by Gem Frost
The word sounded innocuous, almost sweet, bringing to mind thoughts of childish laughter and happy, gap-toothed smiles, but right now Jon hated it, because it sounded so awful and derogatory when applied to the big, strong man he loved.
“Unable to change,” he said, struggling for better phrasing. “Just because you can’t change doesn’t mean you have to leave us for good. You can still come home.” He nuzzled the other man’s chin again. “Please, Cae, please come home. We can work this all out somehow.”
“I don’t think so, Jon.” The deep voice sounded very bitter. “You saw me earlier. I’m not… safe. I don’t belong around normal people.”
Jon had to admit that the way Cae had beaten up on that guy, grinning savagely, looking like he was having the time of his life, had scared him a little. Okay, a lot. But the guy had deserved the rough treatment, sort of. He’d threatened a member of the Pack, and Cae’s close friend besides, so a violent response had been somewhat understandable. And surely his friend wouldn’t actually kill someone.
Would he?
He pushed away his doubts and reached up, cupping his hand against Cae’s cheek. “Cae,” he said softly. “Caeden. Please come home. Your parents miss you.” His voice fell to a whisper. “And I miss you.”
Cae closed his eyes, leaning his head against Jon’s hand, and for the first time since Jon had found him, he looked very vulnerable. And very young. Despite the confident swagger, the dangerous glower, and the aura of sex he exuded, right now he looked as lonely and scared and confused as a runaway teenager.
“Don’t ask me that,” he said softly. “Please, Jon. Don’t ask me to come home. I can’t.”
“But you want to come home.”
“Oh, God, yeah. I miss it. I miss Wolf Green. I miss you, and my parents, and the rest of the Pack, so much my chest aches. I even miss my stupid paper-shuffling job.” Caeden heaved a long sigh. “But I came here because I thought maybe… maybe I could simply be a human. An ordinary human instead of a freak. I just can’t live with our people any more, Jon. My parents are ashamed of me, and everyone in town stares when I walk past, and whispers and laughs behind my back. I’m supposed to be the Alpha, and instead I’m just… a cub. It was killing me.”
Jon could understand that. His friend was proud, very proud, and being treated as a cub at twenty-five, when he ought to be the respected, beloved leader of his people, had to be eating away at his soul.
“But you can’t be a human either,” he said gently.
“No.” Cae gave a laugh that was very soft, but very bitter. “Genetic coding doesn’t just go away, does it? I’m a wolf, just like the name says. But I’m going to be a lone wolf, damn it.” His voice sounded harsh, almost as if he were fighting back tears. “I’m invincible. I don’t need anyone. I’m invulnerable, damn it.”
“You’re not, you know. You’re strong and you’re fast, but if one of those gang members pulls a gun on you, you’ll be dead. You know as well as I do that the silver bullet thing is a myth. Yeah, we heal faster than they do, but still, a regular bullet through the heart will kill you just as fast as it’ll kill a human.”
“Like I’m going to let anyone pull a gun on me,” Cae scoffed.
Jon remembered watching the human try to hurt Cae, and realized it was true. Whatever had affected Cae that night… the moonlight, a partial change, hormones… whatever it was had made him strangely powerful. His friend could move so much quicker than any human that he really was pretty damn close to invulnerable—at least on the outside.
But somehow Jon doubted Cae was any more invulnerable on the inside than he’d ever been.
“I know it makes you unhappy to be with the Pack,” he whispered, leaning forward and brushing a gentle kiss over his lips. “But I can’t live without you, Cae. I just can’t. I miss our dinners together. I miss watching movies and human sports with you. I miss texting you every day. Without you, I’m all alone, and it hurts, Cae. Please, please come back to us.”
Cae clenched his eyes shut, and Jon heard a hitch in his breathing, the sound of a strong man struggling to keep tears contained. No matter how tired he was of being different, of being a cub, of being looked down on by the Pack…. he obviously wanted to go home.
Jon let his lips slide over Cae’s, in a gentle, loving caress, and suddenly the other man kissed him ravenously, his lips forcing Jon’s open, his tongue sliding into his mouth, tasting, exploring, demanding. His hand caught a handful of Jon’s hair and held it tightly, and his other hand explored his body, caressing his chest and his stomach and his back until Jon squirmed helplessly.
Cae’s strong hands undressed him, stripping off his tattered shirt, yanking down his jeans, and Jon found himself helping, toeing off his shoes and kicking them aside. Seconds later he was naked from the waist down, the metal of the old junker cool against his ass, the summer air warm against his front. Cae leaned into him, and Jon could feel the other man’s erection growing against his thigh, until it was just as hard and hot as it had been a few minutes ago. He rubbed against it hungrily. Cae growled again, a low, feral sound of desire, and then shoved him over, so that he lay sprawled on his back on the hood of the car.
Cae rose to his feet, pushed his legs apart roughly, and positioned himself between Jon’s spread thighs.
Jon’s eyelids drifted shut as he surrendered. For a breathless moment, he felt the hard, insistent flesh pressing against his body. He was ready, so ready. Their people weren’t quite like humans, despite the physical similarities. They were immune to human diseases, including STDs, and his body produced natural lubrication. So the fact that he had neither a condom nor lube in his pockets wasn’t the problem it would have been for a human.
He lay there, helpless, exposed, and shuddered with need and longing, awaiting the first hard thrust of Caeden’s body.
But nothing happened. He opened his eyes, not without effort, and saw Cae standing there in the moonlight, his head bent, his eyes shut.
“Cae,” he whispered. “You okay?”
“Yeah. I’m okay. But… we can’t.”
Jon’s heart sank in his chest. “Why not?”
“I’m an alpha, Jon. You can’t say no to me. And I can’t… I can’t take advantage of you this way.”
Jon’s heart lifted. As much as he’d worried about Cae, it seemed like the real man was still there, beneath the angry, raging animal. It was like Cae to worry about those in his Pack, and to try to protect them. It was like him to refuse to take advantage.
His friend was still there, beneath the savage animal. He wasn’t lost forever. He could be found again.
Jon hoped like hell he’d be the one to find him.
“If anyone’s taking advantage,” he said, reaching down and putting his hand on Cae’s, “it’s me. You’re an alpha, and you’d never want me, ordinarily. You’re all messed up inside, and I’m—”
“No,” Cae whispered. “You’re what I need. What I’ve always needed. I just never realized it till now.”
Jon’s heart swelled with adoration. “Then don’t worry about it. Do it, Cae.”
Caeden hesitated a moment longer. Then he moved, just a bit, and the head of his cock slid into Jon’s body. It felt enormous, but so damn good. Jon whimpered with need.
“Jon,” Cae whispered. “Jon.”
At the soft, reverent note in the deep voice, Jon opened his eyes and looked up into the other man’s face. His features were shadowed by moonlight, but as Jon stared at him, he saw something glitter on his cheek.
It was a tear.
Chapter 5
Caeden gritted his teeth and blinked hard, forcing back the hot tears that threatened. He was uncomfortably aware one had escaped his control, but he managed to blink the rest of them back.
It was stupid to cry about a normal biological function, he thought. It was stupid to get all emotional about sex. The fact that this was his first time, and that he was doing it with someone who’d always meant a hell of a lot to him, was
totally irrelevant.
He wasn’t a virgin by choice. He knew he was a good-looking guy—alphas weren’t noted for their modesty, and mirrors didn’t lie anyway—but by Pack law and long-established custom, he wasn’t allowed to fuck, even for casual fun, until his first turning. And he’d never turned, which meant he was still a cub in the Pack’s eyes. No one in the Pack would have thought of having sex with him. It just wasn’t done.
And here in the city, he’d looked around quite a lot—oh, yeah, he’d looked, and had discovered that some humans were quite attractive despite their smell—but he hadn’t been able to bring himself to break the taboo, either.
Until now.
So this was his first time, which was probably why he was getting a little emotional. But this wasn’t intimacy or lovemaking—it was just sex. Nothing but pure physical pleasure. He was screwing Jon on the hood of an old car in a junkyard, after all, which was about as unromantic as it could get. He was just using Jon’s body to please himself, not because he was lonely or scared or glad to see him.
He didn’t care about Jon any more. He didn’t care about anyone.
He was invincible, damn it.
The desire for more of Jon’s sweet, hot ass gripped him by the balls, making him ache with need, and he pressed into the other man just a little further. He was cautious not to push too hard, because although their people had natural lubrication, Jon still felt awfully tight. At his shallow, careful thrust, Jon threw his head back, his eyes drifting shut, his back arching like a bow.
Caeden looked down at his friend, seeing the shaggy blond hair rumpled and disheveled, seeing the expression of pleasure, of joy, on his face. Maybe Jon wasn’t model-handsome, yet Caeden thought he could stare at him all night and never get tired of his face. Just looking at him brought back the memories of a happier life, of a time when he’d had friends, a family, a home…
He pushed those thoughts away. He’s just someone to fuck, he told himself firmly, using the crude term deliberately, to remind himself Jon didn’t mean any more to him than anyone else. He was going to screw Jon, get off, and leave. Sex was all he was interested in.
Omegas are made for fucking.
But omegas weren’t meant to be fucked by alphas. He knew that.
And yet Jon looked very vulnerable stretched out on the hood of the old rusted car, so much so that Caeden’s eyes stung again. The alpha inside him longed for a Pack to protect, to guard, to lead. And Jon was his oldest and best friend, a tangible and precious connection to the Pack he’d left behind. He wanted to hold the other man in his sheltering arms, to protect him from the world, so badly it almost hurt.
He blinked hard and pressed into Jon’s yielding flesh a little further, craving the warmth of his body, craving his touch. Jon’s hands closed on his biceps, his fingers gripping hard. He arched his head back further, exposing the tattoo on the side of his throat that marked him an omega, and uttering a long, sobbing cry of pleasure. Jon’s voice sounded very loud in the night, and Caeden was vaguely aware that the sounds he was making were just as loud.
God, Jon was so wet, and so hot, and his sweet omega scent filled Caeden’s head and his body and his soul. The memory of how he’d come in the other man’s mouth, in surge after surge of heat, made him ache with need, and he very much wanted to come inside Jon’s body in another long rush of fire. The thought was so compelling that he could barely resist forcing his way into Jon’s hot body, all the way, and fucking him hard. He managed to resist the impulse, because he wasn’t sure how much experience Jon had, and he didn’t want to hurt him.
Not that they were making love or anything. He was just using Jon’s body to assuage his own needs. But somehow, he couldn’t bring himself to hurt his friend, not even a little.
A flash of memory suddenly surfaced. He remembered the way he’d enjoyed beating up on the gang leader last night, the way he’d enjoyed hearing his bones crunch. He remembered the way he’d thirsted to kill the guy who’d challenged him tonight. It made him wonder why he didn’t want to hurt Jon too.
It was like his old friend’s gentle touch had somehow uncovered the decent core of him, a core that still existed far beneath the callous surface.
He wasn’t too thrilled to realize that somewhere beneath the seething violence and rage that had almost consumed him, there was still decency and kindness and affection. Somewhere deep inside him, the decent guy he’d always been still existed.
And he wanted that decent guy to go the hell away. He was a lone wolf now, and he never intended to go back to his old life in Wolf Green.
Damn it, he thought grimly, this had been a really bad idea. Now he understood why he’d avoided having sex since coming to Crystal City, even though plenty of human men and women had approached him over the past month. It wasn’t just that he’d been uninterested in humans, or that he hadn’t been able to get past the taboos of his people, though those issues had certainly been part of it. It hadn’t even been their weird, off-putting smell.
No, the problem was that sex made a man weak. Sex brought out pathetic, emotional impulses from deep inside him, impulses he’d rather keep locked away behind a heavy steel door with an unbreakable bolt.
Damn it. No matter how much he told himself he was just interested in physical pleasure, that this was just a casual fuck, he couldn’t stop himself from caring about the guy beneath him.
Maybe if it had been a stranger, this would feel different. Less intense. Less profound.
But this was Jon.
He felt Jon’s body clamp down on him, smelled the fragrance of sweat and precome and natural lubrication that made him burn with need, and he couldn’t stop himself, couldn’t hold back. He thrust into the other man hard. Jon lifted his legs, wrapping them around Caeden’s ass, and he sank to the hilt in silken heat. At last, he was all the way inside Jon, their bodies linked together intimately.
Jon cried out and whimpered and clutched at him, and Caeden wanted desperately to keep his distance, emotionally speaking, but somehow he couldn’t.
He lowered his head again and kissed his friend, deeply and passionately.
Chapter 6
Jon moaned at the touch of Cae’s mouth against his. Cae still stood between his legs, while Jon sprawled on his back on the hood of the sports car, with Cae dominating, controlling, as his nature demanded. At first Cae’s lips were soft and gentle, almost hesitant, but Jon’s mouth opened in an automatic response, and all at once Cae was kissing him hard, his tongue thrusting deep.
Cae’s hips flexed, so that Jon felt the powerfully carved muscles of his back rippling beneath his hands, and suddenly his body was moving in Jon’s, sliding in and out of him over and over again, in a steady rhythm that echoed the movements of his tongue.
Making love to Cae, being made love to by him, felt unbelievably good. It was everything Jon had ever dreamed of and more. So much more. Every touch of his hands, every caress of his lips, every movement of his body was somehow magnified far beyond any physical sensation Jon had ever experienced. Heat rushed through his veins and fire scorched his nerves, and he cried out, his body writhing helplessly beneath the onslaught.
The other times he’d had sex, it hadn’t been at all like this. He’d fumbled around with other young wolves, and the usual result had been a quick, clumsy, somewhat painful experience that only lasted a minute or two. Most of his experiences had been far more embarrassing than exciting. He hadn’t found sex to be the transcendent, glorious event he’d fantasized about. It had more often been awkward, messy, and uncomfortable. He’d had one pretty decent experience with an older wolf who was something of an expert on the subject, and that had been fun. But this… this was so much more.
This was far better than any erotic romance he’d ever read.
It was weird. He was the one with sexual experience in his past, but Cae seemed to be the one who knew what he was doing. Jon was pretty sure his friend had never had sex—he’d certainly been a virgin when he left the Pack, t
hough there was no way of knowing what he’d been up to the past month—but he sure as hell wasn’t having any trouble figuring out what to do. His body moved in Jon’s confidently, with an authority and a power that left him breathless. The feel of Cae’s thick, solid erection sliding inside his body, sinking deeply into his aching flesh, drew a helpless cry from Jon with every thrust.
God, it felt so good. His balls ached and his cock throbbed. He needed release, fulfillment, as badly as if he hadn’t climaxed for days. He wanted to feel Cae coming inside him, the hot spurts of his come flooding him…
The thought made his cock quiver and jerk worse than before. Something wild was growing inside him, something so primitive and fierce and feral he couldn’t struggle against it. He could only surrender to it.
The intensity of his reaction, the strangeness of it, worried him. Maybe he’d been wrong. Maybe it wasn’t just hormones and frustration driving Cae. What if there was something really wrong, like a disease, something that he could pass on to other members of the Pack? He remembered Cae’s savage snarl as he attacked the gang member, the way he’d seemed to derive a vicious pleasure from fighting, the way he’d cheerfully talked about killing the guy and clearly enjoyed the notion.
What if he was passing his rage and violence on to Jon?
Jon imagined himself going wild on the streets of Crystal City, fighting and hurting and perhaps killing, and enjoying it, and a cold panic gripped him, a fear of the darkly sensual transformation he could feel pulsing inside his body.
He’d intended to try to pull Cae back from the brink, and instead he was falling over the edge with him.
But he couldn’t fight the heat swirling in his blood. Every stroke of Cae’s body inside him, every touch of his hands, made his nerves sing. Cae’s cock moved inside him, hot and commanding and intensely dominant, and it felt so good, so perfect, that his legs wrapped around Cae’s ass more securely. He let himself give in, let his hips rise up to meet the demanding thrusts.
