Confused by Shadows

by Geonn Cannon

  Jodie was staring straight out the windshield, her jaw tight and her lips pressed together. "I think I want to skip lunch today. I'll drive myself to work."

  "Jodie—"

  "Get out of my car, Claire."

  Lance opened the car door and resisted the urge to slam it. She walked down the sidewalk to her Mustang and climbed behind the wheel, watching Jodie's car in her rearview mirror. After a few minutes, Jodie got out of her car carrying the fast food bag. She carried it across the street, arms tight in against her body against the cold, and went around to the passenger side of Lance's car. She knocked on the window and Lance reached across the seat to open the door for her.

  Jodie slipped inside and said, "It would be stupid to just throw it out." She handed Lance one of the burgers and began unwrapping her own.

  They ate in silence for a while and Jodie finally said, "I'm still mad."

  "So am I."

  Jodie nodded and tore off a piece of her burger. She popped it into her mouth and looked out the window. "Are you still coming over tonight?"

  "If you want me to."

  Jodie thought about it and then nodded.

  "Okay, then."

  More silence, the only sounds that of burgers being unwrapped and both women chewing.

  "I'm not going to watch you throw everything away."

  "You don't have to get involved."

  "Fugitive. Remember? You get caught, reporters start sniffing around, guess who ends up all over the news?"

  Jodie stopped eating. "I'm sorry. I didn't think of that. But, Claire, we're not going to get caught."

  Lance closed her eyes. "For fuck's sake."

  "I have to go get ready for work. We can talk about it at dinner."

  "Okay."

  Jodie gathered her trash and said, "I'll see you tonight." She leaned across the seat and kissed her. Lance, despite her anger, responded to the kiss and cupped the back of Jodie's head. When they parted, Jodie said, "Still friends?"

  "Still friends," Lance said.

  Jodie smiled, but it was weak. "Good. Tonight. Long talk."

  Lance nodded and watched Jodie get out of the car. She waited until Jodie crossed the street before she started the engine and pulled away from the curb.

  #

  The hostess kept casting huffy looks over her shoulder as she led Lance between the tables, but Lance ignored them. When they reached a tall oak door marked 'Office,' the girl knocked and waited patiently for a reply. Finally, the door opened and a redheaded woman with jade green eyes opened the door. She stared icicles at the hostess and said, "What do you want?"

  "This woman asked to speak to Mrs. St. John right away. She said it was urgent."

  The redhead turned her attention to Lance. A line appeared between her thin eyebrows and she said, "And who the hell are you?"

  "Carmen Landry."

  "Oh," the redhead said. Her face relaxed into an unkind smile. "We've been talking a lot about you lately." She looked over her shoulder and then opened the door a bit wider. "Come on in, Ms. Landry."

  Lance stepped into the office. Rebecca St. John was behind the desk, working on the last button of her green blouse. Lance tracked the redhead as she moved across the room to the mini bar and poured herself a glass of amber liquid. The stranger's slightly messy hair, and Rebecca's fussing with her clothes, combined to identify the smell hanging in the air. Lance knew exactly what she had interrupted, and didn't give a damn. She eyed the ring on the third finger of Rebecca's left hand. "How is your husband, Mrs. St. John?"

  "Currently making the divorce proceedings last as long as humanly possible." Rebecca was cool and professional. "State your business here, Ms. Landry." Lance looked at the redhead, but Rebecca said, "Anything you have to say to me, Ms. Gerard will hear eventually. Out with it."

  "Jodie isn't going to be your driver when you rob the Hyperion Bank."

  Rebecca's face hardened.

  "Jodie didn't tell me anything, by the way. You should be careful what kind of things you leave lying around."

  "And you should be careful whose business you stick your nose into," Gerard said. Lance looked at her and saw a gun had appeared in her right hand. She held it casually at her side, but Lance knew better than to doubt her resolve to use it.

  "Ms. Curran has agreed to assist us in our endeavor," Rebecca said. "I doubt you would have changed her mind."

  "She doesn't know I'm here. Besides, it's not my plan to talk her out of it. You're going to dump her."

  "And why in the world would I do that? I need a driver. She's the best I have available."

  "Wrong," Lance said. "If you promise to leave Jodie out of it, then I'll be your driver."

  #

  Chapter Fifteen

  Rebecca and Gerard exchanged a look. Gerard moved toward the desk and sat on the edge, the gun resting against her thigh. Rebecca leaned forward, intrigued. "This should be good. Why would we want to choose you over someone we know? Someone who has been tried and proven worthy?"

  "Because racing around a track is nothing compared to actual street driving with cops on your ass. Pedestrians, cross traffic, distractions. You're expecting someone to be a sniper when the only gun she's ever fired was attached to a video game." Insulting Jodie so harshly tore at her, but she knew it was for the greater good. "I've done it. I've been chased by the police, and I got away. I used to be a cop. I took the same defensive driving courses they did. If you want even a chance of getting away, then you'll go with me."

  Rebecca looked down at her desk blotter and then looked at Gerard. "Lucy?"

  Gerard shrugged. "Hell. I'm sold."

  "On one condition," Lance said.

  "I haven't agreed yet," Rebecca said.

  "I'll only do it if Jodie keeps her cut. Whatever you were paying her, and the car you just gave her this morning. She gets to keep all of that."

  Rebecca said, "So we're paying her to do nothing? Take no risk?"

  "You'll pay her my cut."

  Gerard laughed. "Your cut? You're going to do this for free?"

  "I'm going to do this for Jodie. My payment will be making sure she's out of trouble."

  Gerard rolled her eyes. "Oh, you're kidding me."

  Lance stared Rebecca in the eye and saw compassion there. Rebecca leaned back and said, "Jodie's security will be your payment for robbing a bank."

  "Yes."

  Rebecca nodded as if listening to an interior debater. Finally she said, "Fine. You're in."

  Gerard's eyes widened and she spun around. "Are you serious?"

  "I'll want to see her skills behind the wheel first, of course," Rebecca said. "We'll be out nothing, and we'll have someone with the skills we need."

  "You'll have to run it by Hatcher first."

  "Hatcher won't mind," Rebecca said. She stood up. "If we fill you in, you're in. There's no going back."

  Lance nodded. "Understood."

  Rebecca looked at Gerard and shared a silent communication with her. Gerard finally sighed and held her hands out in surrender. "Whatever you say, Becca."

  "Okay." To Lance, Rebecca said, "We have to speak to Mr. Hatcher. He'll have to okay things before we bring you into the circle."

  "All right. Everything is set with Jodie?"

  "Everything is set with Jodie." She extended her hand and said, "I may have been wrong about you, Ms. Landry. I didn't think you were right for my Calico. But if you're willing to do all of this for her, then I'm a big enough person to admit I was probably wrong about you."

  Lance took Rebecca's hand, squeezed, and let it go. "I'll let you two get back to whatever I interrupted." She turned and walked out of the office, already worrying about how she was going to break the news to Jodie.

  #

  Lance looked up when the elevator chimed. She was sitting next to Jodie's apartment door, arms resting on her bent knees. Jodie stepped out of the elevator and paused for just a moment when she spotted Lance. "Hi, Claire. When I said you should drop by tonight—"
r />   "I know. I didn't have anywhere else to go. Or anywhere else I wanted to go."

  Jodie held out her hand and Lance took it. Jodie pulled, and they ended up pressed against each other. They stood like that for a moment before Lance took the initiative and kissed Jodie hello. She let her lips linger, immensely relieved that Jodie was kissing her back. When they parted, Lance said, "I have some news."

  "Good news or bad news?"

  "That depends."

  Jodie stepped back and got her keys from her pocket. She unlocked the apartment door and let Lance lead the way inside. "Do I have time to take a shower?"

  "Sure. Go ahead."

  Lance sat on the couch while Jodie went down the hall. Danica leapt onto the couch and Lance filled the time petting her. She listened to the water running in the pipes and knew that the moment of truth was coming. She had sat in the hallway for hours and still had nothing to show for that time. When the shower shut off, she said, "Okay, Danica, time for you to go. Mommy's going to be yelling for a bit."

  Danica jumped down and sashayed into the kitchen. Jodie came out of the bedroom a few minutes later in sweatpants and a white tank top. She sat on the couch next to Lance and said, "All right. Quick like a band aid. What do you have to tell me?"

  "I went to Sinjin's today. I spoke with Rebecca."

  "Uh huh."

  "You're not driving the car."

  Jodie muttered, "Sweet baby Jesus."

  They sat in silence for minutes. Danica passed through the living room, looked at the two of them, and decided it was best to steer clear.

  "You get to keep the car. And whatever—"

  "Shut up, Claire." Jodie stood up and walked to the balcony. She threw open the door and stepped outside. Lance watched her lean against the railing for a minute or two, her entire body flexing as she drew fresh air into her lungs. When she came back inside, she said, "Why do you think I didn't tell you? Why do you think I was keeping it all to myself, you stupid, selfish bitch? Plans were underway when you showed up, but I didn't know you well enough. Then I started to fall for you. But there was still a code of silence over the whole thing. Rebecca didn't tell her husband, and I wasn't supposed to tell you. It's not wise to just start blabbing that we're going to...to do that...to everyone we meet."

  "Jodie—"

  "Let. Me. Finish." She dropped to her knees in front of the couch. "You told me who you were. You were a fugitive. That first night, in the coffee shop, I decided two things. One was that it didn't matter who you were when it came to the two of us. The other was there was no way in hell I was going to let you get involved with the bank robbery. It's a federal charge if you get caught, Claire. Do you understand that? You'll go to prison for life, if they don't stick a needle in your arm. No way out. Even if you managed to get away, if even one person got a good look at you, that's it. Every FBI agent in the country would know your face. It was my burden to begin with, I saw no reason to throw you into the fire just to make you worry. And now you jumped in front of the bullet. You stupid, stupid bitch."

  Tears were streaming down her face when she bent down and put her head in Lance's lap. Lance touched her hair, then bent down and covered Jodie's body with her own. "I'm sorry, Jodie. I had to."

  "Why?"

  "To protect you."

  Jodie sniffed and brushed her cheek against Lance's jeans. She lifted her head and pressed her lips to Lance's. They were both crying when Jodie climbed onto the couch, settled on Lance's lap, and pulled her close. Jodie's hands tore at Lance's clothes, and Lance pushed Jodie's tank top up and off. As Lance kissed her breasts, Jodie pushed Lance's hair out of her face and looked down at her profile. They kissed again, harder this time, and Lance pushed her hand into Jodie's pants. She stood up, holding Jodie to her with her free hand, and laid Jodie down on the sofa.

  "Yes," Jodie panted as Lance stretched out over her.

  Lance used three fingers on Jodie, one foot on the carpet for leverage, and soon both of them were panting. Something dripped from Lance's face to Jodie's, and she couldn't tell if it was a drop of sweat or a tear. It rolled down Jodie's cheek, to her upper lip, and Jodie's tongue zipped out and erased it. Lance kissed Jodie, holding her tight until Jodie began to grunt in a steady rhythm. She broke the kiss, turned her head, and gasped, "I'm coming, Claire, don't stop."

  "Jodie," Lance whispered. She pushed Jodie's hair out of her face with her free hand, kissed Jodie's temple, and said, "I love you, Jodie Curran."

  Jodie cried out and arched her back. Lance stilled her fingers and rode out the climax. Jodie sagged against the cushions and Lance kissed along her profile. When she reached Jodie's lips, she kissed them tenderly and whispered, "I love you. I'll take the bullet for you. You have so much to lose, Jodie."

  "What about you?" Jodie's eyes were filled with tears.

  "Your eyes look like gems," Lance said. She brushed her thumb under one, gathering the tears that were just starting to fall. "For the first time in over two years, I have something to lose. I have something worth losing everything for. I have you, Jodie. And I'll risk losing you in order to save you."

  Jodie closed her eyes and twin tracks fell down the sides of her face. Lance moved down and rested her head on Jodie's chest. She listened to the drum of her heart and, after a while, the sounds of her sleep-slowed breathing. Lance closed her eyes and quickly fell asleep.

  #

  "Claire."

  Lance opened her eyes and lifted her head. Jodie was watching her. "What?" Lance asked, her voice rough from sleep.

  "I'm hungry. I want to go eat."

  Lance pushed herself up. Jodie was topless, and covered her breasts with her hands as she looked for her tank top. Lance watched her as she first dabbed at her cheeks, then her underarms, with the shirt. She stood up and said, "I'm going to go change. Do you want to borrow some clothes?" She indicated Lance's coveralls.

  "Only if we're going someplace fancy."

  "Okay. I'll be right back." She went down the hall to the bedroom and left the door open as she went through her drawers. When she returned, she had changed into a dark red shirt and black pants with a wide silver belt buckle. "Do you have a preference?"

  Lance shook her head. "Anywhere with food will do." She stood up and started for the door. Jodie grabbed her arm and stopped her, forcing her to turn around. "What?"

  "I love you, too," Jodie said. "You said it. Earlier. I just wanted to say it back. I mean. I didn't just want to say it because you said it. I mean that I felt it. Before. I just don't like to be the first one in the relationship to say it because it makes me feel vulnerable and..." She growled and said, "I'm babbling like an idiot."

  Lance kissed her between the eyebrows and said, "I know what you mean. Come on. Let's go eat." She held out her hand.

  Jodie looked at it for a moment, then gripped it tightly. "Just so I know before we go, there are no more secrets between us, right? You're a fugitive, I was almost a bank robber. That's it for the big revelations, right?"

  Lance thought for a moment. "I smoked pot when I was eighteen."

  Jodie pulled her hand away. "Oh, my God. Deal breaker. Oh, my God. Tell me you didn't inhale."

  Lance smiled. "Like you're so perfect."

  Jodie looked into the kitchen and said, "Danica was named Orca when I first got her. The black and white fur thing. I changed her name because I wanted to sleep with Danica Patrick."

  "That's a respectable ambition."

  "I still want to. If the chance comes up. I'm up for a threesome, but I'm going to have sex with her whether you're there or not."

  "Duly noted."

  "Okay. Out with it. Anything else I need to know before I go out on a date with a woman who knows I love her?"

  "Just one thing."

  "Hit me. I don't think anything will surprise me now."

  "I have no fucking idea who Danica Patrick is."

  Jodie grabbed her coat off the closet door and stormed toward the front of the apartment. "Jodie," Lance sai
d, trailing behind her. Jodie slammed the door open and Lance turned off the lights, following her down the hallway. "Jodie, talk to me."

  "You're paying for dinner!" Jodie called from the stairwell.

  Lance leaned against the banister and watched Jodie go down the stairs. They weren't back where they had started; their frivolity was more than a little forced. But she could feel they were healing. Whatever that meant in this context. From two landings down, Jodie called, "Are you coming or not?"

  "Yeah," Lance called back as she started down the stairs. "Yeah, I'm coming."

  #

  They ate at a restaurant with carhops on roller skates, high school girls wearing fifties-diner costumes as they served up milkshakes and thick, juicy hamburgers. They each got an order of fries, a difference from their lunch routine that Lance tried not to read too much into. They sat alone at a round table under fluorescent lights that turned the little stretch of concrete into artificial day.

  They ate in silence as the waitresses swarmed around them like pastel pink and white bees, carrying orders to cars before retreating back to the main hive. Jodie made a pool of ketchup on a napkin and wordlessly slid it between her and Lance. Jodie's cell phone rang halfway through the meal and she silenced it after looking at the Caller ID.

  "Rebecca?"

  Jodie nodded and stirred the ice with her straw.

  "I'm sorry."

  "Don't be."

  They picked at their food for a few more minutes before Jodie said, "Are you done?"

  "Yeah."

  They tossed their trash and Jodie led the way back to her Torino. Lance didn't think about where they were going until they passed a park she didn't recognize. She looked around and said, "Where are we going?"

  "You'll see."

  They finally stopped at a park that hugged a large manmade pond. Jodie turned off the car and pushed the Hawksley Workman CD into the player. He began to sing and, without another word, she turned and crawled into the backseat.