Blade Dancer
Page 32
together into eternity. Sharing everything between us.
Yet as much as I wanted to say those words, and hear them from him, I knew in whatever part of me
that was still Terran that it could never be that simple. Kol was a warrior, an honorable man who
believed in what his people had taught him. Despite the way they’d treated him. In spite of everything I’d
told him.
And what was I, compared to that kind of nobility? Far less than he deserved. Maybe it would have
worked if I’d grown up the way he had, on my mother’s homeworld, instead of living like an animal on
Terra. No matter how Jorenian I felt in that moment, I could never be the woman he wanted.
And how would he introduce me to his kin? Hi, this is my bondmate, Jory. She gets her green eyes
from her father—you know, the guy who put my mother up for auction.
“Kol.”
He lifted his head, blinded by the same needs I was feeling, lost in the same haze. The only thing that kept
me sane was knowing how helpless he was before me, under my hands, completely riveted by this thing
between us.
He’d been the strong one in this, until now. And because I loved him, I would have to take it from here.
I kissed him one more time, because I couldn’t help myself. Then I pushed his hands away and got to my
feet. “We’re not doing this.” My voice shook. “You’ve got to help me out here, okay?”
He caught me from behind, his hands clamping around my waist. “What say you if we went on, as
Terrans do? As you have done with the others in your past?”
No, he wasn’t going to be very helpful, damn him. “You aren’t like the others. I could walk away from
them when it was over.”
He slid his hands around to splay them over my belly, and nuzzled the back of my neck. “Perhaps you
would not wish to leave me.”
He wasn’t going to leave me alone unless I did something dire. Like wake him up. “Maybe. Or maybe
we’d end up trapped together forever, like Qelta and Nla.”
Kol lifted his head, and took his hands away. “What say you?”
I turned. “You’ve got to know how unhappy they are together.” He didn’t blink. “Why do you think Nla
spends all his time out in the fields? It wasn’t all you, Kol. Why did he insist that the three of you never
live with HouseClan Varena?”
“The Varena adhere closely to HouseClan law and protocol—far more than any other House. Nla may
have been trying to protect us.”
“You mean hide you. The only thing I don’t know is who he hates more—you or your ClanMother.”
“They Chose. They share the bond.”
“Oh, yeah? Then how come they can’t stand to touch each other?”
His eyes became slits. “They do not indulge in public displays of affection.”
“They weren’t in public the day we left.” Hurting him back-lashed on me, and my claws emerged. I’d
never realized they could come out in pain as well as rage. “I don’t want to end up like them, Kol. Hating
each other, tied to each other, no escape, no relief.”
He got all formal and Jorenian on me. “As you wish, lady.” Then he left me standing there, staring at the
list of my father’s crimes.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
“Direction takes many forms.”
—Tarek Varena, ClanJoren
We were in bladework, running through the last hundred or so moves to complete our shahada
repertoire, when another trainer appeared and interrupted the class.
“Emergency signals have arrived for the following trainees.” He read off a list of everyone in our group
but me. “You will accompany me to the communications area.”
“What’s going on?” I asked Kol as he passed me. “Is Joren under attack?”
“I will find out.”
I was being deliberately separated from the clan for a reason. But what? “Let me know.”
Bek ordered the rest of us to get back to practice, but hardly an hour passed before third level was
summoned out to the central arena to assemble around the quad. Then something very weird
happened—someone bumped into me as I was making a final inside lateral block, which allowed my
sparring partner to give me a small nick on the back of my hand.
“Saj, you should go to the infirmary now,” the Chakaran told me, holding me back.
“It’s just a scratch.” Bek sounded worried, which got my attention. “What is it? What’s happened?”
He didn’t answer, and a moment later the Blade Master materialized beside us. “Sajora will enter the
quad.”
Bek glowered at Uel. “She cannot. She is injured.”
So that’s why he wants me to go to the infirmary—so I don’t fight. “I said I’m fine.” An eerie sense of
the inevitable crept over me. “Who else is in the quad, Blade Master?”
“An opponent eager to test her blades against yours.” Uel pointed to the door panel. “Go and see for
yourself.”
Inside the quad was Fayne, doing more of her razzle-dazzle, spinning her blades and moving through the
most complex of shahada patterns to impress the gathering crowd.
The beast inside me—the one I’d been suppressing for weeks—rolled over, sat up, and took notice.
Internal chains stretched and groaned.
The oohs and aahs stopped as soon as I mounted the platform, and basically everyone on third level
turned to stare at me.
While I stared at the broken body being dragged from the quad floor. The avatar’s face had been
mutilated, but I could tell it was her from the tunic and the broken wings.
“Come, Terran.” The little white rat came over to lean against the ryata, and tossed a couple of small
objects at me, which I caught out of reflex. “Let us dance.”
I looked down at the eyes, smeared against my palm like two broken bird eggs.
Galena’s eyes.
Everything inside me snapped, all at once, and my claws emerged from the ends of my fingers so fast and
hard they tore the skin. Other trainees moved out of my way as I pushed my hand inside my tunic and
pressed the ruins of my little sister’s eyes against my heart. A sound came out of me then, a howl of
despair and outrage.
For this, she dies, the beast inside me whispered. Slowly.
I ducked under the ryata, my blades ready, my gaze locked on Fayne’s sneering face. I could have called
her names, taunted her, but my throat had been seized up by the beast’s claws and I couldn’t utter a
word.
Blood. That was all I wanted now. To see her blood staining my blade.
A drone unit descended and I used a fist to knock it out of the arena. Fayne smirked as she countered
my moves, mirroring me as I took position. “You do not wish to make it official?”
The hilts of her blades slapped into her palms as she stopped spinning them. “I see you do not. Then let
us begin.”
I stood my ground, letting her attack, watching her limbs bunch and flex as she lunged across the quad.
Absently I thought of Terran cheetahs, and how they nearly dislocated their hips when they ran. A
second before she touched me, I whipped up my blades and slashed at her face and chest.
Everyone in the arena began to shout.
Something sliced across my abdomen, and the center joint of her arm smashed up under my chin. I
pivoted and followed through with a knee to her groin, but she rolled away before it had any effect. A
soft snowfall of white hair rained down on the
quad between us, a good-sized chunk I’d slashed off her
head.
She touched her skull with the back of one hand as she circled to my left. “You cut my hair, you clod.”
“Jory!” I heard someone shout over the clamoring voices around the quad.
“Here is your beloved one,” Fayne said, crooning. “He will need comfort later, I think. Perhaps I will
allow him back in my bed.” She thrust a blade low, trying to get under my guard, then reversed the move
and cut up and across my forearm. “Should I give him your eyes as a memento?”
“Concede, Saj,” Bek called from my corner. “Live to fight another day.”
I didn’t care how much blood I spilled on the quad floor. I watched her, countering her moves, letting the
beast take over completely. The part of me that was Jory receded to a small corner of my mind, and the
wet patch over my heart kept her there.
Birdie didn’t deserve to die. Not like this.
The noise around the arena swelled like an infected wound, but I focused on Fayne. It paid off when I
spotted a break in her pattern and attacked. I used a combination I hadn’t tried before, and the stress on
my knee made my leg lock for a moment. The blood under my footgear added to the problem, but I
found my center and attacked.
As I moved in to bury my blade in her chest, she spit in my eyes. My vision clouded, and my eyes felt
like they were on fire.
The involuntary jerk of my head sealed it, and I slipped backward and fell.
No, God! I flailed my arms, trying to stay upright. The shouts around me became jeers.
Fayne jumped on top of me and plunged her blade into my chest. As the holographite dematerialized, it
produced a jolt of such intensity that my entire body went rigid.
“Now”—she pulled the tån back to let it solidify again—“you die for me.”
I blocked her arm as the blade came down again, but the tip penetrated my tunic and skin enough to
score a second hit. The subsequent jolt allowed her to pin my arms down with one hand, and raise the
blade again.
I knew I was going to die then, and turned my failing eyes to see the outline of someone big and blue
trying to climb into the quad.
“Kol, no!” I heard Sparky shout. “Osrea, Nalek, quickly!”
Something swooped down and knocked Fayne off me, sending her sprawling back onto the quad. I
struggled up to my knees, groping for a handhold.
“What are you doing?” I heard Galena demand.
“Make her concede,” Nalek’s voice said, and four hard hands jerked me to my feet.
Birdie. I squinted at her, still not sure if I could believe my blurry eyes. If she was alive, then—
“Fucking bitch!” I shrieked, fighting Osrea’s grip on me, trying to get an arm free so I could slash Fayne’s
laughing eyes out of her skull.
“You still have a hit left.” The Skogaq tilted her head to one side, and licked my blood off her blade with
her little white tongue. “Come and dance with me one more time.”
Trainers and hoverdrones were suddenly everywhere, and I saw the Blade Master standing behind
Fayne, at her corner. And Nalek hauling a limp, blue body out of the quad.
Kol?
“Her saliva blinds,” Os said, and locked one arm around my neck. “Say ‘I concede’ or I will knock you
unconscious,” he added in a mutter.
The arena fell silent. So silent I could hear the rasp of my own breath.
He wasn’t dragging me out of the quad. But my eyes were burning out of my head, and I couldn’t see
anything of Fayne but a vague blur. One more hit, and I’d be dead.
I lifted a hand and wiped the blood from my mouth. “I concede.”
Os tossed me over his shoulder and hurried out of the quad.
I spent a day in medical, getting my eyes treated for corneal burns and cursing myself for a fool.
“If I see you in here again this month, I’m suspending you from training,” the horn-headed doctor told me
as he shone a light in each eye and put in more drops. “Wait, don’t blink. There’s no permanent
damage—lucky for you, your clan got you here in time—but you’ll need to wear shades for a few days.
And stay away from Skogaqs. Now you can blink.”
“Where is my clan?” I asked as the solution trickled down my cheeks.
“Blade Master sent for them. Some kind of hearing. By the way”—he picked up a specimen dish—“I
found Exzer eye material smeared on your breast. What’s that about?”
“Long story.” I got dressed, put on my shades, and headed for third level.
Dursano stopped me before I entered. “You are relieved from training for the remainder of the day.”
He wasn’t going to get rid of me that easily. “What’s going on with the clan?”
“The Blade Master must decide what to do with them, and Fayne.” The inductor held up his arm. “You
are not invited.”
“That’s the story of my life, Inductor.”
No matter what I said, Dursano refused to let me enter the level, so I stalked back to our quarters, which
were empty. I paced until I got on my own nerves, then snapped my head up as Ren came through the
door.
“Well?” I went to him. “Where is everyone else?”
“At the ruling, with Kol, Nalek, and Osrea.” He studied my face. “Your eyes, are they damaged?”
“They’re fine, no thanks to that little white runt.” I tapped my shades. “I just have to wear these for a
while. What about the boys?”
“They violated Tåna rule by entering the quad during the bout. Fayne did the same by spitting in your
eyes.” He made an eloquent gesture. “I am inclined to think that Uel will overlook both violations.”
“Why did you leave?”
“We were concerned about you, and I volunteered to check on your status.” He smiled a little. “Do you
find that amusing?”
“No. I think it’s… nice.” I threw up my hands. “Christ, Ren, this was my fight. What the hell happened?”
“Kol saw Fayne attacking you, and lost control. We were only trying to stop him.” He took off my
shades and inspected my eyes. “The Skogaq played a cruel game with you today. The next time she
could make the game real.”
And kill Galena to draw me to the quad. “I know.”
“Kol has been in a near-permanent state of rage since the fight. The healer gave him a tranquilizer, but it
has had no effect. He cannot think clearly.” His cheek glittered. “It has been difficult for both of you.”
“So what do I do now, Ren?”
“All the years I spent in isolation, I wondered what it would be like to be a part of some greater thing
than myself. You and the others have given that to me.”
I frowned. “You’re not going to cry on me, are you?”
“Another bodily function my sire’s species prevents me from enjoying. Jory.” He came and carefully took
one of my hands between his. The cold angles of his crystal derma made it feel like I’d plunged my fingers
into a basin of broken plas. “I honor the kinship we share, yet if I knew I presented a threat to you and
the others, I would return to my isolation at once. Do you understand?”
Sure I did. “What about Kol? Will he calm down?”
“Distance may help. I am not sure—but if you continue to train in such close proximity to each other…”
He made an eloquent gesture.
If Birdie died because Fayne had it out for me, or Kol, defending a love we couldn’t let happen, I’d ne
ver
forgive myself. “There’s no other way, is there?”
“You have always taken the most demanding path.” He released my hand. “That is your gift, you know.
Of all of us, you are the most self-sufficient, the most determined. You have never hidden behind a lie, or
used one as sanctuary.”
How little he knew me. “There’s more to this problem than Fayne.” The door panel opened behind us as
I added, “Somehow, she got Uel to set me up.”
The door panel closed. “It was quite the reverse, Sajora. I had you set up Fayne.” The Blade Master
entered and nodded to Ren. “Excuse us for a moment.”
Ren glanced at me, and I waved him out. I could see clearly now, but the dimsilk Uel wore didn’t seem
to shimmer as much. Maybe it was looking through the special shades the doc had given me. In any case,