by JJ King
So much had changed for me since my first week. I’d gone from being a ghost on campus, wandering around without a single friend or even acquaintance, to having a group of friends who were funny and accepting.
I’d also gone from having no love interests to having three, so that was a thing that had changed.
I stripped off my Academy uniform, hung it up, and reached for a white eyelet dress and sandals. The Academy was hosting its first pack run tonight, it was starting in just half an hour, but I couldn’t seem to find the joy the promise of running as my wolf usually loosed.
My new friends had all agreed to meet and run together, but as the moon rose high in the hot summer night sky, my heart longed to run with another pack, my pack. I swallowed the lump of emotion that filled my throat as I realized I wasn’t thinking of my sisters back in Ireland. I was thinking of my guys.
Leaving everything behind but the clothes on my body and the sandals on my feet, I left my room and headed towards the back lawn.
The wrought-iron fence that surrounded Omega Wolf Academy’s campus opened through four massive gates located to the north, south, east, and west of the Administration building, which had been built at the center of the property. The northern gate was wide open now and students milled around on the grass, wearing little more than eager smiles. Scattered throughout the human population were wolves, students who’d shifted already, urged on by the lure of the full moon. I watched a group of guys wrestle like small children, nipping at one another and throwing their weight around.
The mood was joyful and light, the complete antithesis of how I felt. I scanned the crowd, looking for familiar curls, familiar piercing eyes, or familiar radiant skin, but they weren’t there. I squeezed my eyes shut and breathed through the pain, wrapping my arms around my waist despite the heat in the air.
I knew I’d promised to wait for my friends, but my chest ached with pressure that just seemed to increase with every passing second and I couldn’t take it any longer. I kicked off my sandals and pulled the thin material of my dress over my head, then tossed it, carelessly, to the grass and stepped through the open gate towards freedom and relief.
The moon called to my blood, spoke to my wolf, so that when I reached out for her, she came instantly. Pain and magic flowed through my body, altering my bones, shifting my muscles and skin until I melted away and thick white fur sprouted from my changed skin. I glanced down at my fur, almost glowing under the moonlight, and felt the first trickle of joy seep into me. I’d honestly wondered if it would be pink now and was glad to see that it wasn’t.
My muscles bunched beneath me before I could even really put the thought into words and I sprang forward landing on my forelegs, feeling the give of the fertile earth beneath my paws. My mouth split open in a wolfish grin as I raced forward and disappeared into the forest, completely alone, for the moment.
I ran with every bit of energy that had been pent up inside me for the last several weeks, with every bit of energy that had ever been pent up inside me when I’d been locked in that mountain for my entire life. I let it out, I reached deeper inside me, pulling it out from the dark places where I’d stuffed it down for so long. With it came grief, and anger, need, and want, so many desperate emotions I couldn’t separate them. They blended together and took me over, pushing me further and faster. I don’t know why I needed it, but I did, so I heaved myself to a halt, threw back my head, and loosed a howl that ripped from my soul.
Then I was off again, tearing through the trees, dipping below branches, and leaping over fallen logs as my heart raced and my chest heaved. I felt like I was in the center of the wild storm, a hurricane ripping around me, and completely unable to wrench myself free. I ran because I didn’t know what I would do to survive if I stopped.
The world fell away, and it was just me, the moon, and the earth beneath my feet. I didn’t know how much time had passed since I’d slipped away and taken my head start, but I had to assume that my peaceful existence would be shattered soon by the presence of other wolves. The thought pushed me further and I wondered how far I would go to stay free.
They told us during orientation that the outer grounds of Omega Wolf Academy were spread over a massive expanse of land. I didn’t remember how many acres, just that it had relaxed something inside me. I’d have access to land even if the main campus was enclosed within a fence. Just the thought of being deprived of space, wilderness, and fresh air ever again made my stomach churn.
I was just pushing the thought away, trying to focus on the here and now, when I heard the sound of racing wolves somewhere behind me. I didn’t look, didn’t so much as scent the air to see who they were, to see if they were friend or foe, I just pushed harder. I didn’t care who they were. I wanted to be alone.
I skirted around the edge of a small pond, edged by thick bushes, burdened by berries that sweetened the air. Maybe those behind me would stop and taste the offerings, I thought hopefully, the sound of footfall only got closer no matter how hard I pushed.
When they were right on my heels, I threw myself into a turn, lowered my shoulders, and growled fiercely at the intruders, then staggered, barely keeping myself upright, and a soft whine slipped from my lips.
Standing together, side-by-side, mere feet in front of me, stood Lucian, Chase, and Dimitri.
They watched me, their eyes bright with adrenaline from the run and the chase. Their chests heaved with enough exertion that I felt a thrill of pride they’d had to push so hard to catch me. Pride was replaced a second later with confusion and the heavy pit of regret and dread that had lived inside my stomach all week, like slow acting poison.
I shifted slowly from foot to foot, uncertain of how to act around them. They’d walked away from me, not forever, although the week had felt like forever.
Part of me wanted to shift back so I could ask them all the questions that had been brewing inside me, but that part was mitigated by my wolf, who still itched with the need to run under the brilliant moonlight and release the wildness within.
I closed my eyes and tried to slow my racing thoughts enough to think it through, to understand what my swirling emotions needed most. I’d felt so lost without them and now they were here, all three of them, waiting for me silently with no pressure, only quiet assurance that whatever I decided, they’d accept.
It was impossible to decipher the push and pull of my emotions amidst my growing awareness of their effect on me. Just moments ago, I’d felt caught up in a maelstrom, buffeted from all sides, and now…
Now, I felt whole.
I opened my eyes and looked at them, really looked at them, standing shoulder to shoulder, best friends once more. I could sense no animosity between them, no jealousy, nothing that would tear them apart. Yet, they were each there for me and, apparently, accepting of the fact that I wanted not one, but all three of them.
My body shivered at the enormity of it as an errant thought raced through my mind for just a split second. This wasn’t normal. I wasn’t normal.
I shoved the thought away with as much force as I could muster. Nothing about our circumstance might be normal, but they were our circumstances, not anyone else’s. Normal or not, they made me feel whole. Each, on their own, made me feel safe, and seen, and desired, but, together, it was indescribable. I stepped forward and let them encircle me, then sighed as each of them pressed their bodies against mine.
Sweet joy flowed through my veins, so perfect that I dared not question it. I bumped against them, nudging my nose to each one in turn, then darted through a slim hole in their circle and raced away, glancing back over my shoulder for a split second to make sure they understood the game.
They nipped at my hind legs playfully and raced around me, disappearing into the thick trees and reappearing a moment later to leap over an obstacle or nuzzle my flank.
We played, like children, grinning under the full moonlight until the undeniable sound of encroaching wolves broke through our personal paradise. As others appr
oached, the niggling doubt I tried so hard to push away, that this was wrong, that others would judge us, reared its ugly head and pressed hard against my sternum. I tried to ignore it, to dismiss it as if it were nothing, but that voice inside my head that whispered too often that I was damaged, that I was unnatural, that somehow, the way I’d been made was influencing my guys.
Confusion and sharp panic raged to life in my veins. I looked at each of them, so gorgeous, so much more than someone like me deserved, and gasped to get enough oxygen into my lungs.
The inexplicable connection between us that drew us together like moths to the flame would be scrutinized when others found out. Our kind embraced their sexuality, so group sexuality wasn’t exactly uncommon but, no matter how I looked at it, I couldn’t see us as a casual group sex situation. There was more here, more than I was ready to understand or embrace. The feeling of restriction on my lungs increased, making me feel lightheaded.
They whined and bumped up against me, worry written in their beautiful eyes, but the calm that had descended on me with their arrival was nowhere to be found. I backed away, shaking my head and hoping they’d understand, then tore away into the forest.
They didn’t follow, which both eased the pressure on my lungs and increased the anxiety churning in my stomach. I headed further north, needing to test the limits, needing to put distance between us, even though it was the last thing my heart wanted.
And as I ran, the sound of an oddly familiar howl that I just couldn’t place pierced the night sky, sending shivers along my spine that resurrected a feeling of dread I thought I’d put to bed long ago.
Chapter 10
I sliced through the water, pushing myself, enjoying the simple pleasure of a good swim after a night of running.
My body felt loose, better than it had in a while. Even my shoulder muscles, which had been perpetually tight since I'd started classes, were relaxed. I wasn't sure why, seeing as my life was anything but settled and easy at the moment. Not that it had ever been easy but, at least, I'd understood it before.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that I was connecting with three separate guys. The fact that all three were best friends made the situation even more unbelievable. What were the chances that they would be drawn together as friends who were more than friends, as brothers, all of whom were deeply attracted to the same girl?
What was so special about me?
I'd spent my entire life being tested and prodded by an insanely intelligent man, who'd spent his entire life looking for one girl. If there had been anything special about me, he would have noticed. So, how was this happening?
I dove, twisted, and pushed off the wall of the pool in one sinuous motion. It gave me great pleasure to do something that I’d only dreamt of as a child. There had been no swimming pool in the mountain fortress where Raphael had kept me and my sisters captive. There had been two at Rose and Liam's home in Ireland, however, so I'd taught myself how to swim and had fallen in love with the serenity that lived just beneath the surface.
My worries slipped away as I swam the length of the pool, again and again, living in the moment. When I mentally ticked off my twentieth lap, I pulled up to the edge of the pool, slicking my hair back from my face, and caught sight of Dimitri.
He was watching me, his dark eyes and serious face so intent that my stomach fluttered instantly. As always with him, anoints flared, coupled with that indescribable lure that drew me to him, like a moth to a destructive flame.
I turned my back to him, giving myself the time and space to prepare for whatever confrontation had brought Dimitri to me today. It had felt right when he'd joined me and the others last night out in the forest, but I hadn't forgotten the way he'd acted towards me and Chase at the party. He'd been vicious, and thoughtless, and possessive. I didn't know what to think of it, especially since he ran so hot and cold. I wished I had the power to turn away from him and ignore his dark moods, but the draw was too strong. I could fight with him or fight myself in an effort to stay away from him. I'd lose that last battle, I knew. I just wished I understood how I knew that.
"You know, it's considered rude to spy on people," I said casually, reaching for the towel I'd left by the side of the pool. I ran it over my arms and torso, then bent to dry off my legs, ignoring the heat of his gaze on my body.
"It's only spying if you don't want to be seen," Dimitri replied with a quirk of his dark eyebrows.
I glared at him, only mildly amused by his retort. "What do you want, Dimitri?" I wrung the water out of my hair, then wrapped the towel around my waist.
He didn't answer right away, so I prepared for something snarky or something deep. Either way, I couldn't take my eyes off his lower lip as he chewed on it before speaking.
"I wanted to talk about what happened the other night at the party." He exhaled and lifted his gaze to meet mine. In their dark, endless depths, I saw hesitation and guilt that made the words I'd been about to say dry up on my lips.
There was nothing flippant about him now, none of the cockiness I associated with him. The annoyance that had flared up on first seeing him faded and I took a moment to just look at him without any preconceived notions.
He looked nervous and uncertain, two things I'd never seen in him before. But, I reminded myself, I didn't really know him, did I? We'd only met a week ago and every single one of our interactions had been colored by high emotions. The truth was, I didn't know Dimitri. The realization rocked me.
I took the chair next to his and fidgeted with the edge of my towel, giving us both time to think before speaking.
"I was a bit of a dick," he muttered, glancing down at his shoes.
My lips pursed. I'd been waiting for some kind of personal revelation, some deep discussion that would elevate our relationship to the next level so that I didn't have to be so confused about my attraction to him. Instead, I'd gotten a confession that he'd been "a bit of a dick." Struggling to stay open to the conversation, I asked, "Why, though?"
He glanced up, looking surprised that I'd asked. He didn't know much about women, obviously, if he hadn't expected me to ask. "Why what?"
The annoyance returned and it took all my strength not to roll my eyes so hard that I'd see my brain.
"Why did you act like a dick?" I broke it down for him. Seriously, why did he even seek me out to apologize, which, technically, he hadn't yet, if he didn't know why he'd acted like an idiot?
Men.
He stared at me as if I'd asked the stupidest question in existence, lifted his hands and let them fall. "I don't know, I got mad."
I bit back a sigh. "And do you often get mad at Chase for making out with a girl?"
Dimitri scoffed. "If I did, I’d be mad all the time."
With the patience of a saint, I prompted him further. "Then why did you get mad at him for being with me?" I tapped a finger on my lips, thoughtfully. "I mean, it's not like you asked me to the party or anywhere." I dropped my fingers and smiled brightly, wondering how the hell he could be so dense.
His eyebrows furrowed, giving him that dark, menacing look that made my thighs clench. He opened and closed his mouth several times, drawing my gaze to those full, strong lips, then made a dismissive sound. "You don't even know him," Dimitri finally said, glaring at me in challenge. "You don't know anything about him. He could be a serial killer, or a thief, or a…"
"Sexy playboy who just happens to be one of your best friends?" I asked, finally letting my patience crumble. "Honestly, I have no idea how he still claims you as a friend after this shit you pulled. I know guys are aggressive and all that, but that was fucking ridiculous," I spat the words and rose to my feet.
Dimitri popped up and faced me, his shoulders squaring off as if ready for a fight. I shook my head and did sigh this time. "What are you going to do? Hit me, too?" I tilted my chin up to look him straight in the eyes, then turned and walked away.
His hand shot out and grabbed my arm a split second later,
drawing me to a halt. I whirled around, acting on instinct, and brought my hand up so fast he barely had time to blink.
My palm cracked against his cheek, splitting the air like thunder. The few other students milling around looked over with sounds of interest or shock that barely registered.
His fingers closed over my wrist and pulled my hand away from his face, where the imprint of my hand clutched his skin. With a low growl, Dimitri yanked me forward so that our bodies were pressed against each other and he was hovering directly over me, glaring down at me so close that our lips were just inches apart.
My breath shivered and the sound of it pissed me off. I yanked my arm back down and bared my teeth at him.
"Back off, Dimitri." I growled, leaning even closer into him. "And for Old Ones' sake, make up your fucking mind. Chase went for what he wanted. Be man enough to do the same." I squeezed my fists together at my side and clenched every muscle in my body to stop myself from shoving him.
He stared at me so long that it felt as if he were trying to see past my anger, straight down to my soul. It made me shiver.
His gaze flicked from my eyes to my mouth, for just a moment, almost too quick to notice, but I noticed. Every inch of my being noticed and, for a second, I thought he’d finally make his move, stop the games, and kiss me. I forced myself not to surge forward and take what I wanted.
He pulled back and glanced away, shattering the moment and my hope. Before I could think straight, he turned on his heel and strode away, spine stiff and head held high. I watched him go and wished I could either understand what was holding him back or walk away from him completely.
I held it together, my stomach churning painfully, my legs weak with regret and stubborn pride, until he disappeared around the corner, then I ran as fast as I could to the ladies’ room and threw up my breakfast.
