Crib Notes

by Holly Jacobs

  “Getting happier,” Tucker admitted. “So, what are you going to wear?”

  “Oh, man, you know things are bad when Angelina Tucker starts asking me about my wardrobe. To answer your question, I’m going to wear whatever fits.”

  “That bad?”

  Eli lifted her top and revealed the rubber band that connected her pants button to the button hole. It was a stopgap measure at best. “I think it’s time to admit that I need maternity clothes.”

  “Well, we could go shopping.” Tucker’s offer was made with obvious reluctance. “I remember I had this great teacher who took me out and helped me buy a few necessities when I no longer fit in my clothes.”

  “And I remember I had this student who decided maternity clothes were horrible and spent the last five months of her pregnancy wearing sweatpants and her father’s flannel shirts and T-shirts.”

  “I bet I could borrow some of his stuff for you, too. Although, they might not be the most professional outfits for a teacher.”

  “Thanks. And thank your dad, even though he didn’t make the offer. But I’ll probably have to break down and buy some maternity clothes soon.”

  “Okay, so call me and we’ll skip the movie and just do the maternity store and lunch.”

  “Shopping for clothes is your idea of torture.”

  “Yeah, but I like you enough to suffer for our friendship.”

  “It’s a date.”

  “See, you can use the word without grimacing.” Tucker started for the door. “Call me after that other big date.”

  “I’ll call you, all right….” Eli was talking to the door.

  What was she doing? Single, pregnant and dating a younger man?

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  “Maternity clothes. Some women love them. Some hate them. But as your waistline expands, they become a necessity. Today’s trends are much more fashion friendly.”

  —Crib Notes: Pregnancy, Childbirth and Parenting for Teens, by Mary Jeanne Lorei

  THE NEXT DAY, ZAC found a parking space…way at the back end of the lot. He was glad he’d dropped Eli off at the door to the mall. She’d protested that she was perfectly capable of walking, but he’d simply pulled over next to the entrance and waited until she got out. She’d grumbled as she did.

  He smiled as he waded through the three or so inches of snow that had fallen since the plows had been through.

  It might not be officially winter until the end of December, but in Western Pennsylvania, winter could arrive anytime after Halloween—sometimes before. It was still early enough in December that this current batch of snow would probably melt, but it would be sticking around soon enough.

  Thinking about snow was easier than worrying about what was his first official date with Eli. It wasn’t what he’d have chosen, but Eli was still tepid, to say the least, about dating him. Although she didn’t seem all that tepid about him personally. As a matter of fact, their kiss was pretty hot.

  That thought warmed him as he hurried toward the mall.

  Eli was stubbornly standing outside the Sears door waiting for him. “Why didn’t you go inside where it’s warm?”

  “You know, Zac, scolding a woman isn’t the best way to start a date.”

  Before he could respond, she continued, “And I was outside because I like the snow. I like watching the hustle and bustle here, especially this time of year.” She dug in her pocket and stuffed a bill into the Salvation Army kettle as they walked by it. “I just love the season.”

  That didn’t surprise him in the least. “So, where do we start?” he asked as they stood in the concourse. Zac knew it fed into stereotypes, but he couldn’t help it. He hated shopping.

  “You need to get things for your sisters and mom?”

  He nodded.

  “Do you have a guideline money-wise?”

  He gave her his figure.

  She smiled. “Oh, this is almost too easy. Let’s go.”

  Eli was an organized, no-nonsense shopper. That didn’t surprise him. They had a very pretty locket for his mom within the first half hour and then headed toward one of the trendy teen stores to find something for Cessy.

  “So, how did your panel go yesterday?” he asked as they strolled down the concourse.

  “Fine. I started the role-model panel my second year with the program. We didn’t have any real graduates, so I found former teen parents throughout the community. They were wonderful and the kids enjoyed them, but it’s so much more rewarding to see the kids you worked so hard with come back as success stories. Tucker came in. She’s always a great role model for the kids. She has an ability to really reach them.”

  He heard the word she wasn’t saying, so he supplied it. “But?”

  She stopped in front of a candy cane pole at the Santa Claus station. Her frown contrasted with the smiles on everyone else’s faces. “But what?”

  “There was a ‘but’ in there,” he insisted. “Remember what Cessy pointed out. I can hear you even when you’re not talking.” He looked up and saw a sprig of mistletoe hanging off the pole. He didn’t mention how much he’d like to indulge in the age-old custom. No, he simply waited for her to tell him just what the but was.

  Eli’s silence was broken when she sighed. “But even Tucker couldn’t reach Ariel…at least not on my behalf.”

  “She’s still upset?”

  Eli shrugged and looked disheartened. “I can only assume, since she’s not talking to me. Oh, she’ll answer if called on in class, but otherwise, nothing.

  Eli started walking down the concourse again. Santa had a line of kids waiting to see him, and there was a holiday train running around in circles behind him. Its merry whistle seemed to punctuate Eli’s words.

  Wanting to comfort her, and knowing it was risky, Zac took her hand in his. “Want me to talk to her?” He hadn’t really talked to her before, he’d simply mentioned that Eli was upset. This time he’d be more firm.

  Eli didn’t withdraw her hand from his. As a matter of fact, she gave his hand a firm squeeze. “No. But thanks. Like I said, she needs a target and I’m convenient.”

  “How is everyone else reacting?”

  “Fine. Better than fine. The other teachers are great, and Lainey came up to me the other day and said that she always liked my class, but now she really knows I get it because Arthur dumped me like her boyfriend dumped her.” She paused. “You know, I’ve always done everything I can to reach the girls. I don’t know why I never gave this approach a try before now.”

  She was trying to make a joke, but it fell flat.

  “Eli, it’ll all be okay.” He paused and asked, “So have you heard from Arthur lately?”

  “Not since that last time. I want him to give me the parental termination papers and just step away. I don’t like ambiguity.”

  “It will work out.” It made him feel like a schmuck, but truth be told he was relieved she hadn’t heard from Arthur. If he really thought Arthur was the man to make Eli happy, he’d have tracked the guy down himself. But he didn’t think Arthur was the man for Eli. Zac very much believed he was. “Really, it will all end up the way it was meant to be.”

  “Most days I believe that. Sometimes, though, it’s harder.” She hesitated and then added in a blatant attempt to change the conversation, “But Zac Keller, I didn’t think you were the kind of guy who believed in destiny.”

  “We all grew up listening to Mom talk about how we were all meant to be a family. That it was destiny. So I’ve always believed in it.” He squeezed her hand. “And sometimes I believe in it a lot.”

  She looked away, and he knew he’d come on too strong, too fast.

  When she continued looking at the other side of the mall, he knew it wasn’t just that he’d made her uncomfortable. Zac turned and saw she was checking out a maternity store. “Want to go in?”

  “No, that’s fine. Tucker offered to come with me to shop for clothes.”

  “I take i
t from your expression that she doesn’t enjoy shopping.”

  “You hardly know her, and yet you know her so well. I’ll confess, I’m no window-shopper. I tend to come into a store or mall, get what I need, then get out. But Tuck’s barely stepped foot in any store other than a grocery store, and most of the time, her dad does their grocery shopping. No, her offer was a firm sign of how deep her friendship goes. Besides, I can’t imagine going into a maternity store is any more your cup of tea than hers.”

  “Well, the good news is, Tucker will owe me one. And I’m guessing she’s a very good person to have in your corner. Come on. If you can help me shop for my mom and sisters, the least I can do is go with you to look around a maternity store since we’re here.”

  “I do need some pants. Desperately.”

  “Then, let’s go.” Zac liked to think of himself as a brave man, but walking into the maternity store with Eli was one of the bravest things he’d done in a while.

  One of the saleswomen approached them before they’d taken more than two steps inside. Soon thereafter she led Eli off. There was a seating area in the back, so Zac sat, content to wait. He noticed a book on a nearby table. What Every Father Should Know. He picked it up and thumbed through it. Chapters titled “What To Do When She’s Breastfeeding” and “Emotional Roller Coasters.” “Remember, that while your role might not be as obvious as the mother’s, babies need a father’s care. Boy or girl, they need a male role model….”

  Eli’s baby would need a male role model. Would Zac be around long enough to be it?

  He glanced at Eli as Eli had worn a bulky sweater under her coat, but when she moved the right way, her stomach’s small bulge was evident. He noticed her hand rested lightly on it, as if the baby inside were her touchstone, something she needed to reassure herself was still there.

  It was too soon to talk about being there for this baby, in his heart he already was. He’d have no trouble being a father. He couldn’t help but think of his parents and siblings. No, he didn’t need to be related to this baby genetically in order to parent it. He wasn’t sure Eli got that yet.

  “Being Daddy is More Than Just Tossing Around a Football,” a chapter in the book proclaimed.

  He thought of his father. Abe Keller hadn’t been much on tossing footballs, but he’d been there in so many ways. School plays, PTA meetings. His dad had even been one of the chaperones on an overnight trip to Cleveland when Zac was in eighth grade. He hadn’t thought anything of it at the time, but later he realized that being trapped in a hotel room with four boys might not have been his father’s idea of a good time.

  No, there might not be any shared DNA between them, but Abe Keller was a great father and a real role model for what a dad should be.

  Zac wanted nothing less for Eli’s baby. And he didn’t think Arthur came close to stacking up. The man was…

  He forced himself not to think about Arthur.

  That’s not what Eli needed. She needed a friend. She needed support.

  And he hoped she was beginning to need him.

  She appeared with a stack of clothing in her arms. “I’m going to try a few things on, if you’re sure you don’t mind.”

  He held the book up. “I’m reading. Take your time.”

  He watched her walk toward the changing room. She had a bit of a waddle because of the large stack of clothing. Soon she’d be waddling because of the ever expanding girth of her stomach. She’d be cute.

  He turned back to the book and flipped to another chapter. “Adoptive Fathers.”

  “Being a father is more than biology. Parents aren’t tied to their children by blood, but rather by love. Remember that. Your baby needs you. Your wife needs you….”

  The chapter echoed so many things his parents had taught him.

  “Good book?”

  Zac looked up and saw Eli standing in front of him, two big bags in hand.

  “Wow, that was fast.” He set down the book, got up and took the bags before she could protest. “You obviously got some shopping done.”

  “Yes.” She turned shy. “And I know this wasn’t exactly the best first date ever, I mean, it’s different all right. Sitting around a maternity store while your date shops.”

  “Eli, you don’t get it yet, do you?” he asked as they left the maternity store.

  She stopped to the side of the entryway and studied him. “Get what, Zac?”

  He set down the bags containing her maternity clothes and his Christmas presents. “I don’t care what we do, I just like being with you. Whether we’re talking about the CATA Project, watching a basketball game or shopping—I like it because you’re there, too.”

  “You’re right, I don’t get it. I’m pregnant. I’m getting fatter by the minute and…” She looked truly confused. “I just don’t get it. I’m nothing special.”

  “Now, there’s a subject for a great debate because I disagree.”

  He’d given Eli’s hang-ups about dating him some serious thought. It was time to lay it all on the line.

  He didn’t need any special insight to see that she was going to be a tough sell.

  “Let me ask you something.”

  “Okay.”

  “Don’t look so worried. It’s not about you and me, it’s about Tucker. I take it she dates on occasion?”

  Eli appeared confused. “Very rarely, but yes, she dates.”

  “And she has a kid?” he asked.

  Eli nodded.

  “And it doesn’t bother you that she dates?”

  He saw the lightbulb moment, when she understood where his questions were going. “Zac—”

  “Come on, Eli, just so we’re clear. You don’t have any fundamental problem with the idea of single moms dating, right?”

  “You’re right, I don’t have problems with single moms dating. But I’m not quite a mom yet, I’m a mom-to-be. And may I point out, I agreed to a date.”

  “You reluctantly agreed to a date. If I were a less confident man, I’d have been wounded by the extreme coercion I’ve had to exert to get you to agree. Now, what you’re saying is that if I’d been willing to wait until after you had the baby, you’d have been more comfortable with the idea of dating me?”

  “When you put it that way, my reluctance sounds stupid. It’s not the pregnancy alone. It’s the fact you’re younger.” She stared at him stubbornly.

  He wasn’t buying it. “I’m not younger by that much.”

  She snorted. “I could have practically babysat you.”

  “No, you couldn’t have. I’m pretty sure I read an article about the fact Pennsylvania doesn’t have a law on the books about what is old enough to babysit, but it said eleven was considered old enough by the courts. And I know my mom never let us babysit until we were twelve. So, no, you couldn’t have babysat me.”

  “Almost,” she insisted.

  “It’s sort of a double standard, isn’t it? I mean, if a girl was dating a guy who was older, you wouldn’t think anything about it.”

  “I don’t know—”

  “And given that women statistically live longer than men, it really makes more sense for women to date younger guys.”

  She smiled.

  It was the smallest upturn of her lips, but it was indeed the beginning of a smile.

  “Zac—”

  “Lastly, let me simply point out that when you’re past your twenties, a few years doesn’t really represent any huge life-experience gap. For instance, what do you listen to in the car?”

  There was no hinting now, Eli wore a full-out smile. He could sense she was weakening.

  “Country,” she admitted.

  “There you go. I love country. We can talk the same music language. So, what it comes down to is—do you like me? I feel like I’m back in school, but still I’ll ask, if you weren’t pregnant, and if my age wasn’t a factor, would you like me enough to date me?”

  “And if I hadn’t just gotten out of a
long-term relationship.”

  He’d won. He knew it. He wasn’t going to gloat, but if that was the last of her arguments, then Zac knew he’d won. “No, that one doesn’t count. Whatever we have growing between us is absolutely not a rebound relationship. We waited quite a while before today’s first date, so no. You don’t get to use that argument, either.” He grinned to let her know he was teasing.

  “It seems I’m not winning any argument today.” Eli went from smiling to out and out laughing.

  “So, we’re an item? Dating?”

  She shook her head. “You’re crazy and beyond persistent.”

  “Your answer?”

  “Fine, so we’re dating.”

  “That wasn’t so hard, was it?” It was a huge hurdle. Zac felt like celebrating.

  The holiday crowd was bustling around them, and he purposefully turned the conversation to something lighter. “So, how long are you off for the holidays?”

  SOMEWHERE DURING HIS reflections on dating, Eli had admitted to herself her real reason for not wanting to date Zac—she was afraid. Arthur had been comfortable. Easy, even. They both maintained their own homes, their own spaces. They didn’t mingle at each other’s jobs. They were together regularly, but neither had ever done much calling on days they didn’t see each other.

  Now, here was Zac, and nothing about him was easy. He’d found a way into her life and sort of filled in all the cracks and rounded off the edges. He called every day until one day she realized she was waiting for his call. Looking forward to it, even. And she saw him all the time. There was no regularity about it. He was simply with her whenever possible.

  She’d met his family and had a standing invitation to weekend dinners. They’d even included Tucker. It took two years before she’d met Arthur’s sister, and even after that, when Ashley came to town Arthur was apt to see her on his own.

  “There’s a Christmas party coming up for the Keller’s Markets’ employees. Want to go?”