Eagle

by Janie Crouch

  The kiss was lush, open, and hot, the way it always had been between them. It had been a long time, so damn long, since she had kissed anyone. Since she had been this close to anyone at all. Her body was starved for it.

  But it hungered for Finn most of all. Only he had ever been able to ignite a fire in her with just a kiss. And this one went on and on like it had when they were in high school, when kissing was all they’d known how to do. When they’d been young and hadn’t figured out there was so much better.

  She would’ve expected his lips to be hard and punishing, vengeful. But they weren’t. They coaxed, slid, nibbled against hers, as if he could sense how alone she had been, how close to the edge she’d been walking these last few months. How close she’d been to breaking.

  They both emitted low sounds of hunger as their tongues met and dueled. His thumbs rubbed gentle circles on her throat, the sensation more arousing than anything she’d experienced in years. The feel of his big body pressing her hard against the door of her car should probably have made her wary. Concerned.

  But it didn’t. This was Finn. They might tear each other apart, but he would never hurt her. She just wanted to stay here and kiss him forever and forget about everything else that waited, ready to pounce, beyond the two of them.

  But it wasn’t long before people were coming out, laughing, talking, and very definitely coming within visible range. Finn eased his body back from hers, then took a step away, completing the distance.

  She wanted to cry at the loss.

  “I’ve got to go back inside,” he said. “We’re celebrating and it’s important I be there.”

  She looked down at their feet, his so much larger than hers. “Yeah, no problem. I need to get going.” To absolutely nowhere.

  “You can come in if you want. Hang out with us.”

  She swallowed. God, was that possible? Could she actually start over? Reclaim some of what she’d lost here when she’d turned away all those years ago? Friends. Finn. The slightest bit of hope bubbled up inside her. Possibly she could find her way back.

  It wasn’t definite, she understood that. But she didn’t need it to be definite. Just the possibility was enough.

  A maybe.

  She tried to keep it casual. “Sure. I guess I could. . .”

  She looked up at his face, and the hope that had been building inside her was wiped away in an instant. He was just being polite. The tension in his features was concrete evidence he didn’t honestly want her inside with them. She made him uncomfortable.

  And who could blame him?

  She almost wished she didn’t know him so well. But she’d spent so many years studying that face, that body. Most people wouldn’t have been able to tell that he was feigning politeness.

  She gave him her best smile, hoping it would hold up for just a few more seconds. “Actually, what am I saying? I can’t stay. I’ve got somewhere I have to be.”

  It sounded like the most pathetic excuse in the history of pathetic excuses.

  Evidently to him, too. His features softened. “Charlie. . .”

  Oh God, she couldn’t stand any kindness right now. She would shatter all over the ground. “We both know I don’t belong in there, Finn.” Her voice was low, husky.

  He rubbed at the back of his neck with one hand. “Yeah, probably not.”

  And there it was. The truth, stated as gently as possible. But the jagged edge of it ripped across her heart all the same.

  She slipped away from him—what she should’ve done as soon as he’d followed her—opened the door of her car and got inside.

  He didn’t try to stop her.

  Because what else was there to say?

  Two days later Finn still couldn’t erase the look on Charlie’s face from his mind when he’d told her she shouldn’t go back inside The Eagle’s Nest.

  Not that it had been anything overt. She hadn’t flinched. No tears had leaked from those ridiculous blue eyes of hers. Charlie never cried.

  It’d been so much subtler. The tiniest glimmer of hope right before it died out. That was almost worse.

  He couldn’t wrap his head around it. What had she wanted? Why had she been there in the first place? Had she truly wanted to go hang out with his friends?

  Like she hadn’t shattered his heart into a million pieces eight years ago. As if she hadn’t told him she loved him, then married another man despite Finn begging her not to.

  God, he’d almost gotten court-martialed for her. For coming back to Wyoming to try to stop her wedding to a man he knew she didn’t love. He’d been so sure if he could just talk to her, see her face-to-face, ask her to wait and trust him, she would. She would marry Finn.

  But she hadn’t.

  She’d told him, pretty much in front of the entire town, that she chose Brandon Kempsley. That he had the money, means, and education to give Charlie what she wanted.

  Finn had been fine to screw around with for a few years, but when it came to lifelong choices, he didn’t quite make the cut.

  He’d been in love with her through high school and beyond. She’d just been marking time until she had a chance to marry someone closer to her tax bracket.

  So, what if she’d gotten her feelings a little hurt at not being invited to hang out with Finn’s friends.

  But it bothered him. Maybe he was just a sucker, or he’d gone soft after leaving the Army. But that look on her face, of hope being squashed? It ate at his gut.

  And that kiss. He’d be lying if he said it hadn’t run through his mind on repeat from the moment they’d pulled away from each other.

  Maybe the hurt in Charlie’s eyes was new and unexpected, but that kiss. . .it had been the same in all the good, bad, and burning-down-the-whole-town ways.

  His body remembered everything about the feel of hers. The way her much smaller frame fit against his. The way his fingers automatically dug into that long blonde hair. The sound she made when all she was thinking about was him.

  Who knows what would’ve happened if they hadn’t been in a crowded parking lot.

  Heat had never been their problem. Not getting burned? That was another story.

  If she burned him now, nearly a decade later and hopefully wiser? Well, then that just made him an idiot, didn’t it?

  He was pulling up to the county education offices to talk to Mrs. Johnson. Because whether he was an idiot or not when it came to the sexual chemistry between him and Charlie, he had to know if she could truly help his son.

  Mrs. Johnson was the special education specialist for all of Teton County. She knew about Ethan’s situation, what he’d gone through as an infant and toddler, and even before he was born, which was now contributing to his learning problems.

  Finn let his fury roll off him as he walked into the school. It was an old anger directed at the woman who had given birth to Ethan and then refused to care for him the way he needed, and it wouldn’t help now.

  He would give up anything to go back in time and know about Ethan from the moment his beautiful son was born. But he couldn’t. All he could do was provide the best available options for Ethan now. Even if that included Charlie.

  He knocked on Mrs. Johnson’s door and entered at her invitation.

  “Finn.” The older woman smiled, tucking a strand of gray hair behind her ear. “It’s good to see you. How is Ethan? How’s your summer going?”

  Mrs. Johnson had a calming, friendly way about her—equal parts personality, training, and godsend. Finn had asked more than once if she would consider leaving her administration position and going straight back into the classroom. Ethan’s, to be specific. But even the lure of having summers off hadn’t persuaded her.

  “Everything is going great. I can’t get Ethan to come inside until dark almost every day. We’re out in the woods all the time or he’s playing with Legos. Normal boy stuff.”

  Except that his bestie was a four-year-old.

  “I’m glad he’s having fun. That’s important. Any luck on gettin
g him to read something?”

  Guilt slid through him. “No, but that’s my fault more than anything. I’m not much of a reader either, I’m afraid.”

  Mrs. Johnson didn’t tsk or make him feel bad. She just shrugged. “It’s summer. The sun’s out. I think books take a back seat for most boys Ethan’s age.” She smiled kindly. “And maybe yours too.”

  “But school starts in a month and a half.” Finn rubbed his fingers over his eyes. “Every time someone mentions it, Ethan gets all tense and nervous. I hate that.”

  She gestured to a chair, and after he sat, she took the one next to him. “I do, too. We should do anything we can to establish school as a positive place for him, rather than negative. Any stories you can think of from your own school experience, funny, silly, anything positive, you should go out of your way to tell him. Or your Linear Tactical friends. Ethan looks up to them all like uncles.”

  Finn nodded. “That’s a good idea. I’ll ask my mom too. I’m sure she has a lot. They might be of me causing trouble, but they’ll probably be entertaining and positive.”

  “Good. These aren’t solutions, of course, but changing his outlook about school is part of the equation.”

  “I wanted to talk to you about that tutor you suggested a month ago, the one I refused.”

  Mrs. Johnson’s face lit up. “Charlotte Devereux. Yes. I was really so sorry when that didn’t work out.”

  “Can you tell me more about why you suggested her? Charlotte and I went to high school together, and she never mentioned any desire to study education or work with children. Nor did she ever seem to have the temperament for it. So I’ll admit, I was caught off guard when I found out she was the tutor you thought so highly of.”

  “I see. Well, I obviously didn’t know Ms. Devereux when she was in high school. I can only speak to my interviews and sessions with her currently, which are stellar.”

  The older woman didn’t say it, but Finn heard the gentle rebuke in her words. It was unfair to judge anyone solely by how they’d acted in high school. He certainly wouldn’t want someone to judge him that way. Hell, half the older adults in this town still brought up his streaking-through-the-bleachers-naked incident from high school.

  “Then tell me what it was about her that made you think she’d be good for Ethan.”

  “Well, first, I looked into her actual schooling and master’s thesis. To be honest, I don’t have time to interview a lot of people. I only want to bring in those who are well suited for the kids we have in this county. I won’t bore you with the details, but Ms. Devereaux’s course choices and master’s thesis topic on the use of symbols and codes as a coping strategy interested me. I ended up reading the whole thing.” She smiled. “I can’t tell you the last time I read an entire master’s thesis.”

  He bit back a sigh. He’d never doubted Charlie was smart. “That doesn’t necessarily make her good with kids or as a tutor.”

  “Absolutely. But it was enough to get her in for an interview. That went really well, so I brought her in for some supervised sessions working with kids. She is exceptional, Finn. And I do not say that lightly.”

  He just couldn’t wrap his head around it. He hated the thought that entered his mind, but he had to ask. “Mrs. Johnson, I respect you a great deal. You know more about Ethan’s life and those early years than anyone outside my immediate circle. You worked with him and his regular teachers and I owe you a great debt for that. Without you, I have no idea what state Ethan would be in. Perhaps he’d still be that completely silent kid who came to me when I first got him out of foster care.”

  “But. . .” Mrs. Johnson stared at him patiently.

  He held his hands out in front of him, palms up, a gesture of regret for the words about to come. “But I just have to know if Charlotte offered you money to get you to hire her as a tutor. I don’t mean to get to Ethan. She seemed legitimately surprised when she found out it was my son she’d been scheduled to see a few weeks ago. But the Devereuxes owned a lot of Oak Creek and the surrounding area at one time, probably still do. Them throwing money at someone to get Charlotte what she wanted isn’t unheard of.”

  “I see.” Mrs. Johnson tapped her fingers on her desk.

  “I don’t mean that as any sort of slight against you,” he was quick to add. “It would not be some sort of shady bribe. More like an offer to provide resources you don’t have, but need, if you hired Charlotte. And honestly, if you said yes, I have no problem with that. I truly don’t. I say get whatever you can to help the children in your care.”

  “But in that case, you don’t want Ms. Devereux around your son.”

  “I’m not sure I want Charlotte around my son in any case.”

  She smiled at him again. “Certainly, with any education specialist, the relationship between them and the parents is critical. If you don’t trust Charlotte, then you are right to keep her from Ethan. Your instincts as a father are good. Trust them.”

  Finn rubbed the back of his neck. This wasn’t coming out right. “It’s not that I don’t trust Charlotte around Ethan. It’s really not. I don’t think she would ever hurt anyone.” That was the truth. “I just don’t want to waste Ethan’s time”—and force himself to be near her every week—“if this is just some sort of hobby for her and she’s not really going to help him.”

  She leaned her elbows on the table, studying him. “Then I hope you will trust me when I say no money at all was offered or even hinted at during the hours I’ve spent with Ms. Devereux. No mention of her father or her family whatsoever. There’s no hidden agenda here.”

  “I hope you understand I was just trying to—”

  The woman held out a hand. “Let me go on to say that if I could bring on Charlotte Devereux full-time, I would do so without hesitation. I even went so far as to put the initial paperwork in. In my professional opinion, working as a part-time private tutor is a complete waste of her talents. I think she could probably get a job in any school system, not only in Wyoming but the entire country.”

  He could feel his eyes widening. “Really?”

  “But for whatever reason, that’s not what she wants. I didn’t pry. I thought maybe she had young kids at home and didn’t want a full-time job or something like that. You probably know more about that than I do.”

  No, he really didn’t. “I see.”

  “Unfortunately, we haven’t been able to use Ms. Devereux again since we sent her out to meet you. School was ending, so there wasn’t as much demand for tutors. Also, any time a family rejects the tutor, we must put an official mark in the file. Then there’s a waiting period and a chance for the family to file any sort of complaint.”

  Shit. “I didn’t have one against Charlotte. We just have. . .history and I think we were both caught a little off guard. But I didn’t mean to jeopardize her work.” Especially if Charlotte was as good as Mrs. Johnson said she was.

  “Well, I’m sure we’ll be using her once school starts again if she’s not swept up by another school system.”

  He studied the older woman for a long minute. “Would Charlotte really be good for Ethan? Would she be able to help him?”

  He didn’t ask the question lightly, but it was the one he ultimately needed an answer for. The price for tutoring would be nothing compared to the personal price Finn would have to pay if Charlotte was around all the time.

  But he wasn’t surprised at Mrs. Johnson’s answer. “Academically, I think Charlotte Devereux might be the best thing that ever happened to your son.”

  Charlie was out-and-out grinning and flipping her phone in her hand as she walked from her car toward The Silver Palace, her current main job.

  Grinning.

  She couldn’t remember the last time she’d done that.

  Mrs. Johnson had called her today. She had three—three!—tutoring jobs for Charlie. The woman was confident that all of them would turn into weekly appointments. Not only that, she was positive that once school started and word spread about Charlie’s ab
ilities, Charlie would have so many appointments she’d have to turn some down. She found that hard to believe, but it was a fabulous thought.

  Mrs. Johnson had asked her once again to consider joining the Teton County School System, had sworn she would be a shoo-in for the job.

  It was hard to lie to the other woman, but Charlie had already learned her lesson. There was no way she was going to be able to hold down any job where her ex-husband’s family, the very rich and powerful Kempsleys, had any sway.

  That would be all of Wyoming and most of the surrounding states.

  They hadn’t liked that she’d divorced Brandon after he’d been arrested. They held her responsible for it, and that she’d somehow ruined his good name by not taking the blame for what he’d done. Evidently to the Kempsleys, things like the truth played second fiddle to protecting their grown son.

  Brandon hadn’t even gone to prison, despite the quantity of drugs found in his possession. His family had made a deal and he’d gotten off with a fine and community service. But Brandon’s dreams of a political career, or his parents’ dream for him, were effectively over.

  And now, even years after the divorce, they were still making her pay. They made sure every job she’d gotten in the education field had been snatched away from her in the most brutal way possible. No school system would touch her, as Mrs. Johnson would find out if she took a permanent job offer for Charlie any further. The moment she was fully in the Teton County system, the Kempsleys would pounce. They’d put pressure on the principal or school board not to hire her. They’d tell outright lies, if they had to. The result would be the same: unless Charlie wanted to move to a different part of the country, a full-time career in education wasn’t available. And right now, that move wasn’t possible.

  So, she would keep tutoring for the time being. At least it gave her the chance to use her knowledge and skills. So far, the Kempsley family hadn’t stopped that, or maybe they just didn’t care about something so small. Hopefully, that would stay the case.