by Lili Zander
Oh shit. This is Danek’s boss. It’s time to do my best ‘madly in love with my new husband’ imitation.
9
Naomi
You can do this, Naomi.
The woman—Director Lashi’vi—bows to Danek in greeting, a wide smile on her face. “Danek ab Usora. You came very highly recommended. I didn’t know you had already arrived, otherwise I would have offered you a berth in the private Cindifin spaceport.”
“It is of no consequence,” he replies smoothly. “My bondmate has never seen the Wekat Exchange, and so we decided to come early.”
“Ah, yes. Your bondmate.” She turns toward me, her gaze curious but friendly. “You’re from Tor Karah? I personally approved your travel to Noturn. The story of how you met is so romantic. And now you can’t bear to be separated from each other, not even for three months.” She sighs. “New love. Remember the early days, Xeni, when we couldn’t bear to be away from each other for even a night?”
Xeni is the woman that greeted us. Ah crap, she’s the Director’s wife. I wonder if there’s a way we can beat a graceful retreat and buy clothes somewhere else, where we won’t be under scrutiny?
Danek gives me a warm smile. Lacing his fingers in mine, he tugs me forward. “This is Naomi,” he says. The rebellion figured that since I was a newbie, the less I lied, the better, so I’m keeping my first name. “Naomi, this is Director Lashi’vi, Fourthborn of the House of Cindifin. She’s in charge of the mining operations on Noturn.”
Umm, how does one greet a high-ranking Zorahn? Should I shake hands? Do a full-on curtsy? I have no idea. Should’ve finished reading Dariux’s manual. I take a cue out of Danek’s book and do the same half-bow he did. “It’s good to meet you.”
She gives me the same blank look the salesperson in the pet store had given us. “My bondmate doesn’t speak Zor,” Danek interjects, offering the same explanation he’d given the saleswoman in the pet store.
Lashi’vi looks discomfited. “Please forgive me,” she says to me. “My translator has not been updated yet.”
“Umm, it’s not your fault?”
Danek translates for me. Lashi’vi gives me a brilliant smile. “You are too kind.” She bows to me again, and since I don’t know what to do, I bow back. Then she bows again, and then I bow back because I don’t want to be rude, and I have no idea what the protocol is. I wonder if we’re going to do this all day, but thankfully, Lashi’vi’s wife, Xeni, intervenes. “You need clothes for your trip?” she asks me. “You’ve come to the right place. We have all the latest fashions from the Homeworld. Starcloaks, fibpants, camorobes, and tempdresses.” She turns to Danek with a knowing smile. “And we have the finest lingerie in all of the Exchange.”
“Lingerie.” Danek gives me a smoldering glance. “What a good idea.” He pulls me closer, his touch possessive. “Naomi deserves only the finest things.”
What is Danek playing at? Why is he looking at me this way, as if I’m a tasty snack that he wants to devour? It’s hot enough to make me burst into flames. My long-dormant libido awakens. My cheeks flush, and arousal flares through my body.
You idiot. We’re being watched, remember? We’re supposed to be nuts for each other. Danek is acting.
I don’t know why, but that realization makes me feel a little deflated. I keep my reaction off my face—I was a bank manager, I’m an expert at maintaining a blandly pleasant expression, no matter how annoying the customer is—and flutter my eyelashes at Danek. He responds with a slow smile. “Want to try on some lingerie, Naomi?”
Xeni claps in delight. Lashi’vi gives us a knowing smile. “Xeni and I have been together for fifteen years—”
“Eighteen,” Xeni interjects with an exasperated glance. “It’s been eighteen.”
“Eighteen years,” Lashi’vi corrects ruefully. “You know I’m bad at dates.” She turns to us. “We met in a bazaar on Veris. Xeni was wearing a green cloak with an all-over pattern of shimmering stars. I asked her where I could buy one, and she told me she made it. And then she said—”
“Buy me a drink, and I might be persuaded to make you one,” they both finish in unison.
Aww, they’re adorable. So far, I haven’t really interacted with normal Zorahn people. I’ve met the ones that tortured Cassie and me, who were assholes, and I’ve interacted with the people at the Rebellion, who are mostly grim and purposeful and determined to restore justice to the Draekons. Don’t get me wrong, that’s an admirable goal, but it’s nice to meet normal people. Normal aliens, with normal retail jobs.
Alien salesmen and saleswomen. It’s all very surreal.
Danek laces his fingers in mine, bringing my palm up to his lips. He brushes a kiss across the back of my hand. “Eighteen years,” he says, his voice tinged with admiration. “I can only hope that Naomi and I will be as happy as the two of you.”
My skin prickles with nervous energy from his kiss. My emotions are all over the place. The way Danek looks at me, the way he touches me—something inside me is shifting, something that started two days ago, when I kissed him. I want it to be real. It’s been a long, long time since someone’s acted like I was the center of their universe, and I’ve missed it. I crave it.
When Will died, I missed him fiercely. For the first year, it was impossible to breathe. So many times, I wanted to stop in the middle of my day and just scream. Why did the sun continue to rise in the sky, day after day, when Will was gone? Why did a steady stream of customers trickle through my bank branch’s front door? Why did bills appear in my mailbox, month after month, like malignant clockwork? Why did the tulips bloom in early spring, why did the lilacs scent the air with their sweet blossom, why did birds chirp, why, why…
That’s the thing about death. Life goes on regardless. After Will died, life carried on, inexorably moving forward, and eventually, so did I. I even made myself go out on a few lackluster dates, but the men, nice as they were, didn’t matter.
But when Danek’s fingers brush mine, as if he can’t bear not to touch me, a powerful yearning fills my heart, and a realization clicks in place. I might be forty, but I’m not ready to give up. I want to love and be loved again.
I’ve been silent too long. Lashi’vi is looking at her tablet and saying something about needing to get back to the office. I force a smile on my face and bid her farewell—there’s more bowing—and then, when she’s gone, Xeni approaches me.
“Stand in the circle,” she orders. “I need your measurements. Two hands, two legs, yes? Are there others?”
What?
Danek replies for me. “No, Naomi’s species is a Zorahn-variant. Smaller though.” His voice lowers to a caress. “Infinitely more delicate.”
I swallow. Xeni takes note of my measurements, tells me to wait, and disappears into the back room. She returns with a rack of clothes floating alongside her on some kind of hover-platform. “Try them on,” she encourages. “Your bondmate can watch.”
There are far too many items on that rack. Despite my threats to buy everything in sight, this feels like an unjustifiable indulgence. “That’s too much,” I protest. “I just need a few things.”
Xeni doesn’t understand. “My bondmate thinks there are too many clothes on this rack,” Danek translates. “She is rarely wrong, but this time, she is.” He cups my cheek and stares into my eyes. “If it would make you happy, I would buy you the suns and the moons and the stars in the sky. But because I am a safety inspector, on a safety inspector’s salary, it must be clothes instead.” His hand is warm. My heart races when he touches me, like the wings of a trapped butterfly. His thumb grazes my lips, and I want to kiss him, and I want to do so much more…
Xeni chuckles. “I have the most reasonable prices in the exchange,” she assures Danek. “Let me activate a privacy shield, and you can get started.”
The privacy shield turns out to be similar to a one-way mirror. I can see out, but nobody can see inside. It’s surreal to be naked in the middle of the shop floor, with Danek in ful
l sight of me, but it’s also strangely arousing. My nipples harden and my insides tighten as I strip.
I don’t remember much of what happened last night, but I had been wearing a jumpsuit on Bestea, and when I’d woken up, I’d been wearing a sleep shirt. Danek must have helped me get changed. He must have seen me naked. I should be offended, but instead, it’s turning me on. Did he like what he saw? If I pull him into this dressing room, will he reach for me with hunger in his eyes?
Naomi, get a grip on yourself.
Most of the time, my stern warnings work. But not today. Danek settles down on a narrow bench. For the next hour, I model clothes for him, and he watches admiringly. He looks at me with naked desire, and it’s a heady, heady feeling. He’s acting like he’s the luckiest guy in the universe. Nobody has looked at me like this in a very long time, and I’ve forgotten how addictive it is. My stomach churns and flip-flops, and my skin prickles with excitement.
A part of me is intensely aware that Xeni is watching us, and that she’s married to Lashi’vi, and so we have to maintain our cover. But Danek is so good that he makes me forget it’s all an act. His response is fake, and I’m still falling for it. My body is flushed with heat and need pounds through my blood.
Together, we choose about two dozen outfits, and then it’s time for lingerie.
Zorahn lingerie bears only a superficial resemblance to anything I’m familiar with. Xeni hands me what looks like scraps of fabric, and I stare at it, confused. “How does this go on?” I ask.
“I can show you,” Danek replies. He rises to his feet, sleek and powerful, and he stalks toward me. “Activate your shield.”
Anticipation blazes through my body. Wordlessly, I obey, and then it’s just the two of us, alone, in the middle of the boutique, shielded from prying eyes.
“Take off your clothes,” he instructs, his voice deep and smooth.
I swallow hard. Houston, we have a problem. Danek’s big shoulders fill my vision. I’m standing a few inches away from this gorgeous, enigmatic Draekon, and in a few seconds I’m going to be naked.
I could ask him to turn around but there’s no space. And part of me wants him to see.
“Okay,” I whisper. The privacy shield prevents people from seeing us, but not from hearing us. I’m still wearing the last outfit I tried on, a tempdress, made out of a material that’s soft, comfortable, and designed to keep me warm, no matter what the temperature is. Enough waiting, let’s do this. I pull it over my head, and I’m clad in nothing other than the bra and panties I have on. Despite the padding, my nipples are very clearly outlined. If I take a step forward, I’d be in Danek’s arms, close enough to rub against his firm chest.
Danek growls, low in his throat, the noise possessive and male. His fingers play with my bra strap. “Take this off too.”
I stare up at him, my stomach knotting in need. I know this is for Xeni’s benefit. I know this is an act. I know he doesn’t really mean any of this, and I can’t bring myself to care. “Okay,” I whisper again. I reach behind my back and undo the clasp and slowly shrug out of the bra, freeing my breasts. Then I stand tall, shoulders back, because I might be over forty but I’m proud of my girls. The question is, will Danek like what he sees?
He inhales sharply.
I stop breathing.
The air goes still around us. Everything fades to the background. The boutique. Xeni. The mission. Everything falls away. I take a step toward him. The bra falls to the floor, and my hardened nipples brush the fabric of his shirt.
“Naomi,” he murmurs. He places his hands on my hips, his thumbs grazing the waistband of my panties. “You are—”
Before I lose my nerve, I rise to my tiptoes and kiss him. I press against his chest and tilt my head up, enticing him. He responds with a low growl, his big hands cupping my bottom. He kneads my ass and I gasp into his mouth. Yes.
My own hands are busy pulling Danek’s shirt up. I need to touch him. I slide my hands under the fabric. My eyes flutter closed at the feel of his smooth chest. Acres of sexy muscle, all mine to touch.
We’re still kissing; our lips are still locked together. Danek growls into my mouth and hitches me higher, his fingers biting into the cleft of my ass. I’ve got my bare legs wrapped around him now, and I’m rocking slightly against his hard torso—
Xeni appears beside us, and I push Danek back instinctively before realizing she can’t see us. More specifically, she can’t see me try to climb Danek like a tree.
“One moment,” I cry out.
“Ah, the newly bonded,” she says indulgently. She knows exactly what we’ve been up to. Gah! “I should have known. Take your time.”
Heat flares in my cheeks. I just felt up my fake fiancé in the middle of an alien boutique. I can’t believe it.
I lean down to grab my bra and accidentally brush against something very large and very hard between Danek’s legs. He hisses and half turns away. “Sorry,” I whisper. Bra, then dress. My fingers aren't cooperating. I fumble with the clasp.
Very slowly, Danek turns me to face away from him. He hooks my bra and reaches around to make sure it’s on properly. Is it just me or did his fingers linger on the curve of my breasts? Is it just me or did I lean in and stifle a moan?
I’m too jumpy. I need to calm down. I throw the dress over my head and gesture to Danek to tuck in his shirt. Once I’m dressed, I do my best to finger-comb my hair into something decent that does not scream ‘just had hot sex with a Draekon.’ Xeni is smirking enough as it is.
At least I kept my panties on.
As soon as I’m ready, Danek deactivates the privacy shield. “We’ll take all the lingerie,” he declares. “And now, if you will forgive us, we need to go somewhere more secluded.”
Xeni chuckles knowingly. “Of course you do,” she says. She packages up the clothes and the lingerie. Danek picks up the tab—keeping up my cover identity, I don’t offer to pay—and then he picks up the bags, declining my offer of help.
We make our way to the skimmer. We get inside. Danek turns to me. His eyes are still hot with desire. “Give me a minute,” he murmurs. “You are so very beautiful, and my mind is a fog. If I attempt to drive the skimmer right now, I’m going to crash into something.”
For a second, I believe every single word. Then reality crashes into me. “What are you doing?” I hiss. “Nobody is watching us any longer. You’re laying it on a bit thick, don’t you think?”
He exhales slowly. “I don’t understand. You don’t think my desire is real?”
Hope blooms and withers in the space of an instant. “No, I don’t,” I reply bluntly. “I’m a forty-year old woman who discovered her first grey hair last month. When I wake up in the morning, I feel stiff all over, and my knees creak. I’m not sure when that started to happen, but I don’t like it. In the meanwhile, you look like this.” I wave an arm at him.
His forehead furrows in confusion. “Like what?”
Argh. Does he really want me to spell it out? Danek is gorgeous. Sleek, sculpted, and lethal. If we could travel back in time, Leonardo da Vinci would have used the Draekon as a model for his drawing of the idealized man. “Have you looked in a mirror recently? Nobody is going to believe you’re hot for me.”
Where is this insecurity coming from, all of a sudden? I didn’t have a crisis of confidence when I learned the details of the mission. When Dariux filled me in on the cover story, I didn’t question that Danek would fall in love with me.
So why am I freaking out now, the moment he touches me, staking his claim on me? The moment he stares at me with hot, possessive eyes?
Because you want it to be real.
Oh fuck. The touching, the affection, the desire, the love—I want it, but I can’t have it. Not from this man, who sees me as an intrusion into his life. As a liability.
“Why?” he asks, his forehead furrowing. “Why wouldn’t anyone—” He cuts off his sentence mid-word as his comm emits a long squawk. He glances at the display, and his lips compr
ess in a tight line.
“What’s the matter?”
“It’s an urgent alert from Cindifin,” he replies. “A solar storm is going to disrupt travel out of the Wekat Exchange for the next week. Almost all the miners are here, and so we’re leaving for Noturn ahead of schedule. The shuttle will be taking off in three hours. We have just enough time to get your floofs, head to the Aheat, alert Dariux and the others, pack our stuff, and get to the Cindifin spaceport.” He gives me a frustrated look. “You’re upset, and I want to know why, but we need to hurry. We’ll discuss this later.”
No, we won’t. I shouldn’t have let Danek see my moment of insecurity. He can read my feelings far too clearly, and I don’t like it. I can’t be vulnerable around him. I need to keep my shields up. Danek already thinks I’m weak and emotional—I refuse to give him more ammunition.
Three months. I’m going to have to keep my heart in check for three whole months.
I might have bitten off more than I can chew.
10
Danek
I was supposed to be pretending to be crazy about Naomi. I hadn’t needed to pretend. I hadn’t been playing a role.
The first time I’d seen the human woman, she’d been shattered. Her bones were broken. Her skin was covered with open, festering sores. Her hair was caked with blood, and her eyes had been dead, all hope extinguished by the horrors of what she was being forced to endure.
And when I touched her, the rathr, the bone-deep, mind-obliterating pain that has defined my existence, disappeared.
Over and over again, I told myself it didn’t matter. There were far more important things at stake. Naomi’s body and mind had been left in fragments. She needed to heal. To recover. If my presence comforted her, as the healers insisted, then I would stay by her side. If she flinched from me, I would endure.
Then she did something that shocked me. She volunteered for this mission.
