He scooped me up into his arms. “You can’t suck a man’s cock and yawn while doing it.”
“I’m sorry,” I said as another yawn escaped me. “It’s not personal. I’m just a little tired. It’s been a big day.”
“I’m sure it has, but this monster needs its treat. I could spend the rest of my life inside your body. You can suck me later…after you’re rested, but right now, I need to be inside of you.”
I gave a squeal as he lifted me and pressed me against the tile. I loved seeing him relax. All his hard edges disappeared. Not that I didn’t like his hard edges, but I loved seeing this side of him too.
He was vulnerable and relaxed. I sensed those were two things he never allowed himself to be around others and treasured that he chose to share that side of himself with me. He needed more moments like this: tender moments, loving moments.
Times where he could simply be carefree.
Instead of a blowjob, I found myself with my legs once again wrapped around his hips as he fucked me against the wall of the shower.
He refused to let me dry myself, teasing me with the towel as he patted me dry. My last orgasm happened as I stood half dry in the bathroom with his head between my legs and his tongue doing wicked things.
“Why don’t you get some rest?” he asked. “There are a few things I need to finish up.”
There was no need to ask what he meant. His business arrangements needed to be finalized before that wretched man left the island. I snuggled under the covers and promptly fell asleep.
Sometime later, he woke me with a kiss and a smile which made the sea-green of his eyes glow. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close with the hopes this moment would never end.
“Stop,” he said, “you need to get up.”
“I don’t want to get up.” My stomach chose that moment to grumble, betraying me and reminding me I had skipped several meals.
“Your stomach says otherwise. Good thing, we have dinner.”
“We?” I tugged at my lower lip. “Like you and me we, or others we?”
“Others.”
“Do I have to?”
“That’s up to you, but the invite is for tomorrow night. Carson has left the island, and I’m to meet him tomorrow to finalize everything.”
“And watch the death matches.” My stomach fluttered because I knew what would happen in that ring. It had to be stopped, but before Josh could bring down the operation, there would be boys who didn’t survive. That thought gutted me. I wanted to save them all.
“This is something I can do without you. You can stay here.”
“Won’t it seem strange if you show up without your slave?”
“Probably, but it’s not something you typically bring a date to.”
“But I’m not a date. I’m your slave.”
“You were my slave,” he corrected.
“I know, but I bet he expects you to have me there. Not having me there shows weakness.”
“How’s that?”
“Because it would tell Carson you care about subjecting me to something like that. From what I understand, he gets off on watching others suffer. If you bring me, then he’ll know you’re exactly like him.”
“Clara…” Josh pulled back, “I’m sorry I ever brought you into this world. You don’t deserve it.”
“The things you did…” I rushed to reassure him, “are things I’ve forgiven. I’ll tell you that every day for the rest of my life until you believe me. I don’t want to go. If I’m being totally honest, it scares me, but it’s expected.”
“I don’t want you there. I can make an excuse.”
“And raise his suspicions?”
“It’s safest.”
I didn’t want to argue about this. The more we discussed it, the easier it would be for him to convince me I shouldn’t go. Something told me that would be disastrous.
“Josh,” I said his name to get his attention, “just answer one question. Don’t think about it, just blurt out your answer.”
“Okay?”
“Does Zane Carson expect your slave to be with you?”
“Absolutely.”
“Then it’s settled. I’m going.”
He blew out his breath and pulled me into his arms.
“As long as you know the risks. I’ll do everything to protect you, but we’ll be flying without a safety net. The invitation is for me and me alone, and yes that invitation extends to my slave. But Clara…”
“Yes?”
“You may be forced to do things around others you’re not comfortable doing. Don’t you understand? Do you see why I don’t want you there?”
“I do, and I understand. I was here when you killed Kate and Mitzy. Why wouldn’t you bring me to this? Let’s not talk about it anymore. We don’t like it, but that’s not why we’re doing it.”
He cupped my chin and stared at me with affection.
“I love how you want to save others.”
“I love you, and I’m not doing anything. I’m just the eye candy. You’re the hero for those boys.”
“I don’t know about that.” He gave a low chuckle. “But you’re definitely the finest eye candy I’ve ever seen. Now, let’s get you dressed. It’s time to meet the team.”
“I think I’m more worried about meeting them than I am about tomorrow.”
“Why’s that?”
He’d told me everything about the rapes and how he tried framing his brother for murder, and what happened to Kate and Kevin’s wife, Lily. He explained who Chambers was and how he was working for the FBI. Also, how Chambers was connected to Xavier who owned this expansive estate. Everything about Xavier’s slave operation, and how he funneled slaves through it to freedom, had been explained.
What he didn’t tell me worried me the most because none of these people were his friends. They weren’t even business associates. He’d been forced into his role by Kate, and I think Lily too, and worked under duress. I could only imagine the strained relationships surrounding him and how that must weigh on him.
He said nothing about his brother, Jake, which was the most revealing thing of all. I couldn’t imagine the strain placed on their relationship.
Those people saw the man he’d been. They didn’t know the amazing person he’d become. They didn’t feel the comfort of his love, or the desperate need within him to be forgiven. He would never ask for it, but it was something he desperately needed. He would live with their hatred for the rest of his life, if only to spare them the nearly impossible act of forgiving him.
I might be the only person in the world who saw the true man behind the mask.
“Gimme a second to get dressed,” I said, wishing it would just be us for dinner. If I could keep Josh to myself for the rest of my life, I’d be happy. I didn’t want to share him with anyone, and I didn’t want to subject him to the company of people who hated his guts.
“One second?” A mischievous glint flashed in his eye.
“Okay, five,” I said with a laugh.
“If you’re not ready in five seconds, you know where you’re headed.”
I glanced at his lap and his lusty gaze heated.
“If you put me over your lap, neither one of us is leaving this room until morning.” My stomach gave a loud rumble as if to emphasize the point. “I’ll hurry. How about that?”
“What am I supposed to do about this?” He pointed to his crotch and the very prominent swelling of his engorged cock.
“Are you superhuman? You spend more time with an erection than without.”
“It’s the filthy thoughts you put in my head. I’m constantly hard around you.”
Since freeing me, we hadn’t circled back around to anything resembling our previous power dynamic. There had been no spankings, no orders, no demands that I obey.
Instead, we spent our time forging a new path, but sometime soon, we would circle back around to what brought us together. It was an eventuality; one I eagerly anticipated and cautious
ly avoided.
I wasn’t ready for that yet, and I think he knew it.
“How about I beat off while I watch you dress?” He was also unabashed about stroking himself around me. I think it turned him on to catch me off guard, and he seemed to love making me blush. I did that now and the heat filling my cheeks had to have turned my face beet red.
I pointed to the closet. “I’m going to see what you brought from that chalet.” The chalet he’d held me at happened to belong to Xavier as well. Kate might be the one running this operation, but Xavier had to be the one funding it. “I’ll be out in a second.”
“One second?” he teased.
“As many seconds as it takes, which means you don’t have long to take care of that before dinner.”
“I want to take care of it inside you.”
“We don’t have time for another shower.”
“Why do you need a shower?”
“Because I don’t want to meet these people with cum dripping down my legs.”
“I don’t mind that. I love the thought of my cum dripping down your legs while you meet them.”
“I have no doubt you do, but the answer is no.”
I hadn’t meant to test him, but realized what happened the moment that word slipped out of my mouth.
Darkness flashed in Josh’s expression and he turned away. He said nothing, which left me standing there feeling awkward and uncomfortable.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”
He blew out a deep breath. “It’s okay, Clara. We’re going to stumble and trip over things which trigger us. You have every right to say no, and I respect it. I’ll never force you to do anything again.”
“I didn’t mean it like that. I was just teasing…you know, playing?”
“I know. That word is a hard limit for me.”
“A hard limit? I don’t understand what that means.”
“It’s something we’ll discuss later. But in consensual relationships each person has hard limits which are untouchable. We never discussed it before because you were…well, you were an unwilling participant.”
“I’m not ready for that—”
“I know.”
“No, you don’t. You cut me off before I could finish. I’m not ready for that yet, but it’s something I want to explore. It’s a part of who you are, and I want to meet all your needs, and it may be a part of me too. I just don’t know if it is.”
“That means more to me than you know.” He turned to me with a soft smile on his face. “One step at a time. Now, hurry up and get dressed. Take as long as you need.”
“Okay.”
I rushed to the closet and found something comfortable to wear. I assumed everyone had already seen me naked, which led me to choosing a more conservative dress. The white lace of the dress laid over a layer of thin white cotton. It had a high neck, mid-length sleeves, and came down to my knees. Conservative did not mean ugly or frumpy, however.
Josh had given me this dress. It was one I had earned for good behavior and it fit me like a glove, revealing more than it hid if I went by the expression on Josh’s face when I exited the closet.
“You look…stunning.”
“Thank you.”
“I want to peel that dress off you right now, it looks that good.”
“We’re never leaving this room, are we?”
He reached down and adjusted the erection tenting his pants. “Unfortunately, they’re waiting. But once this is all done, you and I are going away together where nobody can bother us and I’m going to spend all day and night fucking you.”
“What a romantic,” I teased.
“Well, not all day fucking you. There are a few things I want to try with the rope…” He let the rest of what he was going to say trail off as he opened the door. “After you, my sweet Clara.”
Those three words, my sweet Clara, had me floating on Cloud Nine. I almost stopped to give him a peck on his cheek, but one look at the hunger in his eyes, and I decided to save that for later.
It was time to face a new threat—the family who hated him.
Chapter 48
It didn’t take long to walk from my suite to the courtyard where dinner would be served. Word came through my phone that Carson and his goons had officially left the premises.
During our quick debrief while Clara slept, I received the unfortunate news that Mitzy had been unable to place the tracer on Carson’s phone. This meant I would have to take care of that when I met with Carson tomorrow.
Snowden remained an elusive prize.
I said fuck it. I didn’t care about Snowden. My goal was simple and personal. If I didn’t rescue Wu’s children, there would be no future with Clara. My head remained on a very real chopping block. Failure amounted to a death sentence. Success granted access to a new life.
If it hadn’t been for that burden over my head, I would’ve stopped this whole thing the night I bought Clara and shut down the slave auction in Georgia.
“You seem tense?” Clara slipped her hand into mine and glanced up with concern.
“Sorry, I was just thinking about…stuff.”
“Stuff?”
“Yeah…”
“I’m a good listener.”
There was no doubt about that. Unloading my past, and admitting my sins to her, had been easier than I thought. Her quiet forgiveness of all the horrible things I’d done left me feeling lighter.
Unburdened might be a better word.
Renewed fit even better.
In her, I saw the reflection of the man I should have been all along: kind, caring, compassionate, and yes…even loving.
She made me feel whole.
Although, I hadn’t shared everything. She still didn’t know about my visit to Wu and the demand he made on me. No one knew that piece. I kept it close to my chest for obvious reasons. He provided the only escape from my previous life, a true out.
“I’ve burdened you enough.”
“Okay.” Her shoulders hunched inward.
I pulled up short, stopping us at the top of a landing overlooking one of Xavier’s many courtyard gardens.
“I’ll tell you everything.” I drew her hands to my lips and kissed the backs of her knuckles. “There are still one or two things nobody knows. Things that aren’t safe for you to know just yet, but I promise there’ll be no secrets between us once this is all said and done.”
“I believe you,” she said, “and I didn’t mean to press. I guess…I just thought this dinner might be hard for you. I wanted you to know that I believe in what you’re doing.”
“Thank you.”
“Do they know that you told me?”
“They don’t know, and they’re going to throw a fit, but I don’t give a damn. You’ll never bow down to me again.”
“Except for tomorrow…”
“Well, yeah, there’s that.” I hated that the idea of her kneeling before me made my cock twitch, but I couldn’t help it.
“Is your brother going to be there?”
My breath hitched. I never specifically told her about the rift between Jake and I, but there hadn’t really been a need. An idiot could have put those pieces together.
“Honestly, I don’t know. Don’t expect much out of him. He’s not speaking to me.”
“But he’s involved…”
“Only because of Kate.”
“If she’s forgiven you, then he should too.” She made it sound like the most obvious thing in the world, as if one magically followed the other. There was one problem with her logic. My brother hated me and Kate hadn’t forgiven me.
I loved the fire in Clara’s eyes and the way her hands clenched. I loved having someone on my side for the first time in my life.
“Kate hates my guts. It’s kind of a family thing. Everyone hates me.”
“I wish they could see you the way I do.”
I did too, but that wasn’t happening.
“I don’t need that,” I lied, “not when I can look in yo
ur eyes every day for the rest of my life.”
I drew her into a hug, careful not to wake the raging beast inside my pants. I’d lost count of the number of times we’d fucked in the last twenty-four hours but suffice it to say there should be no reason to have blue balls. Except, I felt starved and needed another taste of her. I cut off our hug before my dick poked a hole through my pants.
“We should get going,” I said.
“Tell me again who’s going to be there. Kate, and your brother, Jake. I’m assuming the guy who owns this place. What was his name?”
“Xavier, and he has a slave named Raven.” I suddenly realized one bit of info I failed to mention. “Um, you should know she’s Carson’s daughter.”
“What?”
It took a moment to explain.
“That’s a lot to take in. I guess Raven and I share common history. Well, except for the dad thing.”
“How so?”
“We’re both captives who fell in love. What do you think that says about us?”
“I think it shows how forgiving two amazing women can be. Maybe you two should talk?”
I’d love for her to sit with Raven and talk about her experience.
Clara said she had forgiven me, but I’d done some terrible shit to her. Having someone she could talk to about it, who understood, would be best.
That history would always be between us, and I didn’t think Clara would ever be able to really tell me how she felt about some of the things I’d done.
Yes, I needed to get her and Raven together.
“I’d like that.” I could see the gears churning in her head, and hoped some of those headed in the right direction. Clara would never give herself to me as a slave, but maybe she’d consider a close alternative.
“Okay, so Kate and Jake,” she said, “Xavier and Raven, they’re Master/slave pairs?”
“Yes. Mitzy will be there too. She’s Kate’s assistant and the first girl you watched me kill. Of course, you know Chambers.”
“It makes sense he’s FBI. It fits him.”
“Well, he’s also submissive to Xavier, or a slave. Honestly, I don’t know how that dynamic works. He, Abrams—he’s the one who posed as Chambers business associate—as well as the two guards, Bay and Chad, are all bonded to Xavier.”
Embracing Fate: A Captive Hearts Novel Page 37
