by Ella Goode
“I know.” Cherry’s own voice is scratchy.
“You should leave,” comes Brian’s voice from over my shoulder.
I don’t bother to turn around. “And you should take a step back before your face and the floor become one. I don’t want to embarrass you in front of Cherry and your k--” I can’t even get that word out. That should be my kid. Cherry should be holding my daughter. I want to throw back my head and howl with rage. I’d trade every gig, every dollar, every cheer to have this kid with Cherry. Why’d I ever leave?
“Please,” I whisper to her.
My pitiful plea breaks through. Cherry untangles the baby from her arms and gently hands me the girl. The baby is tiny, barely heavier than a loaf of bread, but infinitely more breakable. My knees get weak again and I slide into an empty seat, not noticing that the booth is already occupied by Max Reed, the mayor’s son.
“First time holding a kid, Graves?” Reed asks.
“Yeah.”
“Hold the head or her mama might kill you.”
A quick look in Cherry’s direction confirms Reed’s statement. She’s ready to grab this baby from me at the first sign of wrongdoing. I readjust the baby in my arms.
“The kid’s name is Bailey,” Reed informs me.
“How do you know?” I scowl.
“Everyone does. This is Shindale.” He jerks his chin toward Brian, the kid I could’ve sworn was gay. He was a grade below us. I think. “And that while you were becoming famous, Brian stepped into the Linc-sized hole in Cherry’s life.”
“Shut up, Max,” Cherry snaps.
Max pretends to zip his mouth shut and gets to his feet. “Pie and coffee is too good to keep talking. Thanks for coming back and playing the festival. Shindale needs the economic boost.” “Is that why you came back? To play a gig?” The word sounds like a curse from Cherry’s lips.
I want to say I came home for her, that I’ve saved enough to take her away from Shindale, that she doesn’t need to worry about money ever again. I want to say that I don’t care if she slept with Brian or a hundred Brians because her straying was on me. I want to say that I love her and that I’ll always love her no matter the distance or time that separates us.
But my tongue is glued to the top of my mouth at the sight of Bailey. Her eyes are so fucking blue that I’m convinced that is what the color of love is. It’s not red. Not anymore. It’s this ocean blue with tiny flecks of green and brown. It’s the color of gold, streaked caramel in the sun. It’s starkissed skin and the precious smell of baby that fills my lungs.
Cherry’s always going to be number one in my heart, but Bailey? She’s got a lock on number two.
“I think that’s enough,” Brian says.
I hiss in a breath. “Like I said before, I don’t want to embarrass you in front of Cherry and the baby, but I will if you don’t shut your fucking mouth.”
“You and who--” I shoot up in a flash, hand the baby to Cherry and deck Brian. I punch him in the chin and when he stumbles back, I grab his shirt front and pull him upright for another blow. I don’t get to hit him again though. Cherry grabs my arm.
“What are you doing? Just stop it,” she cries. “Why would you come all this way for a fight?”
“I--” The “he hit me first” seems childish, but that’s the only excuse I’ve got so I shut up. I look at her and then the baby. “You better say your goodbyes to Brian here because if you haven’t broken up with him by the end of the day, I’ll do it for you.”
I don’t wait for a response. I’m not interested in anything anyone has to say. Cherry’s mine and always has been and that baby? I don’t care if the birth certificate has Brian’s name on it. I can easily cross that off. This is the digital era. I’ll just make a new one.
I stomp out of the cafe and the band tumbles behind me.
“It looks like your girl has found a new life,” Hal says.
I ignore him and face Nick and Benjy. “You saw it, didn’t you?”
The two exchange a glance before Nick nods reluctantly. “Yeah, I saw it.”
“Saw what?” squawks Hal.
“That kid is mine,” I tell him.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Cherry
“You okay?” I can tell Brian is going to have a bruise on his jaw. I can’t say he didn't have it coming. He’d hauled off and hit Linc first. I knew that wasn’t going to end well. But I did appreciate that he went to bat for me. He was only trying to be a good friend and even though I don’t encourage violence, I appreciate the sentiment.
“It was worth it. You see how pissed he was?” Brian says with a smug smile. I roll my eyes. “He thinks we’re together.” He wiggles his eyebrows at me. That got me to crack a smile for the first time since my eyes locked with Linc’s earlier.
“Is that really shocking at this point? Everyone assumes that. We’re always together and you’re not”—I drop my voice—“out yet.” Brian has never outright said he was gay but I think a few people think it.
That was until he and I got close. Then no one was sure of what was going on. I didn't pay attention to any of it. I had a little girl to worry about and could care less about town gossip. There have been so many rumors over the last year it’s been hard to keep up. I was lucky that I had Brian to lean on through all of this.
“I don’t think he cares who you have or haven't been with. It’s pretty obvious that he still thinks you're his.”
“Come on.” I hold Bailey close as we head out the back door of the diner. Everyone is watching us. These small-town folk love a good show. I’m sure this will be talked about for a good while.
“You okay?” Minnie asks just as we try to sneak out the back. She reaches up to touch Brian’s jaw. Guilt washes over me at him being hurt.
“We’re good, Mom.” Brian answers for the both of us.
“All right. Love you guys.” She lets us go. I’m sure she’ll have a million questions later. I hope she’s not mad at the scene I played a part in causing or the fact that I was the reason her son got hurt. If I had to guess, she doesn't care. If anything, they are going to be slammed tonight with people wanting to know what happened.
I get Bailey into her carseat while Brian puts the stroller into the back. He hops in with me. “He thought I cheated on him. He still thinks it,” I remind Brian. That always cut me deep. It still makes me mad. I’d been nothing but faithful and encouraging and he hadn’t even had the decency to come see me face to face with whatever concerns he had.
“You think he did something with a stripper.” Brian points out my hypocrisy. I shrug my shoulders because I can’t even bring myself to deny it.
“That woman tonight. She looked a lot like the one I saw in the video.” At least I think she did. That was over a year ago and the video was a little dark. She must be the same one that was in the article I read.
“Yeah.” Brian lets out a long sigh of agreement as we drive toward my place in silence. I’m still trying to process everything that happened. The fact that Linc is back. That he held our daughter in his arms. Maybe he finally put two and two together and realized Bailey is his baby.
“Doesn't change the fact that he’s not back here for me. He’s here for a show.” I will myself not to cry. An overall sadness comes over me thinking about how none of them had the decency to reach out to me. Seeing all of them today has driven that fact home. “I’m just forgettable.” A sob leaves me. “Why does everyone forget me?”
I had already come to peace with my parents not caring about me. It had been harder to accept that Nick and Benjy didn’t care. But the hardest of them all had been Linc. He’d sworn that he would always love me. That I had his heart and was the other half of his soul. I’d believed it all. Back then I knew that girls would eventually throw themselves at him, but I was confident that I never had to worry. He had been mine fully—until he wasn't.
“Fuck, Cherry.” Brian pulls the car to a stop in front of my place. I tried not to cry but there is no stop
ping it. I’ve held it all in for so long that now that I’ve started I can’t seem to stop.
“Now he’s going to want back into my life because of Bailey. I can’t blame him. Who wouldn't want to be in her life after seeing her?” I want him to be a part of her life. No matter what has happened between us, I know without a doubt that he will love her fiercely. That she will never want for anything in her life or second-guess whether or not she’s wanted. It’s with that realization that I push my tears aside. This isn’t about me or what happened in the past. This is about Bailey and what is best for her. What I don’t understand is why now?
“That is true.” Brian unbuckles my seat belt pulling me into a hug. “We’ll figure this out,” he says into my ear. “You are loved, Cherry. I promise you that. I love you and I’m pretty sure Linc does too. I saw the look on his face.”
“Thanks.” I sniffle.
“I’ll get Bailey. You go get your game face on before that man shows up over here.” I nod, heading into my place. It’s a silly thing to do but for the first time in a long time I want to get dressed up some. To remind Linc of the girl he left behind.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Linc
Driving over the bumpy road to get to Cherry’s place throws me back to the days when we were doing weekend gigs at local bars. We’d play our songs and then, sweaty from the performance, we’d come out to some backwoods gravel road, drink our contraband booze, and make love until the sun came up. Well, Cherry and I would make love. Nick and Benjy would be off doing their own thing.
My current routine is to play my set, shake hands with VIPs and take pictures with their daughters, do a local print interview or chat with a YouTuber, do some stupid thing with an influencer, go over a script for the next morning’s radio spot, and then fall into bed with my boots on and not wake up until noon the next day. The only action my dick sees is my hand and currently neither are interested in the other. Ever since Cherry broke up with me, I’ve had the dead dick syndrome. Nothing interests me. The hottest celeb could be shaking her bare, spangly ass in my face at some awards afterparty and all I would be thinking about is how unsanitary everything is in LA or Vegas.
My cock’s not dead now. I’ve been walking around with a hard-on since our car crossed the county line.
“You’re not getting any,” I tell the big guy. “She’s moved on. We’re getting her back, but I doubt she’s going to be in the mood after I decked her…” I trail off because I don’t want to give Brian any kind of designation that means he belongs in her life. Cherry’s mine. She’s always been mine. This is like a...hiatus. She went on a hiatus to find herself and had our baby and now I’m bringing her home.
I park the rental car out in front of the trailer and grab the flowers. It’s not the six dozen roses I sent her before, but if she’s going to throw them in my face, it’s better that I have a smaller bouquet and the stems aren’t filled with thorns. Besides, lilies are pretty and the tiger lily has the meaning of please love me—or so the florist said.
There are three short metal steps leading up to the front door of the trailer. The things are unsteady beneath my boots and I feel a surge of anger. She shouldn’t be living here. She should be in a fancy condo in LA, eating sushi and steak and getting her feet rubbed every night. I slam my fist against the door with more power than is necessary. The whole frame shakes.
The door opens and I have to duck out of the way so my nose doesn’t get taken off. Cherry stands in the entrance, a smirk on her face. “Lose your way?”
I take a step up, dwarfing her body. “No, ma’am. Exactly where I should be.” I slowly ease my way in, not hurting her, but letting her know that I’m here.
“Why don’t you go back to LA? I thought you loved it there.” She sniffs and turns into the small living room. As her back is turned, I fill my lungs with the scent of her and the baby. It’s fresh and clean and sweet and I just want to lie down and wait for it to soak into my skin. A quick glance around tells me that this place is mostly just Cherry and her child. Cherry’s penchant for color is evident in the bright red and white striped curtains over the sink and in the abstract art placemats on the table. Freshly washed bottles are sitting in the drying rack next to the sink. A red towel is draped over the edge. There aren’t discarded boots on the floor or a six pack of beer sitting on the counter. There’s nothing in this place that says a man lives here. It’s clean, neat, and feminine.
In the living room, Bailey is stretched out on the floor, her fist shoved in her mouth and her beautiful blue eyes closed. I want to pick the girl up in one hand, throw Cherry over my shoulder with the other and drive until Shindale is a distant memory. Why does Cherry love this place so much? What does it have that I don’t?
“It didn’t have you so I came home.”
“Nice story, but you’re not getting into my pants.”
“Maybe not today,” I acknowledge.
“Maybe not today?” she scoffs. “Try never.”
“I’ve never lied to you and I’m not going to start now. We’re getting back together, Cherry. You should start getting used to the idea.”
I walk over to the sink and grab a glass out of the cupboard on the right side where I instinctively knew it would be. Some things won’t ever change--like us being together.
“I’ve got a baby, you know.”
“I know.” I fill the cup and shove the flowers in it. The stems are too long so I set it in the sink in case it tips over.
“Then why are you here?”
I peer into the fridge. No beer here, either. She and Brian might be seeing each other or maybe they were dating at one time, but he’s not important enough in her life to keep a beer on ice for him. I smile grimly at that.
“Linc, what are you doing here?” she repeats.
I straighten and close the door. “I’m here to help you pack. I made some money, saved it up, and now we’re going to live that life we dreamed about, so it’s goodbye, Shindale. We’ve got six weeks off until the next leg of the tour starts, but we’re making enough money now that we’re flying between concerts instead of riding the bus. That should be better for Bailey. You’ll have to tell me if you want to get a nanny. Hal will arrange that for us.”
Her jaw drops. “What are you even saying? I’m not going anywhere. This is my home.”
“No.” I shake my head. “This is just a rental that you were staying in until I could fulfill my promise to you. I’m sorry it took so long.”
“You broke up with me.”
I rear back. “What? No. You’re the one that broke up with me. I distinctly remember your text that you were done and moving on.”
“You sent me the stupid text first saying that--” She breaks off and stomps to the sink, pushing me out of the way. She grabs the flowers out of the cup and slams them against my chest, the cold water dripping down the front of my T-shirt. “Take these fucking flowers and get the hell out of my home.”
At the loud noise, Bailey starts crying. I throw the flowers into the sink and cross the room to pick up the baby. There’s a bag by the door. I grab that and then start for the car.
“Where are you going?” Cherry yells, running after me.
“I’m taking my kid with me and you can either come or be left behind,” I bluff. As if I’d ever leave her again.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Cherry
I don’t panic. I stand here knowing very well that he won’t take Bailey from me. At least I think I still know him. But I never could have imagined that this last year would have gone down the way it did. None of it worked out the way it was supposed to. He forgot about me. Lived his life and left me behind. But that stuff is in the past. I have to move forward for our daughter’s sake.
I made it through, and even though he was gone, he’d left me with a piece of him. Bailey is the best of both of us and I wouldn’t change anything that happened if it meant her not being here. I continue watching as Linc keeps walking toward the door.<
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“Linc, knock it off,” I snap at him. Bailey starts to cry. “I need to feed her. I don’t have time for this. I have responsibilities.”
“Then grab a bottle.” I roll my eyes. “You can feed her in the car.”
“I haven't pumped. She’s going to eat off the tap.” I point to my boobs. They are already leaking because Bailey cried. His eyes drop to my tits. Desire swirls in my stomach. He could always do that to me with one look. I knew I wasn’t over him. I don’t think I’ll ever be. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to allow him to just walk back into my life after everything that happened. Even if he thought I was the one that broke up with him. He didn’t even try to fight for us, for me.
“Okay.” He carries her over to me. Seeing him with Bailey warms my heart in a way that I didn’t even know was possible.
“Baby girl,” I coo at her, taking her from Linc. He looks entirely too sexy holding a baby. I sit down on the sofa. Linc drops down right next to me, giving me no space at all.
“Can I have some privacy?”
“No, I want to watch. I’ve already missed so much.” I bite my tongue from saying That was your decision. He could have been here from the start. I could have been on the road with him. It would have been weird traveling with a baby, but we would have made it work. At least the Linc I remember would have. Even though this person sitting next to me is familiar, I no longer know him or what to expect from him. “She’s beautiful, Cherry. Please don’t shut me out of this.”
“Okay.” I don’t know why he’s had a change of heart about the baby, but I won’t keep her from him. I know Linc will be a good father. I pull my shirt up and bra down. Bailey latches right on to me without hesitation. Linc watches as I nurse her, making me suddenly feel shy around him. Which is absurd since he’s seen every part of me.
