“I doubt anything you imagined is as bad as the reality.”
“I want to kill them all,” he says over a sob. “I want to fucking kill every bastard who put his hands on you without permission. Every motherfucker who hurt you.”
“I want them to rot in jail, being raped and beaten by other inmates so they get a taste of their own medicine,” I calmly say. “But more than that, I want justice for me and for Juanita and all those other boys and girls they tortured. I want to stop them from taking anyone else.”
It’s one of my biggest sources of guilt and regret. That it’s taken me this long to get myself together. I should have helped the authorities more when I was first rescued. I could have done much more to help catch these fiends. It’s why I won’t hesitate now. If Keven’s boss is willing to help, I will tell them anything I know. No matter how hard that will be.
“Juanita was taken by Freddie’s right-hand man, Hudson. An evil piece of shit. She was assaulted too, but they didn’t rape us because they needed us pure so they could auction our virginity for the highest price.” Although I didn’t know that at the time. “On the second night, we left the motel, and Freddie took me to an abandoned warehouse where I was loaded on that truck with a bunch of other girls. That’s when I was reunited with Juanita and I found out what had happened to her.”
I stop to draw a long breath, and Keanu kisses my temple. I lift my hands, linking them through his around my waist. “I can’t remember everything. Just that it was hot as hell. We were hungry and thirsty and so fucking scared. Some of the girls were talking. Whispering about where we were going.”
That’s where I first heard mention of the private island that would become my own personal hell.
Tears prick my eyes as the memories float through my damaged brain. “Eventually the truck stopped, and we were told to get out. I don’t know where it was, only that it was stifling. Hot and humid. There were several men there,” I say, bile flooding my throat. “And we were separated into different groups.” I gnaw on the inside of my cheek. “Juanita went crazy when they pulled us apart. She kicked and screamed and cussed when some guy with a bulging belly grabbed hold of her, trying to take her toward a red van.”
My mind recalls it so vividly now. Tears streak down my face. “She kicked him in the balls, and he grabbed her by the hair, screaming at her in a foreign language. She spat in his face, and he shoved her to the ground, took out a gun, and shot her in the back of the head.”
I’m full-on crying now, and Keanu turns me in his arms until I’m curled up against him. “There was blood everywhere, and all the girls were crying. I’d fallen to my knees, and I couldn’t stop screaming. Until Freddie yanked me up by my shoulders and told me that would be me next if I didn’t shut up and do what I was told.”
My tears dry up, and I shudder in his arms despite the warmth of the water. “Something vital died in me that day.” I stare deep into his devastated blue eyes. “A switch went off.”
“You went into survival mode,” he whispers.
I nod over the painful lump in my throat. “I was only ten, and I’d just seen my best friend killed, but somehow, I just knew that I had to do whatever they said to survive.”
“It’s why you are here today. It’s that inner strength you’ve always had—even when you refused to see it. I’ve always known it resides in you.”
“The trauma of that day forced the memories from my mind. Every day, for years, I’ve thought of Juanita. Wondered where she was or if she was still alive, when I’ve known all along that she was dead.”
“Your mind was protecting you the only way it knew how.”
“She was my best friend, Keanu. And I blanked how she died.” I stare at him. “If I could forget that, what else have I purposely pushed from my mind?”
14
Keanu
Selena sleeps fretfully, waking up crying and screaming, shaking and clinging to me in the bed. I don’t sleep a wink. I can’t. I’m too worried about her. And I’m so fucking mad at my brother for showing her that picture. What the hell was he thinking? I know he didn’t mean to hurt her, and in some warped way, it might have helped. But I can’t agree it makes it okay. Not when my girl is in agony. Drowning under the weight of the new memories that have resurfaced.
I kiss the top of her head, inhaling the delicate scent of her hair. I still can’t believe she let me take a bath with her. That she let me hold her and comfort her, wash and dry her, and help her into her sleep clothes.
I tried not to look. Not wanting to take advantage of the situation when she was vulnerable and broken. But it was hard. I’m a guy, and the girl I love was naked in my arms. I’m grateful I managed to control my cock and didn’t harden against her. It wasn’t challenging when she started talking because the horror of her abduction killed any lust lounging under the surface.
I want to take this girl and shelter her from the world.
If I could find a hideout where we could disappear to and live out the rest of our days in blissful ignorance and safety, I would do it.
But I know that’s only a fantasy. That it’s not what she needs. She can’t run from her past, especially not when she’s working so hard to confront it head-on.
I hate that Selena thinks she’s weak when she’s one of the strongest people I know. I’ve seen moments of clarity, where she believes that too, but her mind is struggling to hold on to that belief in the midst of what’s happening now.
I want to be her strength until she’s able to reclaim what’s already inside her.
She stirs in my arms, whimpering as she wakes up. “Morning, baby,” I whisper, pressing a kiss to her hair.
“What time is it?” she asks in a sleepy voice.
“Early. It’s not even seven. You should go back to sleep.”
“I can’t.” She shifts, and her leg slides in between mine.
Discreetly, I push my butt back, leaving more of a gap between our bodies so my morning wood doesn’t poke her and make her uncomfortable.
“I was wondering if you wanted to get out of the city?” I ask, threading my fingers through her hair. It’s in soft waves this morning because I only did a quick blow-dry on it last night after we got out of the tub.
She peers up at me, and my heart bangs around my ribcage. Selena is fucking gorgeous, and it’s so difficult keeping my hands to myself. “And go where?”
“To my parent’s place in Wellesley.” A frown dents her smooth forehead. “The house is massive, and it’s only Mom and Dad there. We also have a guest cabin on the grounds. We could stay there if you want complete privacy. It’s nice and peaceful. We could go for a walk in the woods or take a swim, and we have a gym and a home theater.”
I shrug, trying to downplay it, but I’d love to take Selena home. She’s never been to the house. And I want to take her there. She already knows Mom and Dad, and they will stay out of our way if I ask them to.
“I think I’d like that,” she says after a few beats, and I can’t contain my goofy grin.
“Yeah?”
She smiles, and I want to kiss her so fucking badly. “Yes. Getting out of the city is just what I need.”
“Cool.” I continue playing with her hair. “I love this look on you,” I admit.
“Thanks.” She bites on the corner of her lip. “I wanted to change things up, and dying my hair was part of my plan of taking back control.”
I nod, having already figured that out.
“And I thought it might help conceal my identity should I run into any of those monsters.” She gulps, and her anxiety is palpable. “You know, it’s always there.” Her eyes fix mine in place. “The fear of them finding me. Or me bumping into them. I’ve lived with that every day since I escaped. But I learned to deal with it.” She sighs, shaking her head. “And now, it’s becoming reality.” Her voice trembles, and I pull her into my chest.
“No one is letting him get near you, Sel. We’re going to keep you safe.”
* *
*
We pack a bag and grab some breakfast, and I leave a note for Kent before we hit the road.
Selena is quiet on the journey, but she looks more relaxed, and I know this is the right decision. I’ve already texted Mom to let her know we’re coming and not to make a big deal of it.
“Wow,” Selena says as we enter the gates to my parent’s large estate and I drive past the landscaped front lawn with multicolored flowerbeds and leafy shrubs. “I had no idea it was this big.”
When Mom was at the helm of KA, she used to have flowerbeds with the logo proudly displayed. In fact, Mom was a bit of a freak when it came to branded shit around the house. I can’t tell you how often we got shade thrown at us in school. Since she sold the company, she’s removed the branding and our house feels more like a home now.
“It’s just home to me,” I say, shrugging as I round the corner. The modern one-story property looms large in front of us, extending across the length of the estate, farther than the eye can see. Our house is composed of glass and wood with different angled roofs, and it’s a sophisticated-looking building. Selena’s eyes are out on stalks as we drive past the front of the house toward the garage, and I chuckle. That’s usually the reaction when people see it for the first time.
I park my X5 and kill the engine. “You still okay with this?”
She nods, smiling. “Definitely. I’m glad we came.”
My heart soars to bursting point. “I’ve always wanted to take you home. I can’t describe how happy I am that you’re finally here.”
“I’m happy to be here.” She leans across the console to place a kiss on my cheek. “Thank you for always being so patient with me. I know most guys would not have put up with the things I put you through.”
“I’m not most guys,” I say, cradling the back of her head. “And you didn’t put me through anything.” I rest my forehead on hers. “I was with you because I wanted to be with you. Because I love you. Every part of you. You have the purest soul and the purest heart, and I was drawn to you from the first moment we met.”
Soft lips brush my mouth, and I gasp.
Selena pulls back, and her eyes glow with emotion as she brushes her thumb along my lower lip. “I felt it too,” she says. “Although it confused and scared me.” I nod, completely understanding. “But there is no other man I want by my side. There never has been. It’s always been you.” Briefly, I wonder about that Todd guy she was at Torment with. I want to ask her about him, but I’m fearful it will ruin the mood, and I just want to enjoy being with her.
Tears stab my eyes, and I can’t speak over the messy ball of emotion in my throat.
“I love you, K,” she whispers. “And I want to be with you—if you’ll still have me.”
I pull her over the console, settling her in my lap, and I hold her to me, feeling a deep sense of contentment that’s been missing these last couple years. “I want to be with you too. I love you, Selena. For always.” Most guys in my shoes would probably deny the girl who callously broke things off, stomping all over their heart. But I’m not most guys. And Selena’s not like other girls. Our situation is different, and I’m not going to play hard to get just to get back at her.
We both want this, and while we still have stuff to discuss, I know we’ll work through it.
I have faith in us.
Faith in her.
She won’t hurt me again. I’m sure of it.
“We still need to talk,” she says, resting her head on my shoulder.
“And we will. Tonight.” I run my hand up and down her back. “But I’d like to enjoy our day. Just enjoy each other’s company because I have missed you so much.”
“I would love that too.” She lifts her head, cupping my face. “But I’d like to request one thing.”
“Anything. You know that.”
Her hands drop from my face, and I instantly miss her caress. She worries her lip between her teeth, and I know she’s nervous. She gulps, and I can almost see the cogs turning in her head as she considers how to say whatever it is she wants to say. I wait her out, not in a rush, letting her speak at her own pace.
“I’ve always loved how careful you are around me. How you ask permission before touching me. Or make slow, deliberate movements so I know what to expect.” The little amber flecks in her hazel eyes flare brightly. “But your touch is soothing to me. More than that. I…I crave it, and I need it, and I don’t want you to hold back anymore.”
I frown, not quite sure I understand the point she’s making. “What are you saying?”
“I want you to touch me freely, K. Whenever you feel like it. If you want to take my hand or wrap your arms around me or run your fingers up and down my arm, then I want you to just do it. Don’t ask permission, and don’t warn me. Do what comes naturally and I—” She gulps again, and a rosy-pink flush stains her delicate cheeks. “I want to be able to touch you too.” Her cheeks flush darker. “I just want to be a normal couple.”
“What about kissing? And other stuff?” I’m ecstatic at this change in direction, but I need to know the boundaries.
“Can we build up to that?”
“Absolutely.” I don’t hesitate to reassure her. And even though I long to kiss the shit out of her and do so many other things, I would wait for eternity if that’s what she needs.
“Just so we’re clear, I want all that with you.” Her eyes turn glassy. “I’m ready to experience that with you.”
Her small hands land on my chest, and I suck in a sharp breath. I can’t believe what she’s saying, because I’ve desired it for far too long. “So, I can casually touch you for now, and we’ll build up to doing more,” I say, wanting to ensure I’ve grasped it correctly.
“There is nothing casual about your touch,” she says, “but yes. That’s what I mean.”
Her eyes drift to my mouth, and I think she’s thinking about kissing me. Electricity sizzles in the space between us, and I know she can feel my cock hardening underneath her. I go to remove her from my lap, but she shakes her head. “Don’t,” she whispers. “I like feeling what I do to you.”
“I want to kiss you so badly right now,” I admit.
“I know,” she whispers, caressing my face again. “But baby steps. And we need to talk. I need to explain before anything goes any further.”
I nod, circling my arms around her shoulders and pulling her close. “I love you, and I’m never letting you go, Sel. Not ever again.”
She doesn’t reply to that, but it’s okay. We’ll have plenty of time to talk later.
15
Keanu
“Sweetheart,” Mom says, beaming at Selena. “We’re so happy to have you here.” Behind her, my dad smiles warmly at me. My grin is so wide it’s threatening to split my face in two.
“We’re going to stay at the cabin,” I say, holding Selena’s hand more firmly.
“It was cleaned recently, but let me ask Lucinda to double-check. Ensure the bed linen is fresh,” Mom says.
“Why don’t we grab some coffee and sit out in the sunroom?” Dad suggests.
“That sounds great,” Selena says, smiling shyly at my dad. Mom kisses me on the cheek, grinning as widely as me, before heading off in search of our new housekeeper.
“You two go sit down, and I’ll make the coffee,” Dad says, heading through the living room en route to the kitchen while I dump our bag underneath the sweeping staircase, leading Selena out the back way to the sunroom.
“I’ll give you a tour after coffee, and then, we can drop off our stuff.”
“Your house is beautiful,” Selena says, glancing all around her.
“Mom has done a full upgrade on the interiors the past couple years. This place has been her testing ground for her interior design business.”
Mom and Mrs. McConaughey, Brad’s mom, set up a new joint venture a few years ago, and it’s thriving. Brad is my brother Kyler’s best friend, but he’s more like a brother, having spent a lot of time in our house from the time
they were young.
Mom and Brad’s mom have ambitious plans to expand their business in the next couple years, and I’m happy for them. Mom needs to work. To have something to occupy her brain. And this time, she’s going about it the right way. Employing a skilled team as she builds and grows the business so she’s not working crazy hours or away from home very often.
When she was the majority shareholder and CEO of Kennedy Apparel, she traveled a lot. Both within the US and overseas. Dad was a stay-at-home dad, and we got used to Mom not being around. None of us liked it even though Dad did his best. I was luckier than my brothers because I worked at KA and got to see Mom there. But there are certain times when you need your mother, and there were plenty of occasions when she just wasn’t there.
It caused some issues in our household growing up, and I know Mom feels huge guilt, but things are better now. We all have a much stronger relationship with her, and I love that she’s close by whenever I need her. I also love her for caring about Selena so much. And I don’t need to be a mind reader to know both my parents are delighted to see us here. Together. My parents know Selena has a beautiful heart, and I think Mom’s always known she is the only woman for me.
In a lot of ways, Selena is like the daughter Mom never had. At least, she was until Faye showed up. Kyler’s wife came to live with us when she was seventeen, and Mom is crazy about her. They are very close. More so than Mom is with her other daughters-in-law even though I know she loves all the girls with her whole heart.
“I see what you mean,” Selena says as we walk into the sunroom. She steps close to the window, staring at the grounds outside. The wide windows offer a perfect view over the sweeping landscape with expansive manicured lawns, a rose garden, tennis and basketball courts, putting green, outdoor pool and pool house, and the thick woods at the very rear of the garden. “This place is magical.”
Releasing Keanu Page 11
