Defender of Hearts

by Tanya Bird

  Borin shifted, visibly uncomfortable. ‘Two months, the farmers are telling me.’

  Astin and Lyndal stared at one another, a realisation settling between them. The remaining thirty-nine head of cattle had not gone to the nobility borough, which raised a much bigger question.

  ‘Do eat up,’ Queen Fayre told Lyndal. ‘I imagine you are famished.’

  ‘I would skip the chicken, however. It is a little dry,’ Borin said, poking at his plate.

  ‘My niece will not notice,’ Thomas said, waving his fork. ‘Merchants have a different palate.’

  Lyndal closed her eyes, and Astin fought to keep his feet still and his face neutral.

  Lady Victoria placed her knife carefully on her plate and cleared her throat. ‘Did anyone catch the break in the clouds a few nights back? Some reported seeing stars.’

  Lyndal’s eyes opened. Slowly, she reached for the jar of wine and refilled her cup, drinking the entire thing before turning to her uncle. ‘How is our palate different?’

  Everyone stopped talking and looked in their direction.

  ‘He meant no offence,’ Victoria said, playing the peacekeeper.

  Lyndal’s eyes never left her uncle. ‘I’m simply curious. It’s clear to all that the nobility have better clothes and houses, more wealth and food, greater health, and more promising futures. But how is it that your palate is also superior?’

  Queen Fayre glanced in Astin’s direction. ‘Lord Thomas did not say superior.’

  Lyndal emptied her cup yet again and reached for the jar.

  ‘I think you have had enough,’ Thomas said, moving it out of reach.

  She laughed, but it was not her usual pretty laugh. It was venomous. ‘You people. Always deciding when we’ve had enough. Enough wine, enough food, enough freedom. I’m always surprised when I enter the merchant borough and find no wall around the well.’

  ‘That is enough,’ Borin said, throwing down his fork.

  Thomas looked up at the high table. ‘I must apologise on behalf of my niece, Your Majesty. I believe she was attempting humour and it fell flat.’

  Lyndal stared at him, tapping one finger on the table. ‘I wonder if that’s because you have a more sophisticated sense of humour than I do.’

  Thomas’s face twitched.

  ‘Fletcher,’ the queen mother said, clicking her fingers. ‘Would you see Lady Lyndal to her quarters? She is tired and in need of a good night’s sleep. I shall have some food sent up.’

  ‘Excellent suggestion,’ Borin agreed.

  Lyndal rose on unsteady legs. ‘Let’s hope no one sets the room alight.’

  Astin did not get there quick enough to stop that one. Taking hold of her arm, he leaned in and whispered in her ear, ‘Bid the king and his guests goodnight.’

  ‘Have a wonderful dinner, everyone,’ she said, falling into a leaning curtsy. ‘That chicken will be fine in a soup. Heat it low and slow.’

  Borin narrowed his eyes. ‘Are you drunk?’

  Fayre gestured for Astin to take her away while Lady Henley and Lord Wilfred looked on with disapproving expressions. Lyndal reached for the jar of wine on the table when Astin turned her.

  ‘Absolutely not,’ he growled, steering her sharply away from the table.

  Thomas glared after her while Victoria stared down at her plate.

  Astin was forced to keep hold of her as he guided her across the room and out of the hall. Thankfully, she waited until they were out in the corridor before tripping over her own feet.

  ‘Well, that went about as well as I was expecting.’

  Lyndal pulled out of his grip, almost falling over in the process. ‘See? I didn’t say a word about the cattle or your sister.’

  Astin walked at her side, ready to catch her. ‘Yes. Well done, you, for the two things you didn’t say during your verbal spewing.’

  ‘It wasn’t that bad.’

  ‘You may feel differently tomorrow.’

  When she tripped again, he caught her arm, and she did not pull free this time.

  ‘Where do you suppose he’s hiding the rest of the cattle?’ she asked. ‘And how does one hide animals that size? Someone knows where they are.’

  Astin drew a breath. ‘I’m not talking about this now.’

  ‘Should we see if there are any stars visible tonight?’ she asked, already moving on.

  ‘Queen Fayre told me to take you to your rooms, so I’m taking you to your rooms.’

  She pouted at him, and it was oddly adorable.

  ‘But I’m not tired.’

  He dragged her forwards. ‘Give the wine a chance to do its job. You only finished guzzling it a minute ago.’

  Only when they were standing outside her bedchamber door did he let go of her. She leaned against the frame, staring at up him with an expression bordering on adoration. He was immediately wary.

  ‘Do I dare ask what’s going on in that mind of yours?’ he asked.

  A slow smile spread across her face. ‘I was just recalling our earlier conversation. You see me.’

  He looked off down the corridor, ignoring the change in his pulse. ‘Food should be here soon. Can you get yourself inside?’

  She tilted her head. ‘The real question is can I get myself out of this dress?’

  His eyes returned to her. ‘Stop. You have enough to regret in the morning.’

  She presented her back to him. ‘Can you at least help with the buttons?’

  He stood there, not touching her. ‘What are you doing?’

  ‘Asking for your help. They’re just buttons.’

  Blinking slowly, he reached up and took hold of the top button, careful not to touch the bare skin visible above.

  ‘This is always the cruellest part of the day,’ she said quietly.

  His fingers continued to work down the row of buttons. ‘Why’s that?’

  ‘That bedchamber is empty. There’s no sisters in there to lie beside, to laugh with and share secrets with in the dark.’

  ‘Done,’ he said, hands falling away from her exposed back.

  She turned, her smile gone.

  Feeling sorry for her, he said, ‘Soon you will have a husband to tell all your secrets to.’ He had to stop his mind there for his own sanity.

  ‘I wouldn’t trust the king with my secrets.’ She hesitated. ‘I trust you though.’

  Swallowing, he reached past her and pushed the door open. ‘In you go.’

  She did not move. ‘Don’t you want to know if I saw you?’

  He shook his head. ‘It doesn’t matter now.’

  ‘You saved Pig’s baby. How could I not see you?’

  It took him a moment to figure out what she was talking about. His hand went to his brow. ‘Ah, the boar.’

  ‘I was always supposed to marry up, but not this far up.’ She laughed. ‘This whole thing is ridiculous.’

  He said nothing.

  ‘And now I’m thinking back to every time you came to the shop, to the house, to the dock, and I’m wondering why I never saw it.’ She pressed her lips together and looked away.

  His chest felt heavy and his hands restless. He gestured to the bedchamber. ‘Go inside before someone sees you standing out here with your dress unbuttoned—with me.’

  She covered her face with her hand. ‘And now you reject me.’

  ‘You’re drunk.’ He pulled her hands down and dipped his head to hers. ‘Tell me to help you out of your dress when you’re sober, and you might get a very different response.’

  He saw her swallow as he stepped back.

  It was perfect timing, as the rattle of a tray announced the arrival of a maid.

  ‘I’ll send for Thornton,’ Astin said. ‘Get some sleep.’

  Lyndal stepped aside to let the maid pass and lost her balance.

  Astin caught her again and walked her inside, sitting her on the bed. Turning to the maid, he said, ‘Help her change, make sure she eats, and don’t leave her side until she’s asleep. Understand?’

&nb
sp; The older woman nodded. ‘Yes, sir.’

  Then he marched out without a backwards glance.

  Chapter 25

  Lyndal peeled her eyes open and blinked away the fog of wine. Someone or something was shaking her.

  ‘Lyndal,’ Astin whispered.

  She lifted her pounding head off the pillow and found him crouched next to the bed. ‘Is the room on fire?’ She looked around the still dark bedchamber as she asked the question.

  ‘No.’ He rose and grabbed the cloak off the nearby chair, dropping it onto the bed. ‘Put this on and come with me.’

  ‘Come where?’

  He was fetching her boots. ‘I want to show you something.’

  She rose, pins and needles prickling one arm after sleeping in the same position for too long.

  ‘How do you feel?’ Astin asked as he swung the cloak around her.

  ‘Fine,’ she lied, looking up at him. ‘Where’s Thornton?’

  ‘Probably back at the barracks by now.’

  He gestured to the boots. She stepped into them and bent to tie the laces. ‘Am I in danger?’

  ‘Never when I’m with you.’

  She followed him out into the empty corridor, where grey light was now filtering in. It was a little before sunrise. ‘What are you doing up so early?’

  ‘I’ve been training.’

  She looked up at him. ‘When do you sleep?’

  ‘Before training. Unless the castle’s on fire.’ One corner of his mouth lifted.

  He led her down an uneven stone path towards the gate, and she was grateful that it was not raining. A rare treat.

  Looking up at the sky, Lyndal stopped.

  ‘What’s the matter?’ Astin asked, looking back.

  She exhaled and smiled as she gazed up at the clear sky. ‘I see actual sky.’

  He walked back and took her hand, pulling her along. ‘We have to keep moving or we’ll miss it.’

  ‘Miss what?’

  ‘You’ll see when we get there.’

  She hurried to keep up, enjoying the sensation of her hand wrapped by his. When she realised they were heading for the outer-wall of the borough, she slowed. ‘Astin?’

  He kept a hold of her hand. ‘Almost there.’

  They walked along the edge of the path, trying to avoid the worst of the mud. The curtain wall loomed ahead. At its base, Lyndal spotted a defender standing in front of a small door. The defender nodded to Astin, then turned to remove the drawbar, pulling open the heavy door.

  ‘Watch your head,’ Astin told Lyndal, ducking and following the defender into the dark hole.

  Lyndal hesitated.

  Astin looked back. ‘Always safe with me, remember?’

  Drawing a breath, she followed him. Ahead, she heard multiple drawbars being removed. She held tightly to Astin’s hand as they waited to be let through. Finally, light split the door, and the defender moved aside so they could exit.

  Lyndal froze when she found herself standing six feet from the edge of a cliff, then jumped when the door banged close behind her. The scrape of drawbars going back into place set her into a panic.

  ‘Don’t worry,’ Astin said, pulling her away. ‘He’ll let us back in when we’re done.’

  ‘Done with what?’ Her eyes went to the turbulent sea below. ‘I’m not climbing down.’

  He chuckled. ‘Come. We’ll get a better view farther along.’

  She reminded herself to breathe and focused on the hand holding hers. It felt like the most natural thing in the world.

  ‘Here it comes,’ Astin said over his shoulder.

  When she looked up, her feet stopped once more. Behind Astin, a pink line marked the horizon. All air left her lungs in one beauty-stricken, reminiscent exhale. Tears prickled her eyes as hope appeared on the skyline before them.

  ‘I didn’t want you to see it from behind a wall,’ Astin said.

  Neither of them spoke for the next few minutes. The only movement was the rise and fall of their cloaks with the ocean breeze. Then Astin walked over to the wall and removed his cloak. He laid it on the ground and gestured for her to come and sit. A smile spread across her face as she realised he had brought her through the wall to watch the sunrise.

  ‘It’s even better than stars, yes?’ he said when he caught her smile.

  ‘Yes.’ She walked over and sat down on the cloak beside him. Her arm pressed into his as they leaned their backs against the wall. The warmth from him made her shiver. ‘A nightdress isn’t very practical for a clifftop walk.’

  Astin turned and wrapped her cloak tighter around her, tucking it in place. ‘Better?’

  It was better, but she knew admitting that would mean the end of his efforts. She shook her head, and he wrapped an arm around her. She rested her head on his shoulder and shuddered with the instant warmth and comfort.

  ‘Better?’ he asked.

  She nodded, scared to speak and ruin the moment. Then they sat in one of the most comfortable silences she had ever experienced, watching colour take over the sky.

  ‘Look,’ she said, finally breaking the silence. ‘The first hint of orange.’

  He made an appreciative noise, and his hand slid down her arm a little. ‘What’s your last memory of the sun?’

  His breath on her hair made tiny bumps break out on her skin. ‘I think I was around eight. It had rained the entire week, and then the sun broke through the heavy cloud just before it set. Never in a million years would I have imagined I wouldn’t see it again for more than a decade.’ She turned her head to look up at him. ‘What about you?’

  ‘I would have been thirteen. In the north paddock with my sister. I remember her hand pressed to her brow, shielding her eyes from the sun.’

  Lyndal turned back to the sunrise. ‘It didn’t take us long to miss it. Constant wet stockings and muddy hems. And every time one of us complained, my father would say, “The rain can’t fall forever”. He said that every day for five years, right up until the day King Oswin stood upon the wall and told us all to abandon our god and pray to Belenus. I heard Father tell Mother that night that only a man with no faith left seeks out a new god. It’s the only time I remember hearing fear in his voice.’

  ‘Well, I don’t think Belenus heard our prayers either.’

  She shivered, and Astin’s arm tightened around her, muscle shifting beneath his uniform. Closing her eyes, she committed the moment to memory.

  ‘You can’t watch a sunrise with your eyes closed,’ he said into her hair.

  She opened her eyes and took a breath. ‘Any moment now.’

  Colour splashed over the sea right before a spot of radiant gold appeared on the water’s edge.

  ‘There it is,’ Astin said.

  She watched in awe. ‘I can almost feel its warmth.’

  ‘You know, your hair is something else in this light.’

  She looked up at him. ‘As are your eyes. It’s like the sun is rising in them.’

  He swallowed, and his eyes travelled down to her lips. ‘I should get you back before anyone notices you’re gone.’

  ‘I don’t want to go back.’ Never in her life had she wanted a man to kiss her more than in that moment. She was certain he would taste of sunrise. ‘I want to stay at the edge of the world with you.’ She remained perfectly still.

  ‘We need to go now, before I do something foolish.’

  Her body felt hot and cold all at once. ‘I see you, defender. Do you see me?’

  ‘I can’t see anything but you.’

  She wet her lips. ‘The clouds will eventually return, and this moment will disappear with the sun. Do you really want to walk away before it’s over?’

  He dipped his head, so slowly she thought she would combust beneath his tender gaze. His lips hovered just out of reach, his breath on her lips.

  ‘Last chance,’ he whispered.

  His words sent a shiver along her spine. Unable to wait any longer, she reached up and pulled his head down until his mouth met hers. So
much sensation all at once. Warm breath, orange hues of light, and his sweet taste. Her mouth opened and her toes curled in her boots as she reached up and took hold of his face with both hands.

  ‘You’re freezing,’ he whispered into her open mouth.

  ‘Sorry’ was her only response, because she wanted his mouth on hers again.

  Pulling back, he looked into her eyes as he lifted his undershirt a few inches and placed her icy hands on his warm stomach. She immediately began to tremble, partly from the warmth but mostly due to the intimacy of the gesture. She tentatively ran her fingers over his warm skin and firm muscle. His mouth found hers once more, and she was dizzy with sensation then.

  She had been kissed before. Mostly eager dance partners knowing full well it was all they would get from her. But this was different. A foreign hunger travelled all the way down to her belly, making everything below the hips clench. She explored lower, running her fingers along his trouser line, and his breath quickened in response. Leaning in, she pressed her thudding heart to his.

  Closer. She needed him closer.

  ‘We have to stop,’ he said.

  She shook her head, dismissing the suggestion. ‘No. I don’t want to.’ She pulled him to her again.

  His resolve dissipated, and he lifted her off the ground and onto his lap. Fingers trailed up her ribcage, caressing her skin through the cotton. Never had she resented fabric more than in that moment. Pulling up her nightdress, she guided his hand to her bare leg. A soft exhale came from her as she tipped her head back. He withdrew his hand and dropped his forehead to her collarbone, panting.

  A throat clearing nearby had Astin leaping to his feet. Lyndal would have gone flying, but he caught her at the same time he drew his sword.

  ‘Shit,’ Astin said when he saw who it was.

  Harlan stood ten feet away with his arms crossed, looking between them.

  ‘Commander Wright,’ Lyndal said, weirdly formal as she adjusted her cloak. Colour flooded her cheeks. ‘We were just kissing the sunrise.’

  Harlan’s eyebrows rose.

  ‘Watching the sunrise,’ Lyndal corrected, her ears now on fire.

  He nodded. ‘I see that. Well, I’m sorry to cut the viewing short, but Queen Fayre is looking for you. I wanted to find you both before my father did.’