by Jo Bartlett
‘Some of the women in my group are just bloody b—’ Whatever expletive Beth had been about to use was cut off as another contraction took hold.
‘That’s it, you’re doing brilliantly, Beth, keep going.’ Anna was sure the next push would do it. ‘Do you want to come and look, Andy?’
‘God, no! I had to sit with my head between my knees for fifteen minutes after I watched Mindy, our cat, having one of her kittens in the summer. If Beth hadn’t already been pregnant, I’d have tried to talk her out of it. It might be natural, but it’s also pretty damn disturbing.’
‘Thank God the human race isn’t relying on men to keep topping up the numbers.’ Toni pursed her lips. ‘I take it you won’t be wanting to cut the cord when it’s time?’
‘Jesus Christ!’ Beth screamed the words again, as she finally pushed her baby into the world. Just as predicted, once his bottom was out, the next stage was fairly easy.
‘He’s here!’ Anna’s words were redundant as the baby gave a hearty cry, and Beth turned over so her son could be lifted onto her chest. Andy’s eyes never left the little boy’s face, but thankfully he wasn’t giving any indication he was about to pass out.
‘Is the baby okay?’ Beth looked up at Anna, and she nodded.
‘He looks perfect. I’ll check him over properly in a minute, but all the signs look good. He’s a great colour and he’s got a very healthy sounding pair of lungs!’
‘I think that calls for a cup of tea, don’t you?’ Toni was already edging towards the bedroom door. In the end, there were more midwives than there needed to be. Beth could probably have given birth all on her own if she’d had to. To go through a breech birth without any pain relief was incredibly impressive by anyone’s standards. She’d even refused medication to help deliver the placenta; she was determined the experience would be as natural as possible.
‘Tea would be good.’ Anna shivered as the window rattled, battered by the storm still raging outside. As soon as she was sure Beth and the baby were okay, she’d leave Toni to it. Coming to help had been the right thing to do, but the more the hands of the clock slid round with no sign of Brae and Dan, the more difficult she was finding it to imagine a good outcome. Whether it was the right thing to do or not, she had to go down to the lifeboat station so she’d be there as soon as the news came in. She was certain Ella would want to do the same.
The two of them had found a rhythm of working together; they could anticipate what the other one was going to do without having to talk it all through, and today was no different. As they waited for the third stage of labour to complete, Anna checked the baby – who as yet still had no name – and Ella ran through some checks with Beth.
‘Your heart rate has shot up a bit. It might be down to the adrenaline high of the delivery, but I’d like to monitor it, just to make sure.’ Ella’s voice wouldn’t have given anything away, but Anna saw the flicker of concern in her eyes. This was more than just a mild fluctuation.
‘Here’s your little boy, all ready for another cuddle.’ Anna handed the baby back to Beth; he was wrapped in a blanket now, his little rosebud lips already pursing and relaxing in anticipation of his first feed.
‘He’s beautiful.’ Beth looked down at the baby, but as she looked up again all the colour seemed to drain from her face. ‘I feel really dizzy.’
‘Ella, can you take Beth’s blood pressure, please?’ Even as Anna gave the instruction, Ella was already repeating the check, the flicker of concern in her eyes growing by the second.
‘It’s really low.’
‘She’s bleeding.’ Anna spoke in a low register trying not to make Beth panic and Ella nodded. ‘I think you might be having a bit of difficulty delivering the placenta, Beth. I know you didn’t want the oxytocin, but I really think we need it now and it should help stop the bleeding until the ambulance gets here. Then they can take a proper look at the hospital.’
‘I don’t mind having the injection, but I don’t want to go in.’ Despite her protests, Beth slumped against the pillow and Andy lifted his son into his arms.
‘Is she going to be okay?’
‘We just need to get the placenta out, so we can stop the bleeding.’ Anna’s voice was only slightly steadier than her hands as she loaded the syringe. This was nothing she hadn’t done before, but if she’d been distracted and Beth paid the price for that – because of what was going on with Dan and Brae – she wouldn’t be able to live with herself.
‘Tea’s up!’ As Toni opened the bedroom door, Anna cut her off. ‘Can you check on what’s happened with the ambulance, please? Beth’s having some problems with the placenta.’ She didn’t have to spell out to Toni what they were dealing with. The last thing Beth or Andy needed was to panic.
‘Of course. Do you want me to do anything else?’ Toni’s eyes widened. They’d all been nervous about the position of the baby, but that had turned out to be the easy bit.
‘No, I’m going to give Beth some oxytocin, then I’ll try CCT. Hopefully the placenta will deliver before the ambulance arrives and they’ll just need to check at the hospital that it’s complete.’ CCT involved putting controlled traction on the cord, to help deliver the placenta. It might be a bit uncomfortable for Beth, but it was the best way to stop the bleeding. If that didn’t work, they had one more option – to remove the placenta manually. But that was risky, and Anna was already praying like hell that the ambulance would arrive before she had to do it.
Beth’s eyelids were flickering now and if her long dark hair hadn’t been fanned out across the white pillowcase, she might have blended into it completely, given the pallor of her skin.
‘I’m going to give you some fluids that contain electrolytes and minerals, because of how much this is taking out of you. Then Ella’s going to clamp and cut the cord. I know you wanted to wait, but with the bleeding we can’t afford to delay it as planned.’ Anna gestured towards Ella, who nodded. It was the best they could do until the ambulance got there.
Anna administered the oxytocin, before hooking up the bag of fluids. If they could stop the bleeding and keep Beth stable until they got her to hospital, then she’d be okay. If she saved Beth, then surely karma would reward her with having Brae back in one piece too? Either way, she’d do everything she could.
‘Okay, Beth, I’m going to apply some pressure on the cord with your next contraction and counter pressure on your uterus at the same time. It might feel a bit uncomfortable and I’m really sorry if I hurt you.’ Anna talked herself through the process in her head. It was something she’d done plenty of times before with planned management of the third stage, but it was different doing it because of an emergency. The worst thing she could do was apply too much pressure and make the situation even more dangerous. ‘When the contraction comes I want you to push just like you did to get baby out.’
‘Let me know if you need me to take over.’ Ella understood better than anyone the tension that seemed to be gripping Anna’s spine. One mistake could be catastrophic, but having her there to share the burden made all the difference.
‘Thanks, I’ll let you know, but the oxytocin seems to be kicking in. I can feel her uterus contracting. Okay, come on, Beth, one last push.’ Anna held her breath as she applied the pressure again and thirty seconds later the third stage of labour was finally complete. ‘Well done, sweetheart, you’ve done it.’
‘Is she going to be okay?’ Andy, who hadn’t said a word since he’d been passed his newborn son, was almost as pale as his wife. Somehow he’d managed to stay upright throughout all the drama, though.
‘She should be fine now, we just need to monitor her until the ambulance gets here. She must be exhausted, though, so try not to worry if she’s quiet.’ Anna kept her tone as gentle as she could, but he still looked as if he might burst into tears at any moment.
‘Her heart rate and blood pressure have stabilised a bit.’ Ella managed a smile, as she looked up at Anna, just as Toni came back into the room.
‘T
he ambulance is only five minutes away now.’ Toni was breathless, having obviously run back up the stairs. ‘It took me ages to find out what was going on. There were two dispatched, but the first one was diverted to attend to some fishermen who were picked up by the lifeboat crew.’
‘It must be the job the lads were out on.’ Andy was still rocking his son in his arms, his eyes darting towards his wife every few seconds, checking she was okay.
‘If they’ve sent an ambulance, that has to mean they’re alive, doesn’t it?’ Anna turned to Ella, who’d given up on trying to stop the tears.
‘God, I hope so.’
‘What’s going on?’ Toni looked from Anna to Ella and back again.
‘Brae and Dan were out in their boat when the storm hit and they got into trouble. But when the lifeboat got there, there was no sign of them.’
‘It’s your husbands who are missing?’ Andy looked mortified. ‘I’m so sorry! I’d never have said that stuff about how much danger they were in if I’d known.’
‘It’s okay, we’re just so grateful that the crew kept looking for them. That’s why we had to come here and help Beth.’ Anna wasn’t about to waste time explaining that she and Ella weren’t actually married to Dan and Brae. She’d had to grab the rail of the bed just to stay on her feet as it was. ‘I just want to know if they’re okay, or whether… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be burdening you with all of this, while you’re waiting for an ambulance for Beth.’
‘She’s definitely going to be okay, isn’t she?’ Andy paused as Anna nodded. With Beth’s heart rate and blood pressure moving in the right direction, she was as sure as she could be that they’d done enough to get her safely to the hospital. ‘That means I owe you everything and I’ll do whatever I can to repay the favour. If you take the baby, I’ll ring one of the crew. They should be able to tell me what’s going on.’
Andy was gone for two minutes at most, but it seemed to last forever. No one spoke, as if they were all holding their breath for the verdict when he returned.
‘It’s good news. They’re being transferred to Truro by ambulance. It looks like they’re suffering from exposure and they need to get checked over, but they’re okay.’ Andy had hardly got the words out, before the sound of a wailing siren filled the air. Anna’s whole body seemed to slump with relief and if Ella hadn’t pulled her into a hug, she might not have managed to stay on her feet.
‘They’re okay, it’s going to be okay.’ Ella repeated Andy’s words as she held Anna up.
‘Thank God.’ She still felt as if her heart could burst through her chest at any minute and, until she saw Brae, she couldn’t quite let herself believe it.
A flurry of thank yous – that would never be enough – were exchanged as Toni let the paramedics in, and Beth, the baby and Andy were loaded into the ambulance.
‘I’ll go with them, in case the crew need a hand with anything.’ Toni wasn’t going to get any argument from Anna or Ella; they had their own hospital dash to make. ‘I still can’t believe what a day it’s been. There was me thinking that finding a grey hair in my eyebrow was going to be the biggest drama of my day.’
‘In your eyebrow? Just pull it out.’ Anna was still feeling giddy with relief, as she peered at Toni.
‘Well, maybe not my eyebrow.’ Toni gestured downwards and started to laugh. When Ella joined in, Anna couldn’t help following suit. It might have been bordering on hysteria, but they could so easily have found themselves unable to imagine ever laughing again.
3
As Ella screeched to a halt in the outpatients’ car park, she’d have done a stunt woman in a TV cop show proud. The adrenaline surge from feeling like she couldn’t possibly get there soon enough, no matter how fast she went, was still coursing through her veins, but Anna seemed rooted to the spot.
‘Are you okay?’ Even as Ella asked the question, the answer was obvious. Anna was far from okay. Her face had even less colour than the white knuckles on her left hand, which were gripping the roof handle as if her life depended upon it. Surely Ella’s driving hadn’t been that bad?
‘I can’t believe I was standing there laughing with Toni when we don’t know for sure if the boys are okay. What if Andy has it wrong and one of them is seriously injured? Once I go inside the hospital and they say the words, things won’t ever be the same again. I’ve been there before.’ Anna turned towards her.
‘I know what happened with your dad was a terrible shock, but it won’t happen again.’ Ella shook her head, not truly able to comprehend what her friend had been through. Shock was an understatement. Anna had told her the story the year before; her father had died late in the evening on the day before Valentine’s Day, and all Anna could remember about the doctor who’d told her was that she was wearing a pair of flashing love heart earrings. A group of drunks, who’d got bored of waiting to be patched up in A & E, had barged into the relatives’ room singing an X-rated version of ‘All You Need is Love’, just as the doctor had broken the news. Now the prospect that Brae might be taken away from her too, was paralysing Anna with fear.
‘I know I’m being ridiculous, but I’ve just got this sense of foreboding that something is going to go wrong and I’m not going to end up marrying Brae. I can’t explain it, but it feels like a physical lump is lodged in my throat.’
‘It’s the anniversary of losing your mum tomorrow, isn’t it?’
‘I can’t believe you remembered.’ Anna squeezed her hand and Ella nodded. She’d already ordered flowers to be delivered the next day, to mark the occasion. In three weeks’ time it would be the anniversary of Anna losing her dad and she’d do the same thing then too. Ella hadn’t always appreciated having her own parents slap bang in the middle of her life, even when she didn’t want them to be, but the more Anna revealed about losing her mum and dad, the more Ella realised how lucky she was.
‘Of course I remembered.’
‘Seventeen years.’ Anna sighed. ‘It won’t be long before I’ve lived half my life without them around.’
‘I can’t even imagine what that’s like.’
‘I feel almost guilty for how happy I’ve been lately with Brae and you, and the rest of the team at the unit feeling like a surrogate family of sorts these days.’ Anna smiled though her tears. ‘But I know that’s what Mum and Dad would have wanted for me and they’d have loved Brae.’
‘Everyone loves Brae, but especially you.’ Ella let go of her friend’s hand and opened the car door. ‘We need to go and find him, so you can tell him and I’m going to tell Dan just how much I love him too.’
‘I will.’ Anna looked at her across the roof of the car as they both climbed out. ‘Right after I’ve killed him for taking that bloody boat out in January and taking such a stupid risk.’
‘I can already see who’s going to be the disciplinarian when you two have kids!’ Ella caught herself a second too late and the words were already out. Anna had confided her fears that she and Brae might never conceive and they’d already been trying for over a year.
‘Brae couldn’t tell anyone off if he tried, he’s too nice for his own good and it’s just one of the reasons why I love him.’ Anna bit her lip. ‘But the more time goes past the more I’m worried that it might never happen for us and that I’ll never be part of a family again.’
‘I’m sure it will happen.’ Ella offered up a silent prayer that she wouldn’t be proved a liar. ‘But even if it doesn’t, you’ve got Brae and what you have is more than most people ever get.’
‘I know that, I really do, and I’m trying so hard to be as grateful as I should be for all of that.’ Anna tried and failed to paint on a smile. ‘I just want that sense of belonging that I had with Mum and Dad, reliving those traditions that were unique to our family. The idea that I might get that back one day was the only thing that got me through when I lost them and I don’t know how to come to terms with the fact that I might have lost that too, before I even got it. I’m just hoping I won’t have to…’
/> ‘There are lots of ways to make a family—’ Ella had been about to say that not all of those included having children, but Anna cut her off and this time her smile actually looked like it was meant to be there.
‘I know, but I’m not thinking about that for now. All that matters is that Brae and Dan are okay. As long as I’ve got Brae, I’ll get through it, whatever happens.’ She linked an arm through Ella’s and they ran across the car park, as it started to spatter with rain again. However much Anna might be worrying about falling pregnant, she was right. All that mattered for now was finding Brae and Dan, and Anna wouldn’t be the only one who had a few choice words to say when they did.
Brae had the same sort of hangdog look on his face that he wore every time Anna caught him cheating on their pre-wedding diet pact. Not that she cared if he lost a stone or put on five, she loved every inch of him. But it had been his idea to try and get trim for the wedding, after gaining a pound for every month they’d been together. So finding paper bags, with the Mehenicks’ bakery logo stamped on the front, crumpled up in the footwell of his car on a regular basis, had resulted in plenty of those looks.
‘I’m sorry.’ He barely had the chance to get the words out before Anna flung herself at him. She’d fully intended to give him a hard time and tell him just how stupid he’d been. But seeing him sitting there on the bed in the hospital cubicle, the living and breathing embodiment of everything that was most important in her world, all she wanted to do was hold on to him and never let go.
‘You’re an idiot.’ The words were muffled as he folded her into his arms.
‘I know. The only thing I could think about was that I might never see you again. It took me all these years to find someone who could put up with me, and who actually seemed to want to, and I almost blew it.’ Brae was holding her so close, she could hardly breathe and she couldn’t tell if it was his heart she could hear, or her own heartbeat pulsating in her ears again.
