Perfect Worlds Omnibus

by Eric Filler

  Shehadgottenolder,probablytoherlatethirtiesifnotforty.“Ohno,”she mumbled,hervoicedeeper.Itwouldbeevenmoredifficultforhertogo unnoticedasamiddle-agedwoman.Onelookatthewrinklesonherfaceand someonewouldcalltheBeautificationSociety.

  Shehadtohidethewrinkles.Theproblemwasshedidn’thaveany cosmeticsormoneytobuyanything.Therehadtobesomewaytoacquireone ortheother.Maybeshecouldshopliftsomething.

  Assheponderedthis,sheleftthebathroom.Sheploddedaroundthepark, huggingherselftostaywarmasshethought.Thenthesolutionappearedrightin frontofher.Awoman’spursesatontheedgeofabenchwhilethewoman lookedtheotherwaytowatchhertwosmallchildrenplay.

  Jeritookacoupleofdeepbreathsandthenwalkedbythebenchascasually aspossible.Withoutlooking,sheslippedthebagoffthebench,ontoher shoulder.Shequickenedherpacebutdidn’tstarttorun;thatwouldgiveher awayforsure.

  Shegotallthewaybacktothebathroom.Thereshewentthroughthebag.

  Thewoman’swalletidentifiedherasaJeniNomur;herhairwaslighterandabit

  longer,butotherwiseshecouldpassasayoungerversionofJeriwithoutthe glasses.Jeni’swalletheldenoughmoneytolastJeriafewdaysifshespentit carefully.

  Atthebottomshefoundthewoman’scosmetics.Jeriemptiedtheseout intothesinkandthensettowork.Shefuriouslyappliedfoundationandrougeto hideherwrinklesandfreckles.Theeffectwasabitclownishupclose,butfrom adistanceshewouldseemlikeafairlyprettyyoungwoman,solongasshetook offtheglasses.ItwastoobadJenididn’thaveanycontactlensesinthebag.

  Jeritookthecosmeticsandmoneybutlefttherestinthebathroom.Then shehurriedoutofthebathroomandoutofthepark.Itwasdifficulttosee withoutherglasses;shewouldhavetohopeforthebest.Asshewalked,Jeri thoughtofhermother.Shetriedtosummonthesameauthorityanddignityas Mother,keepingherbackramrodstraightandheadup.Shequickenedherpace slightlytomakeitseemasifshewereintoomuchofahurrytotalktoanyone.

  Thisledhertobumpintoanumberofpeople,butsherefusedtoapologizeto anyone;shewasfartooimportanttoworryaboutthem.

  Hernosedetectedthescentofpastries.Jeriputonherglassesfora momenttomakesureshewasinfrontofacafé.Sheslippedtheglassesback intoherpocketandthenwentinside.Shesatatacornertable,whereitwouldbe darkenoughfortheshadowstomaskherheavymakeupjob.

  Awaitressbroughtamenuby;Jeripretendedtoscanitbeforesheordereda cupofteaandahalf-dozenpastries.Herstomachrumbledasmuchaswhen she’dbeenMolegirl2atthethoughtoffoodthatdidn’tcomefromagarbage can.Shehadtoforceherselfnottogulpdownthepastries,toeatinadignified fashionthatbefittedawomanherageandpresumedsocialstatus.

  Asshenibbledthepastriesandsippedhertea,thecafébegantofill.Apair ofwomensatatthetablenexttoher.“Ihearshe’shideous,”onewomansaid.

  “Theysayshe’sgottheseterribleredspotsalloverherfaceandeyebrowsthat havegrowntogether.”

  “I’veheardshewalksonallfourslikeananimal—andsmellslikeonetoo.”

  ThewomenlaughedwhileJerididherbestnottoshowanyreaction.She knewtheymustbediscussingher,theuglyfugitive.Shewantedtocryatthis, butshecouldn’t.

  Thisbecamemuchmoredifficultwhensheheardonewomansay,“It’sno wonderhermotherkilledherself.”

  “Idon’tknowhowshestoodraisingsuchabeastalltheseyears.”

  Jerileftsomemoneyonthetableandthenrushedoutoftheroom.Mother wasdead?No,thatcouldn’tbe.Motherhadalwaysbeensostrong,sotough; shewouldn’tkillherselfoversomethinglikethis,wouldshe?Jerithoughtofher

  lastconversationwithhermother.Sherememberedhowhumiliatedhermother hadfeltafterthecotillionandJeri’ssubsequentdisappearancefromthehospital.

  ItmadeperfectsenseforMothertokillherselfaftersuchascandal.

  Withthelastofhermoney,JeritookataxitoMother’shouse.Shepunched inthecodeatthefrontgatetoopenit.Thepolicehadapparentlyfinishedtheir investigationalreadyastherewasnoonearound.

  Jerisearchedtheentirehousebutfoundnoone.Mother’sbedwasneatly made,themattresscold.Jerirestedherheadagainstthemattressandfinallylet thetearsflow.“Oh,Mama.Howcouldyou?”

  Nowshedidn’thaveanyone.Shewascompletelyaloneandbeinghunted bytheentireplanet.Whatcouldshedo?Wherecouldshego?Shecouldn’t stayinthishouseanymore—orcouldshe?WithMotherdead,thepolice probablywouldn’texpecthertodoublebackhere.SolongasJeristayedaway fromthewindowsandkeptthelightsoff,sheoughttobesafehere.

  ShethoughtaboutcurlingupinMother’sbed,butthendecidedtoslipback toherownroom.Itlookedunchangedfrombeforethecotillion.Jerisawthe clothesMotherhadboughtforherstillhanginginthecloset.Shetriedona dress,butitwastoosmallonher.Shesighedandthencurleduponherbedto getsomerest.

  ***

  JeriassumedshewasdreamingwhensheheardMothersay,“Whatareyou doinginmydaughter’sbed?”Shegruntedsomethinginreplybutdidn’twake.

  Whenshefeltsomeoneshakehershoulder,Jeriknewitcouldn’tbea dream.Sheopenedhereyestoseeavaguely-humanblurnexttothebed.She triedtoreachoutforherglasses,butherentirebodyfeltasifitweremadeof wetsand.

  Thisfeelingwasfamiliartoher;sherememberedwhenValhadmadeher intoachubbyensign,theeffortithadtakenjusttositup.Jeriputahandtoher stomachandagainfeltasagginggut.Herotherhandmanagedtofindthe glasses,whichseemedthickerthansheremembered.

  Oncehervisioncameintofocus,shegasped.Motherstoodbesidethebed, armsfoldedoverherchestandhermouthsetinastraightlinetoindicateshe wasfurious.“Whywereyoupassedoutinmydaughter’sbed?”

  “Mama,it’sme.It’sJeri.”

  “Nonsense.Mydaughterwasneverpretty,butshecertainlywasn’ta middle-agedwhale.”

  Middle-aged?Jeriforcedherselftoslidethecoversback.Shesawshewas dressedinashapelessburntorangedresswitharattydarkbrownsweater.She slidherselfoffthebedandgottoherfeet.Motherstoodasidetoletherstagger

  tothemirror.

  Thefaceshesawwasverydifferentfromtheonesherememberedfromthe lastweek.Hercheeksbulgedandherjowlssaggedwithfat.Herhairhadturned darkbrown,butwasstreakedwithgrayandcutinatomboyishbob.Thelinesat theedgesofhereyesandmouthandcrinklingherforeheadhadalldeepened.

  Herflabbybreastssaggedwithinthedress.Shehadtobeinherlateforties,if notfiftynow.ThatwaspracticallyacroneforShada.

  “Ifyoudon’tleavemyhouseimmediately,ma’am,Iwillhavetocallthe policetoremoveyou.”

  “Mama,please,thisisallaterriblemistake.I’mnotreallyanoldlady.

  Youhavetobelieveme.”

  “WhyshouldIbelievesuchalunatic’stale?Tellmewhatyou’vedoneto mydaughterandI’llallowyoutoleaveherewithoutincident.”

  “Ididn’tdoanythingtoher!I amher.”

  “Look—”

  Jeriseizedhermotherbytheshoulders.“I’mstillyourdaughter.Lookinto myeyes.Youhavetoseeitthere.You’remymother.”

  “Iseenothingbutasleazymadwomanillegallyoccupyingmyhouse.”

  “I’mnotamadwoman!”Shepushedhermotherdownontothebed;it wasn’thardwithherconsiderableweightadvantageoverMotheratthemoment.

  “Youneverbelieveme!Youdon’tcareaboutmeatall!Itdoesn’tmatterif we’reonPheraoronShada;youneverreallyloveme.Allyoueverdoismake mefeelworthless.”

  Motherbackedaway,untilsh
ewaspressedintoacorner.Sheputherhands updefensively.“Whatareyougoingtodotome?”

  “I’mnotgoingtodoanythingtoyou.Ijustwanttostayhere,withyou.

  Please?”

  “Verywell—”Motherstoppedassomeoneknockedonthefrontdoor.

  FasterthanJerithoughtpossible,Motherjumpedtoherfeetandspedtowards thebedroomdoorway.“Helpme!I’mbeingmurdered!”

  JerifollowedafterMother,butnowtheweightdifferencewasa disadvantage.Motherwasalreadyonthestaircasedowntothefronthall.Jeri couldseeawoman’ssilhouettetoonesideofthedoor.Sherecognizedthevoice oftheBeautificationSocietyofficersaying,“Mrs.Poldar?Areyouinthere?”

  “I’mhere!There’samadwomaninthehouse!”Mothershrieked.

  “Mother,no!”Jerishouted.Shelumbereddownthestairs.Motherlooked back,herfaceamaskofterror.

  Thenshestumbled.Herfeetgaveoutbeneathher,tosendhertumbling downthestonestepsJerihadfallendownatthecotillion.ExceptwhenMother

  reachedthebottom,herbodywascompletelystill.

  JerireachedthebottomofthestairsthesametimetheSocietykickedopen thefrontdoor.ShehuggedMother’slimpformtoherchestandsobbed.As muchasshe’doftenhatedhermother,she’dneverwantedtoseeherdead.In somenaïvewayshe’dalwayshopedintimetheycouldrepairtheirdifferences, thatshecouldfindawaytomakeMotherproudofher.

  SherefusedtoletgoofMotherastheSocietyofficerstriedtogethertoher feet.“No,I’mnotleavingher!”sheroared.Sheflungherselfattheblond officer,butherflabbybodywastooslow.Theofficersteppedasideandthen pulledoutherstunbaton.Jerifeltthefamiliartingleinherchestfromtheshock beforeshepassedout.

  ***

  ThistimesheheardnotMother’svoicebutherown.“Youcertainlygave usamerrychase,MissPoldar.Butuglinesscanneverescapeournotice.”

  Jeriopenedhereyestoseeherselfinfrontofher,oratleasthowshehad beenwhenshewasthequeenofShadainherprettypinkdressandthegolden crownonherhead.Thisyounger,beautifulJerigrinnedatherwithperfectwhite teeth.“Itwascleverofyoutodouble-backtoyourhome,butultimatelyitwas foolish.”

  “Mama,whatabouther?Isshe—?”

  “Dead?Yes,verymuchso.”Thequeenmotionedtotheblondofficer who’dshockedJeritwicenow.TheSocietyofficerrattledoffthecharges againstJeri,theforemostbeingmatricide.Thequeenshookherheadasthelist wasread.“Uglinessontheoutsidealwaysbringsouttheuglinessinside.”

  “I’mnotsupposedtobeugly.Thisisallabigmistake.I’myou.I’mthe queen—”

  TheSocietyofficerpunchedJeriinherbulgingstomach.“Saythatagain andI’llcutyourthroat,”theofficergrowled.

  Jeriheldouthermanacledhandstothequeenplaintively.“Please,change meback.Makemeprettyagain.BringMamabacktolife.Please!”

  “I’mafraidIcan’tdothat.”

  “Thenjustkillme.Idon’twanttogoonthisway.”

  “Killingyouwouldbefartoomerciful.Someonelikeyouisbetter punishedhavingtolivewithhercrimesforalong,longtime.”

  “No—”

  Therewasaflashoflightfromthestonearoundthequeen’sneck.Jeri watchedherbodygetevenlargerthanitwasbefore,untilsheweighedmorethan shehadasMolegirl2.Theburntorangedressturnedblackwithawhitecollar whiletherattysweatershiftedpositionandlightenedtobecomeawhiteapron.

  Amaid’soutfit.Jerirecognizeditfromwhenshehadbeenthequeenof Shadawithanarmyofservantstolookafterher.Themanaclesdisappearedto allowhertostandup.Itoccurredtohershecouldrushatthequeennowor perhapstheSocietyofficer.Thentheymightkillhertoputheroutofher misery.

  No,theywouldn’t.Theywoulddisableherandthenthequeenwould probablymakeherevenfatter.Evenifshetriedlateronherown,thestone couldkeepheralive.Itcouldkeepheralivelikethisforeverifitwantedto.

  AfatoldwomandressedinanoutfitlikeJeri’sappearedbesidethequeen.

  TheoldwomanseizedJeriroughlybythearm.“Comealong,girl,wehave worktodo.”

  “Don’tleavemelikethis!”Jerishoutedatthequeenasshewasledaway.

  “Please,don’tleavemethisway!”

  TheoldwomanshovedJerithroughadoorway.Theoldwomanpushedher alonguntiltheyreachedahallcloset.Whiletheoldwomanunlockedthecloset, Jeristaredatherselfinamirror.

  Shewasyoungernow,probablyseventeenoreighteen,herchubbyfacefree ofwrinkles.Herhairwasstillshortanddarkbrown,onlynowitwastousled andgreasy.Whenshetriedtosmile,shesawteeththatwerecrookedand yellow.Thiswashowshewouldbefortherestofherlife,adisgustinggirlno manorwomanwouldwanttobewith.

  Shedidn’thavemuchmoretimetoconsiderherfateastheoldwoman shovedafeatherdusterintoherhands.“Youmakesuretodustallthisbottom levelgoodandproper.Thenwe’llgetstartedonthelinen.Ihopeyougota goodstrongbackbeneathallthatflab.”

  Jeritooktheduster.Shebegantowaveitagainstthewallgently.It occurredtoherthatoncetheoldwomanturnedherback,Jericouldmakearun forit.Towhere?Evenifshemanagedsomehowtogetoutside,wherewould shego?MotherwasdeadandtheSocietywouldkeepacloseeyeonthehouse now.AndJeriwassofatanduglynowshecouldn’thopetodisguiseherself.

  Withsilenttearsinhereyes,shecontinuedtodustwhathadbeenher beautifulqueendom.

  Chapter19

  Valcursedherstupidityforthehundredthtime.Shehadmadeatactical blunderbyrunningawayfromKariandtheothers.Atthetimeithadseemed likeagoodideatoseizetheinitiativeandtakebacktheStoneofChange.Now sherealizeditwasfoolish.

  Shedidn’thaveanyideawhereshewasgoing.ShehadhopedtheStoneof Changemightshowherwhereitsotherhalfwas,butitremainedsilent.Andtry asshemight,sheremainedstuckasapunygeekwhotiredclimbingoneflightof stairs.

  Shehatedthisbody.Taihadmadeherlooklikethisshortlyaftersheand KarihadreturnedtoPhera.Hermindstillburnedwiththememoryofwhen she’dtriedtotakethestonefromhimonlyforherwell-aimedkicktohithim likeapillow.

  Thesecondtimeshehadbeenthiswayhadbeenbetter.ThensheandJeri hadbeenhotandheavy.Theyhadneveractuallymadelove,buttheneckingand heavypettingwasmorethanadequateforher.She’dalwaysbeenpatientandin timeshe’dknownTaiwouldgiveherachancetotaketheStoneofChange.

  Thenshe’dgottencarelessandletJeristealitfromherwhentheycame throughthegateway.Shewascompoundingthatnowbycarelesslyrunning awaywhensheshouldhavestayed.Sheshouldhaveremainedpatientandlet KariorSanaleadhertothestone.Valkneweverythingtherewastoknowabout planningamilitaryengagement,butsearchingforancientartifactswasbeyond herknowledgebase.

  ShesighedandthenclutchedtheStoneofChangetighterinherhand.She willedittochangeherbacktothewomanshehadbeen:strongandcapable.

  Stillnothinghappened.Shewipedsweatfromherbrowandthencontinuedher search.

  Toherleftshesawabuildingwithastatueoutfrontofamancladinarmor withaswordpointedtowardstheroofofthecavern.Amilitaryheadquarters?

  Anarmory?Perhapsthat’swherethey’dkeptthestone.Thatseemedasgoodof placeasany.

  Sheranupthestairs,stoppinghalfwaytocatchherbreath.Thesoonershe foundtheotherhalfofthestone,thesoonershecouldmakeherselfintoa womanagain.Withthisinmind,sheforcedherselftorunuptherestofthe stairs.

  Shedartedthroughthedoorway—

  Shetumbledforwardintoapuddleofmud.Shelaythereforamoment,not

  understanding.Av
oicebarkedinherear,“Getup,Kree!Thisisnotimefora facial!”

  SherecognizedthevoiceofSergeantTanorfrombasictraining.When she’dfirststarted,ValhadhatedTanorwithapassion.Itwasonlybytheend, whenshesawthekindofsoldiershe’dbecome,thatsherealizedwhatthe sergeanthaddoneforher.Aftergraduation,TanorhadevenshakenVal’shand andsaid,“Ineverthoughtaruntlikeyouwouldmakeit,buthereyouare.You gotmoregutsthananywomanwho’severcomethroughhere.”

  “Moveit,Kree!”Tanorshouted.

  Valpushedherselfup,herarmstremblingasshedidso.Whenshegotto herfeet,sherealizedsomethingwaswrong—shewasstillageekyteenager!She worecamouflagefatiguesliketheotherrecruits,buthershungoffherbodyasif shewereascarecrow.Shepulledoffwhitecat’seye-shapedglassestowipethe mudoffofthem.

  “Comeon,runt,getmoving!”

  “Yes,ma’am,”Valstammered.ThesergeantslammedapackintoVal’s midsection,knockingherbacktotheground.Valshruggedintothepackand thengotunsteadilybacktoherfeet.Beforethesergeantcouldyellatheragain, shetookoffrunningtocatchtherestofthetrainees.

  Asshehuffedandpuffedalong,shetriedtothinkofwhathadhappened.

  Shehadrunintothearmoryorwhateverithadbeenandthenendeduphere.

  Shemusthavefallenandknockedherselfout.Thismustbeanightmare.

  Theothertraineesstartedtofadefromview.Valpumpedherlegsfaster, butshecouldn’tcatchuptothem.Shecollapsedintothemudagain,herbreath comingoutinwheezes.Asshesquattedinthemud,Tanorshouted,“You’rethe sorriestexcuseforasoldierI’veeverseen.”

  Valcouldn’tdisagreewithheratthispoint.Asshegottoherfeet,hair droopedintohereyes.Shebrusheditback,butitsoondroopedintohereyes again.Sheranahandthroughitandfoundithadgrownoutofitsneathelmet intoashaggiercut.Shefoundhercaponthegroundandtuckedthelongerhair underneathit.Withasighsheploddedalongafterwheretheothershadgone.