To Be Unbroken

by Stein Willard

  “I held that box back intentionally for when you had your own children.”

  Sara gasped at the sound of her mother’s voice so close behind her. She slowly turned to look at Sandra where she stood looking down at her. Surprisingly, Sandra was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. It was an outfit, Sara knew, that meant her mother was planning on spending the day indoors.

  “Good afternoon, mother.”

  “Hi. Miriam told me you were busy up here. Looking for something specific?”

  “Just something to wrap up for a friend’s daughter.”

  “That doll is a great choice. They are collectors’ items now.”

  Sara looked at the doll. “I really liked it when I was child.”

  “I remember.” A small smile curled around Sandra’s lips. “You wouldn’t go to sleep without it and your father and I had to sneak it out of your room when you went to school so we could get it cleaned up.”

  Sara grinned as she came to her feet. “Now you tell me. I remember sneaking into your room once and putting some makeup on her only to find her cleaned up the next time I returned from school.” She cradled the doll against her chest. “Dad said that she was a princess and that they used magic to keep themselves clean.”

  A beautiful smile formed on her mother’s lips at that. “Jason is a great man. I thank my lucky stars I had the sense to snatch him out of Celia Stamford’s claws.”

  Sara’s eyes widened. Her mother was well-known for being a very private person. Sandra never, ever spoke about her marriage not even to her. Over the years she had caught her parents in an occasional embrace, but scenes like that were very rare. She was intrigued. Is Mother giving me an ‘in’ into her private life?

  “Celia Stamford? Isn’t she married to Senator Giles Stamford?”

  Sandra smirked. “The one and only.”

  “Oh,” Sara mumbled, trying not to appear too interested lest Sandra clammed up. “She seems like a nice woman.”

  “Now, yes. Back then she was a real bitch.”

  Sara’s jaw dropped. “Mother!”

  Sandra didn’t even look contrite. “What? It’s true.” Sandra looked at the doll. “Is that all you’re taking?”

  Confused by the sudden change in subject, Sara nodded.

  “Do I know your friend?”

  “Andra Bells.”

  Sandra blinked, her mouth parting slightly. “Of the Boston Bells?”

  “Yes.”

  “She has a daughter? But I thought she was a lesbian?” Sandra seemed genuinely confused now.

  Sara held out the doll to her mother so she could close the box from where she’d taken the doll.

  “She’s married to a woman and they have two children—a boy and a girl.”

  When nothing more was forthcoming from her mother, she looked over her shoulder to find Sandra cradling the doll to her chest. The older woman had a look of such longing on her face.

  “Mother? Are you okay?”

  The green eyes, so like her own, were somber as they looked at her. “That is what I’ve always wished for you.”

  “A family?”

  “Yes, a family. I want you to be happy.”

  For the second time in less than ten minutes, her mother genuinely surprised Sara. It was also the first time in a very long time that they could talk without snapping at each other. Sara moved closer to her mother.

  “But I’m happy,” she said softly as she searched her mother’s face. She didn’t want Sandra to think otherwise and try setting her up on a date again. After Caroline, Sara had serious doubts about her mother’s choice of partners for her.

  Sandra held up her hand. “Don’t take it the wrong way, but I thought I was happy too once. I had money, looks, friends, lovers. I thought I needed nothing more.” Sandra smiled and Sara was shocked by the love that radiated from it. “That was until I attended Celia Stamford’s twenty-first birthday party. She was dancing with this boy. As they twirled on the dance floor, my eyes met his and it was love at first sight.” Sandra inhaled deeply and averted her eyes. The silence stretched between them and Sara put her hand on her mother’s arm.

  Intrigued by the story and her mother’s unusual behavior, Sandra threw caution to the wind. “Please continue, Mother.”

  “Celia was known for playing the field and I knew I couldn’t let her hurt this boy.” Sandra continued. “He wasn’t her type after all. Some would say he wasn’t handsome enough or wealthy enough. But I found myself in that brief look we shared.” Sandra giggled naughtily, shocking Sara further. “I kissed him that night and every night since for the past forty years. He is a wonderful husband and he gave me you. I couldn’t be happier than I am now, Sara. The two of you are my joy.”

  Sandra’s heartfelt words moved Sara tremendously, since they came from a woman she had considered cold and aloof for most of her adult life. She only realized she was crying when Sandra gently wiped her tears from her cheek.

  “That is all I have ever wanted for you. I was so scared that the older you got that you might never experience it and out of desperation I started to put pressure on you.” Sandra pressed a gentle kiss on Sara’s forehead. “I never even asked you if it was what you’d want.”

  Sara took her mother’s hand and pressed it to her cheek. “I want it to. But not with Caroline.”

  “But according to that lesbian show on TV…” Sandra stopped talking and cocked her head to the side. “Isn’t she pretty enough?”

  “She’s extremely good-looking, but Caroline is not interested in having a family or even a relationship, for that matter.”

  “But she said…ˮ Sandra pursued her lips. “I will take this up with her.”

  Sara smiled, feeling her heart rejoice at her mother’s intention to take Caroline to task. “No need, mother. I’ve met someone I think might want the same things I do.”

  Sandra’s eyes widened. “Oh my, you’re actually seeing someone?”

  She giggled at her mother’s surprised look. “Yes and I want you to meet her. But first we need to talk, because it is really very complicated.”

  “Love’s not really that complicated, honey. We just make it so sometimes.”

  “Believe me, mother, what I’m about to tell you will blow your mind.”

  Sandra held the doll out to her. “Am I going to need alcohol?”

  “I…I think so,” Sara replied carefully.

  Sandra hooked her arm through Sara’s. “Then I suggest we have this talk in your father’s game room. He stocks tequila.”

  ***

  Claire poured two mugs of coffee and held one out to her wife. Holding hands, they made their way over to the sitting room, where Andra picked up the remote and switched on the TV. Claire rolled her eyes when Andra immediately selected a sports channel. Andra rarely watched TV but when she did her first choice was always sports before she rushed through the news channels. An international soccer match was on and Claire granted Andra a few minutes of peace as she quietly sipped her coffee and looked around the apartment. She rarely came down to Maxima’s domain and nothing much had changed since the last time she was here. No wonder really, since the warrior spent most of her time with them anyway. Seeing how quickly her wife had become engrossed in the game, she decided to keep herself busy in the kitchen. Searching through the kitchen cupboards, she was impressed by how well-stocked they were. She had never seen Maxima cook. Hell, she wasn’t even sure if the woman could cook. But she could.

  She placed her mug on the island and reached for the apron. Maxima might need a snack when she awakens. She was stirring the pasta sauce when two arms curled around her waist and a hard body pressed against her back.

  “Something smells really good in here, love,” Andra purred close to Claire’s ear.

  “I decided to make some pasta just in case Maxima is hungry.” She tilted her head back exposing her neck to Andra’s lips. “Is the match finished?” How long have I been busy in here?

  “It’s halftime.”


  Claire held out the spoon to Andra for a taste. At her wife’s nod she lowered the heat. “Will you help me with the salad? I just need you to cut up the veggies?”

  “Sure.”

  As she worked on the pasta, Claire kept on stealing glances at Andra. She had missed this. They used to cook together almost every night when they began to date. Andra would come over to her apartment and they would open a bottle of wine and try out new recipes while they talked. It was during one of their cooking sessions that Andra had asked the big question. That night they had skipped dinner and went straight to dessert. Their anniversary was coming up; maybe she could talk Andra into spending the weekend at the cabin in Montana. They had done that for their fifth anniversary and they both had enjoyed themselves and each other tremendously.

  “Anything you want to tell me, baby?”

  Claire looked up to find those gorgeous blue eyes resting on her. “What makes you think I have something to say?”

  “You’ve been throwing glances my way for the past five minutes.”

  Claire shrugged. “Am I not allowed to admire my sexy wife?” As soon as the words left her mouth, the atmosphere in the kitchen changed, thickening with desire. Andra gently placed the knife down and turned to face her, her blue eyes dark with desire. They had a very active sex life, but of late and with the stress of dealing with the aftermath of the disastrous Thanksgiving dinner, Claire had missed Andra’s attention. They gravitated towards each other. “I’ve missed your touch.”

  “As long as you do not touch each other in my kitchen.”

  Claire groaned when Andra pulled away. She turned a frustrated gaze on Maxima, who stood in the doorway regarding them with twinkling blue eyes.

  “It sure smells nice in here. What are we having for dinner?”

  “Go wash up. Dinner will be ready when you get back.” Claire waited until Maxima was out of the door before she pulled Andra close for a quick kiss. “Later.”

  As promised, Claire had the table set when Maxima strode back into the kitchen a few minutes later. She was pouring them each a glass of wine as Andra and Maxima settled themselves around the table.

  “Thank you for dinner, Claire,” Maxima said warmly as she dug into her food.

  Claire nodded as she took her seat. “I thought you might be hungry.”

  “I am. This is really good.” Maxima took another bite. “Did you chop the garlic or crush it?”

  Claire smiled as she studied Maxima over the rim of her glass. “I crushed it.”

  “The flavor is unbelievable. I heard that crushing is the best way to release the flavor.”

  A deep sigh sounded and Claire glanced Andra’s way. Andra’s jaw was set as she kept her eyes on her plate.

  “Everything okay, honey?” Claire inquired curiously. What could’ve caused the sudden change in Andra?

  “It will be as soon as we get to the reason why we are here,” Andra said coolly.

  Out of the corner of her eye Claire saw Maxima lowering her fork.

  “You are here about Sara?” Claire blushed as Maxima’s gaze slid from Andra to her. “Did you two pump Nadia for information?”

  Claire cleared her throat. “It’s not like that. Nadia happened to mention that Sara read her a bedtime story. We did the math and found out that must have been a very recent occurrence. Are we wrong?”

  “No.” Maxima’s eyes swung between the two of them.

  “Then why the secrecy?” Andra drained her glass and reached for the bottle again. “Are you scared we’re going to mess it up again?” Andra intended for the remark to sound indifferent, but Claire could hear the hurt in her wife’s tone. She reached out and placed her hand over Andra’s. They had not spoken about it again after lunch, except for deciding to come and see Maxima tonight. Claire was mortified that she hadn’t noticed how all this was hurting her wife.

  Maxima obviously also picked up on Andra’s hurt, because she quickly shook her head. “I have no secrets from you, Andra, nor do I want to start now.”

  “But you know how this affects us all and yet you still decided to keep it from us.” Andra drained her glass again. “I know it really isn’t any of our business, but—”

  “It is your business. In fact, it is a family issue.” Maxima came to her feet and came to kneel next to Andra’s chair. “I am sorry this hurt you, but I promise you I was not keeping it a secret from you. Sara called me to her place three nights ago because she had a vision of Anima’s suicide. She asked me to spend the night there because she could not sleep. Since then she has been coming over to sleep here.”

  Andra shrugged. “It still hurts.”

  Maxima gently pulled Andra into her arms. “I am sorry I hurt you, Andi-bear.”

  Claire blinked. Andi-bear? She noticed a blush creep up Andra’s face as Maxima cuddled her.

  “Don’t call me that.” Andra said softly.

  Claire noticed that her wife was trying hard to avoid looking at her.

  “It never used to bother you.”

  Andra pushed out of Maxima’s embrace, so she could look at the warrior. “I was a child then.”

  Maxima frowned slightly. “If I remember correctly I still called you that when you were in your late teens. You even said you liked it because it reminded you of when we watched the Berenstain Bears together when you were a child.”

  Andra gasped; her eyes horror filled. “Oh my…you didn’t just say that!”

  Claire didn’t try to keep her laughter in and it bubbled out. Two sets of pale blue eyes swung her way. Maxima’s face registered confusion while Andra’s was red with embarrassment. Noticing her wife’s discomfort, she stifled her laughter.

  “That is so cute, honey. I loved the Berenstain Bears too.”

  “You…you did?” Andra asked carefully.

  “I always thought Honey was the cutest. My grandmother called me Honey Bear.” Claire saw the color leaving Andra’s face as she smiled. “No need to feel embarrassed.” Claire winked at Andra. “I think it’s hot.”

  Maxima threw up her hands and returned to her seat. “Are we okay now, Andra?”

  “Yes.” Andra’s eyes were fixed on Claire, the pale eyes once again bright with desire.

  CHAPTER 13

  Sara was still grinning as she let herself into Maxima’s apartment. She could still see her mother’s mouth hanging open after she’d finished telling her about Maxima. She dropped her bag on the sofa and shrugged out of her jacket as she made her way to the bedroom. She stopped in the doorway to take in the scene before her.

  Maxima was stretched out on her back with her hands folded behind her head, watching some wildlife channel. Sara let her eyes travel slowly over the tall body, taking in the bulging biceps, the way the white t-shirt spanned over the strong shoulders. The blue eyes tracked from the TV screen to her and Sara felt a warmth settle in the pit of her stomach as Maxima sat up, causing the muscles in her thighs to pull together. She swallowed as she met the blue eyes.

  “Hi,” she said softly.

  “Hi. Have you eaten already?” Maxima swung her feet off the bed and came to stand in front of her. “If not, I can heat up something for you. We still have a few minutes before we have to tuck Nadia in.”

  Sara’s senses were on overload. Her eyes feasted on the soft lips, watching how the tip of Maxima’s tongue peeked out as she talked. The warrior was standing so close that she could feel the heat radiating off her body, bringing with it a soft woody smell that Sara knew came from the body wash the warrior used. Her eyes trailed over the broad shoulders, down to the small breasts, ending at the chiseled abs visible through the tight t-shirt. She recalled a remark she’d made to her mother earlier and smiled.

  “Are you alright?” Maxima looked both confused and concerned.

  Her smile widened. “Yes.”

  “You are acting strange. I am confused.”

  Sara’s hand reached out and she placed it on Maxima’s chest, marveling at the muscles she felt under her palm.
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br />   “I spoke to my mother this afternoon…about you.” She studied the ice blue eyes as dark brows shot up. “I told her you are as potent as the last drink you have in your hand, knowing it will knock you on your ass but you are unable to resist.”

  The silence afterwards was heavy as Sara watched Maxima’s face darken and her pupils expand. Yep, the warrior is hot for me. It thrilled her immensely. Not once during the three nights they’d spent together, did Maxima show any signs of arousal around her. In fact, her hands never strayed when they lay in bed together. Nor did Maxima use any sexual innuendos or even give her improper looks. The pale gaze was always open and honest when they talked.

  Tonight however, the way Maxima looked at her was causing many little slivers of pleasure to rush down to her nether region. She cleared her throat nervously when the silence stretched. Maxima finally broke the silence and Sara almost sighed in relief.

  “How is your mother doing?”

  For a long moment Sara just blinked at Maxima. She grinned. No one can say the warrior is predictable. She pushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear.

  “She was well on her way to getting drunk when I left her.” An image of her mother slamming back a shot of tequila, made her grin broadly.

  “Did she believe you?” Those devil eyes held Sara’s, the hungry gaze unwavering.

  “She didn’t really say anything, but I think it’ll take a few days before she’ll talk to me about it again.” Sara lowered her gaze. It was really unsettling, talking so calmly about her mother, while Maxima was ravishing her with her eyes. “I think she was a little…stunned by what I had to tell her. I’m sure she’ll call a few mental institutions early tomorrow morning to find a place where I could be treated discretely.”

  She looked up to see Maxima’s gorgeous lips curl into a smile. “Since I know how difficult you find it to sleep without me, I think she will have to find a double room for us.”