between you and Dr. Quinn?” Damian broke the peace of the waves.

  “Did you just make a joke?”

  He shrugged.

  “Nothing.”

  “Liar. He’s the reason you’re hiding out here.”

  “Am not.” She looked for something to throw at him for making her feel like a three-year-old.

  “Did he tell you he liked you and now you’re freaking out?”

  She fell back on the grass, arms flung over her head. “I am predictable.”

  “I’m sure you can say the same about me.”

  “Yes. But you like being that way. No change. Keep it simple. No people.”

  “I like some people. I like you.” This strong man sounded a bit like a toddler.

  She grinned and nudged him. “Because I’m like your sister. You have to like me.”

  “Not true. Some would say you have to love your mom and dad. We’re perfect examples of how that rule can—and should—be broken. You’re my sister and I...” He took a deep breath.

  She sat up. Was he going to say the word they all avoided?

  “I care a great deal about you because I want to. You’re an important person in my life. All us De La Rosas have relationship hang-ups. It didn’t stop Xavier or Elijah.”

  “It wasn’t a smooth road for either of them.”

  “No, but they did it, and so can you. With the right person. Quinn is that person.”

  She sat up. “Why Quinn?”

  Pulling at the grass, Damian shrugged. “He likes you the way you are and doesn’t want to change you. Frank and Jared were idiots. Don’t let their voices be your truth.”

  “Those voices are very loud. Jared didn’t start out that way.”

  “Yes, he did. He was a jerk at school. But you were a teenage girl in love, and he didn’t spit his hatred at you then. Quinn treats everyone with respect all the time.”

  “He does.”

  “Belle, don’t hide because of fear. A fear that those idiots planted in you. We should have stayed to protect you, but we had impossible situations, as well.”

  “Everyone keeps telling me how strong I am. That’s not true. I wasn’t strong enough then. What if I’m not now? I’m broken inside.”

  He shifted his leg. “You fought for us when no one else cared. When we didn’t even care. You made this ranch a place we could come to and heal. You have so much to give. He’s a man you can trust.”

  He paused, then looked at her, the bright moon reflected in his dark sea-green eyes. “You gave to the wrong people, but it doesn’t mean you stop being you. You take care of people, animals, the land. It’s what you do. He does, too. It’s time you let someone love you.”

  Her throat narrowed. She opened her mouth to explain, but words didn’t form. Damian wrapped his good arm around her and pulled her to him. The hard knot in her chest broke, and all the tears she had been holding back rushed through her. She sobbed.

  The waves crashed beneath them as all the anger and sorrow poured out of her onto his shirt. She wasn’t sure how long it took, but she was wrung dry. Leaning back, she patted the wet spot. “Sorry.”

  “Don’t be. The strongest cry, Belle. It doesn’t make you weak.”

  “You don’t.”

  His mouth pulled at one corner. “Don’t tell anyone, but yeah, I do.”

  The thought of him alone in his cabin, crying, broke her already cracked heart. She needed to make a point to visit him more often. Just because he said he liked being alone didn’t mean he needed to be alone.

  “You need to give Quinn a chance.”

  She shook her head. “I’m too broken.”

  His finger traced the scar on her temple. “Frank and Jared might have bruised you and left their mark, but they did not break you. Quinn’s a good man. Give him a chance. He might deserve your love. I know you deserve to be loved.”

  “What about you? How are you going to find love locked away in that cabin of yours?”

  “The world is better off if I stay in my cabin. It’s not fear that keeps me there. It’s that I’m the problem. No one wants or deserves me.”

  “Damian. That’s not true. There are people out there who will see you and not what you lost. And you’re amazing. Most of t
he time, I forget you’re missing part of a leg. You could find the perfect woman for you if you did something other than talk to horses.”

  His laugh was rough and low. “Horses get me. It’s not just my body that’s broken. I’m pretty sure I’m incapable of loving. I’m too much like my father. My mother was the most loving woman, and she deserved better than what that man gave her.”

  “Damian, you’re not—”

  “No. It’s not about physical appearance. I don’t know how to connect. I’m broken on the inside in a way that can’t be fixed. You have a chance with Quinn. Take it.”

  With the help of his dogs, he stood and went to his horse. “Belle, I want to see you happy. I’ve also started looking into Gabby’s whereabouts. Our little sister is out there somewhere. I’m not going to interfere with her life. It’s just to ensure she is safe and happy. That’s why we sent her away. Xavier and Elijah are settled. You will be soon, if you’re brave enough. If Gabby’s life is good, that’s all the peace I need.”

  He swung himself into the saddle and waited for her to mount. In silence, he followed her home, then took off to his single-room cabin in the woods, alone.

  Her girls would grow up and have their own lives and families. Would she be as alone as Damian?

  God, give me the wisdom to know Your truth. Remove the fear. The fear was a lie from the enemy.

  What if she did open herself to Quinn and admitted she loved him? What would be the worst thing that could happen? He could discover she wasn’t what he wanted and leave. But what if he stayed and they did fit together?

  Fear was holding her back. Nothing else. That was not the example she wanted to set for her daughters. She loved Quinn, and he deserved to hear that from her.

  Not wanting to waste another minute, she raced to the kitchen and grabbed the ice cream.

  Just one knock on the cabin door and he answered with a frown on his face. “Belle?” He stepped onto the porch and closed the door. “What’s wrong?”