Getting Even

by Claude Bouchard

  He made small talk with Roberta and considered offering her a first drink while they waited but decided against it, unsure how quickly his cocktail mix would take effect. There was no sense in having April come out of the bathroom to find her friend writhing in pain. He would wait until after he too had showered before moving forward with his plan.

  He went out to the Escalade to get his overnight bag and April and Roberta had traded places upon his return. His attempts to chat with her proved a bit more successful this time, the hike perhaps having helped pull her out of her shell. Before too long, Roberta was out with a small armful of wet clothing destined for the porch railing in order to leave the bathroom unencumbered for William.

  He showered quickly, anxious and excited that the true purpose of their trip was about to begin. Barely five minutes after entering the bathroom, he was done and returning to his guests, and a welcome surprise. Roberta and April were seated at the table in the dining area, each with a tall, half-full glass of his lime concoction before them.

  “Hey, Allan,” Roberta called with a grin. “Sorry for not waiting for you but we were thirsty and weren’t sure if the water here was good to drink.”

  “No apologies necessary, my dear,” William assured her. “I did, after all, bring it for you.”

  “But you’re gonna join us for a toast, right?” said Roberta.

  “I have a strict rule about not drinking when I drive,” William replied with a shake of the head.

  “Aww, come on,” Roberta insisted. “One little drink won’t change nothing. Anyway, it’s not like we’re about to hit the road.”

  William shrugged with indifference. “I’m sorry but you won’t change my mind.”

  “You’re loss, buddy,” said Roberta with a shrug of her own. “This stuff is great.”

  April giggled and said, “It’ll be more for us,” before knocking back the remainder of her glass.

  “I’ll drink to that,” Roberta replied then emptied her own glass.

  “Bartender,” said April in a deep voice. “Another round for me and my friend here.”

  Roberta chuckled as she reached for the open jug and refilled the two highball glasses to the brim.

  “I’m pleased to see you two enjoying yourselves,” said William.

  “We’re having a great time,” Roberta confirmed as she raised her glass. “To our host.”

  April stood with her glass high in the air and repeated, “To our host!” then took another healthy swallow of her drink.

  “You’ve certainly livened up, young lady,” William remarked.

  “Give this one a good workout and a couple of drinks and she’s a party animal,” said Roberta.

  “Awoooooo!” April howled as she winked at William.

  “I have been warned,” William replied before glancing at his watch. “It’s a bit after two now. Will you ladies be ready for some lunch soon?”

  “You betcha, baby,” April exclaimed. “I’m starving.”

  “Excellent,” William approved. “It won’t be long.”

  “Can we help with something?” Roberta asked.

  “No, that’s fine,” said William. “You just relax and enjoy your drinks and I’ll have everything ready before you know it.”

  “Aw, such a gentleman,” said Roberta.

  “He is soooo sweet,” April agreed.

  After turning on the oven, William opened the cooler and pulled out a bag of corn chips and a large plastic container of salsa which he brought to the table.

  “Snacks while you wait,” he said. “Help yourself.”

  “Thank you, Allan,” said Roberta, ripping open the chip bag while April removed the lid from the bowl of salsa.

  “This is great,” April approved before shoving a few chips dripping with salsa into her mouth.

  Allan returned to the cooler and pulled the quesadillas and empanadas, both in foil-covered disposable pans and ready to warm in the oven. Next came the container of chili which he emptied into a pot he found in a cupboard to heat on the range top. As he worked, he glanced at the two women as they devoured the corn chips, and more importantly, the killer salsa. Though pleased with their enthusiasm, he was becoming a little troubled with the absence of any apparent physical effects of their poison consumption to date.

  As if in response to his worries, Roberta suddenly groaned and clutched her stomach.

  “What’s wrong?” asked April with concern.

  “Nasty cramp,” Roberta grunted, rising a bit unsteadily to her feet. “I better go to the bathroom.”

  She trotted into the living area, stumbling some along the way before disappearing into the hallway leading to the bathroom.

  “Is everything okay?” William asked with feigned unease.

  “I hope so,” April replied anxiously. “She said she has cramps.”

  “It might be due to drinking on an empty stomach,” William suggested. “The food will be ready soon and maybe eating something will help settle things down.”

  “Maybe,” said April. “I hope so because I don’t want her to be sick.”

  “Certainly not,” William agreed, returning to the stove. “I’ll turn up the chili to heat it more quickly. You ladies can start with that while the rest warms in the oven.”

  Several more minutes went by as they waited, exchanging worried glances until they heard the flushing of the toilet followed by the bathroom door opening.

  “Are you okay?” April asked Roberta emerged from the hallway and headed back to the dining area.

  “Holy crap, and I mean it,” Roberta exclaimed with a huge grin. “I don’t know if it’s this stuff we’re drinking or the chips and salsa but something cleaned my pipes out. I think I just lost ten pounds. Do NOT go in there!”

  April exploded with laughter as Roberta sat back down, refilled their glasses and said, “Allan, I hope that food is ready soon because I’m running on empty now.”

  “Maybe you’re running on fumes,” April teased as she sniffed the air.

  “You go take a whiff in that bathroom, girl,” Roberta countered. “You’ll see what real fumes smell like.”

  “The important thing is that you feel better,” William lied, interrupting their flatulent dialogue as he served them each a bowl of steaming chili. “Go ahead and eat while it’s hot.”

  “This smells great,” said April. “Aren’t you having any, Allan?”

  “I rarely eat lunch,” William replied. “I might nibble a bit later.”

  “Suit yourself,” said Roberta before sampling her first spoonful. “Damn, this is good. You don’t know what you’re missing, buddy.”

  William laughed and said, “I have tasted my chili in the past.”

  April gave him a thumbs up and said, “It’s to die for.”

  “Wait until you try my killer quesadillas and empanadas,” William replied with a wink. “They should be warm enough by now.”

  He moved to the kitchen and returned to the table moments later with two plates laden with the remainder of the deadly feast.

  “Those look awesome,” Roberta exclaimed as she reached for a quesadilla then bit into it. Her eyes closed as she chewed and swallowed. “I think we’re in heaven.”

  “Try an empanada,” April urged with her mouth full. “Amazing. Where did you learn to cook like this, Allan?”

  William shrugged and smiled as he sat at the table to watch them eat. “Simply something I picked up over the years. I’ve always liked to eat well and enjoy spending time in the kitchen. I’m pleased you like it.”

  “Like it? Try love it,” Roberta corrected before stuffing the remainder of her empanada in her mouth.

  They fell silent as April and Roberta slowly and methodically consumed the feast William had prepared for them, savouring each bite, often expressing their satisfaction with small sighs of delight. Thirty minutes later, the last of the food was gone and William was perplexed, his frustration growing as neither woman seemed to be feeling any ill effects from the various p
oisons they had ingested. Had he completely misunderstood everything he believed he had learned during countless hours of research? Singly, each of the poisons he had employed should have caused damage and distress. The lye should be eating at their insides. Several of the toxins were supposed to affect their breathing, cause nausea, abdominal pain, headaches…

  His thoughts were interrupted by April who suddenly released a loud belch then mumbled, “I don’t feel so good.”

  “Me too,” said Roberta before stifling a burp of her own.

  “What’s the matter?” asked William, hiding his hope behind a mask of concern.

  “I feel kinda sick to my stomach,” April replied, wincing, “Like I’m maybe gonna throw up.”

  “Yeah, and I’m getting a headache too,” Roberta added.

  “I think I better lie down,” April announced as she left the table and made her unsteady way to a couch in the living area.

  “Heartburn,” Roberta murmured followed by another hearty belch.

  She stood and wavered sufficiently for William to come to her aid and steady her.

  “Perhaps you should lie down as well,” he suggested before guiding her to the other couch.

  He helped her get settled then turned to gaze at April. Curled in a ball on her side, her head resting on a cushion, she appeared to be sleeping though she seemed to be softly moaning. Looking back down, he noted Roberta’s eyes were closed and her breathing was slightly laboured. According to what he had read, several of the poisons they had ingested could lead to a coma. Had he inadvertently come up with the proper mix to take them straight to this stage without having to endure the troublesome screams of agony and disgustingly messy vomiting?

  He glanced at his watch – three o’clock. He didn’t want to claim victory prematurely but it had been barely an hour earlier when the two women had consumed their first drink. A couple more since with a simple Mexican meal and they were now clearly unconscious. He would give it some time, perhaps an hour, and do his best to monitor their conditions in the interim. Even if he noted no further evidence of deterioration, the results so far held promise. If he could similarly incapacitate Chris Barry and his merry band, he could easily then put an end to their sorry lives with his twenty-two at point blank range.

  Yes, he would wait an hour to see the progress with his two test subjects. He might then assemble his small rifle, which was in his overnight bag, and finalize the day’s activities. They clearly loved the area so they surely would not mind staying forever.

  * * * *

  Near La Minerve, Quebec, 3:54 p.m.

  William awoke with a start and looked from the recliner to the two nearby couches. Both women remained prone, neither seeming to have even changed position. He hadn’t planned on sleeping but clearly his mind and body had decided he could use a little break for he had been out for almost an hour.

  The fog of sleep dissipated and he realized he had not waken of his own accord. Some sound, a thump or a knock, had disturbed his sleep. Perhaps the wind had blown some object against a wall or a bird had flown into a window, he was not sure. Curious, he rose from his seat, glancing at the window and back door behind him before moving toward the front of the small house. He paused for a few seconds to observe the two women, reconfirming their unconscious state then rounded the couch on which Roberta lay and advanced into the dining area.

  As he headed toward the window beyond the table, a sharp rap at the front door froze him in his tracks. Who could that be? Nobody knew he was here except for Wollam who was quite content with keeping their contacts to a minimum. Perhaps someone from the area had noticed the Escalade and was coming to investigate. Regardless, there was no sense ignoring the visitor since he or she could easily peer through the windows, front or back, and see well enough inside. His decision made, he covered the remaining distance to the door and opened it – and froze anew.

  “Hey, Allan,” said Chris, with Dave by his side. “How’s it going?”

  “C-Chris? Dave?” William stammered. “W-what are you doing here?”

  “We were in the neighbourhood so we thought we’d drop by,” Chris explained with a smile.

  “In the neighbourhood?” William repeated, failing to grasp what was going on.

  “Do you mind if we come in?” asked Chris.

  “I, uh, actually, I, uh, have a couple of guests,” William replied, lowering his voice. “They’re taking a nap so, uh, I don’t want to disturb them.”

  “It’s okay, Allan,” Roberta called from the living area. “We’re up.”

  William turned to find Roberta standing by the couch, clearly wide awake while April was opening the back door. Another surprise rocked him as Jonathan entered, followed by Frank Bakes.

  “Hey, Leslie,” said Jonathan, giving April a brief hug before calling out to Roberta. “Hi, Joanne. Been a while.”

  “Hi, Jon,” Detective Joanne Nelson replied. “Good to see you.”

  “What the hell?” William whispered, numb with shock and incomprehension.

  “You don’t look well, Allan,” said Chris as Dave closed the front door behind them. “Why don’t you go have a seat on that recliner?”

  William turned to Chris, his eyes wide, and demanded, “What the hell is going on here?”

  Chris gave him a mirthless smile. “I said, go have a seat. Let’s not make this difficult.”

  William stared back at Chris, his bewilderment turning to hatred then, with a curt nod, made his way to the waiting recliner behind which stood Jonathan and Frank.

  “So, you all lied to me,” he snapped once seated.

  Chris sat before him on the centre table and asked, “How so?”

  “You and the others, pretending to be my friend, these two, impersonating street people to get money from me,” William replied with indignation, “All while clearly planning to conspire against me. What do you want? Ransom? Is this a kidnapping?”

  Chris shook his head and smiled. “If you’re going to be stupid, which you’ve already demonstrated you’re quite capable of, I’m going to ask you to be quiet while I spell it out for you.”

  “I don’t want to hear anything you have to say,” William shot back. “If you’re who you say you are, a big shot businessman, though I’m certain you’re more than that, government agents and police officers, you’ll understand what I’m saying. I want my lawyer.”

  “Be quiet and listen,” Chis repeated kindly.

  “I want my lawyer,” William shouted.

  Chris sighed, his smiled slowly disappearing, and gradually turning to a frown, his eyes unblinking as they remained locked on William’s.

  A minute passed then William surrendered, looking down as he muttered, “This is preposterous.”

  “It certainly is,” Chris agreed, “In fact, if you’re completely honest, you should find it beyond ludicrous by the time I’m done explaining it to you. Shall we get started?”

  “I’m all ears,” William replied with exaggerated sarcasm as his eyes spewed hatred.

  “Good,” said Chris. “Now, You need to understand, if we’re here having this discussion today, it’s because you made some mistakes and I want to tell you what they were.”

  “Do tell,” William scoffed. “The suspense is killing me.”

  “This one is minor but little things add up,” said Chris. “The first time Jonathan saw you, in the entrance to our building, you were wearing glasses.”

  “I never realized impaired vision was a crime.” William retorted.

  “It isn’t, of course,” said Chris. “Nor is telling us later you have perfect vision but, it tells us you lied and caused us to wonder why. Don’t worry, I have some better stuff than that. For example, when you and I first met in the underground parking, we briefly introduced each other. Do you remember that?”

  “Ah, yes,” William replied with mocked wistfulness. “Memories.”

  “The point is, you idiot,” Chris continued, “The introductions were on a first name basis only.
Yet, the next morning when we ran into each other at the gym, you knew my full name.”

  William’s expression showed surprise for an instant before it hardened anew as he replied, “I could have learned it from some other source.”

  Chris smiled and asked, “Such as?”

  William appeared to think for a moment before saying, “From the building directory, of course.”

  “First names aren’t on the directory,” said Chris. “Initials only and I’m not the only C in the building. Nice try though. Let’s move on because it gets better. After you were attacked, you came to my place because you had nothing to treat your cut with.”

  “I had just moved in,” William interrupted. “I might also add I’m only in the area for a short period. Forgive me for not fully stocking my medicine cabinet.”

  “The next morning, you told me you had cleaned and dressed the cut again when you got home,” Chris countered. “Just another little detail to make us wonder.”

  “And what other damning evidence do you have for the court?” William taunted.

  “You love to paint but didn’t seem to know what you were talking about when chatting with Sandy,” Chris replied. “You also mentioned something to Jonathan’s wife about my being a prominent businessman, a subject we had never discussed.”

  “I found you to be an intriguing sort and you’re obviously well off,” William explained, “So I Googled you. Combined, everything you’ve told me so far amounts to nothing. Pure rubbish. In fact, I still don’t have the faintest clue what this is about or what you’re desperately failing at leading up to.”

  “If that’s the case, good thing I didn’t become a lawyer,” Chris replied before glancing up at Leslie. “You want to chat with him for a bit? Maybe you can get through to him.”

  “Sure,” said Leslie, pulling an iPad from her pack sack on the couch before taking Chris’ seat. “Hey, Allan.”