Releasing Keanu

by Davis, Siobhan

  “I know,” I whisper, squeezing her hands. “I feel it in every part of me.”

  “It is not weakness to lean on loved ones in times of need. To let them support and protect us. You need him now, and you need your mom now. They love you and want to help you. Accept their help and their love and you will find the strength to handle what comes next.”

  “Thank you, Denise.”

  She stands. “I am here for you too. We still have our regular Wednesday appointment, but if you need to meet before then we can schedule another session. And I am always at the end of the phone. Call me anytime.”

  I rise. “Thank you. I will.”

  “You are going to be okay, Selena. And between all of us, we will ensure you get justice.” She opens her arms, and I walk into her embrace. “Be careful and stay safe.”

  10

  Keanu

  “You okay?” I ask when we are back in the car, buckled in our seats.

  “I am. Denise helped me process some things.”

  I’m so glad Sel has Denise in her life. Honestly, it’s more than a patient-therapist relationship at this point. Denise has done so much to help her. “That’s good.” I smile over at her. “I know you’re studying psychology,” I add, because I might have checked up on her one or a hundred times during the period we were apart. “So, you’re still planning on opening a sanctuary to help others?” Besides modeling, Selena’s other goal is to open a haven where other victims of abuse can seek shelter and support.

  “I am.” Her voice resonates with determination. “Although it will take a while between my studies and raising the kind of money I’d need to turn my vision into reality.”

  “You know I’ll help.”

  She beams at me. “I know.”

  Our eyes connect across the small space, and it’s like looking into my soul. The air shifts in intensity as we stare at one another, neither of us saying anything, because we’ve never needed words to communicate.

  Selena reaches out, caressing my cheek. “Thanks for being here for me, K.”

  “Always.” I take her hand and gently turn it over, pressing a soft kiss to her wrist. A radiant smile lights up her face, and it’s the little moments like this I’ve missed the most. Her cheeks flush, and she continues smiling as she removes her hand, tucking it underneath her legs.

  “So, where to now?” I ask, turning the key and powering up the engine.

  “Would you mind if we skipped yoga and went swimming instead?” she asks.

  “A swim sounds good, but we’ll have to pick up some gear.”

  “I use a private pool near Cambridge College, and I have a locker with towels, caps, and goggles. You can pick up a pair of swim trunks in the onsite store.”

  “Perfect. Let’s go.”

  We arrive forty minutes later, separating to go into the male and female locker rooms after I purchase a pair of red swim trunks from the store.

  I sit on the edge of a lounger, waiting for Sel, watching the five other patrons swim lengths up and down the pool.

  This is an older facility, and while it’s clean and well-maintained, it looks like something from the nineteen fifties. I can see why it suits Selena though. It’s quiet, and the other members are older and stick to themselves. It gives her privacy in a less crowded space.

  The door swings open and Selena appears in my line of sight. She’s wearing a plain black swimsuit that reveals every angle of her lithe body. The curve of her small tits. The dip of her shapely waist. Those long, long legs that seem to go on for miles. Her hair is tucked up in a swim cap, and she has goggles resting on top of her head.

  She walks toward me, carrying a towel, a cap, and a set of goggles, and our surroundings disappear as my gaze treks up every inch of her body. The scars on her upper thighs are only noticeable if you know to look for them, but I’m amazed at how confidently she is striding toward me, because she always shied away from displaying those marked parts of her body. She never liked me touching her in those places, and I always respected her wishes.

  But something has definitely shifted.

  And I’m so fucking proud of her for facing up to her fears.

  For fighting so hard to overcome the trauma of her past.

  If I didn’t love her to the moon and back already, I surely would now.

  Her full mouth broadens into a shy smile, but she keeps her gaze locked on me the entire time as she approaches.

  “Hey.” She perches on the edge of the lounger beside me, handing me the supplies.

  “Hey yourself.” I take the items from her, placing the towel behind me and wasting no time putting the cap on. I place my goggles around my neck, never taking my eyes off her. I swivel my legs, and our bare knees touch, sending delicious tremors ricocheting all over my body. “You look beautiful.” I drink in her gorgeous eyes, noting the green and gold hues are more prominent today. She stares deep into my eyes, and a faint blush stains her pale cheeks.

  “Thank you.”

  I reach forward, taking her elegant hands in mine. “I’m glad you came to me yesterday.”

  “Me too.” Emotion swims in her eyes. “You could have turned me away, but you didn’t. I appreciate that so much. I appreciate you so much.”

  Her tongue darts out, wetting her lips in an anxious tell, and my eyes latch onto her luscious mouth. We are leaning toward one another, our bodies straining for closeness, and I want nothing more than to bridge the gap and end this distance, claiming her lips and reminding her that she’s mine.

  But I can’t be the one to do it.

  She needs to be in control.

  Not because it helps keep her anxiety at bay, but because I need to know she wants this too.

  Her eyes drop to my lips, and electricity crackles in the space between us. All the tiny hairs on my arms stand to attention, along with the snake in my shorts. My gaze wanders over her face, down lower, lingering a moment on the tight peaks of her tits evident through the material of her swimsuit. She sucks in a gasp, and I lift my eyes, watching her ogling the semi in my shorts with a look I’ve rarely seen on her before.

  Selena looks aroused. And I’ve seen that plenty of times on her face. But this time it’s not accompanied by sheer panic and fear. Her gaze rises to my face, and her eyes are darker, drenched in lust, and it turns the semi in my shorts to a solid block of muscle.

  She shifts on her lounger, moving closer, and my heart is banging around my chest, looking for a way out. Sheer liquid lust fuels the blood flowing through my veins, and it makes a sharp detour, heading south, hardening my dick to the point of pain.

  A part of me wants to grab her onto my lap and grind my aching cock against her sweet softness as I devour her mouth and caress every inch of her beautiful body. But we have an audience, and I would never treat Selena like that. She deserves the gentlest of touches. In familiar surroundings, where she feels comfortable and safe.

  I hop up, discreetly adjusting the rock in my trunks, breaking the magnetic spell we’re under. I extend my hand. “Let’s swim.”

  Her soft flesh meets mine, and I guide her to the swimming pool, hastily thinking unsexy thoughts in a bid to deflate the monster erection I’m trying to disguise by hiding behind her body.

  * * *

  “I’ll cook,” Selena announces later that evening when we are back at the condo. We have a couple hours before her mom and my brother Keven are dropping by.

  “I don’t mind cooking,” I protest.

  “You cooked last night. It’s my turn, and besides, I enjoy cooking. It helps me de-stress.” She pulls her long blonde hair up into a messy bun and opens the refrigerator door, peering inside to inspect the contents. Her peachy ass is right in my face, molded to the skinny jeans she’s wearing, and my boner is suddenly back in full force.

  This is starting to become a problem.

  “I’m going to talk to Kent,” I blurt, needing to get out of here before I do something rash, like suggest we forgo dinner and lock ourselves in my bedro
om.

  Her spine stiffens, and she straightens, turning to face me. “You’ll tell him?”

  I step toward her. “I don’t have to if you’ve changed your mind.”

  Her brief moment of doubt passes. She shakes her head, sending me a determined look. “I haven’t, and I think it’s best you tell him before Mom and your older brother arrive.”

  “Okay.” I walk right up to her, slowly leaning down and pressing my lips to her cheek. The delicate fragrance of lavender and vanilla swirls around me, and combined with the feel of her silky-smooth skin, I’m a goner. “Sel,” I whisper, drawing her in close but not too close, because I don’t want the snake in my pants to scare her. “Have I told you how much I love having you here?” I whisper, and she shivers. I mentally fist pump the air. It’s good to know I affect her the same way she affects me.

  “You might have mentioned that on the way home when you convinced me to stay here for longer.” I can hear the smile in her voice.

  “It didn’t take much convincing,” I supply, raising my hand slowly and threading it through her hair.

  “Because I love being here as much as you love having me at your place.” She tilts her head up, and our noses touch. It would take very little to lower my mouth and brush my lips against hers, and I want that so badly. That same pulsing electricity is back again, humming and purring, almost taunting us to act on it. My hip nudges against hers, my erection prodding her stomach. I jerk back, instinctively, examining her face carefully, but all I see is the same wanton desire from earlier.

  Her eyes burn bright as she stretches up, pressing her lips to the corner of my mouth.

  I stop breathing, standing as still as a statue, shocked and elated she touched me so freely.

  She kisses the other corner of my mouth, and I feel her body trembling. “Go talk to your brother, and later, I want to talk about us.”

  I press my forehead to hers, briefly closing my eyes. “I’d like that.”

  Her warm smile heats me from the outside in, and it’s remarkable. Because her situation is fraught with danger, and she’s clearly afraid, but she is holding it together, and that is massive.

  I stumble from the room in a bit of a daze, shaking myself out of it when I approach Kent’s room. I rap on the door, not daring to enter in case he’s jerking off, watching porn, or has some fuck bunnies squirreled away in the master suite on the sly.

  He opens the door, dressed in a pair of sweats, beads of water dotting his bare upper torso, confirming he’s not long out of the shower. “Sup?”

  “I was hoping to talk to you. About Selena.”

  “Sure.” He leaves the door open, and I follow him inside, closing it behind me.

  “What I have to say is some heavy shit,” I supply, trailing him to the seated area at the back of the large room.

  “Okay.” He flops down on the couch, and I sit on the one across from him.

  “I need to dial Kev in.”

  He arches a brow but passes no comment.

  Our older brother answers on the fourth ring. “Keanu.”

  “Kev. I’m with Kent, and the stuff I need to tell him you need to hear too.”

  “Is this connected to what you need to speak to me about tonight? It’s about Selena?” he asks as I put him on speaker.

  “Yes.”

  “Okay. I’m all ears.”

  My foot taps idly off the floor, and bile floods my mouth as I prepare to explain. Kent eyes me intensely, but he doesn’t rush me, and neither does Kev. “You can’t share what I’m about to tell you with anyone. And I mean anyone. That includes the FBI and Cheryl, Kev.”

  While I’m hoping we might be able to get the FBI on the case to help nail that bastard Lawrence, I don’t want my brother talking to anyone until after we’ve spoken later. Any potential discussions with the FBI will only happen when it’s been agreed in advance and where Selena wants it.

  This is her life. Her justice to claim. And none of us has a right to force her into anything she doesn’t want to do.

  “I don’t like keeping secrets from my fiancée,” Kev says through the line, “but there are certain things I can’t tell her about my work, and she gets it. I have a feeling she would understand why I can’t talk to her about this, so go ahead. I won’t speak of this to anyone.”

  I know Kev won’t. He’s kept so many secrets for our family, and he’s used to keeping things close to his chest.

  Kent is a different story.

  He’s a bit of a loose cannon at times, and I need to know he can keep this to himself. I eyeball my triplet. “You cannot breathe a word of this to anyone. Not even Keats or anyone else in the family. Not unless Selena wants them to know.”

  “I promise I will keep this confidential.” Sincerity bleeds from his tone and his face, and I nod.

  “There’s no easy way to say any of this, so I’m just putting it out there,” I say, leaning my arms on my thighs. “When Selena was ten, her and her friend Juanita were abducted by pedophiles. They were split up, and Selena was taken offshore, to some island, where she was imprisoned for three years and kept as a sex slave.”

  Kent’s face whitens, and his Adam’s apple bobs in his throat. Keven is quiet on the end of the line. I guess, in his line of work, nothing has the power to shock him anymore.

  I scrub a hand along my jaw, swallowing back bile. “She was regularly drugged, beaten, tortured, and raped.”

  “Shit.” Kent sits upright, resting his elbows on his knees and burying his head in his hands.

  “When she was thirteen, she was sold to a rich American prick. He took her back to the US, and she managed to escape from a motel in Texas, and the authorities were called. She discovered her parents and her younger sister had been murdered a few months after she was kidnapped. The same fate happened to her friend’s family, leading the authorities to believe the men responsible for sex trafficking the girls were behind the murders. They have never been found. Never been brought to justice.”

  Pressure settles on my chest, compressing the oxygen in my lungs. I’ll never forget the weeks after Selena told me what happened to her. The blanket rage that swept through me imagining the things she’d endured. She was only ten when she was taken. Her childhood ended that night. Her innocence was stolen. Her future irreparably altered.

  I remember begging my mom to help. We had money, and I wanted to find those bastards who had hurt the girl I was in love with. Turns out, my parents had been working with Selena’s mom, trying to track down the culprits. They had spent considerable resources between them, hiring PIs here and overseas and talking to various government bodies, trying to find the truth. But every lead was a dead end.

  After that, they funneled their resources into charity work. Sandrine set up a charity that supports parents of kids who have been sex trafficked. It provides support and education. Gives them the tools they need to help their children heal and reintegrate into society after living through such trauma. Enables them to process their feelings and lean on others with similar experiences. Mom and Dad are their biggest donors, and they have worked behind the scenes to secure other donations. They haven’t done it publicly for fear it would shine a spotlight on Selena.

  I have so much love and respect for my parents for all they have done for her. They are good people. Not perfect, by any means, but their hearts are in the right places.

  “I’m so sorry Selena went through that, Keanu,” Keven says, his voice grave.

  “Me too,” Kent adds, looking over at me with tormented eyes. “I said some horrible things about her.”

  “You didn’t know,” I say, wanting to reassure him. “And I couldn’t tell you because Selena could barely acknowledge it to herself, let alone discuss it with anyone. She suffers from PTSD. She has panic attacks, nightmares, social anxiety, and a host of other shit she’s trying to handle.” I grind my teeth to my molars as rage twists and turns in my gut. “Yesterday, she saw the man who bought her for the first time since she escaped f
rom him.”

  Kent’s eyes widen in alarm, and Keven cusses down the line. “This is why you need to talk.”

  “Yes. We need your help.”

  “I’m coming over now,” he says. “See you soon.”

  He hangs up before I’ve had the chance to respond.

  “That’s why you said not to touch her,” Kent says, dragging his hands through his hair.

  “Yes. For the first year after she lived with her adopted mom, she screamed anytime anyone tried to touch her. She still doesn’t like strangers touching her, and those close to her have learned to be careful around her.”

  “She lets you touch her.”

  “Yes, but I’m still careful to make no fast movements, to make her aware I’m going to touch her before I do, or to ask permission.”

  “Fuck, man. I had no idea.” Kent shakes his head, and silence engulfs us for a few minutes. His eyes dart to mine. “That’s why you were a virgin.”

  I shift uncomfortably on my seat. There are some things I won’t discuss with my brother. With anyone but Selena. I toss him a curt nod.

  “Aw, man.” Kent slumps in his seat, squeezing his eyes shut. “I feel like shit for pushing you at that girl now.”

  “You didn’t force me to lose my virginity, but I’d be lying if I said I haven’t regretted it.” It was a few weeks after Selena broke things off with me, shattering my heart, and I was a hot mess. My emotions were all over the place, and one night, in a fit of anger, and a haze of alcohol, I lost my virginity to some random girl I met at Torment.