The Genie Out of the Vat

by Eric Flint

  Then the guns had fallen silent.

  "Where do you think you're going? Come on, form up. A proper military formation, now. The Magh' are coming," said the lieutenant, his voice cracking.

  Ariel leapt acrobatically onto his right shoulder. And Gobbo to the other. "If what, you shogging whoreson?" asked Gobbo, twitching his whiskers.

  The lieutenant nearly fell over backwards. "Get off me! Get to your posts!" He pawed at the two rats. "Argh, let go!"

  Gobbo's long red tipped fangs had closed through his thumb. Ariel was even more direct. She had her teeth at his throat.

  Pooh-Bah looked up at the lieutenant, who was now standing very, very still. The rat said, pompously. "And secrets of state, I will sell for a very reasonable rate: This is one that never will be missed."

  Ariel pulled her fangs away from his throat. "Methinks you must choose, Bezonian. You can run and be shot for desertion. Or we'll let the Maggots kill you. And if they fail we shall deal with you. The Maggots will take the blame."

  "I...I'll have you all court-martialed and shot-eek. Magh'!" he shrieked, as the varied white grub-shapes poured over the top of the trench.

  ***

  The lieutenant's flight lasted less than thirty yards before one of the Magh' caught up with him.

  "Help! Help me!" he yelled desperately.

  Gobbo shook his head as the venomous barbed tail stabbed through the man's uniform. "Help me, if you please, Lieutenant."

  3

  The seven of them were on their way back from the messhall in the moonlight when they came upon two very, very drunken NCOs. Under most circumstances this would have been a good reason to turn and quietly walk away. In fact, they all checked. It was the whimpering that was coming from a thing at the feet of the two corporals that made Fitz decide to walk forward. That, and the fact that SmallMac was already doing so.

  Coming closer, Fitz saw the bundle lying there was human. Or had been, before they'd started kicking it.

  "Whatsh are you lot doing here?" slurred the one man.

  "KP duties, Corporal," said SmallMac, kneeling down next to the victim.

  "Well bugger off to y'r tent. And leave that little dickhead alone."

  "We're taking him to sick-bay, Corporal," said the small man, his glasses glinting in the moonlight.

  "Like fuck you are!" The corporal swung a vicious kick at SmallMac's head.

  Fitz caught the man's foot and extended the swing. He gave the falling corporal a far better placed kick in the solar plexus. The corporal doubled over as he flew. And as his fellow drunk swung wildly at him, Fitz hit him neatly on the jaw.

  "Holy shit! Let's get out of here!" gasped one of the conscripts.

  "What the hell do you think you've done, Fitz?" demanded another, horrified.

  Fitz ignored them. He leaned down and grabbed both of the drunk NCOs by the throats. Neither were particularly large men. The little Vat they'd been beating was even smaller than SmallMac. "Is he OK?"

  SmallMac shook his head. "Hard to tell. He's not really conscious. Blood coming out of his ears by the feel of it. Let's get him to sick-bay."

  One of the drunks began to struggle. Fitz brought their heads together with a crack and tossed them aside. SmallMac was already staggering to his feet with his burden. They linked arms to form a chair. And ran. Three of the others ran too, heading for their tent with as much speed as possible. The other two came along to the sick-bay. One of them actually had the forethought to run ahead and pound on the door. There was always a medic on duty.

  When it opened... Fitzhugh realized that things could get a lot worse. Two medic NCOs, the camp doctor, and Major Ogata were all there-playing cards on one of the examination beds.

  "What is it?" asked the medic who had opened the door, plainly not pleased.

  "Emergency, Sir. We found this man. He's been beaten up, Sir. He's unconscious."

  "Bring him in. Get him onto the examination bed."

  Fitz and SmallMac complied.

  "Christ! I want an IV line up on this kid," snapped the doctor.

  The doctor and medics moved into action.

  That left the four of them... and Major Ogata, who had moved against the far wall to allow them passage. Ogata, with JAG flashes on his shoulders, had arrived in the camp three days before. Nobody knew quite what he was doing here, but he had been taking some bangstick drills. "Stand," he ordered coldly, as they attempted to melt back to the open door. "Just what happened here?" he asked. He pointed to one of the young vats in the group. "You speak."

  The youngster looked around, nervously. "We were on our way back from KP, Sir. We... we found that private in the alley between Q-stores and the chaplain's offices, Sir. We brought him here."

  "You had no part in beating him up?" All of them shook their heads.

  "We wouldn't have brought him in if we had, Sir," said SmallMac earnestly.

  The major looked at them with cold speculation. "Maybe. And maybe you realized that you or perhaps your companions had gone too far? You know who did this."

  "Sir, KP ends at 21h00," said Fitz, calmly. "Look at the time now, Sir. We haven't had time to administer that kind of beating."

  Ogata looked at his watch. Looked at the Doc and his two medics. Then, nodded.

  "Two men have been killed in this camp, and a number of others have ended up seriously injured. As yet no one has been prepared to testify. I have been sent here by the Attorney General to put a stop to it." With a ghost of a smile he said "The army doesn't want soldiers dying before they reach the front."

  The major's eyes narrowed. "If I have to drill this entire camp until half of you end up as clients for the lieutenant," he pointed to the doctor who was helping the medics to get the boy onto a stretcher, "I will find out who did this. I'll need all of your names and numbers. Then you can get yourselves back to your tents." He jerked a thumb at the victim, now being carried through to the military ambulance. "He doesn't need you any more."

  As far as Fitz could see it was a lose-lose situation, especially for the four of them. All the conscript-boots dropping dead on the parade-ground weren't going to affect the guilty parties in this case. On the other hand... If they grassed... the instructors would see that they suffered in interesting ways. By now, Fitz had a grunt conscript's faith in the fairness of the system: ten to one, the two corporals would get off while they carried the can.

  Just then fate, in the shape of two drunken corporals, intervened. They also obviously did not expect the sick-bay to be occupied by anything more than one easily intimidated medic. And they were less than observant as they barged in and turned on the four privates.

  "All right, you lot of little scabs! Where's Margolis? We haven't finished with him. Or you. Especially you," one of them snarled at Fitz.

  Standing against the wall behind them, Ogata cleared his throat. "I think I have solved that little mystery."

  The two corporals turned, and looked in horror at the pips and JAG flashes. As one they tried to bolt.

  "Halt!" yelled Ogata. They didn't.

  "Privates! Catch those two. Restrain them," snapped Ogata.

  It was not an opportunity that came the average boot's way very often. An order from heaven, as it were. By the time the two corporals had been caught and "restrained"—one by SmallMac with his powerful horse-breaker's legs applying a life-threatening scissors, and the other by being sat on—a number of scores from the last five and a half weeks had been settled. Then a squad of guards and the guard commander arrived at a run.

  Ogata looked grimly at the two prisoners hauled before him. Sniffed. "I'll want blood samples from these two when the Doc gets back. And I want sworn statements. Now. Before anyone gets either intimidated or clever."

  He turned to one of the guard detachment. "Get me Lieutenant Belsen. I'll use the doctor's room for the statements. I'll want these men one at a time. There will be no discussion amongst them." He turned to the Fitz and his companions. "I advise you strongly to stick to the bald
truth. If one of your statements does not agree... you will be subjected to further investigation and charged."

  The lieutenant arrived at a run. He was a young, rather sadistic and sarcastic man, a once-minor Shareholder who obviously enjoyed controlling life and death for a large number of conscripts. The camp commandant was a bumbling and mediocre career officer. Belsen's overeagerness appeared to give the old man dyspepsia. But the lieutenant stepped a wide and wary berth around Ogata.

  Fitz's turn came. He stuck to the truth. Under the circumstances it seemed like pretty good advice. The major, and the lieutenant who wrote it all down, seemed satisfied.

  "Very well," said the major. "Read through the document. If it is correct, put your number and signature at the bottom."

  Fitz did. He was then dismissed, and told to wait in the outer room. It looked like it was all over.

  Ogata and Belsen came out with one of the statements. "Take those two NCOs to the second room under guard," said Ogata. "The medical personnel will be here to take blood samples in a few minutes. Then you can take them to the cells." He looked down at the piece of paper he was carrying. "Fitzhugh, you've made a mistake with your serial number. This will have to be corrected, signed again and witnessed." He held out the piece of paper.

  Fitz looked at it. The number was a simple enough one: his own ID with an army prefix. "There is no mistake, Sir. That is my number."

  Lieutenant Belsen lifted Fitz's chin with his swagger stick. "You're a fool, private. The last four digits indicate Shareholder status. Making up a number was bound to trip you up."

  Ogata pursed his lips, shook his head and sighed. "You obviously wanted to derail the course of justice with something the Court-martial tribunal was bound to pick up. Slick, Fitzhugh. But not slick enough."

  Fitz felt the blood drain from his face. "Major. I am a Shareholder," he said angrily.

  In reply, Ogata tore his statement up. "Very funny, Private," he said grimly. He turned to the guard commander. "Put this one in the cells also. Not the same cell as the other two. I'm going to contact military police headquarters and have them moved there. No sense in keeping them here."

  Fitz found himself spending a cold night in a cell in the guardhouse. He'd been made to clean it and was then given breakfast, while the sounds of the first parade of the day went on outside. It was silent and monotonous in the cell. Fitz had never thought the day would arrive when he would have preferred to be on parade to any other possibility.

  4

  Dick Deadeye, the wall-eyed rat coward, edged his way into the tent where Sergeant Marcowitz was reporting to Captain Witt. "Gamma 425 section lost most of their humans when we pulled back, Sir. Forty-three casualties and seventeen shipped out the field hospital. Lieutenant Lowe was among the dead, Sir. Several minor injuries that will be back, but at the moment there are only four privates and two NCOs still fit for duty."

  The captain steepled his fingers. "I have asked for reinforcements, but we're stretched. South Western Sector command says the new intake are about to finish boot camp. We'll get some of those. In the meanwhile those troops will just have to be integrated with other companies." He sighed. "And the rats? What have we got left there?" His voice showed distaste.

  The sergeant consulted the clip-board. "Two casualties, Sir."

  The captain hauled himself to his feet. "The human troops get massacred-and those filthy little scavengers lose two out of five hundred! I'm sorry, Sergeant, but I smell a rat..."

  "'Tis only I, Dick Deadeye, Captain," squeaked that hero, peering out from behind a canvas chair. "We don't get to have a bath very often on the front."

  He scratched his scraggly nose with a stubby pawhand. "Except when it doth rain. And then methinks 'tis more like a shower."

  "What the hell are you doing here, rat? Sergeant, get it out of here. Or rather let me get the MPs. We need to make an example of a few of these-"

  "Er. Captain," the sergeant interrupted. "This is one of the rats that Captain Shweto, um, bribed to be informers. Dick Deadeye, isn't it?"

  "Shweto's dead," said Captain Witt, his tone indicating that he'd liked his predecessor as much as the sergeant liked this rat.

  Dick Deadeye nodded. "Aye. Shog him for a debt-dodger. He still owed me for the last lot."

  "Owes you? I suppose you've come to collect, and you expect us to believe you," said the sergeant, dangerously.

  "Poor Dick Deadeye. My name and my looks are against me. A merest trifle. A matter of a hogshead of grog."

  "They're habitual liars," said the sergeant. "And cowards too."

  Dick Deadeye did his best to look affronted. "In every doughty deed I always took the lead!"

  "You give yourself airs!" said the sergeant, disdainfully.

  "Nay. 'Tis the food," said Dick Deadeye. "But some more grog will fix that. I've come to give you warning, Captain."

  The captain leaned forward. "I don't want warnings. I want to know why most of my human troops died in the last assault and only two of the rats did."

  The rat twitched his nose and looked thoughtful. "Methinks the two were a bit slow? Or mayhap too busy tail-twisting to notice? It can happen, or so I'm told." The rat sounded regretful. "Now, I have decided. I don't just want grog this time. I believe 'tis tradition to demand your daughter's hand in marriage, but to be honest, I fear she may have inherited your homely face and bad complexion. And while your nose is a more attractive length than that short little stump that doth do most humans service, you lack a tail entirely, unless 'tis hidden in your trousers. So: you'll give me Ariel. And a gill of liquor per man whose life I've saved. Twice that for your own, even though I daresay 'tis not worth half as much," said the rat, head on one side and rubbing his paws thoughtfully, for all the world like a merchant at a market-stall.

  The captain and Sergeant gaped at the rat. "Wh-what do you mean..." stuttered the captain.

  The rat held out his paws. "'Tis clear enough. I know marriage is not something we rats have hitherto espoused to. But I have despaired of ever winning her affection. And from what I can gather this 'marriage' thing is just the ticket for an ugly fellow like me." He looked at the sergeant quizzically. "Woman are then 'bound to serve, love and obey', when married aren't they?" he asked. "It says so in The Taming of the Shrew."

  Sergeant Mary Marcowitz missed. But only because she moved fast enough to harden her slow-shield.

  "I meant, what do you mean about saving our lives?" snapped the captain.

  "Why, what I said, Sirrah," said the rat. "The others said that the maggots disposed so efficiently of you humans in the last assault, that they thought they would let this burrowing clean you out of here too. They're going to leave you to this lot."

  "You mean... there's a mine?"

  "Aye. Ariel said 'twas unsporting not to tell you. But at length 'twas decided you wouldn't listen anyway." The sergeant and the captain were already out, yelling for action stations.

  The sergeant headed for the rat quarters, where she found the rats about to depart.

  "Traitors!" she screamed.

  ***

  The outer door opened, and Fitz heard the unmistakable sound of someone snapping to attention. A recognizable chilly voice spoke. "At ease, Sergeant. I believe you have Private Fitzhugh here."

  "Yessir! The prisoner is in cell two, Sir."

  "I'll speak to the man alone, Sergeant. He's to be released. There was a misunderstanding," said the major.

  "Sir."

  The sergeant led Major Ogata through, clattered the keys and let the major into the cell. The sergeant walked off back to his desk. Ogata waited carefully until he'd gone. Fitz decided that two could play the waiting game.

  "I made a mistake," said the officer quietly. As usual, he allowed almost no trace of expression into his face or voice. "I should have recognized the name. You're free to go, and there will be no mention of this on your record." Now he allowed a glimmer of a smile to appear. "You won't be called as a witness in the assault case. Nor w
ill your affidavit be rewritten. Somebody else might recognize the name, and they might not be quite so slow."

  Fitz was not feeling too fast himself. "Uh. Thank you, Sir."

  The major nodded. "Special gazette item 17 of 11/3/29 still stands. But I wouldn't bet on the legislature not repealing it, and not making that retroactive, if they discovered you. Talbot Cartup is a powerful man. He controls the Police Special Branch handling Colony security, you know."

  Fitz hadn't-but then it wouldn't have made any difference anyway. "He's alive, Sir?"

  Ogata raised his eyebrows. "You're pretty cool, Fitzhugh. I think so. I'm afraid I haven't followed up on his well-being. However, it appears that Private Margolis will live. In fact I have just been to the military hospital where, as the local enforcers can't get to him and he thinks he's dying, he has confirmed your testimony."

  Now he smiled properly for the first time and stuck out his hand. "I've never met you, and it has been my pleasure not to do so. Good luck, Private Fitzhugh. I think one good deed fairly well cancels the other out."

  Fitz took his hand. "Nobody would believe me, but I didn't do it."

  The major looked steadily at him. "I was a prosecuting attorney before the war, Private. You're right. No one would believe you. Now get lost. Collect your boots and belt from the desk sergeant and get back to your squad. Good luck."

  Outside, blinking in the sunlight, Fitz wondered if it was going to be as simple as that. It was Sunday, officially a day off after the morning parade. Mostly it was spent polishing, ironing and preparing for the week ahead. He walked slowly back to his tent.

  "Fitzy!" SmallMac yelled. "Hey guys, he's back."

  Fitz was amazed to find himself being slapped on the back and grinned at.

  Marc Ewen had always found the two older men in his tent and his squad something of a trial. He was standing with his hands on his hips, surveying the scene, taking no part in the congratulations. If there was going to be trouble, Fitz realized, it would be with him. He was the only one in the tent who had persisted in calling Fitz "Oink."