Ms. Bitch: Finding happiness is the best revenge.

by Tricia O'Malley

  “Listen, I don’t want to get into this right now. I just need a favor, okay?” Tess ran her hand through her long dark hair, wrapping it around her finger and tugging just until it hurt a bit. She needed to feel the pain – to not go totally numb.

  “What do you need?”

  “Can I bring his guns to your house? I know Chad has a gun safe.” Tess held her breath to see if her sister would understand what she was asking.

  “Do you honestly think he’ll off himself because of this? You certainly think highly of yourself.” Vicki chattered on about men and their need for constant validation, while Tess, stung by her words, held the phone away from her face and blinked tears back. She would not let her sister win this round.

  “Listen, just take the guns, okay? I’d rather remove them completely from the situation.” Tess refrained from mentioning that perhaps Gabe would use them to threaten her. Her sister would have laughed, telling her not to flatter herself. “I also need to hang at your place for an hour, so Gabe can come pack a few bags.”

  “When?”

  “Now? I want to get this over with.”

  “Well, we did have plans to—”

  “Please,” Tess interrupted. “I don’t ask you for much, but I’m asking for this.”

  At that, Vicki paused. Then, the edge gone from her voice, she agreed.

  Tess hung up before the conversation could become any more disastrous. She had a tumultuous relationship with her sister at best, but they were all each other had. They’d lost their parents in a freak plane accident when Tess was just starting college and Vicki was a few years into her sales job for a nationwide office supply chain. Her parents had been traveling to a small island in the South Pacific on a prop plane when they’d hit a tropical storm, and the plane had gone down. It had been a dark time for the sisters.

  Tess stopped in front of the gun safe, her hand trembling as she keyed in the code. Swinging the door open, she gingerly retrieved the two handguns inside the safe, cringing as her body responded the same way it always did around guns. A cold, clammy sweat broke out across her brow, goosebumps running up her arms. Tess had never been able to explain her visceral response to guns, but she absolutely despised them. Gabe had ignored her protests about having guns in the house, citing the ridiculous argument that they’d be prepared during a home invasion. Maybe he would, Tess thought as she slowly walked downstairs as though she was carrying a bomb, but she was more likely to shoot herself in the foot than fend off a burglar with a gun.

  One of the guns was technically hers. Even knowing how much she hated guns, Gabe had bought her one for her birthday, and then insisted she go to the gun range with him. She’d blinked back tears while she learned to use the gun, her stomach roiling at the thought of ever having to shoot someone. She hadn’t touched the weapon again until now. It was just another example of many, where Tess had acquiesced to keep the peace.

  Tess made sure both guns were unloaded, then grabbed a bag from the closet, zipped them inside, put them in the trunk of the car, and headed to Vicki’s.

  After their parents died, Tess had planned to honor their memory by trying to travel as much as she could – though some would call it running away. Vicki had gone the opposite route, assuming the parental role in Tess’s life, and had spent her time trying to monitor Tess’s every move, all while doing her best to put on a front and show the world that she had the perfect life.

  Even though Vicki had sought to control Tess’s life, which Tess inherently knew came from the need to protect her, they’d still managed to share some great sisterly moments. They’d hiked in the Rocky Mountains for a weekend, laughing until they cried when they thought a bear had wandered into their camp and was knocking over their trash, only to finally peek their heads from the tent to find a chubby raccoon enjoying the spoils of their dinner. Or the times that Vicki would video chat with Tess, helping her to pick outfits for dates, or consoling her when she got a bad grade during her master’s program. Vicki had helped her choose her wedding dress, and though she’d expressed her concerns over Tess marrying Gabe, she’d still cried her way right through the ceremony and raised a glass of champagne to toast their happiness during dinner. However, over the years, they’d grown further apart than closer, as Vicki’s need for controlling her own environment and trying to live an impeccable life had driven a wedge between the two of them.

  Tess thought perfection was boring. What she craved, more than anything, was love and freedom to live her life on her terms. When she’d first met Gabe, she’d been enamored with his carefree attitude, talk of playing in a band, and the fact that he’d made her feel like she was the only one he wanted. If she was being honest with herself, the real reason she’d gotten hooked on Gabe was because she had desperately wanted to be loved. For a while, he made her feel like she was the center of his universe. Looking back now, Tess realized his incessant text messages and need to constantly be in contact with her had been his way of controlling her. She wondered if that was why her sister had never liked Gabe – because then Vicki couldn’t control Tess anymore.

  Tess’s whole life had been about trying to exert her voice, only to find herself repeatedly in situations where people tried to silence her. Vicki had told her on more than one occasion to be less difficult – less combative – and to go along with the way people wanted her to be to keep the peace.

  No more, Tess promised herself as she pulled to a stop in front of Vicki’s immaculate house – too large, in Tess’s opinion. Playing by everyone else’s rules had only gotten her here – which was exactly where she didn’t want to be.

  Before she went in, she texted Gabe that he could go to the house and pack his bags.

  Vicki met her at the door, taking the bag with a frown and handing it off to Chad to put away. At least David, her seven-year-old nephew, was happy to see her. He gave her a hug, and chatted at her until his dad returned, and the two of them headed out to the backyard.

  Vicki disappeared into the kitchen, and Tess reluctantly joined her, settling on one of the pristine white barstools as Vicki poured a pair of drinks.

  “You’ve always picked the worst men,” Vicki said, gesturing across the counter with her wine glass. Tess’s eyes slid to where Vicki’s perfectly normal husband threw a football to their adorable son.

  “Yep,” Tess said, sipping her own glass of wine and glancing at her phone, counting down the time until she could leave. Though she’d just promised herself in the car to find her backbone, Tess was just too damn tired to argue with her sister right now. “Sure do.”

  “God, remember third grade? We even heard about it in middle school.” Vicki shook her head, clucking softly in shame for her sister.

  “How could I forget?” Tess grumbled into her wine.

  Now, as an adult, the seemingly small thing of telling a cute guy she liked him wouldn’t ruin her life. But in third grade? It had been her entire world. She’d had the biggest crush on Paul for the first half of the school year. The teacher, Mrs. Fischer – had repeatedly warned the students about passing notes in class. It just so happened that the day Tess had finally worked up the nerve to confess her love to Paul was the day that Mrs. Fischer had decided she’d had enough. Intercepting the note, she’d opened it, read it, and proceeded to paste it on the chalkboard for everyone to read. The note stayed up for the remainder of the week, causing Tess to cry tears of humiliation, and Paul as well, due to all the teasing the note incurred. Not only had Tess unsuccessfully declared her love, but her crush was wholly uninterested, and horribly embarrassed by her intentions. It had been quite the blow to her tender little heart, and Tess had retreated into a shell for the rest of the year, her distrust of the trappings of love strong.

  “Oh, get over it. So he didn’t like you.” Vicki shrugged.

  “It’s not the point! That woman had no right to post something so private on the board. Could you imagine if that happened to David?”

  “He’d be fine. Toughens kids up.”
Vicki tucked a strand of hair that had dared to come loose behind her ear. “It’s not like you didn’t do the exact same thing to that other poor boy who liked you a year or two later.”

  “He embarrassed me!” Tess protested, feeling anger bubble up at her perfect sister. She’d always been the golden girl – popular in school, great at sports, perfect in relationships. All while Tess had fumbled along, finding everything a constant challenge. It seemed no matter what she did or said, she was always the disruptive one. She’d fought constantly with her parents, who made Vicki’s controlling tendencies look like air kisses. All of the most important people in her life had told her repeatedly to pipe down, when all Tess wanted was to find her voice.

  “You didn’t have to tear up his banner,” Vicki said, and shame crept through Tess. The boy she spoke of, Adam, had printed a banner for her and brought it on the school bus. It had read “Puppy Love,” and he’d unfurled it in front of all the other kids on their bus route. Instead of being pleased, Tess hadn’t known how to handle the attention – when the whole bus laughed, she’d torn up the banner and ignored Adam. Thinking of Gabe’s words, she supposed Adam had probably also called her a bitch a time or two after that.

  “I panicked, okay?”

  “And what about that guy in high school you were dating who lied about you two sleeping together? Landon? I had to have my friend’s little sister fix that mess.” Vicki sighed, shaking her head as though the burden of repairing Tess’s life was all on her shoulders.

  “You didn’t have to do anything. I defended my reputation.”

  “Yeah, but Sheila was way more popular than you, so people actually believed what she said.”

  “Is there a point to all this?” Tess asked, refilling her glass. Vicki went on, tapping a finger against her lips as she mentally cataloged all of Tess’s failings – a favorite pastime of hers.

  “Oh, and there was that nice guy in college who wanted to take you home to meet his parents. He brought you flowers and everything. You shit all over him.” Vicki shook her head sadly.

  “I didn’t shit all over him! I just told him that I couldn’t be with him anymore. I… I don’t know. He wasn’t the guy for me. I wasn’t mean to him, I just didn’t want to keep dating him. I was straightforward with him about that.”

  “Well, you broke his heart.”

  Tess blew out a breath. “Thanks for the reminder.”

  “And then you end up with wonderboy, Gabe, of all people. I still don’t know what you saw in him. Long hair, in a band… I mean, a low-level marketing job? How was he even going to take care of you?” Vicki pursed her lips again, raising a perfectly manicured eyebrow at Tess. Chad was an investment broker, as Vicki had reminded Tess repeatedly, and Vicki enjoyed showing off all the gifts he bestowed upon her.

  “Vicki,” Tess said, smiling at the wince that crossed her sister’s face, “why in the world did I go to college and get a master’s degree if I was looking for someone to ‘take care of me’? Isn’t the entire point of getting an education to be able to take care of myself?”

  “It’s not like you even use your degrees,” Vicki said, gesturing with her wine glass, “what with those little books you write now.”

  “Writing is a noble profession.” Tess’s head began to pound. “I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished.”

  “If you were going to be a writer, you could have at least taken some classes about writing, don’t you think? Instead of wasting all that money on degrees you don’t use? At the very least, maybe you could write something a little bit more literary than those… smutty little books you write now.”

  “Romance is not smut. It’s a very popular genre.” Tess sighed inwardly, knowing her defense fell on deaf ears.

  “Well, at some point, I hope you’ll consider getting a real job, considering you’re the only one employed in your relationship.”

  Tess thought of pointing out that she was about to end said “relationship.” Instead, she said, “I have to go.” She didn’t care if the time for Gabe to be at her house wasn’t up. She couldn’t sit here and listen to Vicki pick her apart a minute longer without saying something she wouldn’t be able to come back from. She set her glass down carefully and stood.

  “Wait – what are you going to do?” Vicki said, trailing after Tess. “Are you going to see a lawyer? I mean, even though I think you can do better than Gabe, shouldn’t you at least go to counseling? Divorce is a big deal, you know. It’d be so embarrassing to have to tell everyone you couldn’t make the marriage work.”

  “I didn’t make it work?” Tess whirled on Vicki and got in her flawless face. “I worked my ass off at this marriage. Do you know how many times I tried counseling with him? For the drinking? For our relationship? How many times I tried to work on our communication? And nothing. Nothing ever changed. Gabe does exactly what he wants. So don’t you dare tell me I failed at this marriage.”

  “Oh, calm down, you don’t have to be so dramatic.”

  “I wouldn’t say being upset about my life falling apart is being dramatic,” Tess bit out, her hand on the front door, keeping her voice low as David and Chad approached.

  “This is so typical of you. I’m just calling it as I see it. If you divorce, technically, it’s a failed marriage. Honestly, you’ve always been dramatic. It’s why you struggle so much. Try being less combative. You know, maybe that’s why your husband left,” Vicki said, her eyes flashing with the smallest bit of glee, fully aware of the barb she’d made.

  “He didn’t leave me, I kicked him out,” Tess hissed.

  “Really? Seems to me he left you a long time ago.”

  Chapter Five

  Tess,

  I packed some clothes and some things. A lot is left behind because I don’t know where I’m going. I’ll most likely sleep in my truck or at a friend’s house until I can figure something out. Maybe I can pick up some hours at the gym to make some extra cash. I’m not going back to work for the firm. For many reasons. That would be my last option other than moving away all together. I’d rather move away, to be honest. I’m honoring your request for space, but I hope you’ll let me know when I can come home again. There’s no doubt what I want in this world – I knew all along. In my moments of weakness, I felt nothing but shame and hatred for myself. You’ve always been more than good enough for me. I don’t know why I couldn’t believe in us. I know I can be strong enough to rebuild – that we can rebuild. I know you left your rings for me, and I’ll keep them until I put them on your finger again. In the meantime, I just don’t know what to do with myself now.

  Love you forever,

  Gabe

  “Maybe you should have thought about that before you stuck your dick in someone else,” Tess spat out, little pops of rage beginning to bubble up as she read his note once more – searching for anything that would make her want to hold on to him, to save this marriage. “This note’s all about you, Gabe. You didn’t even say you were sorry.”

  Tess had half-expected Gabe to be waiting when she pulled up at the house, but he had respected her wishes for once and packed his bags – though not without texting some serious complaints about the fact she’d taken his guns. The house was empty but for her two dogs smiling at the front door for her.

  Her phone buzzed with another text message, and Tess almost ignored it. She couldn’t deal with another “woe is me” text from Gabe or more unasked-for advice from Vicki. She glanced at it anyway to see it was from her friend, Elizabeth.

  Hey, call you in five.

  Tess wandered back to Gabe’s computer – the one thing he’d tried to take that she had refused to allow on the grounds that it was technically her company property – and sat down in his chair. Despite herself, she typed in the new password she’d made and opened the browser to see Gabe’s Facebook account still active. Shocked, she watched as a message box popped up from the girl.

  She knew she shouldn’t look. Tess already had all the answers she needed. But just like it w
as almost impossible to look away from a car accident, Tess enlarged the box and read while her husband messaged his lover. And who was she kidding? It would take a crowbar to pry her away from the computer right now.

  I can’t believe she kicked you out. Don’t you own half the house?

  Yeah, but what am I supposed to do? I can’t force her out. God, she’s such a bitch. I can’t believe she’s moved the money.

  Do you think she’ll come after us?

  Probably. Women get so crazy about this stuff. We’ll have to be careful. I hate this. I feel sick to my stomach. What am I supposed to do? Where am I going to go?

  Awww, babers, come be with me.

  You know I can’t, babers. She’ll probably be driving by like crazy.

  She knows where I live? Is that bitch going to come after me?

  Shit, she probably knows everything by now. I hate this. What am I supposed to do?

  Babers, I miss you. I can’t believe you didn’t come over last night.

  She was probably stalking me, I couldn’t let her know where I was. I stayed at Ryan’s house, babers, you know that.

  How long will he let you stay there?

  He’s got room for me for now, he said. But hopefully I won’t have to be here long.

  Is she still going to be away this Saturday?

  Tess’s eyebrows shot to her hairline at that. She had told Gabe a few weeks ago she was going to spend the day down in Indianapolis for a writer’s conference. Then Elizabeth’s name flashed on the phone screen.

  “Hey, I’m sorry I missed your call yesterday. Getting the business off the ground has been crazy.” A professional organizer, Elizabeth balanced building a new business with a busy social life out in Colorado. They’d been friends since they traveled on a semester abroad together in college.

  “Uh, we’ve got a situation.” Tess’s voice cracked.

  “Don’t tell me you’re canceling your trip to Colorado,” Elizabeth said, her voice rushed as street sounds rang out in the background.