Clara took her time while I stood dumbfounded by the simplest kiss I’d ever experienced. It was also the most profound because I had never been kissed by a woman before.
Granted, I’d kissed my fair share of women, but those kisses had been initiated by me and controlled by me, dominated by the hunger raging within and followed by dirty, kinky sex.
This kiss threw me and it never occurred to me to take over. Instead, I lowered my hands to gently rest on her hips, providing enough gentle pressure to let her know I was there.
Her lips pressed against mine and I stooped to make it easier on her. My body reacted immediately, with my cock swelling painfully, but I didn’t rut against her. I didn’t rock my hips against her either. This wasn’t about me.
There was no need to let her know how my body reacted. She already knew, just as she knew the consequences from kissing me.
But I didn’t do any of the things she expected. I allowed the kiss to happen as she determined. When the tip of her tongue pressed against the seam of my lips, a tight groan escaped me.
“You’re killing me.” My fingers clenched on her hips and I held her away from the erection straining beneath the fly of my pants.
“I forgive you.” She pulled away and stared deep into my eyes. “I know who you are, what you are, and I forgive you.”
“You can’t.”
“You don’t get to decide.” Her lips pressed into a thin line. “I don’t understand what’s happening, or what is going to happen tonight, but I forgive you.”
I ached to take her lips back and claim them as I wanted, but I didn’t pursue that urge. This was the first time she had come to me and I’d be damned if I scared her away.
“Our guests will be here soon.” Reluctantly, I released my hold on her. “Remember your training.”
“I will.” She gave me a significant look, saying she would, even if she didn’t understand. “I wish I’d met you in a different life.”
“You’ve said that before, but do you remember what I said?”
“I do.”
“I don’t know how to be the man you want me to be, and I don’t think I can change who I am.”
“That you would even consider it means more than you’ll ever know.”
“I want to kiss you.” I took another step back. I backed away from her knowing how dangerous it was to be alone with her right now.
“Then kiss me.”
I shook my head. “I won’t be able to stop.”
“I don’t want you to stop.”
“I’ll break you.”
“Then break me.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying.”
She took a step, obliterating the distance between us. “I’m saying yes.”
“Why would you?” Her words caught me flat-footed, and I didn’t know how to respond.
“Because I don’t know what’s going to happen tonight, and I want one memory of us as we are now. I’m saying yes.”
Once those damning words fell from her lips, a switch flipped inside of me. I became something else and released the snarling beast within. I expected to pounce on her and take what I craved.
Instead, my hands, my arms, my legs, and even my ravenous cock, took a moment to simply take her in. We would make poetry together. Of that there was no doubt, but would I break her in the process? Could she endure what I needed to give?
“You don’t want what I have to offer. I’m not a gentle man.”
“I know.” She jutted her chin out. “And I do. Please, don’t make me ask again. Don’t make me beg.”
For a second, I stood there, suspended between action and inaction. My mind swam with a million possibilities, ways I’d dreamed of taking her over these long weeks.
How much time did we have? The plane had landed, but it would take time to drive from the airstrip to the house. Time to deal with welcoming the guests and social pleasantries. We had more than enough time.
I inhaled and her sweet fragrance flooded my senses and filled my lungs.
“Clara.” I wanted her to beg, but I wouldn’t force her to. She might be submissive, but humiliation was a trigger.
Easy boy.
I tried to rein in the hunger, the primal need to take not only what was already mine, but what, for the first time, had been freely offered.
Parents warn inquisitive children not to stick their fingers in electrical sockets because they’ll get burned. I knew this was a bad idea, but I wasn’t going to stop.
Clara had removed the final barrier holding me back. She gave her consent and granted permission to take as I pleased.
I should have known better. I never should have cupped the back of her head. I shouldn’t have leaned down and kissed her because the moment I did lightning struck.
Her taste, her touch, currents of energy swirled between us and slammed right into me. Crackling energy raced through me in less than a second. My heart galloped. My breathing deepened. Every thought in my brain stopped. Except for one.
She felt like life itself.
I need her now.
I played with fire taking Clara. Out of all the moments we had shared, this was the most dangerous. We weren’t alone. Anyone could walk in on us. My brain stopped and something in the air shifted between us.
Her body bent beneath my will. Her lips parted and my mouth crashed down on hers. I tasted her, tackling her full, suckable lips with testing bites. When she didn’t pull back, I made those fuckable lips mine.
She responded and just…transformed. There was no resistance. No fear. Instead, Clara met the force of my lips with the gentlest surrender. She clutched at the fabric of my shirt, gasping as I palmed her ass and ground her hips against my erection.
I took control, running my hands up and down her back, grabbing her waist, her ass, and lifting her leg to wrap around my waist. Beneath me, her body surrendered.
She moaned beneath my attack as I unleashed my restraint. The kiss turned ruthless. I sucked and plundered, brutal in my need to devour her. I’d been starving for weeks, and there was nothing in the world which would stop this.
Then she stunned me when her gasps turned needy. Electricity danced down my skin, lifting the fine hairs as it went, then it tunneled into my nerves and raced to my core where my dick took notice.
She moaned into my mouth and in another minute, I wouldn’t care who walked in on us.
“I need you, sweet Clara.”
But it was the truth. I needed her and that realization came with a punch in the gut. For the first time in my life, I needed something more than life itself.
Her lower lip slipped between her teeth, eliciting a deep groan from me as I imagined shoving my cock between her lips and fucking her mouth. Then she blinked and slowly her lip slipped free. She said nothing, but the slow nod of her head was all I needed.
“Come here.” I grabbed her wrist and pulled her over to a bench set off to the side. It had rings mounted up and down its length and at the base of each leg.
Xavier was into some kinky shit, which I respected. Given enough time, I would strap Clara down and take my time with her, punishing her with pleasure as I staved off my own.
Now was not the time for that kind of shit. I would be inside of her.
I tugged at my tie and pulled my shirt free. Her pupils dilated as I yanked the shirt over my head, then she sucked in her lower lip again as my hands went to loosen my belt. I held the buckle, thinking of the delicious things we could do with the belt.
“Someday, I’ll show you how we turn pain into pleasure, but I need to be inside of you now.”
“Do you want me on my knees?”
Dear lord, my heart about stopped beating with her offer to go to her knees.
I wanted that. I wanted my cock in her mouth, her gags as she struggled to take me fully. I wanted to bury my cock until it knocked at the back of her throat and tears spilled down her cheeks. Fucking her face had been one of my go-to fantasies as I beat myself off in the show
er desperate to relieve the terrible ache in my balls from not touching her all this time.
“I want you on your knees, against that wall, on this bench, on the floor, on your back and on all fours. I want everything.”
I’d love to tie her to Xavier’s bench and have my way with her for as long as I desired. Or better yet, I craved the day when she would allow me to tie her to something like Xavier’s St. Andrews Cross and show her how delicious pain could be between a Master and slave.
There were far too many things I wanted to do.
She glanced to the side and hugged her waist. Pink colored her cheeks. Was my sweet Clara embarrassed by the directness of my thoughts? I’d never seen this side of her. I cupped her cheek and took a strand of hair to curl around my fingers.
“What happens between us belongs to us. Don’t ever feel ashamed of what we do or what I will make you do. Do you understand?”
She gave a slow nod.
“If you’re having second thoughts, now is the time.” I would stop everything if that’s what she wanted.
Everything.
She shook her head and closed the distance. Her hands went to my fly and she looked up at me as she lowered the zipper, reached inside, and took my dick in her hand.
“Tell me what to do.” Those breathy words nearly had me coming right there.
I shoved her back against the bench, then lifted her by the hips to place her ass on the bench. “Wrap your legs around me, love, and for the love of God hold on.”
I couldn’t think. I couldn’t breathe. Her arousal flooded my senses and all I could do was want. Slowly, I leaned forward and touched our foreheads together.
“I won’t break you, but I’m not a gentle man. I don’t fuck…gently.”
But I would take my time and enjoy this. I wanted this moment imprinted on my mind forever. I reached between us and gripped just above her knees hard enough to make her gasp. I hadn’t lied. Nothing about this would be gentle.
Slowly, I dragged my fingers up the inside of her thigh. Our gazes locked and I searched for any hesitation on her part which would end this before it started. I would not take anything from her that wasn’t freely offered. I wasn’t that man anymore.
Her hands gripped the edge of the bench and her ankles crossed around my back. Her chest heaved, bringing the glorious globes of her breasts in and out of view. I would get to those in a moment.
Then I grabbed her shins, released her ankles from my back, and placed them over my shoulders. Slowly, I grazed and nibbled my way from the inside of her knees to the apex of her thighs. My lips drifted across the delicate skin with a feather-light touch meant to drive her insane.
When I got to her sex, I paused, checking one last time for any tension in her body which would force me to stop.
When I looked up, her tits jutted out and her head hung back. I could barely see the blissful expression on her face, intermingled with the slightest apprehension.
I didn’t blame her. By the time I was done, she would come unglued.
“So beautiful,” I murmured as I slipped a hand between her legs. “Fuck, but you’re wet for me.” I pressed my hand over her sex and she arched into my touch.
That was it, the last confirmation I needed. My fingers breached her entrance. Not one finger, but two. I dove in and closed my eyes imagining what her sweet heat would feel like wrapped around my cock. But first, I would drive her over the edge, owning her body, before making it mine.
Chapter 40
In my very limited sexual experience, most men knew little about the clitoris. Either they flicked it on and off, like a light switch, muddling their way through, or they treated it as no-man’s land and avoided it completely.
I had never really thought much about being fingered, finding it more annoying and frustrating than anything else. The few times I’d been subjected to the torture of drunk fingers circling around in the dark, I’d had to fake it to get them to stop.
That was not the magic happening now.
My toes curled and my core clenched as My Monster lit a fire within me. His devilish fingers worked magic and clearly knew exactly what to do.
He dipped into my sensitive folds, unleashing a host of sensations before pulling his fingers out to toy and lightly tickle that sensitive nub until my breaths came up short and my brain short-circuited.
This was happening.
Holy hell, it was happening.
And it was nothing like I thought it would be. It was better. Ten times better. No. A hundred-million-times better.
My eyes closed and my mouth opened with low needy moans.
“Yes!” I tugged at his roots, needing more.
Those fingers of his explored, not with hesitant flicks, but with the knowledge of a man who knew exactly what he wanted, and how to achieve it. Instead of using the tips of his fingers to flick and annoy, he pressed with the pads of his fingers, one at a time, until he found the right spot. Then he moved two fingers in a firm, insistent rhythm until I was incapable of rational thought.
All I could do was feel.
And I felt everything.
Every little shudder. Every spasm. Every delicious glide which drove me insane. I groaned and rocked my hips wanting more until I became a mindless thing. Never had I come unglued like this; self-conscious thoughts usually kept me constrained during sex.
All previous sexual encounters had been flat and lifeless compared to this. Was this what good sex was supposed to feel like? If so, sign me up forever.
“Oh my God!” I gripped harder and may have pulled some of his hair out. He didn’t seem to mind, if I took his low chuckle to mean anything.
“You like that?” He looked up at me with mesmerizing eyes with pupils blown out by his lust. Yeah, I wasn’t the only one affected.
His fingers continued their insistent rhythm as my orgasm built into a tidal wave of sensation. But he didn’t let it crest, pulling back when I got too close to the edge. He did that again. And again. And again, until I finally let out a frustrated whimper.
“You’ll come, sweet Clara… when I decide.”
“Please.” I wasn’t above begging.
He reminded me who was in charge, and damn if that didn’t turn me on. His fingers moved in delicious, slow circles meant to torment and excite as my body tightened and clenched, needing more.
“God, you’re incredible.” His voice dropped to a nearly reverent whisper. “So responsive.”
His mouth hovered over my sex and the heat of his breath had me aching for more. His lips pressed against my inner thigh, close, but not close enough. I wanted him…there.
I couldn’t keep my hands off him, and while his fingers worked magic between my legs, he kissed me. Our lips molded together seamlessly, if not frantically, as we tasted and licked, coming undone as one.
My hands traveled up and down his body, tracing out the sculpted perfection of his broad shoulders, running down the flex of his biceps, and gripping his wrist with insatiable hunger.
He gave a low chuckle, knowing how he held me on the precipice of my orgasm. No, not entirely mine. He owned my pleasure, showing me exactly who was in charge.
And hell if I didn’t find that sexy as fuck.
While his fingers drove me insane, his free hand cupped my face, gripped my jaw, swept along my neck and played with the curves of my body like he had all the time in the world to do nothing but soak it all in.
While he toyed with me, my body cried out for more of his touch. It didn’t matter that I was stripped naked in a room meant for pain. It didn’t matter we were making out like kids, young and eager, and incapable of keeping our hands to ourselves.
I ground my hips, thinking if I could generate just a little more pressure, it would be all I needed to release the building tension inside of me.
As our tongues tangled and twisted in a maddening dance, all I could think about was how I needed him inside of me. I needed him to take me right now.
“Please,” I begged
again, “please fuck me.”
“Is that what you want, sweet Clara? You want my cock inside of you? You want me to fuck you?”
“Yes, please.” My entire body shuddered with my need for him.
This was beyond physical relief. The man behind the monster was someone I trusted. Even if I didn’t understand everything happening around me, it didn’t matter how we came together. The moments between then and now were the ones which mattered.
“Clara—” His voice broke and he had to clear his throat. “I need to know you want this. You can say no and I’ll stop. No punishments. No repercussions. I’ll never force you to do…to do this with me.”
The hesitation in his voice surprised me because he’d forced me to do many things I would never willingly choose during our time together. But it seemed important to him that this was my choice.
And was it? There was only one answer to that. It was far past time.
“I want you inside of me, Josh. I want all of you, even the bossy bits.”
I didn’t care if it was wrong for me to use his name. If we were going to fuck, I wanted to be free to scream his name when I came.
“Even the bossy bits?” His eyes flashed dangerously. “It seems my sweet Clara is embracing her truth. Tell me you like it when I take control.”
I bit my lower lip, knowing this could be a step I wasn’t willing to take. “Please don’t make me say that.”
He pressed his forehead to mine and took a breath. “Someday, I hope to hear you beg for it, but I won’t force something that should come naturally.”
He shifted his weight and his fingers took up their maddening torture.
“But I will fuck you. I’ll fuck you because it’s all I’ve been able to think about from the very first moment I saw you.”
I shook my head because I couldn’t say the words that would acknowledge the truth he already knew. When he took control, something inside of me shifted. I could let things happen that I would never ordinarily allow, yet desired above all else. I wanted him to do that now.
When he took control away from me, I didn’t have to justify what I did, and I could lay everything at his feet. If he forced me to submit, then it wasn’t my fault that I did. More importantly, I didn’t have to admit how much I loved it. He shouldered that burden instead of me.
Embracing Fate: A Captive Hearts Novel Page 31
