by Ella Goode
“This is amazing.” He reaches for her, rubbing the back of her head as she nurses. “I’ve missed so much. You being pregnant. The birth.” He chokes out the last word. His eyes water. I can’t help but feel sorry for him. Even if it was his choice.
“Linc, you’re confusing me.”
He looks up at me. “It’s simple. You’re coming on the road with me. We’re leaving tonight.” I shake my head no. I’m not uprooting everything and Bailey. Not until I’m sure of Linc’s intentions, anyway.
“You have a gig here,” I remind him. He is playing the festival in two days.
“Right. Then I’ll stay here. You break up with your boyfriend?”
“What are you talking about? The only boyfriend I ever had dumped me,” I snip. How does he not remember this? He said I’d broken up with him. I guess I kind of did. I knew he wanted an out, so I gave it to him.
“No, that’s not what happened.”
“You thought I was cheating on you. I gave you an out and you took it. You didn't fight for us.”
He drops his head. “You’re not with Brian.”
“No. He’s my best friend and you should be nicer to him. He helps me take care of Bailey. He’s been here for me. If it weren’t for him and his family, I don’t know where Bailey and I would have ended up.” Linc’s jaw clenches. I can tell he’s fighting back anger. More likely jealousy. “You went to the strip club that night. You texted me from a strip club that I was cheating on you.”
“How did you know that?” He doesn't deny it. At least he’s not lying to me.
“Nick had it on his Instagram. We also share locations on our phones. Or we did.”
“It’s not what you think.” I let out a humorless laugh as I switch Bailey to my other breast. “It’s really not. Nick and Benjy wanted to go. I sat by the bathroom waiting for you to text me back.” I give him a skeptical look. “Then Miss D saw me and had me go into the back. I drowned my sorrows in a bottle. She’s become like a mom to all of us.”
“I used to take care of you guys.”
“Cherry.”
I cut him off, not wanting to talk about the fact that I was so easily replaced. Or how easily all of them let me go. I didn’t only lose Linc when we broke up, but Nick and Benjy hadn’t made an effort either.
“You don’t drink.” He really has changed.
“No, I quit. I’ll never drink another drop,” he pleads.
“I don’t care if you drink. That’s not the point. You’re just not who I remember. My Linc would have fought for us. He wouldn’t have given up so easily. And he would have never even asked me that stupid question to begin with.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry. I should have come back that night.” I stare at him. That was easier than I thought. Still, the hurt lingers. “I don’t care if you’ve been with other people.”
Just like that, my anger is back. “I have only ever been with you,” I grit out so that I don’t yell and scare Bailey. His mouth opens and closes but no words come out. “Can you say the same?”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Linc
I drop to my knees in front of Cherry. “Is that what you’ve been thinking, baby?” My heart is breaking. “That I cheated on you? That I touched another woman?”
“You just went to a strip club for shits and giggles?” A silent tear falls and she swipes it away angrily.
“No! I went because…” I can’t even remember anything from back then other than being miserable and missing Cherry. Then it hits me—we’d finished the album and the boys wanted to let off steam and I know instantly that explanation is not going to fly. “I didn’t know it was a strip club until we got there but I should’ve known better.”
“Damn straight you shoud’ve known better,” Cherry bites out.
“If you hit me, you might feel better,” I suggest.
“You wish.”
Bailey unlatches and Cherry instantly switches the baby to the other boob, as if the two are in sync. I’m fascinated by it and mad that I don’t have that connection with Bailey too. She doesn’t know me. In fact, if I think about it, she probably thinks Brian is her dad. “Did you name Bailey after Brian?”
“Did you get hit on the head with a surfboard while you were in LA?” Cherry scowls, tugging down the side of her shirt that was raised to expose her tit for Bailey. Her nipple is distended from the sucking and I know it’s not sexual for Bailey to eat but fuck, it is for me. I can’t stop my dick from swelling. I know I’m going to hell for this but I can’t see Cherry’s naked breast and her erect nipples and not immediately think of how red they would get when my mouth was attached to them.
I could suck on those babies for hours while scissoring my fingers in her juicy cunt and every time I’d take a deep draw, her pussy would contract and squeeze my digits tight. I could make her come like that, too, just finger-fucking her hard while sucking on her boobs. She’d cream on my hand. I’d lick that up and then pierce her with my cock while she was still orgasming. Some of her hardest climaxes came when I fucked her first with my hand or mouth and then pummeled her cunt with my diamond-hard cock.
I could do that right now. I could spread her legs, lean forward and mouth her right through the cotton. I bet I could make her wet. I bet I could make her com—
A towel slaps me across the face.
“I know what you’re thinking and you can just stop right now,” she orders. But her face is curiously flushed in a way that seems pretty recognizable to me.
I stick my tongue in the corner of my cheek to stop a smug smile from spreading across my face. I suspect if that happened, I’d get more than a towel across my face. I drag my thoughts from the gutter back on track.
“I did not get hit on the head with a surfboard as I cannot get on the surfboard to start with. Besides, the ocean is fucking cold and you know I hate the cold. Nick was the only one who surfed.”
“You still could get hit on the head. Nick’s only coordinated when he’s on the drummer’s seat.”
“I mean, fair, but I didn’t. Why’d you name her Bailey?” That had never been a name we talked about.
“It’s a pretty name and no one around me had used it before.” Her lashes fall over her eyes in an attempt to veil her feelings. That we’d never talked about the name is precisely why she’d picked it.
A different sort of ache blossoms in my chest. I clear my throat. I wasn’t there. I didn’t have a vote and I’m not going to make my girl feel bad for any choices she made while I was playing my guitar in LA. Even if it was Brian’s mom’s name, I’d accept it. “It’s perfect.”
I cup Bailey’s tiny head in my palm and the heat of her small body chases away all the chill. “I was in the wrong, Cherry. I should’ve turned around and walked away when we got dropped off there. Then I saw pictures of you and Brian. I thought it was bullshit at first and told everyone it was but it was fucking with me pretty bad. I missed you so damn bad and hated that other people got to be with you. I don’t get home sick. I get Cherry sick. I was a mess and I guess Nick thought this was the way to cheer me up.”
“Why? We were family and Nick wanted to help you cheat?”
“No, it wasn’t like that. Nick and Benjy had seen pictures of you with Brian and thought you wanted to move on. I wanted to call you but then I realized that if I did, you’d feel obligated to stay with me. I didn’t want to hold you back. Every time I asked you to come to LA, you said no so I figured you hated it. And the road isn’t great. It’s a new city every night. My sleep schedule is fucked up. I’m miserable because I don’t have you or that goddamned teddy bear. Look—” I take one of her hands. “I never touched another woman but you. I’ve never wanted another woman but you. I was prepared to be a monk for the rest of my life because there’s no point in sex or fucking or any of that if it’s not with you. You’re right that I didn’t fight for you, but you’re wrong to think I didn’t want to. I fought for you every day by staying away because I thought that was what
you wanted when every nerve in my body wanted me to get on a plane and drag you away, chain you to my side, keep you with me. But that was the most selfish thing I could do and I was already being selfish pursuing the music. But no more.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I’m giving it up. The music, LA, concerts. It’s done. I’m here to stay with you, raise our baby, and support you. I’m going to get a job at the factory and we’ll have a good life.” I press her hand to my mouth. “All you’ve got to do is say yes.”
Chapter Thirty
Cherry
“No.” I shake my head. He’s come too far to give it all up now. We’ve been through so much. It would make it all for nothing. There is no way that I could live with that. This misunderstanding between us has already robbed us of enough time. I won’t allow it to rob us of anything else.
“Cherry. I’m not really asking. If you're here I’m here.” Bailey stops sucking and I know she’s fallen back asleep. I stand, taking her to the bassinet. Linc watches me the whole time.
“I called.” I swallow, trying to fight the tears, needing to get all of it off my chest. I know that everything he said is true. I should have known better. Linc isn’t a liar. I could see the boys dragging him into that club because they wanted to have a good time and take his mind off things.
Linc has never even looked at another woman the way he looks at me. They always try to get his attention, but he doesn't even notice. I think that’s why him being at a strip club surprised me so much. Tangle that up with his text which came at the same time that I was viewing the Insta-story and it was the perfect mix for a disaster. It was what had sent me over the edge. Maybe the hormones had something to do with it too and got the best of me.
“You called?” His eyebrows furrow together.
“Yes, when I went into labor. I panicked so I called you. I knew I had to tell you about the baby. That me keeping it a secret from you wasn't right. That even though I was hurting, I wanted you to know that you were going to be a dad. That we had made something special from our love.”
“I never got a call.”
“Your manager answered. Said you wouldn't take any calls from me. I told him I was pregnant.” A tear escapes. Linc is on me immediately, picking me up before sitting on the couch with me in his lap. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t feel good to be in his arms again. A sense of peace settles over me even though the conversation we’re having is hard.
“What else did he say?” I can feel the anger roll off Linc in waves. He’s trying to keep it under control, but I can read him like no one else can. We’ve always had a special connection, which is why I’d been so hurt by his lack of fight for us.
I sniffle. “Baby, your tears are killing me.” He kisses my neck. God, this feels way too good. How did I go all these months without Linc? I should have left with him in the beginning, but I doubted myself. I doubted us. I’d become too focused on trying to get a degree in a field I didn't even want to be in. I’d made it through one semester and had to pull out because Bailey was born. I thought I’d be able to do everything, but reality had sunk in pretty quick.
As I stare into Linc’s eyes, I realize that we’ve lost so much time already and that I’m not willing to lose another second.
“Go on. I want to know it all.”
I nod, not wanting to say the last part, but I will for him. “He said it probably wasn't yours.” Linc’s hold on me tightens. “You did think I was with someone else,” I remind him.
“I didn't tell Hal that,” he grinds out between his clenched jaw. I touch his face, making him relax. “I know the baby is mine, but I wouldn't have cared if it was someone else's. You’re mine and that makes your babies mine too.”
I snort a laugh because that is ridiculous. I don’t tell him how wrong that would be because it's really kind of sweet. It also would never happen.
“I’m sorry,” I tell him.
“No, baby. I’m sorry. You were right. I should have fought for you. I never should have left without you. You were all alone and I know how much you hate that. I was so focused on making a future for us that I forgot about the present.”
“It was hard.” My bottom lip trembles. “I should have gone with you. I could have gotten my stupid GED or something. I don’t even know what I’m doing in college or what I want to do. What I have always known is I want to be with you.”
“We are staying. You can figure out what you want and go back to college. I know that having an education is important to you. This time I want to put what you want first.”
“No, you have to go back. This is not only your dream, but Benjy and Nick’s too. We’ll do better this time.” I am still mad at them, but I’ll deal with them later.
“I want to do whatever is best for you and our baby girl.”
“We’ll come with you. Then everyone gets what they want. I just want you.” His mouth comes down onto mine. I wrap my arms around him, kissing him back until we’re both breathless. Linc starts to pull on my clothes, but Bailey cries.
“I’ll get her.” He sits me down on the sofa before going over and picking Bailey up. “What last name did you give her?” He stares down at our daughter. I may have been upset with him but there was no way that I would have given her any other name than his.
“Yours.” I hate mine and everything it stands for. It was only a reminder of my parents and their lack of love for me. I would never attach it to anyone else.
“We have to get married.”
“We don’t have to.”
“Cherry, are you trying to kill me today?”
“We can get married.”
He comes over, sitting down next to me. “I went from having nothing to having it all.” He rocks Bailey in his arms. Seeing him like this makes it pretty hard for me to deny him anything. Plus, I know it's right. I may have thought our journey was over, but after today, I realize that it’s just beginning.
Chapter Thirty-One
Linc
“It’s so loud!” Cherry shouts. Her whole face is lit up in wonder. I’m probably wearing the same expression, although part of me is nervous as fuck. Nick’s in the bathroom throwing up the pint of vodka he downed to settle his nerves, while Benjy is in the corner running in place to burn off his anxiety.
Tonight we’re playing our first stadium concert, and while we might not lose our careers if we don’t go out and make everyone believe this is the best night of their lives, we don’t want to shit the bed either.
I pull Bailey out of Cherry’s arms on the pretense of making sure her little headphones are tight against her head. I always calm down when I’m holding Bailey. I guess because she reminds me that all of this could go in the shitter and I’d still be the luckiest man in the world. Who is doing it like me? No one. I have my best girl, Cherry, looking like a one of a kind deluxe dessert that you can only buy in the restaurant whose menu doesn’t have prices, standing two feet away from me. Above us a crowd of fifty thousand fans are rocking out to an indie metal musician who is opening for us. Me! A shithead from Shindale with a GED has fans, an opening band, a number one album, a Grammy nom. It’s too much.
But I paid for some of that good fortune. For over year, I was without Cherry. I missed the pregnancy, the first kick, the first smile, the first time Bailey lifted her head, the first time she rolled over. I missed it all because I was an ass. This whole thing could fall apart in a second. A chill rolls down my spine and the cheers are suddenly muffled. I need Cherry.
I walk over to Benjy and shove Bailey into his arms. I have my hand around Cherry’s wrist and am at the door in the next second.
“Wait a minute,” squawks Kate, our manager. We fired Hal—after I decked him. He turned out to be a huge dick because instead of taking the punch, he pressed charges and I had to sit in jail for forty-eight hours, miss a show and pay a fine. If I ever see him again, I’m going to hit him twice to make my time in jail worth it.
“You’ve got to be on st
age in fifteen minutes. Whatever you’re off to do can wait,” Kate says.
“Fifteen is fine.”
I push Cherry out the door before she comes to her senses. Down the hall is the private artist bathroom—the one where the other artists snort coke and pop pills. I spin her around so her back’s against the door and drop to my knees.
“Babe, do you really think this is a good idea?”
I’m not paying attention to any caution flags. My hands are up her short skirt, pulling her panties down to her ankles and then lifting her canvas tennis shoes out of the cotton. “Better hold on,” I tell her before diving in.
Her cunt tastes amazing. I wish I could bottle this and—nah, I want to drink from the source. My lips should be at this fucking tap every hour of every day. What a life that would be. I’d take a break to eat a steak and play with Bailey, but otherwise, I’d just be between her legs because her pussy is like the Garden of Eden, all pleasure and sweetness.
Ride me, baby. Fuck my face with your pussy, I silently tell her as I tongue the lyrics to my song Hard Candy against her cunt. Put that sweet hard candy on my tongue / Let it melt like ice in the summer sun / Touch that sweet hard candy with your tongue / we won’t tell anyone what you’ve done…
She shudders and pulls my hair, signaling it’s time for my cock in her hot sex. I rise, fumble with the zipper and then plunge into her. She moans.
“Like that, do you?” I grab a handful of tit and massage it with my hand. She’s riper since she had Bailey. She’s all curves and succulent flesh. I love it all.
“Yes. I need more.”
“More, huh?”
“You only have ten minutes.”
“It was fifteen.”
“You were on your knees for five.”
“A criminally short amount of time.” I reach under her ass and hitch her upward. “Hold on,” I warn. Then I pour all I’ve got into her. I pound into her, hard enough that the door shakes on its frame. Everyone on the other side probably knows what’s going on, but they knew the minute I grabbed Cherry’s hand because I can’t be around her and not want to be inside of her. “You’re going to get pregnant again,” I whisper harshly into her ear. “I’m going to fill you up with my cum, and you’re not wiping a drop of me off. You’re going to watch me up on that stage and while every woman in there screams my name, you’re going to feel my cum dripping down your thigh. Knowing I’ll only ever want you. No one else.”
