A Bottle Full of Djinn

by Paula Lester

  “No, but I know I can do it. I went to culinary school for a couple semesters.”

  The coffee maker beeped and Zoey got up to refill her mug. The first two cups had taken the edge off her fatigue, and she was starting to feel almost normal again. “You didn’t finish school?”

  Ashley shook her head. “I ran out of money. But I was doing pretty well and getting good grades before that happened.”

  Zoey glanced at Steve again. He made puppy dog eyes at her. Clearly, he wanted Ashley to stay, and Zoey didn’t have a good reason to say no. “Steve explained to you that this will be a trial situation for a couple weeks, right?”

  Ashley smiled brightly. “Yes. No problem.”

  Zoey nodded and headed for the door. “Okay, then. Welcome to the team. You can use Susan’s old suite once she comes and gets her stuff out of it. Steve, will you show her where it is?”

  Steve beamed. “Yeah, no problem.”

  “Great. I’m going to do a walkabout and make sure everything’s looking good around the place this morning. I’ll be back in a few minutes for breakfast.” She paused at the doorway and said over her shoulder, “Let’s all hope today is less . . . eventful . . . than yesterday.”

  She passed Ester in the hall. The sweet woman said, “Any chance Susan will make cake today, do you think?”

  Zoey smiled. “We have a new chef. Her name is Ashley, and I don’t know what her plans are, but you could ask her about cake. She’s making eggs and bacon right now.” She patted Ester’s arm. “Did you sleep okay? There was some noise in the middle of the night, and I was concerned that everyone might be disturbed.”

  “Noise? No, dear, I don’t remember hearing anything. I put my headphones on and listen to Frank Sinatra to fall asleep. It must have blocked out whatever you’re talking about.”

  “That’s good.” Zoey continued down the hallway, thinking wryly to herself that she should start sleeping with headphones on too. Unfortunately, it was her job to jump out of bed and chase ghosts at two in the morning so her residents could get their beauty sleep.”

  The big common room was nearly empty. Only Travis sat there, in the same armchair she’d left him sleeping in the night before. Zoey glanced toward Kelli’s office. Someone had swept up the salt in the doorway, but Kelli wasn’t behind her desk yet.

  “What do you intend to do about last night?” Travis demanded.

  She jumped a fraction of an inch. She hadn’t realized he was awake. The thin hair on top of his head was wild, and his clothes looked rumpled. Zoey crossed to sit on the loveseat across from him and took a sip of coffee before she answered him. “Everything’s all set. Bob helped the ghost cross over, and there’s nothing more to be done.” She offered the miserly man a smile, hoping it would diffuse his irritation.

  But he glared at her. “I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about how I’ll be compensated from my troubles for yesterday and the sleep I lost during the night.”

  Zoey blinked. “Compensated?”

  “My bill for the month should be lowered.” Travis crossed his arms and lifted his chin. “Take two hundred off.”

  She pursed her lips and then took another sip of coffee, trying to give herself time to think and beat back the irritation his demand had brought surging to the surface. Travis was always trying to get money out of the retirement home. For someone who claimed he had a huge vault full of riches, he sure didn’t like to spend money. Of course, he also said he couldn’t remember where the vault was. Zoey had never believed the story, exactly, but as she studied his face, she caught a glimpse of something there she hadn’t noticed before. There was an insecurity in his eyes. Almost a pleading look.

  Maybe he and his kids really didn’t have enough money to keep up with the bills. Well, as annoying as Travis could be, she wasn’t going to let him worry about whether or not he’d be kicked out.

  “I’ll tell you what,” she said, keeping her tone firm so Travis wouldn’t realize she had softened. “I’ll take that two hundred dollars off this month’s fees if you do something for me.”

  Relief flooded the elderly man’s face, but he hid it quickly, replacing it with a look of indignation. “Why should I do anything further? I’m the one who was inconvenienced. You should be begging me to stay and keep my money flowing into this place.”

  “You’re right. And we do want you to stay. But, you know I don’t own this place. If I give you a discount, I’m going to have to explain it to my higher-ups. If you perform a job for me, I can just tell them it was a payment.”

  Travis narrowed his eyes. “Well, I don’t know. What do you want me to do?”

  “Our new Social Director needs some help at game night this weekend. She’s having trouble thinking of things the residents would like to do.”

  The man nodded, wisps of hair flying around the top of his head. “Yes, that’s obvious.”

  “Could you come up with a few things? Maybe ask the others what they’d like to do and report back to Miss Close? Just don’t tell her I asked you to do it. Present it as though you’re simply offering some unsolicited ideas. Maybe five or six things. And be nice.” Zoey finished the coffee in her mug and set it on the end table next to her. “What do you say? An afternoon’s work interviewing your friends for two hundred dollars off this month?”

  Travis squinted as though trying to see through a trick Zoey might be pulling. She did her best to keep her expression serene and pleasant. Finally, he sighed and nodded. “I’ll see what I can come up with.” He pushed himself out of the chair, his back remaining slightly bent once he was up. “I really can’t let myself fall asleep in a chair anymore at my age. I’ll be walking crooked for a week now,” he grumbled as he headed toward the hallway leading to the kitchen.

  “Thank you!” Zoey called after him, chuckling to herself.

  Kelli plopped down on the loveseat next to her. “Hey. I want to apologize for getting upset last night.”

  “When the ghost broke your picture? That’s understandable.”

  The receptionist frowned. “It’s just that I haven’t seen my parents in a while, so it upset me to see it fall and the frame break.”

  “Where are they?” Zoey asked softly.

  Kelli shrugged. “They went traveling around the world a year or so ago. I guess Sunnyside got too small for them.” She stood up. “I’d better get to work. Hey, let’s hope we aren’t invaded by scary donkeys today.”

  Zoey giggled and stood, grabbing her coffee cup and heading back toward the kitchen. She could smell the bacon, and her mouth started watering. Many of the residents appeared to have followed their noses to the kitchen too. For a second, Zoey felt a bit nervous. Susan would have been flustered and crabby if a bunch of people crammed themselves into her kitchen before she called them to a meal. But she relaxed when she caught sight of Ashley. The new cook had an easy smile on her face. She was interacting with the residents as though she’d known them forever. When Howie nabbed a piece of bacon out of a bowl, she didn’t slap his hand like Susan would have. Instead, she gave him a huge smile and held another piece out to him.

  Zoey crossed her arms and leaned against the doorframe, the coffee mug dangling from her fingertips. The previous day had been extremely challenging, and having the chef stomp out was worrisome, but if Ashley worked out to be the kind of employee it appeared she would be, it was all worth it.

  She stirred when she felt someone enter the doorway next to her and glanced over at Shawna. “Good morning. The new chef made bacon and eggs.”

  “I can see that,” Shawna snapped. The elderly woman moved forward but instead of stopping to chat with anyone, she walked straight through the kitchen and into the dining room.

  Zoey sighed. She wished Shawna was happier at the retirement home. Then she had an idea. She crossed to the bar where Travis sat drinking coffee. Leaning close to him, she said, “Make sure to ask Shawna Belle if there’s something she wants to do at game night. Put whatever she says on the list you give t
o Miss Close.”

  Travis glared at her but he nodded before taking a big gulp of coffee.

  Feeling a little better about the Shawna situation, Zoey straightened up and grabbed a plate. She couldn’t wait another minute to chow down.

  She was busy all day, but it was a more normal kind of busy than the previous day’s antics. Still, there were a few strange incidents that left her scratching her head. First, Maria came to her complaining that her makeup had all dried up and turned to colorful dust. She was ready to blow the complaint off, thinking maybe the makeup was really old and Maria had forgotten. But when she followed the retiree into her suite and looked at it, she found that the various compacts actually held tiny colored stones.

  After she’d asked Kelli to take Maria out to get new makeup, Zoey heard a banging noise. “Not again.” She hurried through the complex, following the noise while praying there wasn’t another ghost loose. But the sound was coming from the basement. As she started to descend into the darkness, Ashley appeared at the top of the staircase behind her. “It’s the pipes,” she said. “Whenever I try to run the dishwasher, that banging starts up.”

  Relieved, Zoey hurried back up the stairs and closed the door. “I’ll call Pete. He’s a great plumber—I bet he’ll get it sorted it out in no time.”

  After Zoey hung up with Pete, her cell phone rang almost immediately. She thought maybe the plumber had forgotten to tell her something and answered without checking the screen.

  “Please tell me I’m going to get to take my girlfriend out tonight.”

  Zoey grinned and went into her office, closing the door behind her. “You can if you don’t mind bringing me home at a decent hour,” she said to her boyfriend. “I didn’t get a good night’s sleep last night.”

  Doug chuckled. “Residents causing a ruckus?”

  “We actually had a ghost. It was crazy. But I’d love to go out with you. What time?” Zoey twirled a piece of hair around her finger.

  “How about around six? We can go to Chow’s for burgers and then over to the theater. It’s live comedy night.”

  “That sounds amazing. I could use a good laugh.” She rested her head back on the chair. “In the meantime, I think I’m going to hide in my office for a while.”

  “You’re going to take a nap, aren’t you?”

  Zoey sighed deeply. “I’m sure going to try.”

  She could hear the smile in his voice when he wished her luck and told her he’d pick her up at six. Zoey moved to the loveseat and fell asleep almost as soon as she kicked her shoes off and lay down.

  She slept for a solid two hours, and when she woke up, she couldn’t believe she’d been left alone that long. But she felt great. She stood up, took ten minutes to do some stretching, and put her shoes back on.

  When she opened her office door, it was suddenly clear why no one had disturbed her. Someone—her money was on Steve—had put a folding sign for a wet floor in front of her office with a piece of paper taped to the front that said, “Do not disturb for any reason. Our fearless leader needs a rest.”

  She propped the sign against the wall and headed down the hallway. Stopping at the kitchen, she grabbed a bottle of water out of the refrigerator and then went upstairs to her suite.

  Zoey spent the next forty-five minutes getting ready for her date with Doug. She took extra time with her hair and makeup and put on a knee-length red dress with a v-neck and nude pumps. She stuck some lipstick, her ID, and a credit card into a sparkly silver clutch and went downstairs.

  A low whistle greeted her when her foot hit the bottom step, and she glanced toward the common room to see Steve seated at a table near the window overlooking the backyard. He was playing checkers with Howie, who gaped at Zoey like a fish out of water. She gave the men a little curtsy and grinned.

  “Where are you heading to all glammed up?” Steve asked.

  “Out with Doug for burgers and fries.” She laughed at the absurdity of eating at what she was pretty convinced was the world’s greasiest diner in such fancy clothes.

  “Have a good time. I’ll hold down the fort here. Ha! King me, Howie!”

  The thin-armed fitness guru glanced at the checkerboard and pushed his sweatband out of his eyes. “How’d you do that?”

  “I jumped two of your pieces.”

  Zoey smiled at Howie’s exaggerated look of exasperation and went outside to wait for Doug on the sidewalk. She admired Cyrus’s handiwork on the landscaping in the center of the loop drive. It was impossible to tell that anything had been trampled during the crazy smoke alarm incident the day before.

  Doug pulled up, right on time, and jumped out of the car to come around and open the passenger side door for her. He gave her a peck on the cheek when she arrived next to him. “Mmm, you smell good,” he said.

  “Thanks. I took a shower.” Zoey chuckled and climbed into the BMW. She wasn’t exactly sure what Doug did for a living. They’d only been dating for about six months, and if he’d told her what his job was on their first date, she couldn’t remember. As time had gone by without her getting clarification, it had reached a point where she was way too embarrassed to ask him. She was constantly on the lookout for clues about what he did.

  “I’m starving. I didn’t have time for lunch today.” Doug’s arm muscles flexed as he pulled the car around the loop driveway.

  “That’s terrible! What was going on?” Zoey held her breath while she waited for his answer, hoping it would be the clue she needed to determine what the handsome guy did for a living.

  “Just a ton of phone calls. Lots of clients needing their hands held on different things. By the time I came up for air, the day was over.”

  Disappointed the answer didn’t tell her anything about what Doug did for a living, Zoey glanced out the window. It was a lovely day, and people were walking, biking, and rollerblading around town, smiling at and chatting with one another. It made her feel content and at home to see her friends and neighbors interacting. “We got a new chef. She made sushi for lunch, and it was delicious.”

  Doug sent her a sharp look. “You have a new chef who knows how to make sushi?”

  Zoey nodded and grinned.

  “Huh. I think I’ll be trying to find time to swing by the retirement complex for lunch as often as I can from now on.”

  “You totally should! Ashley is a fantastic cook. And much nicer than Susan the grump.” She felt a tiny stab of guilt for the name-calling, but it really was nice not to have to deal with the ex-chef’s attitude anymore.

  Doug pulled into a parking spot at a tiny diner just outside of Sunnyside and went around the car to open Zoey’s door for her. He helped her out and then kissed her hand before tucking it into the crook of his arm. He led her into Chow’s, and they seated themselves.

  After they had gorged on the greasiest burgers and fries ever, they walked across the street to the quaint little theater called Sunnyside Players Group. “Improv night tonight, right? Remember when Geoff got up there and did that riff about how difficult it is for people to answer the paper or plastic question at the grocery store?” Zoey started laughing at the memory. “I couldn’t believe how funny he was.”

  “It was hard to believe Geoff had it in him,” Doug agreed, greeting the doorman and then crossing over to the ticket booth.

  Once they got inside the theater, they found seats near the stage and sat chatting until the lights went down.

  A short, bald man with round glasses and a black suit made entirely of leather entered the stage and pulled the microphone down to his level. He cleared his throat, and when the audience quieted, announced that he was Chris Collins and it was open mic improvisation night at the Players Group. “Who’d like to come up and give us all a good laugh?” he boomed, holding a hand over his eyes to shield them from the spotlight beam. His head glistened with sweat. “Come on! I know someone out there is a budding comedian or comedienne just waiting to have your bust-out performance. We have talent scouts in the audience, you kno
w. That’s right—they’re plain clothed, so to speak. You’ll never know who they are until they contact you and offer you a headliner show in Vegas! Ah! Here we go.”

  Chris handed the microphone to a middle-aged man in jeans and a short-sleeved shirt who did a five-minute skit on why fast food restaurants should serve gourmet food on linens and real plates. It got a few chuckles, but the crowd didn’t seem too impressed, and he shuffled back off the stage with some extra color in his cheeks.

  Doug leaned over. “You should go up there, Zo. Talk about some of your experiences at work. I mean, nothing’s funnier than real life, right? Especially when you deal with retired witches all day.”

  Zoey shook her head, pretty sure Doug was joking anyway.

  But Chris had noticed the exchange, and he walked to the edge of the stage and leaned toward them. “Do you have some jokes you’d like to share with us, young lady?” He peered at her through his round glasses.

  “No. Nope. I sure don’t.” Zoey tried to laugh it off, but Chris raised his eyebrows and glanced at Doug.

  Her traitor boyfriend stood and held his hand out to her. “She does have some great stories,” he insisted.

  She widened her eyes at him and looked around. The place wasn’t too crowded. And it only ever drew a magical crowd, so she’d be free to tell the real stories of Sunnyside Retired Witches Community. She squirmed uncomfortably in her seat.

  “Come on, young lady. Give it a try. We promise not to be too hard on you.” Chris leaned back and waved an arm expansively at the crowd. “Don’t we?”

  Cheers and affirmatives went up, and Zoey squirmed again. She didn’t really have a fear of public speaking, but she hadn’t done much of it since she’d had to in high school. And debate club wasn’t exactly comedy. She had no idea if she could actually be funny.

  But Doug was staring at her, a slight grin on his face as he continued to hold his hand out to her. And Chris was staring at her. Probably because he had no other likely suspects to get up on the stage. Actually, everyone in the audience was staring at her. They probably didn’t want to be chosen to go up themselves. They were all traitors just like Doug.