Endlessly

by Kiersten White

Chapter Nineteen

 

  EAU DE FAERIE

  Evelyn," Cresseda said, but I stopped her.

  "Were you all in on it?" I glanced around the shore at the gathered paranormals: selkies and banshees and a gnome and a sylph and a few other things that were new that I didn't care enough to study. "Did you really risk Lend's life just so I'd see what the Unseelies were like? I already know what they're like! I already know they're terrible! I can't believe you"-I pointed right at Cresseda's watery chest where the light of her soul shimmered-"his own mother would do that. Every minute he was with the Dark Queen was dangerous. Who knows what she did to him!"

  Cresseda shook her head, droplets spinning off like liquid light. "I simply gave Reth Lend's name and asked him to help you in whatever way he could. "

  I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, because Reth's opinion on how to help me has always been spot-on. " I raised my scarred wrist from where he had tried to force more soul energy into me. "Brilliant move. For someone who's been around for eternity, you don't learn very fast. You. Don't. Trust. Faeries! Ever! Especially not him!"

  Okay, forget that I had been guilty of trusting him. I couldn't believe how grateful I was, how willing to forgive him for past offences.

  "I took the path that was necessary. " Reth's voice was firm and unapologetic.

  "By whose standards? No, whatever, don't answer that. David, can we take Lend back to the house now? It's freezing and I don't like the company here. "

  Arianna put a hand gently on my shoulder; I hadn't realized she was behind me. "Lend's home. That's all that matters. "

  I shook her hand off, tired and devastated and needing Lend to wake up, just wake up.

  "Please stay and hear us out, Empty One," a beautiful dryad asked, her skin a soft mossy green beneath her glamour, large brown eyes pleading.

  "My name is Evelyn. " My voice caught. I couldn't handle the mixture of hope and sadness in her eyes, couldn't shoulder the burden of the entire paranormal world. I'd worked so hard for my life. They'd find another way. I wasn't an Empty One, not anymore. I was an Evie.

  David sighed. "Will you go put his pillow and blankets on the couch? We can watch him easier down there. I'll bring Lend back to the house in a minute. "

  "Yeah. "

  I turned on my heel and hobbled toward the house. My feet were still tender, sore, and freezing but I didn't care.

  "Hey," Arianna said behind me; I walked faster. She ran to catch up, keeping pace with me. "Seriously, why won't you listen to them? You saw how bad things are in the Faerie Realms. You could stop it. "

  "Yeah, I saw it. My feet? That was because of the field trip Reth took me on-a field trip specifically designed to make me sympathetic toward his group of faeries. To convince me to do what they want me to. That's all any of them are trying to do: force me to be what they want me to be. I don't belong to them!"

  "Just because he tricked you into seeing it all, does that change how bad the things you saw were?"

  I shook my head angrily, trying not to think of the girls blissfully unaware that they were carrying around Empty Ones inside them, nothing more than tools for the Dark Queen. Then there were those locked forever in the dance. And the village. All those lives, stolen, destroyed on a whim by creatures that shouldn't be here at all.

  Creatures I could send back forever.

  This shouldn't be my responsibility!

  Arianna put her hand out on my arm and forced me to stop. "Listen," she said, her voice soft and intent. "Just because someone else-even someone you don't like-wants you to do something, doesn't mean it's not your choice. Doing the right thing is still doing the right thing. And if you make the right choice, whatever that is, it's still your choice, no matter who wants you to do it. They can never force you to. But you can choose to. "

  I put my hands up over my eyes and breathed into them. "I need some time. I'm. . . I'm scared. Of all of it. I need Lend to wake up and be okay before I can think about any of this. "

  "Okay. " She put her arms around me and leaned her forehead against mine. "But promise me you'll think about it. Really think about it. I spent way too many years doing things just because my parents didn't want me to, and I ended up dead. I know what I'm talking about. Promise me. "

  "Yeah," I said, my voice exhausted.

  She hugged me close, then shoved me away. "Let's go fix up the couch for Lend, then you need to take a shower. You stink like a faerie, all flowers and sunshine and evil manipulation. "

  "I thought he was going to wake up again on the way here; he was stirring and starting to put on glamours. It shouldn't be long. " David smiled tiredly at me after tucking Lend in, and I nodded.

  I crawled on the couch and scooted in to Lend, spooning against the whole length of his body and tucking my head into his neck under the curve of his chin. I put his arm over my waist, taking comfort in its familiar weight.

  Sleep was coming on heavy and desperately needed when I heard Arianna swear. "Where did you come from?"

  Jack's voice answered, whispering. "Is she okay?"

  "Yeah, she's okay. "

  "She bloody did it. " His voice was filled with wonder and admiration.

  "Stabbed the Dark Queen herself. "

  He snorted. "Oh, she's in for it now. "

  "As usual, but-Crap, your feet, too, huh? Come on, out back. She needs to sleep. "

  They padded away softly, and I slipped into slumber.

  "Did you do it?" Vivian whispered, everything dark and hazy, her voice sounding far away. Usually she was right next to me, as real as life.

  "I got Lend back. " I turned in a circle, but didn't see her anywhere.

  "Good girl. " She sounded happy, but her voice was getting farther away.

  "Where are you?"

  "I don't know. "

  "Can't you be here? I miss you. I wish-I wish I could bring you back with me like I brought Lend. "

  I could barely hear her now, like she was speaking from a great distance. "Why do you wish that? You shouldn't. "

  "But I do. Where are you going, Viv?"

  "I don't know, stupid. Just sleep. "

  When I woke up my mouth was dry, my throat irritated, and my stomach grumbling angrily from neglect. I squeezed Lend's hand where it was still draped over my stomach, but there was no response and it stayed as clear as water.

  I rolled off the couch, turning to make sure he was still sleeping, still breathing.

  "Wake up," I whispered, leaning in and leaving a lingering kiss on his forehead. "Please, soon. "

  With a sigh I took wincing steps out of the room and around the corner into the kitchen. David's fridge wasn't as well stocked as it had been when Lend and his enormous appetite lived here. I grabbed a loaf of French bread and sat heavily at the counter.

  How long would it take Lend to wake up? And what if he never did?

  No.

  I couldn't let myself think that, because if I thought it, it could become true. He would wake up. Soon. I looked up at the ceiling. I'd never had much religion in my life, but I knew for a fact there were things out there besides us. You couldn't carry the soul of your mermaid best friend in your own body without knowing that.

  "Hey, Universe?" My voice was soft, tentative. "If you're listening, I need my boyfriend to wake up. If he wakes up, I swear I'll do anything. I'll open gates, I'll help all the paranormals, I'll never judge people wearing Crocs again. Just let him wake up. Please. "

  "Well, good morning, bright eyes!" Jack's voice came from the other room.

  I sat up straight in shock, hearing Lend let off a string of swearwords. "Where is Evie? What did you do with her?" he croaked out, voice cracked and heavy with sleep.

  Thank you, Universe! I shrieked with joy, falling off the stool and hitting my hip against the table. Careening off it, I ran back into the family room just to see Lend's head disappear again behind the back of the couch.

 
"Lend, you're awake! You're-" I stopped dead in my tracks having come around the edge of the couch to find Lend, once again, crystal clear and unconscious. "Lend? Lend!" Kneeling next to him I shook his shoulder, soft at first, then harder. He didn't respond.

  Standing, I turned and saw Jack staring at both of us, confused.

  "What did you do to him?" I screamed.

  "I didn't do anything! He woke up and looked ready to kill me, business as usual, perfectly healthy. Then you turned the corner and it was lights out. "

  "If you did anything. . . "

  Jack raised both hands in the air. "Evie, I swear. "

  I sat on the edge of the couch, Lend rolling slightly with my weight so his stomach was against my back.

  Very funny, Universe.