Home at Last

by Judith Keim

  She forced a calm she didn’t feel as she was seated opposite Will. Some of those very same people who were now nodding and smiling at them were people who’d turned against her, judging her for the things her father had done.

  “Guess it’s official,” said Will, smiling and reaching for her hand. “We’re dating.”

  The waiter arrived, gave them menus, asked for water orders, and told Will the wine steward would be over to help him select the wine for the evening.

  Lulu studied the people in the room, feeling as if she was in a play she’d rehearsed for a long time. The aromas wafting through the air were tantalizing. But she already knew what she would order as her entrée.

  “If I remember correctly, you’re going to go with a veal dish. Right?” Will said.

  She blinked, surprised he’d remember such a thing. “Probably the veal piccata.” The veal dishes at Cosima were legendary.

  He turned to greet the sommelier who’d arrived with a leather-bound wine list.

  “May I help you, sir?” the man said.

  Will lifted the menu. “My date is thinking of the veal piccata, and I’m thinking I’ll go with the veal saltimbocca.”

  As the two men perused the wine list, Lulu studied her surroundings. Dark-paneled walls met a thick, ruby-red carpet. Crisp, pink linen covered the tabletops and hosted cut-crystal candle holders and a single red rose in a crystal glass. She recognized one or two movie stars but looked away. She had no interest in making visual contact with anyone else. She needed this evening to be about Will and her.

  “We’re thinking of a nice Barolo for the wine. It should pair well with the veal. Is that okay with you?” Will asked, turning her attention to him.

  “It sounds lovely,” she replied, pleased he’d included her in the decision. He’d always been generous that way.

  After the sommelier left, Will said, “Thank you for agreeing to see me tonight and on such short notice.”

  “I’m glad to be out of the house and pleased to be here.”

  He chuckled. “You’ve always been very honest. I appreciate that.” A sadness washed his face. “I’ve felt so adrift with your father gone. Then I remembered all that he’d taught me and decided to go forward with his ideas.”

  “It’s a way to honor him, I suppose, when no one else is willing to take on his role,” Lulu said, realizing the struggle he might have in running for office.

  He gave her a steady look. “How are you doing with everything?”

  She let out a long sigh. “I’ve gone through so many emotions—anger, hurt, regret, and partial acceptance. I’m still working on that. Right now, I’m trying to deal with my mother and her illness. In a way, I lost her a long time ago.”

  “You haven’t had an easy time of it, for sure,” he said.

  “Yes,” she replied, grateful he didn’t say more.

  Their wine arrived. After it was sampled and approved, the wine steward poured some into Lulu’s glass and then Will’s before quietly leaving.

  Will raised his glass. “Here’s to us!”

  She took a sip of the wine, uncertain about her feelings.

  “What do you think of the wine?” Will asked. “Now that you’ve lived in wine country, has it changed your opinion of many of them?”

  “This is a nice wine. I like it, but I’ve grown fond of pinot noir, and Chandler Hill wines are particularly good. The process of growing grapes and making wine is fascinating. You’ll have to visit someday.”

  As they made their way through the menu, Lulu relaxed. Conversation with Will was lively. He was well educated and interested in many things. He also, she discovered, had a wicked sense of humor.

  She’d just finished her veal piccata when her cell rang. She checked caller ID. Her home number. She clicked on the call. “Hello?”

  “Louise?” an unfamiliar voice asked.

  “Yes. Who’s calling, and why?”

  “This is Mrs. Sampson. Your mother has become ill with flu-like symptoms and is asking for you. I think you’d better come home. She’s quite agitated.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I understand. I’ll be there as soon as possible.” Lulu clicked off the call with mixed emotions. She was both frustrated and pleased by the fact that her mother was choosing to reach out to her even though all she wanted was one evening out, away from the house.

  “What is it?” Will asked giving her a look of concern.

  “That was the night nurse. My mother is ill and is calling for me.”

  “I’m sorry.” Will gave her hand a squeeze. “It must be so hard for you.”

  Hearing the empathy in his voice, Lulu dabbed at unexpected tears. “I have to get home. I hope you understand.”

  Though he didn’t look happy, he nodded. “We can leave if you need to.”

  “Yes, I think it’s best. I don’t want to make a scene here, and I certainly don’t want anyone to think you’ve made me cry.”

  His eyes widened. “No! We don’t want that to happen.” He signaled the waiter, explained that Lulu wasn’t feeling well, and paid the bill.

  The waiter held her chair as she got to her feet.

  They quickly exited the restaurant and waited for the valet to bring Will’s BMW to the front entrance.

  In the car on the way home, silence reigned. Lulu was glad Will didn’t try to fill the quiet with a lot of chatter.

  He pulled up to the front of her house and turned off the car’s engine. “I’ll walk you to the door.”

  Lulu waited for him to come around the back of the car to open the door for her.

  She stepped out of the car and into his arms. Resting her head against his strong chest she sighed. “I’m sorry to end the evening this way.”

  “Me, too,” he said, “but we’ll have other times.” He lifted her chin and gazed into her eyes. His lips came down on hers, sending a number of delicious sensations through her.

  She wrapped her arms around his neck, giving in to the pleasure of having strong arms surround her while his lips sent a message of their own. She knew how much she needed this kind of support and kissed him back.

  When they stepped apart, Will’s smile lit his face. “I’ve wanted to do this so many times. Now, we can. And I know your father would be pleased.”

  Lulu couldn’t hold back the sudden discomfort she felt. “This isn’t about my father.”

  “No, no. I didn’t mean to make it seem that way. Somehow, though, I like thinking he’d be excited by our dating and the plans I have for us.”

  As their lips met again, she relaxed into the kiss. There was something very nice between them. When they broke apart, Will said, “I guess I’d better leave. Maybe next time we can try my condo for privacy.”

  “We’ll see how things go.” She wasn’t going to rush into anything. He was assuming she was ready to move to the next level, and she wasn’t.

  He laughed. “Spoken like a true politician.”

  He led her up the front steps of the house and waited as she opened the door and then turned to him. “Good night. Thank you for a nice evening.”

  After closing the door, Lulu leaned against its solid surface, wondering what had just happened. Will was being totally honest with her about his vision for the future, but she wasn’t sure it was what she wanted. That would have to wait. At the moment she needed to see to her mother. Even with the night nurse there, she wanted Melba or Lulu around.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  As Thanksgiving approached, Lulu concentrated on spending time with her mother. One afternoon, with encouragement from Lulu, her mother agreed to help her bake a pumpkin pie in anticipation of the holiday. They’d already decided to stay in and order dinner from one of the best restaurants around.

  Melba stayed with them as they worked with the pie crust they’d made from scratch.

  “Remember to handle your dough carefully,” Melba warned them. “And when you’re rolling it out, stop the minute the dough sticks to the surface and doesn’t move with you. The
n, sprinkle a light dusting of flour beneath the dough and begin rolling again.”

  “I used to love making pies,” her mother said. “But it’s been years since I’ve done it.”

  Lulu smiled her encouragement. “This is a good time to begin.”

  “Yes,” added Melba. “A time to start doing many things.” She stood back and studied them. “It’s nice to see you two like this. I remember how you used to love to do things together.”

  “Really? I don’t remember many moments like that,” said Lulu.

  “You don’t?” Her mother’s surprise startled Lulu.

  “I guess I was too little. Once Teddy was born, we didn’t do much together at all.” Lulu’s matter-of-fact statement caused her mother to cover her face.

  “It’s okay, Mom. I understand,” said Lulu, hoping she hadn’t started a downward spiral of emotion in her mother.

  When her mother lifted her face, silvery trails of tears glistened on her cheeks. “Losing Teddy almost killed me. After his death, I had nothing left to offer you or your father. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

  Lulu exchanged worried glances with Melba.

  “Now, Rosalie, you know that’s not true,” Melba said firmly. “Think of all the volunteer work you did and the foundation you set up in Teddy’s name.”

  “Yeah, Mom. You’ve given a lot to the community through the years.”

  Rosalie’s laugh was bitter. “Only on those days when I managed to get out of bed. It sounds so easy to someone who doesn’t know how darkness can drag you down.” She reached over and caressed Lulu’s cheek. “I wish I’d been a better mother to you.”

  Lulu knew it would be dishonest to protest. Instead, she said, “I love you, Mom.”

  Her mother wrapped her arms around Lulu. “You are the best thing I’ve ever done. Now, I’m going to go upstairs and lie down.”

  Touched by the conversation and the hug, Lulu said, “I’ll walk you up.”

  Her mother’s smile was sad. “Thanks, but I know my way. All too well.”

  After her mother left the kitchen, Melba said, “She’s always loved you. She just didn’t know how she could compete against the darkness that hid inside her.”

  Lulu plopped down into a kitchen chair feeling as if she didn’t know who she or her parents were. Everything she thought she knew about them now seemed out of kilter.

  Melba put a hand on Lulu’s shoulder. It felt right. Melba had been the one person she could trust to be there for her. She looked up at her now.

  “I’m so confused. It’s all so complicated.”

  “Yes, life itself is very complicated. It helps to remember the good times, the nice things that happened. Your mother told me earlier that you had a date with Will. How did that go?”

  Lulu exhaled a long sigh. “That’s another thing I’m confused about. After the Thanksgiving celebration here, I’m going back to Chandler Hill to get my car and take time to think things over. You’ll be here with my mother. Right?”

  “Like always,” Melba said. “I told both your parents I’d always be there for them and you.”

  “Thanks,” Lulu whispered, wondering how one family could be so full of hurt.

  ###

  Thanksgiving was bright and sunny—a day Lulu would always remember because her mother was experiencing one of her “up” days. With Melba off for the holiday, Lulu and her mother shared breakfast in the kitchen and then spent the afternoon outside in the garden resting and reading.

  In this island of calmness, Lulu told her mother about Will’s wanting to build a relationship with her.

  “Ah, Will. Your father’s favorite planet circling his sun.” Her mother’s lips curved. “Will was always kind to me, which I appreciated. He has a lot to offer you, but politics is a nasty business. Is that what you want? Whether you merely work on his campaign or end up marrying him, it will be difficult.”

  “But think of the good work we can do, Mom. Dad may have hurt us both, but he did a lot of good for others. And now I have the chance to help Will do good things for the country.”

  Her mother studied her. “You’ll know if it’s the right choice. Whatever that decision, be sure it’s good for you, not for him.”

  Emboldened by their conversation, Lulu said, “I hope I haven’t hurt you by becoming friends with Cami Chandler.”

  Her mother’s laugh was soft, sad. “I’ve known about her for a long time. Not too long after we were married, I found a letter written by her mother in your father’s desk. I put it back without discussing it with him. By then, I was pregnant with you, and he was running for office. As painful as it might have once been for me, I’m glad you’re getting to know her. It’s the closure of one circle of life.”

  Stunned by the news, Lulu gaped at her mother. “You knew about the letter way back then and about Cami and her mother? After Dad died, I found it too but kept it hidden from you so you wouldn’t be hurt.”

  “Yes. I never thought you and she would find one another and saw no need for you to meet. Not really. But life can sometimes unfold in ways you never dreamed.”

  Lulu reached for her mother’s hand and leaned over to kiss her cheek. “Mom, I’m just beginning to truly know you. I’m very glad we’ve had this chance to talk. It means the world to me.”

  “And to me,” her mother said, smiling shyly at her. “Let’s go see about getting that dinner. For once, I’m hungry.”

  Feeling as if she was in a dream of normalcy, Lulu went inside to check on their food order.

  ###

  After they’d eaten dinner, stored the leftovers in the refrigerator, and served coffee, Lulu decided to ask her mother if it was okay for her to make the trip back to Chandler Hill.

  “I thought I’d leave sometime this weekend for Chandler Hill to pick up my car. Is that all right with you?”

  “You’re a grown woman, Lulu. You can make those plans on your own.”

  “Yes, but, Mom, I need to know you’ll be all right. I promised ...”

  Her mother’s eyes widened. She cut Lulu off. “Oh my God! You promised your father you’d take care of me? Is that it?”

  Lulu hesitated, uncertain how to answer.

  “Never mind. I know it’s true.” Her mother shook her head sadly. “My sweet child, what a burden you’ve been given. Yes! By all means go! Take time to think things through. Melba is here with me, along with that godforsaken night nurse you both insisted on hiring even though I told you I’m feeling better than I have in years and years.” Her mother rose from her chair at the dining room table and paced the room. “I hate being like this. I really do.”

  Lulu pushed to her feet and took hold her mother’s arm. “It’s been a wonderful day. Come sit with me in the den. We’ll find a television program or a movie.”

  Her mother’s shoulders drooped. “Sorry. Yes, it’s been a lovely day. Now, let’s watch a movie.”

  They sank onto the couch in the den together. Relieved the tense moment had passed, Lulu searched for a lighthearted movie. Soon they were engrossed in a tale about two friends visiting Italy together and finding love.

  ###

  The next morning, Lulu rose and stretched with renewed optimism. If everything was still okay, she hoped to catch a flight to Portland. It was such a busy weekend at the inn, she intended to take a limo from there and surprise everyone at Chandler Hill.

  After Melba arrived, Lulu told her about the day she and her mother had shared and then said, “Do you think I can leave today for Oregon? Things seem so good, and Mom told me to go ahead and go. Did you know she knew about Cami all along?”

  Melba studied her. “Yes, I’ve known about her too. Your father loved her mother so much.”

  “Is there anything else I need to know?” Lulu said with dismay. Everyone else seemed to know much more about her parents than she did.

  “No, sweetheart. I think all the secrets have been exposed. Now it’s time for you to leave them behind and make your own journey through life.”<
br />
  “That’s one reason I need to go back to Chandler Hill.”

  Melba laughed. “Well, then, I think you’d better go ahead and make the call. We’ll be fine here.”

  With a great deal of effort, Lulu finally secured a reservation, packed, said her goodbyes, and caught a cab to the airport.

  Waiting for her flight, she called Will. “Happy Thanksgiving again!” They’d talked yesterday, but only briefly, and she’d sent him a quick text this morning.

  He laughed. “I missed you at my family’s dinner. Maybe next year. How did the afternoon and evening go with your mother?”

  “It was amazing. She and I talked about a lot of things. She’s so much wiser than I knew,” Lulu continued to babble. “Of course, I know this mood swing might not last, but it’s pretty wonderful.”

  “I’m glad you had this time together. Rosalie’s a lovely woman.”

  Lulu chuckled happily. “She called you a planet around my father’s sun.”

  “Very apt comparison,” he said good-naturedly. “I’m honored to be part of the Kingsley solar system. Seriously, I’ve realized I’ve cared for you for a long time.”

  “I had the biggest crush on you when I was little,” said Lulu, “but I never dreamed you’d feel this way about me. This time away will allow me to do some serious thinking.”

  “Have a safe trip. Can’t wait to see you again.”

  “Me, either. Talk to you later.” Lulu clicked off the call with a sense of satisfaction. A bright future beckoned to her.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Walking through the terminal at the Portland International Airport, Lulu felt her spirits lift. Soon she’d be back at Chandler Hill with her newly discovered half-sister and the group of family and friends who already meant so much to her. She loved her mother, but being with her sometimes felt as if she were in a play without a script.

  The gray, rainy weather outside the terminal did nothing to dampen her enthusiasm. The cool, moist air smelling so fresh compared to home felt good against her skin. Best of all, she felt free of the burden of her life in California.