Journals of the Damned

by GJ Zukow

Sunday morning, twenty percent. This morning almost half of my sisters and mothers skin were bright scarlet. In the next twenty four hours their skin will be almost completely red, then they will die.

  Last night my mother came clean with everything she knew about the deadly parasite known as Toxoplasmosa Mondus Omni. Being infected herself, she also told me first-hand of the symptoms and their affects.

  The CDC has had an abundance of corpses to autopsy, both animal and human. They have been able to isolate the parasite, extract its DNA and examine it in great detail. This new and lethal parasite didn't evolve from Toxoplasmosa Gondii, it was bio-engineered from it. It is the general consensus that this was the result of a government run program, initially interested in creating a more lethal version of the parasite to eliminate the local rat population. This is where the single celled parasite's new and improved egg casing came from. There are markers that show the genetic material that made up its DNA was compressed to an extent, having some seemingly unneeded "junk" sequences removed to make the eggs light enough to allow for the eggs to become airborne. This turned out to be a huge mistake. A lot of even our own DNA appears to be compromised of this "junk", but it serves as both a "filler material" and a stabilizing agent. While cells with much of the place holder material removed can still be capable of reproducing, this presents problems of its own after even a few generations. Apparently without any further clinical study this modified parasite was released into the wild.

  The main culprit seems to be North Korea, but there is no solid evidence besides it being ground zero for the infection and a vague statement of an intent to attempt to stop vermin from eating their dwindling food stores. At this, the point of pointing fingers at the supposed culprit is mute, there is nothing that can be done about it now.

  The organism did its intended job very well, literally wiping out over ninety percent of the rodent population around the world during the "Rat Death". Soon after the new version of the parasite was released into the local rat population it mutated. The previously removed filler DNA was picked up from a new source and replaced the missing material. This made it contagious to many other animal species.

  When it made the transition to mammals it mutated again and became the behavior and mind altering pandemic that brought about the "Madness".

  With such a huge new food source, and the ability for this unstable parasite to breed unchecked, when it hit the human hosts, it mutated into what we now recognize as Toxoplasmosa Mondus Omni. Ninety percent of the human population had no natural defenses or immunities to this new plague. The ten percent or so of the population that is resistant to this deadly threat are only immune due to some, as of yet, unknown genetic quirk.

  It was the parasite that caused the "Rat Flu". That was when everyone became infected. It was then that our fate was sealed.

  "Why hasn't the government told us this?", I asked my mother.

  "To what end would it serve to tell people that they were going to die raving lunatics in two weeks? You see how bad it’s getting now, as people are filled with this growing fucking rage. Add on top of it the certain knowledge that they will most certainly die and they will figure it doesn't god damn matter any fucking more what the hell they do.", My mother's face was twisting hard to control anger that was caused by the parasite slowly eating her brain. She never swore like that before, at least not in any normal conversation.

  As the parasite grows exponentially in its human hosts it sets itself all along the central nervous system, attaching itself to the nerves throughout the body.

  In the brain it finds a home in the most basic parts of our minds and secrets a chemical that mimics the agent responsible for what we refer to as anger. As the parasite grows the mind becomes flooded with this chemical in an overwhelming tide of hate. All the while it destroys the rest of the mind causing eventual insanity, homicidal behavior, and then death.

  Some early symptoms include headaches, fever, an uncontrollable itching sensation and the appearance of deep red spots. This is followed by an ever increasing sense of anger, agitation and the inability to sleep. As the severity of the parasitic infection grows, the most obvious indicator is the spread and growth of the small red spots. In the final stages there is insanity, violent and psychotic behavior and some reports of an uncontrollable craving for human flesh.

  Then death. But it's not a restful death. The victims of the epidemic are just now starting to show up in the morgues. The dead are exhibiting a disturbing amount of regular twitching and muscular movement. This proves the fact that the parasite still lives within the corpses, and it is their actions causing the sporadic movements.

  This morning, before my mother left for work at the hospital she told me to stay indoors, stay out of sight until this is over. She bluntly told me she and everyone else was going to be dead soon and it would be up to survivors like me to try and carry on. I cried and tried to hug her but she held me at arm's length.

  "I love you more than I love my own self Jennie. You have to be strong. You have to live through this."

  The tears flowed and I hugged her tight and didn't want to let go.

  "Stop crying, it is what it is." She almost roughly, almost angrily broke my hug.

  "Jannie, I would be crying right now too, if it weren't for this thing inside me. I can't cry anymore. I can't do anything but be angry. I'm so angry right now I'm afraid of hurting you and your sister so I'm going to go to work. Do you understand Jannie, I'm not leaving you because I love work more than you and Lucy, it's because I love both of you more. If I lose control I would rather do it there. If I end up losing control and hurting someone I would rather it were another infected bastard than one of you." The sound of her voice showed the strain she was under.

  My mom told me she had been giving Lucy some strong prescription sleeping aids (which is why she slept until after my mother left) and I was to place some into her food to keep her under control until either my sister miraculously got better or died. I was to watch her, let her get something to eat, go to the bathroom, whatever, but as soon as she started to get where she was too much to handle, to sedate her. She reminded me children were quite capable now of picking up a knife and killing just as easily as an adult can.

  No matter what, I was not to go to the hospital under any circumstance. The psych ward was full to overflowing with the insane. Most of the crazy ones were in restraints not just to protect others but to protect them from themselves. Some were so intent on ridding themselves of the parasites they were stabbing themselves, trying to dig into their brains to let the things out.

  There were so many suicide attempts that most of the doctors (including my mom) have secretly agreed that trying to save them was a waste of time and resources. Suicides either go untreated and left to die or one of the nurses helps the cowards escape with a needle. Screw trying to save someone who was going to die within forty eight hours anyways.

  They tried to do what they could, but for the most part the hospital staff was just going through the motions. The only ones they seriously tried to save were those who appeared to be immune. Then the doctors and nurses spared no expense to save those precious lives. There was some darkness about saving the immune. The immune became virtual prisoners and human guinea pigs for some of the doctor’s experiments. The doctors and nurses desperately want to find a cure and the immune that are unlucky enough to fall into some of their hands become the subjects of vivisection and worse.

  People were drinking poison, herbicide, insect killer and any other insane thing in an attempt to sicken and kill the single celled menace. Overdoses of every kind were being seen as the despondent attempted any and every means to rid themselves of the organism.

  The dead, human and animal, are mandated to be burned by federal order in an effort to eradicate the parasite and its eggs. My mother and the doctors understand the reasoning behind that order but the secondary order bewilders them. It states that if the doctors and nurses are not able to perform a cremation o
n the corpses within 36 hours then a thin blade is to be inserted into the base of the skull where it joins the spine, severing and scrambling the lower portions of the brain.

  From all around the city comes the perpetual sound of sirens, of gunshots and the heavy smell of smoke.

  The news is filled with chaotic reports of riots, murder and acts of terrorism.

  There is talk of the government declaring Martial Law nationwide by tomorrow night.

  Wednesday, September 26, 2012

  Since my last entry my mother has gone missing, I killed Mike McConnell's mother then later that day I killed Mike. To top it off, that same night, last night, I buried my sister in the backyard.

  All of that happened yesterday. I've spent the majority of today crying and sleeping.

  I can't cry anymore. I've cried myself out for the rest of my life. I cried myself to sleep earlier and just now woke up again. Something inside me changed while I slept. I'm not sad or scared anymore. In fact, not only do I feel bereft of any real emotion, I kind of feel and odd excitement. I know it sounds macabre to find the apocalypse stimulating but I've always wondered what it would be like to live through the end of the world. At least I'm not going to die like an insane animal. If I can