Kaman's World
Page 8
Well, imagine my consternation, if you will, when I purchased a copy of said unnamed magazine, read it cover to cover, and discovered...wait for it...THAT EVERY STORY IN THE BLOODY MAGAZINE VIOLATED THEIR SUBMISSION GUIDELINES!!!
Did I send my story to them? No, I did not! Because...and I know you can guess this part...why send them a story that exactly conforms to their stupid guidelines just so they can send me a rejection saying that they cannot use the type of story I’ve submitted? And you KNOW they’d do it, too!
Screw them!
And for all those paying attention, you have most likely noticed the circulation of all those magazines falling year after year. Those that haven’t already folded, that is.
So tell me, if fewer and fewer of the reading public are buying their rags, and more and more folks are sending stories to the NY traditional publishers, what does that tell us?
Maybe:
1. The only folks buying their publications are those with the intention of sending them a story!
2. There are more people writing than reading!
3. Nobody is even reading this...what I’m writing! So I can say all sorts of bizarre things
such as: “The end of the world is upon us because women have been let out of the kitchen” and, “All Mexicans should be sent back to Canada, where they came from”!
See? I said it...and the world’s still here! But we all know the real reason why the world’s about to end, don’t we?
Because we let Wendy Pini write and draw all those blasted elf comics! That’s why!
My life’s never been the same since I learned Valiant’s Eternal Warrior was nothing but a rip-off of Barry Sadler’s Casa: The Eternal Mercenary series!
See where being well-read gets you?
Peace! Love! Dove!
Oh, one last thing before I shuffle off! If we could get our mitts on a working time machine, and went back a few years, kidnapped Peter Jackson, held a loaded banana to his head, and gave him the choice of either eating five-pounds of broken glass or including Tom Bombadil in The Fellowship of the Ring, which do you think he’d pick?
Just wondering...