He placed his finger on her chin and turned her face toward him. “It does matter. We’re going to be spending a lot of time together and the boys don’t need to feel any tension between us.”
She should have known his words were for the boys’ sakes. But she admitted she’d hoped Dillon was reacting and speaking out of feelings he had for her. “You’re right. They don’t need to feel any friction. Are you going to be able to keep a lid on the anger you feel toward me?”
He smiled, a deep smile, the first real one he’d given her. “When I see Glenn, I can’t be angry. I love him, Monique, and like I said, you didn’t have to tell me about him. I’m honestly grateful for that. So I’ll try to concentrate on my gratitude for your finally telling me the truth, rather than my anger at your lying to me ten years ago. There’s nothing either of us can do to change the past anyway.”
They were silent after Dillon’s statement and Monique felt a closeness to him that frightened her. He was being so sweet and he was so close. If he wanted to kiss her, he’d only have to move his head a few inches.
She dropped her gaze and broke the spell. What on earth had she been thinking anyway? Dillon had just finished telling her that his only concern was for the boys. And here she was going all goo-goo over him. She just hoped he hadn’t seen the longing that she was sure was in her eyes.
He moved away from her and stood. “I guess I’ll head for bed. Night, Monique.”
She met his gaze again and thought for a brief second that she saw longing in his eyes, too. Her imagination must be working overtime. “Night, Dillon.”
As Dillon prepared to go downstairs for breakfast the next morning, he tried to get his thoughts off of what had happened between him and Monique last night. Yes, something had happened. Though neither of them had said anything, something had happened between them. Had she been any other woman and had history been different, he would have kissed her last night. Hell, he would have kissed her in spite of their history if she’d shown him the slightest encouragement.
But she hadn’t. And that was probably a good thing. He and Monique didn’t need to start something that they could never finish. It was best that they keep their focus on the boys.
When he got downstairs, Sue and Glenn were already in the kitchen. “Morning,” Dillon said, wondering where Monique was. She didn’t strike him as the type to sleep late. He wondered if their incident last night had her avoiding him. The notion did not sit well with him.
“Hi, Dillon,” Glenn said. “Are we still gonna practice batting today?”
Dillon shot his son a bright smile, though his heart ached with the youngster’s insecurity. “Of course, slugger, I told you we would.”
“Morning, Dillon,” Sue said. “What can I get you for breakfast?” She rattled off a long list of dishes.
“What are you trying to do?” he asked. “Fatten me up?”
Sue laughed. “Hardly. But if you’re going to keep up with Glenn, you’re going to need your strength. Isn’t that right, Glenn?”
“Get the waffles,” Glenn said. “Aunt Sue makes the best waffles in the world.”
Dillon smiled. “Okay, I’ll go with Glenn’s recommendation, but only on one condition.” He pointed a finger at Sue. “You have to let me take us all out to dinner tonight. I don’t like the idea of you cooking for me every day.”
“But—”
“No buts,” Dillon said, extending his hand to confirm the deal. “Do we have a deal or not?”
She smiled and shook his hand. “We have a deal.”
“What kind of deal?” Monique asked, entering the kitchen through the back door.
“I just offered to take you all to dinner tonight and Sue agreed,” Dillon answered, his eyes taking in the picture she made in her multicolored culottes and tank top. She looked young and without a care in the world. He liked the look.
“Actually he twisted my arm,” Sue clarified, setting a plate of waffles in front of Dillon.
“They’re ganging up on me, Glenn,” he said, leaning toward his son. “Aren’t you going to help me?”
Glenn looked from his aunt to his mother. “They’re bigger,” he quipped.
Dillon, Sue and Monique laughed, and Dillon realized how much he loved Monique’s laughter and the relaxed expression it put on her face. His stomach muscles tightened.
“I think I need Calvin here to help me.”
Silence ruled the room.
“Who’s Calvin?” Glenn asked innocently.
He’s your brother, Dillon wanted to say. “He’s my four-year-old son.”
Glenn slipped a piece of waffle in his mouth. “Does he live with you?”
“Sure does. We live in a house with a big yard and a big wide porch.”
Glenn seemed to think about that for a minute or two. “Does Calvin play baseball?” he asked.
Dillon sighed. “He plays, but he’s not as good as you are. He’s just a little guy and he needs a lot of practice.”
Glenn took a sip from his juice glass. “Well, maybe I could help him since I can play real good.”
“Really well, Glenn,” Monique corrected.
Glenn rolled his eyes. “I can play really well. I could teach him how to run and how to catch and how to throw. And you—” he looked at Dillon “—can help us with our hitting.”
Dillon caught Monique’s glance and would have bet that there were tears in her eyes. He was kinda choked up himself. “I think that’s a great idea, Glenn, and I know Calvin will think so, too. What if we all go to the Braves game next weekend?”
“Oh, boy, a Braves game.” Glenn looked at Monique. “Can I go, Mom, can I?”
“Sure, you can go. Maybe I want to go, too.”
Glenn shook his head. “No, you’re a girl. This is just for guys, right, Dillon?”
Dillon fought back a grin. “Well, I don’t know. If your mother and aunt really want to go…”
“They don’t. They can go shopping or something.”
“Glenn!”
“Aw, Mom, you know you and Aunt Sue like to go shopping. Men like to go to ball games.”
Monique looked at Sue. “Do you get the feeling we’re not wanted?”
Sue smiled. “Sorta, but I really don’t mind. I kinda like shopping.”
Dillon laughed at the betrayed expression that crossed Monique’s face at Sue’s comment. He was looking forward to next weekend already.
Monique walked into the den just as Dillon was hanging up from his daily call to Calvin. While she wanted to talk with him about his day with Glenn, she was concerned about the closeness they’d shared last night. She wouldn’t admit to herself whether she was concerned that they would share the same closeness and more tonight or that they wouldn’t.
“How is he?” Monique asked. She knew about the calls, and wished she could speak to the little boy. A part of her was disappointed because Calvin hadn’t asked to speak with her.
“He’s fine. He asked about you.”
She smiled. At least he’d asked about her. “That’s good. I miss him, you know.”
He smiled too. “You hardly know him, Monique. How can you miss him?”
“You missed Glenn before you even met him,” she accused.
“That’s different. Glenn’s my flesh and blood. We’re connected.”
She shrugged, then sat down on the couch and hugged a pillow to herself. “I know I haven’t known Calvin long, but I still miss him. He’s such a sweet little boy.” She felt connected to Calvin because of the similarities in their lives, but she wasn’t ready to discuss those similarities with Dillon yet. “Did you tell him about the ball game next weekend?”
He nodded. “And he’s as excited as Glenn was. You don’t mind about the game, do you? I know I didn’t check with you first.”
She put the pillow aside. “Of course I don’t mind, Dillon. It’s a wonderful idea and I’m glad you thought of it.”
“Even though you aren’t invited to the game?” He smiled.
“I’m a little hurt that my own son is a chauvinist, but I’ll let it slide this time.”
Dillon laughed, then got up from his seat at the desk and walked over to sit next to her on the couch. His manly scent filled her senses. “We had a good time today,” he said. “I think Glenn likes me.”
“I know he does,” Monique said, wishing there was some way for her to move away from Dillon without bringing attention to herself. With him this close to her, she couldn’t stop thinking about their almost-kiss last night. “You’re so good for him, Dillon.” But you’re nothing but trouble for me.
“Don’t get overly confident, Monique. We still have a long way to go.”
“Oh, I know.” She moved the pillow between her and Dillon. She tried to be casual in her motions, but the smile that played at Dillon’s lips made her wonder. “It’s just that now I feel we’re going to make it. Before, I wasn’t so sure.”
“What changed your mind?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. You. Glenn. Us.”
“Us?”
Had he moved closer? It was as if she could feel his breath on her neck. “Yes, us. We’re getting along and the boys need that.”
“All of this is for the boys, right?”
“That’s right,” she said.
Dillon had known he was in trouble as soon as he moved from the desk and sat next to her on the couch. He’d known and he hadn’t cared. He was just curious. Curiosity couldn’t hurt, could it? He pushed away all thoughts of cats.
“Haven’t you wondered, though?”
“Wondered what?” she asked, not meeting his eyes.
“Wondered if it would be the same?”
“What? No.”
He moved closer. “I can’t stop thinking about last night,” he whispered. “I’ve tried, but I can’t stop thinking about how it would feel to kiss you again.”
She licked her lips. Dillon wondered if she even realized she was doing so. “Kiss me?”
He rubbed his finger down her cheek. “One kiss,” he said. “What would one kiss hurt?” He looked into her eyes and saw the banked passion…and the welcome.
She leaned slightly closer to him. “I’m not sure.”
“Why don’t we try it and see?”
Before she could answer, he brushed her lips with his own. He’d always thought she had the softest, sweetest lips and she still did. He couldn’t help himself. He increased the pressure on her lips, teasing and tasting.
She moaned deep in her throat and parted her lips slightly. That was all it took. He immediately dipped his tongue in and tasted the inside of her mouth, sampling to see if and how she’d changed. He pulled her into the circle of his arms.
Monique knew one or both of them would regret the kiss as soon as it was over, but she didn’t let that stop her from enjoying the moment. She’d wanted to be in Dillon’s arms since she’d first seen him that day at the school. It was only now that she let herself admit how she’d longed for him ever since the day she’d walked out of his life.
She’d left him, but she’d left her heart with him. She’d always belonged only to him. And though she knew there was no future for them, not really, she accepted this moment in time as her due. She’d waited ten years to have him hold her, and she was going to enjoy it. She gave more to the kiss, trying to take enough to sustain her for the rest of her life.
Soon, too soon, he pulled away. She saw the confusion in his eyes and waited for his words of regret.
Dillon didn’t know what had happened between them. He just knew that he loved the feel of Monique in his arms. It was almost as if she’d never left him. When he held her, he could almost believe she loved him. Almost.
“That wasn’t bad,” he said, making the understatement of the year. That kiss had rocked him to the point that he wouldn’t be able to get up from the couch without embarrassing himself.
She wouldn’t meet his gaze. “No, it wasn’t bad. At least, now we know.” She stood and brushed her hand needlessly across her head. “I guess I’d better go to bed.”
“I guess you’d better.”
He watched her as she left the room, head held high, shoulders straight. His Monique. She was right about one thing: At least they knew. And God help them what they did with the knowledge.
Chapter Eight
Monique covertly observed Dillon out of the corner of her eyes. She so loved watching him with one of the boys. It didn’t matter if it was Glenn or Calvin. She just loved seeing him love. And he did love both boys unconditionally. She didn’t have to guess about that.
But this afternoon as she watched him tussle with Calvin on the green grass of Elberton Park, she was thinking about the kiss they’d shared yesterday in Charleston. The kiss that had kept her awake more than half the night and had all but robbed her of an appetite this morning. The sly looks from Sue had indicated her sister-in-law had some idea what had gone on last night with Dillon. Monique was glad that Glenn had seemed oblivious to the tension flaring between her and Dillon.
At least she and Dillon knew, she repeated in her mind. She’d already known that she still loved him and found him attractive. What she hadn’t known was how much she still wanted him. And how much he obviously still wanted her. While knowing the latter appealed to her feminine vanity, the practical side of her knew the knowledge only placed her in jeopardy. She harbored no illusions that Dillon still cared for her, and she wanted—no, needed—more than the physical relief she would find in his arms.
Just because she and Dillon were getting along amicably didn’t mean he’d forgiven her. Not by a long shot. She still wasn’t sure he believed her when she told him she’d done what she had because she loved him. She wondered if she would believe a story like that if she were in his shoes.
She sighed and directed her attention to two little girls playing patty-cake. No use thinking about her and Dillon. Better to think about Dillon, Glenn and Calvin. She wanted so much for their relationship to work. Glenn needed the stability and the roots that Dillon could give him. She just hoped her son would accept the love that Dillon had to give him. And if things worked the way she wanted them to, Calvin would be the beneficiary of a large dose of love himself. She had so much in her heart to give him.
Calvin chose that moment to run over to her. “Did you see that, Moni?” he asked, almost out of breath. “I had Daddy down on the ground and he couldn’t get up.”
Monique smiled then touched the boy’s cheeks. She’d gotten used to expressing her affection, and found herself doing so at every opportunity. He seemed to enjoy it as much as she did. “Why, sure I saw you. For a while there, I thought I might have to come help your dad out.”
The boy laughed, an open, carefree laugh that made Monique think all was right with the world. “You’re a girl. You couldn’t help Daddy.”
Monique looked up when Dillon laughed.
“I didn’t know chauvinism was in the genes, Dillon, but it must be since Calvin and Glenn both seem to have their share.” He grinned at her and her stomach got all fluttery. She wanted him to kiss her again. She wanted to be held in those big, strong arms and have those big, tender hands touch her all over. She cleared her throat. “You’re just as bad as they are.”
“Now I didn’t say a thing. Don’t go getting mad with me.”
She looked at Calvin. “But he was thinking it, wasn’t he, Calvin?”
The little boy looked from one to the other and shrugged. He really didn’t know what she was talking about.
“Let’s go get some ice cream,” he suggested.
Monique looked to Dillon for direction. “Sounds good to me,” he said. “How about you, Monique?”
“I’ve got to stop hanging out with you guys or I’m going to be as big as a house. I think I’ve already gained a pound or two.”
“I doubt that,” Dillon said. “But if you have, you’ve gained them in all the right places.”
She turned and met his gaze. A mistake. His look was full of
masculine appraisal and appreciation. While flattering, she didn’t need his compliments today. Not when her resistance was at such a low level. She wondered what Dillon was doing anyway, tossing compliments her way.
“Well, just don’t look too closely,” she said. “You might see more than you want to see.”
He lifted a brow as if challenged by her statement, and she wondered again what kind of game he was playing. She tore her gaze away from him and took Calvin’s hand for the walk to the ice-cream shop.
During the short walk, Calvin asked, “If Glenn is my brother, does that make you my mother?”
The question took Monique by surprise. She looked to Dillon for an answer. He stopped and stooped down so he was at eye level with Calvin. “You know that Teena is your mother, Calvin. Why would you ask that question?”
The little boy tightened his grip on Monique’s hand and shrugged. “Dunno,” he said.
Dillon glanced up at Monique before inquiring further. “I think you do. You can tell me, Calvin. I’m not upset with you and neither is Moni.”
Monique stooped down to join them. “Your father’s right, Calvin. You can tell us.”
He lifted his big brown eyes to Monique and said softly, “I like you. You’d be a good mama. You live here.”
Monique’s heart turned over with love for the little boy who had become so dear to her. She followed her instincts and gathered him in her arms. “Oh, sweetie, I like you, too. I’d love it so much if you were my little boy. You know that, don’t you?”
She felt his little arms wrap tight around her neck and she had to close her eyes to keep her tears at bay. When she opened them, Dillon was staring at her with a curious look on his face. She couldn’t tell if he was angry, happy or confused. He reached out and caressed his son’s back and Calvin turned to include him in the embrace. Monique’s only regret was that Glenn wasn’t with them to share this special moment.
Dillon told himself that he had everything under control. He was attracted to Monique. That was no big deal. She was an attractive woman, and he was a living and breathing man. There was nothing abnormal about his response to her as an attractive woman.
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