The Zee Brothers Vol.1 & 2 Box Set [Zombie Exterminators]

by Grivante

  “It’s getting awfully foggy out.”

  Jonah stopped binding Larry’s wrists and looked over at his brother.

  “Zombie fog?”

  “Thick as spleen soup.”

  “Crap, they’re gonna be popping up all over this development trying to reclaim their amulet.” Jonah tied off his knot. Larry was now tied in a harness with his hands bound behind him.

  Ring-Ring!

  Jonah reached around to his back pocket and pulled out a battered flip phone. “Zee Brothers.”

  A shattering crash erupted from the speaker followed by a scream. “Hello? Hello?” A woman’s voice called out.

  “This is Jonah Zee ma’am, what can I do for you?”

  “Jonah, this is JJ.” Blam! A blast sounded through the speaker. “We met a little bit ago.”

  “Yeah JJ, I couldn’t forget you.”

  Judas’s attention perked up and he leaned in, trying to hear the conversation.

  “Well thank you. Glad to hear I’m not forgettable.”

  “Not in the least.”

  “Tell her I remember her too!” Judas said next to him.

  Blam! Blam!

  “JJ are you okay?”

  “Well, no, not really. By the time I got back to Uncle Arnie’s I was being followed. Those things are everywhere!”

  “Zombies?”

  “Yeah, there’s a bunch milling around in the backyard and more trying to come through the house.”

  Blam! Blam! Blam!

  “Where are you?”

  “We’re in the living room. My uncle’s house is at 1012 Lancaster St.”

  “Get to high ground, somewhere you can defend. We’re on our way!” Jonah turned and headed for the front door. “Let’s go.”

  “What’s happening?”

  “It’s started, they’ve summoned the tribe.”

  “What about Larry?”

  “Leave him, he’s harmless. We’ll come back for him later.”

  “What about the catch pole?”

  “Leave it too. We’ll come back later. This isn’t time for catch and release. We’re gonna need DeeDee!”

  “DeeDee?” Judas jumped a little as he said it, smiling.

  “Yeah,” Jonah nodded. “You get her mounted, I’ll drive.”

  Outside, the fog clung to the ground in thick tendrils that moved and shifted. It grew dense, limiting their vision to about fifty feet. Judas hopped into the back of the truck, swung a large mounting brace up and pushed it into position. Then, with a big wide grin, he opened the large box which rested directly behind the cab of the truck.

  The polished steel of the twelve barrel, hundred caliber machine gun the brothers affectionately called DeeDee sparkled in the street light. Capable of delivering baseball sized holes into solid steel at the rate of one hundred rounds per second, the brothers’ custom made version included a single shot burst controller, requiring a second trigger to be pulled for each shot. Otherwise they would run out of ammo before they could even let up on the trigger.

  Sasha roared to life and then ground to a sputter.

  “Fuck!” Jonah yelled out the window.

  “What is it?”

  “The damn clutch kicked me outta first gear again. We need to get that fixed.”

  Sasha started back up and Jonah rammed the shifter into first.

  “Hold on! This might be a rough ride.”

  “Don’t you want me to get the gun mounted?”

  “Crap,” Jonah took his foot off the clutch and pushed down on the brake. “Hurry up, Judas! Things didn’t sound good with JJ.”

  Judas hefted the gun; it weighed near two hundred pounds and his arms bulged at the strain. He groaned and dropped it down on the mount.

  Pop! Pop!

  “Did you hear that, Jonah?”

  “Yeah, sounded like small arms fire. That could be JJ. Is that thing on yet?”

  “Almost, almost.” Judas shoved the gun forward until it clicked and then started counting off locking pins under his breath as he pushed them into place. “...ten, eleven, twelve!” He double checked them, making sure he’d got them all. He’d learned his lesson. The last thing you wanted was a high caliber machine gun flying free of its mount while firing at the zombie horde chasing you. “Ok, we’re green, go, go!”

  Jonah shoved the gear shift forward into first and slipped the clutch out. Sasha lurched forward then spit it back out of gear. Jonah looked down at the Magic 8-ball knob. In the little window, the words ‘Ask again later’ appeared.

  Jonah shook his head, pushed the gear into first and as soon as the truck moved an inch he popped it into second. The tires screeched and the gears ground but Sasha started rolling.

  All around them the fog grew thicker. Forms, real and imagined, took shape. Screams were coming from throughout the development. The number of dead was growing.

  Part VI - The Hembrooks

  Lancaster street was two blocks over from Mr. Pembleton’s. The thickness of the fog kept Jonah from going any faster than thirty. On the way there, they passed the gated entrance, a group of about twenty zombies were smashed against it. More were heading in that direction. Jonah stopped the truck with the bed facing the gate.

  “Judas, thin that herd. We don’t want them busting outta here.”

  “Yes, sir!” Judas replied and turned the barrel of the gun towards the zombies at the gate. He pulled the first trigger which set the barrel spinning. He loved the sound of it whirring, but loved what came next even more. “Yeehaw!” He pulled the second trigger.

  Whoomp! Whoomp! Whoomp!

  The giant slugs shot from the rotating barrels and splattered zombie flesh like watermelons at a Gallagher show. The gun thundered and boomed as Judas grinned. It rained red chunks and as they fell, a loud clanking began, followed by sparks from around the gate.

  Jonah stuck his head out the window to see what was happening. “Stop, Judas! Stop!” he yelled and then honked Sasha’s horn as he knew his brother would never hear his shouts over the sound of the gun. The clanking outside turned to a wrenching sound before the gun’s barrel stopped spinning.

  “Oh shit,” Judas said.

  The zombies, most of them anyway, were dead or in pieces, but so was the gate. The bullets had torn it to shreds and half of it fell on to the pavement with an echoing clang.

  “I’m sorry, Jonah.”

  “Don’t worry about it, we just gotta find that amulet and shut this down quick.”

  He did his first gear to second gear trick with the clutch and got Sasha moving again. First gear was shot and second wasn’t sounding much better.

  The little cube in the window of the 8-ball shifter read, ‘Outlook not so good’. Jonah didn’t see it.

  The number of dead lumbering about increased as they neared the address that JJ had given them. Some were walking toward the gate, others toward the residence. Mostly, they were old shambling native corpses but more and more freshly infected seemed to be among their number.

  Jonah checked the fresh faces as they passed to see if they were too late. In front of the Hembrooks’ house, zombies milled about, climbing through the shattered front window or pawing near the door.

  Jonah swung Sasha around and slipped the truck into reverse which, unlike first and now second, seemed to be working just fine. He pointed the bed toward the front of the house.

  “Clear me a path Judas, but don’t hit the house!”

  “You got it brother!”

  The whirring of DeeDee spinning up was followed by the whump of her slugs. A few short seconds later, Judas shouted. “All clear!”

  Flashes of gunfire showed in the upstairs windows of the house. Jonah jumped out of the truck, a gun in each hand. “You got your shotgun?”

  Judas spat a dark blob of chew. “Yeah, I got my boomstick!”

  Shaking his head, Jonah laughed at his brother. “Ok, Ash! Thin out the walkers coming up the road and then grab your shotgun and meet me upstairs.”

  “On it.�
�� Judas grinned and swiveled the big gun toward the largest group of dead coming their way and opened fire.

  Jonah stepped onto the porch. Bones and rotted flesh were everywhere. Some of the dead were still alive, their brains intact but their bodies in pieces. One, a head and a still attached shoulder lay, moaning, in the remains of the doorway. Like most of the rest of the front of the house, the door was littered with baseball sized holes and in the case of the door, it had been blown off its hinges. A fancy silver etched name plate, spelling ‘The Hembrooks’ lay broken in two. Something told Jonah that Mr. Hembrook would be none too happy about it. He stepped into the foyer, placing his boot on the head of the moaning zombie and squishing it.

  Inside, the home was utter chaos. Most of the furnishings were in pieces, whether that was from the zombie masses or the machine gun he couldn’t tell. Bodies were everywhere. This was definitely a hotspot for them. Hopefully it was ‘the hotspot’ and they could find the amulet, return it to its sacred place and put the dead to rest.

  He could see in the kitchen and through to the backyard from where he stood. At least two dozen native dead were out back and a handful stood in the kitchen. All of them had their red glowing eyes pointed in his direction.

  “Oh crap.”

  He looked up the staircase leading away from the kitchen, sounds of zombies moving around echoed down. He hoped there was still someone alive up there.

  “Zee Brother’s Zombie Exterminators coming up. Don’t shoot.” Most of his words were drowned out as DeeDee spun up outside. He holstered Brutus and pulled a flashlight from his belt and held it and his smaller handgun at the ready. At the top of the stairs he clicked the flashlight off after making a quick sweep. Six shapes at the end of the hall, scratching at a door. Good news, someone at least was alive on the other side. He’d have to be careful though, to make sure no shots went astray.

  He put the flashlight away, slipped a small cigar from his pocket and lit it. He took a long deep pull, relishing the hot smoke as it wrapped around his tongue. He turned his head to blow it out and it caught at the back of his throat, he coughed. A dozen sets of eyes in the kitchen glared up the stairs at him and started moving. With a chorus of grunts and groans, the ones at the end of the hall turned and headed in his direction as well.

  He bit down on the cigar, so that he wouldn’t lose it and pulled Brutus from his holster, trying to slip the lighter into his pocket at the same time, but it missed and fell unnoticed to the floor. He had six shots in Brutus, twelve in the handgun extra ammo in his pockets, but no time to reload if it became necessary.

  Outside, DeeDee thundered.

  Jonah walked down the hall toward the door and the zombies. Close quarters made for hard-to-miss shots. The zombies moved in and he aimed for their heads. Blam! He kept moving. Blam! The guns roared and the zombies slumped away, falling in quick succession. A glance behind him showed that the others were rounding the top of the stairs. He slammed his fist against the door.

  “This is Jonah, from Zee Brothers’ Zombie Exterminators. Please open the door.”

  He turned and put his back to the door, raised his guns and waited. The butt of the cigar was soaked in his mouth, but he sucked the smoke through it anyway. The group before him grew uncomfortably close before he heard the click behind him and felt the cool breeze created by the door opening. He fired two shots, taking down the closest zombies and causing the others to stumble over their corpses.

  Spinning around, he found JJ standing in the open doorway. Xanadu barked in a corner near the windows.

  “Get in quick!” She moved out of the way and slammed the door shut once he was through. “Here,” she motioned toward a large wood dresser, “help me move this.”

  Jonah took in the rest of the room as he moved to help her. A woman in her early fifties lay on a small bed. The bedspread covered in wet, brownish-red stains. A large man of the same age sat on the bed next to her, holding her hand and wiping sweat from her brow.

  “You’ll be ok Marybelle, we’ll get you to a doctor soon.”

  Part VII - The Ego and The Amulet

  Outside it had grown quiet; DeeDee was no longer firing.

  Jonah shoved the dresser against the door just as the thud and scratching of zombie bodies connected on the other side. “What happened to your wife, Mr. Hembrook?”

  “Nothing. She’s fine. Just one of those things bit her.”

  “She’s been bitten?”

  “Yeah, it barely tore the skin though, she’ll be fine. We just need to get her to my doctor friend; he’s the best doctor in town.”

  Jonah took a deep breath and reloaded his guns.

  Mr. Hembrook continued. “He just built that brand new building next to the St. Augustyne Cathedral, it’s the most expensive building in town. We go over there all the time for dinner parties on the roof. He—“

  “Sir, there’s no easy way to tell you this. If she’s been bitten, she’s infected. She’s going to become one of them.”

  The man’s expression didn’t change. “She’ll be fine. Dr. MacDonald went to Harvard. He could’ve cured cancer if the government and pharmaceutical companies hadn’t threatened his family.”

  Jonah took in another deep breath but this time, he didn’t know what to say. Luckily, JJ spoke up.

  “What’s happening out there, Jonah?”

  He looked at her, thankful for a subject he knew how to deal with. “It’s a zombie curse. This area was built atop the Pakitini tribal lands. Someone must’ve disturbed one of their artifacts, which raised their priests from the dead. The priests in turn have called forth all of their Pakitini ancestors from their graves to help them reclaim it.”

  “What is it they are looking for?”

  “Some sort of amulet, as far as we have been able to figure.”

  A pair of loud booms shook the house as Judas’s shotgun blasted outside. Jonah ran to the window, his brother stood in the bed of the truck, bodies littering the ground around him. Smoke drifted from DeeDee’s barrel, but more and more dead walked from every dark recess around, making their way toward the house.

  Jonah shoved the window up, it opened onto the slated roof over the entry way.

  “Judas, what’s your sitch?”

  Judas turned at the sound of his brother’s voice. “DeeDee’s out bro, we gotta move!”

  Jonah spun around. “We gotta get down there, fast.”

  “I’m not leaving Marybelle,” Mr. Hembrook said and stood up, sticking out his chest as he did so.

  Jonah didn’t bother to argue. “Fine, you carry her. When she turns and bites you, I’m shooting you both in the head.”

  Mr. Hembrook’s face turned red and he started to rage, but Jonah ignored him and looked at JJ, who scooped Xanadu up into her arms.

  “Get out on the roof. We’ll have to clear a path and make a run for it.”

  She nodded. “But what about the amulet? Where is it and what needs to be done with it?”

  “Where it is I don’t know, but once we find it, it has to be returned to where it came from.”

  Mr. Hembrook shouted louder, trying to bluster over them.

  “Do you have any ideas?” JJ asked.

  “Well, they seem to like it here an awful lot. That means something.”

  “Wait,” she stopped just short of ducking out the window, her leather coat draped over her arm.

  “Uncle Arnie, didn’t you just finish some landscaping?”

  He stopped his blustering and pointing at Jonah and said, “Yes, we just planted a row of Peruvian Torches, they are an exotic cactus, you know? It’s said they have magical healing properties. They cost us a fortune, but I still got them for half price compared to what anyone else would pay from my friend—“

  “Do you remember digging anything up?” Jonah interrupted.

  Mr. Hembrook stopped. “There was a pile of old bones in a canvas sack. People find old Indian bones around here all the time. So what?”

  “What did you do wi
th them?” Jonah asked.

  “I threw them in the trash.”

  “Did you look in the sack? Do you remember seeing an amulet in there?”

  “It was just junk, bones and stuff so I tossed them, they’re all over the place. I didn’t want a pack of mangy mutts digging up my new landscaping to a get a chew toy.”

  Boom!

  Jonah glanced out the window again. A stream of zombies was pouring across the front yard, right where they needed to jump down.

  “How long ago was this?” Jonah looked around the room for something that might help them get out. On the night stand a crystal decanter full of brown liquid caught his eye.

  “It was over the weekend,” Mr. Hembrook answered.

  “And when do they pick up the trash?”

  “Yesterday. They pick it up on Mondays. We had a special city council meeting just to make sure they picked up our trash after the weekends when we’ve done all—, hey, don’t touch that, you hick!”

  Jonah had grabbed the bottle and was carrying it towards the dresser, which was now rocking from the pressure on the other side of the door.

  “That’s one hundred year old scotch! It was imported by Elystrium Liquors, I know the owner and he always gives me the best deals, but it’s still very expensive.”

  Jonah pulled open a drawer, it was filled with cotton granny panties. He went to close it and open another when two blasts from Judas’s shotgun made him think better of taking any longer than necessary. He grabbed a pair from the top and shoved them in the neck of the bottle, then turned it upside down.

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Mr. Hembrook stormed forward, waving the pointer finger of his large right hand in the air like a sausage. “Get out of Marybelle’s knickers!”

  “Aarghhh,” a groan came from behind Mr. Hembrook.

  They all froze, but before anyone could do anything to stop her, Marybelle rose up and sunk her zombiefied teeth into her husband’s meaty shoulder blade. Crimson liquid spurted forth, soaking the white fabric of his t-shirt.

  JJ screamed from the window.

  Jonah closed his eyes, shook his head, then opened them again, Brutus raised up in his free hand.