Ransom: Dead Ringers MC Book 2

by Deja Voss

  Even worse, was I going to really like her? What if she didn’t like me back? What if she couldn’t forgive me for what I did. What if she was in love with Ransom and was going to take him away from me? What if she was planning on killing me?

  I knew I was being incredibly outrageous, but the more I laid there, the wilder my mind went. Instead of tossing and turning, I got up, laced up my shoes, grabbed Juniper’s leash, and her and I ran through the trails behind Ransom’s property just like we did back in our West Virginia days.

  It was obvious even after a couple weeks of doing nothing but sleeping, fucking, eating, and watching TV, I was definitely a little out of shape, but that’s probably a blessing. Whenever I’m sad or scared or anxious, running so hard I feel like I’m going to black out seems to be a temporary fix. Fortunately in my condition, I didn’t have to run that hard or that far to find my zen. Before long, the sun was rising over the mountains, chipmunks were darting back and forth across the dirt path, stuffing their cheeks with acorns and seeds, and the finches are flitting from the treetops in bursts of gold and gray blurs.

  In that hour of nature immersion I nearly forgot about what today was going to bring, but as soon as I got back inside and chugged some water and started fixing a pot of coffee, my body relaxed and my brain started going bonkers.

  “Annabella,” he says, snapping me out of my trance. “Are you alright?”

  “I’m not good at people. I have a hard time relating to them. I say stupid stuff because I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.”

  “Driller and Pearl aren’t people, Annabella,” he says, patting me on the ass. “They’re family. You can pretty much say whatever you want and I’m sure they’ll get over it.”

  I laugh and peck him on the lips as I head to the shower. I peel off my sweaty running clothes, amazed that Ransom was even willing to touch me because I stink so bad. He’s definitely not right in the head for being so smitten by me even at my grossest, but I guess that’s just another reason why I don’t have to worry about him straying.

  I cringe as I catch a glimpse of my scars in the mirror, and I realize that’s probably a big reason why I’m dreading this talk with Pearl. I know I’m not good at people. I know I have a hard time relating to them. I come off as a cold bitch because the world made me that way. The only way I can make people understand me is by opening up…

  And that’s just as painful as ripping open my scars and letting them bleed.

  I let the water pelt down over my head and massage shampoo onto my scalp. I stand in the shower so long, the water turns to cold, and even then, I try to stand there a little longer. I know what getting out means, and I don’t know if I’m ready to face this day.

  When I step out of the shower, there’s a cup of coffee waiting for me on the sink. I quickly towel off and put it to my lips, knowing it’s going to be just how I like it because he’s absolutely perfect.

  I head to the bedroom and the bed is made up neatly, but it’s covered in shopping bags. “Ransom!” I shout. “What is all this?”

  “I don’t know if you’re gonna like any of it. You don’t have to. We can take it all back.”

  I pick up a bag and look inside, and I start jumping up and down like a little kid. There are jeans, blouses, t-shirts, leggings, everything from cute and casual to over the top sexy, and I feel like a spoiled bitch as I pull out piece after piece and hold it up to my body.

  “When did you have time to do this?” I ask.

  “I didn’t. This was all Romeo. He told his daughters to pick some stuff out for you to hold you over until I could take you myself. They went a little overboard.”

  I pull out a pair of gray tie dye leggings and a long black tunic top and put it on, feeling like a million bucks. I look at myself in the mirror and smile. “They did amazing. I swear, as soon as I get back on my feet I will make sure I pay him back.”

  Ransom helps me fold everything that needs to go in the drawers and hang everything that needs to go in the closet. I tremble with joy the entire time, and it’s not just because I officially have the best wardrobe I’ve ever had in my entire life. It’s because these people who hardly even know me, these people who wanted to rip me to shreds a few short weeks ago, are going out of their way to give me a home.

  I can see the pride on Ransom’s face as he lines up his side of the closet and my side of the closet, like it’s official. I’m not just here for a few nights anymore. I’m not going anywhere. We both know it.

  “That’s really kind of him,” I say. “I would’ve never guessed he was so caring. I can tell he loves you a lot.”

  “I guess I never really told you much about him, but he’s been the closest thing to a father I ever had. He’s the only reason why I’m a mechanic. He took me in when nobody else would even look me in the eye.” I can tell he’s choking up a little bit, and my heart fills with warmth for him.

  “I’m glad he came and found us,” I say. “You belong here with your family, Ransom.”

  “You belong here, Annabella. You’re a part of our family now.”

  I feel beautiful. I feel comfortable. I feel like I finally have a place in the world, even if it’s nothing like I pictured it. I feel confident enough to face my sister.

  I hug him close. Juniper comes running back in the bedroom and starts barking, and the sound of a motorcycle roars from the driveway. “Let’s do this,” I say.

  “You know if it gets too hard for you, I’ll make it stop. Nobody’s gonna hurt you. Nobody’s gonna judge you. We all have to be on the same page eventually.”

  “I guess it might as well be now,” I say. “Do I look presentable?”

  “Babe, you are gorgeous no matter what you’re wearing. You’re perfect. But yes.” He grabs my hand in his and we walk out into the living room. I take a deep breath. It’s time for me to meet the sister I never knew I had.

  31

  I am shaking like a leaf as Ransom opens the front door. Driller walks right in, but Pearl stands in the doorway, looking about as terrified as I feel. It’s a relief. I figured she would be all confidence and the bigger person person like she was the first time I officially met her. I don’t know if I could’ve handled that.

  Driller looks at Ransom and smiles super wide. “You sure this a good idea? I don’t know if I can handle two of em.”

  I laugh nervously and extend my hand to him. “I’m Annabella. I know the last time we met it wasn’t exactly on great terms.” Last time we met, I knocked him out cold. I’m surprised when he just shakes my hand and chuckles.

  “Listen, babe, I don’t hold any beef over that. You were doing what you had to do. I am a little pissed you tried to run off with my best friend without even saying goodbye, though.”

  “You’re gonna have to take that up with him,” I say teasingly. “I’m just along for the ride.”

  Pearl steps in the door, and I can tell she’s cautiously taking in the scene. Her hair is up in a bun on top of her head and her eyes look sunken in like she hasn’t slept in days. I feel like I’m looking in a mirror, minus all the tattoos she has. I catch myself staring at them, trying to make sense of them, wondering if there’s a story behind each one or if they’re just art she likes. Either way, they look perfect on her.

  “Hey, girl,” Ransom says to her. “Come on in, make yourself comfortable.”

  She laughs nervously. “I don’t know if that’s possible unless you have a secret stash of Valium you’re not telling any of us about.”

  I laugh as I walk towards her. She smells like patchouli and outside. She smells like my mother. As I pull her in for a hug, I realize I have no reason to be jealous of this woman. If anything, I feel sad that she never got to know our mom. The three of us would’ve had so much fun together, and judging by what everyone says about Vinnie, I ended up with the better parent at the end of the day. Even though all the pain, all the drama, all the past, I had something she never had the luxury of having. I had a great mom who would do anythi
ng for me.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t know about you, Annabella,” she says. “I’m sorry nobody ever told me about you. If I had any idea, I would’ve did whatever I could to get to you.”

  “Please don’t feel bad. I never knew about you either.”

  My face gets wet with tears.

  “I’m gonna do whatever I can to make it right, Annabella.”

  “You’re not mad about dad?” I ask.

  She steps back and looks at me. Her eyes are watering, too. “I’m still processing. I know my dad did a lot of shitty things when he was alive. He wasn’t the father of the year by any means at all. I never wished him dead, obviously, but in the last few years of his life, I did everything I could to put a distance between us. I loved him, but he was all I knew for a parent. As a kid you don’t know any better. I certainly didn’t have any idea he was hiding such a dark secret. Had I known when he was still alive, I might’ve been the one who killed him myself.”

  I smile and reach out for her hand, squeezing it. I can’t stop touching her. It’s so surreal, like a piece of me that’s been missing my whole life is suddenly restored. I want to hate her, but I can’t. I want to push her away, but I won’t. As much as I miss my mother, I feel like having Pearl in my life is bringing me close to her again.

  “Let me get you something to drink,” I say. “Come sit down. We have so much to talk about.”

  She follows me in the kitchen and I fix myself a cup of coffee and offer her one, but she grabs a water bottle out of the fridge.

  Ransom and Driller are standing in the doorway watching us like animals in the zoo, hands in their pockets, jaws open, like they’re just waiting for us to do something exciting. You’d think Pearl and I would be the ones acting awkward, but it’s these two goofballs.

  “Don’t you two have something to do?” she asks. “Like literally anything other than what you’re doing right now?”

  “What?” Driller asks, shrugging and pretending like he has no idea what she’s talking about.

  “You guys are lucky you’re so good looking,” I tease. “Come on, Pearl, let’s go sit out on the porch and talk.”

  “We’ll be out in the garage.” I give him a quick hug and kiss. “Come get me if you need me.”

  I so thankful for his willingness to hold my hand through all this, but I know if Pearl and I are going to make any progress, I need to be alone with her.

  It’s a beautiful fall afternoon, the sun is hot, but the breeze is cool and it carries that smell that I only ever knew as change. Life definitely is changing, and like the trees shedding the leaves, parts of me are dying, too. Parts of me that don’t serve me anymore, like my unwillingness to get close to anybody.

  We sit in the rocking chairs and stare out over the front yard. There’s millions of things I want to talk to her about, but I suddenly feel tongue tied.

  “This was really hard for me,” she blurts out. “Coming over here and talking to you. Ever since I found out about you, I’ve been a mess. I keep replaying my life over and over again trying to figure out if I missed something. My dad… our dad… he was drunk and high most of the time. You’d think in his altered state he would’ve said something about what he did to our mom. He probably did. I was just too wrapped up in my own bullshit to listen.”

  “What difference would it have made?” I ask. I know it sounds snarky, but even if our father had somehow leaked that he traded our mother to get out of debt, how would she even know where to start. “I’m personally glad you didn’t know. It wasn’t your cross to bear. I’m glad one of us had a chance to live a reasonably normal life.”

  “Well, you’re a better person than I am,” she says with a nervous laugh. She stares off into the yard, chewing away at her fingernails until they start bleeding.

  “You know what I was most afraid of about talking to you?” I ask. “I was afraid I was going to like you. Hating you would’ve been just so much easier.”

  She chuckles loud and hard, and it’s contagious. “You know what I was afraid of? That I was a terrible person for believing your story about our dad without question.”

  “But you did?”

  “Absolutely. One hundred percent without a doubt. I know that makes me a shitty daughter, but I saw him at his worst from the time I was too young to even know what that meant. It was hard because everybody loved him, everybody respected him. Everybody wanted to be his best friend. He was a fucking amazing artist and he knew how to party. He definitely didn’t know anything about parenting.”

  “Well I appreciate that.”

  “What was mom like?” she asks. She stares me in the eye, and it makes me feel weird because other than the tattoos and the hair, it feels like my mom herself is asking me that question. I feel like it’s a trap.

  “You don’t have to tell me anything that makes you uncomfortable. I know I can’t just breeze in here and expect you to open up to me.”

  “Sorry,” I mutter. “It’s just… you look so much like her.” I squeeze my eyes shut tight, trying to shake the tears from flowing. “She was an amazing mom. She did everything in her power to give me the best childhood she could with the circumstances we were living in. She went without so that I always had food to eat. She threw herself to the lions so they would leave me alone. She made sure I learned to read and write even though it was very dangerous.”

  Her eyes grow wide and her jaw drops a little. She grabs my hand and I start sobbing.

  “They hurt her so bad, Pearl. I don’t know how she didn’t crack. I didn’t know any better, but she did. All I knew was her love for me was my safety, and everything else was just darkness. I didn’t know what life looked like outside of our little room, but I knew she never gave up hope.”

  “They hurt you, too.”

  I just nod. “Watching how they hurt mom was worse than anything they could’ve done to me,” I say. “That’s what hurt the most.”

  She pulls me in for a hug and I let her. I just lose it in her arms, crying so hard my throat feels raw and snot pours from my nose. She never had the chance to know our mother, and she missed out. I wouldn’t change one part of my fucked up life if it meant I didn’t get to have my mom.

  Now she’s crying, too, and I can’t help but wonder if my mom is here with us now. The way the sunlight is warming my skin makes me want to believe.

  “I don’t know why she never said anything about you, Pearl. If I knew I had a sister I would’ve done anything to meet you. I’m so sorry. I feel so bad.”

  She grips my shoulders as she pulls away, staring me in the eye. “You owe no one an apology. Neither of us do.” Our foreheads touch as we hold hands and just cry, letting out an entire lifetime of pent up choices the people we trusted the most made on our behalf. It feels so good to suddenly have a kindred spirit.

  A clunk comes from across the porch as the window screen falls to the ground. Ransom and Driller are trying to look innocent as they back away from the window like a couple of children who just got caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

  “You guys are out of control,” she shouts, laughing through her sobs. “Come on out here. We’re all a family now. No more secrets.”

  They come out onto the porch and I let Ransom take me in his arms, hugging me tight. He kisses the top of my head and smooths his fingers through my hair. Kid is supposed to be calling shortly so we can discuss the final piece to our plan.

  At this point, getting rid of Stoney is going to be like shooting fish in a barrel. He’s been moved to an extended care facility, and he’s basically a vegetable. With Romeo in on the plan, it’s going to be even easier.

  “Speaking of no more secrets,” Driller says. “We have some news for you guys.”

  Pearl shakes her head and grips his hand. “Not now,” she mutters under her breath. Driller looks hurt and confused.

  “What the hell, Pearl? I thought we were going to tell them.”

  “Not today. Today isn’t about you and me. It’s about me a
nd Annabella and how we’re going to take care of shit so she can go on with her life.”

  “It’s okay,” I say. To be honest, all this attention is making me anxious. As much as I like being here with my sister, I hate being this precious victim. I hate knowing that everybody feels bad for me. I hate the fact that if they knew the whole truth, they’d probably feel even worse for me. “Tell us, Driller.”

  “We’re going to have a baby!” he blurts out. “I know it’s really soon, but you know I’ve always wanted to be a father, and Pearl’s gonna be such a good mother. With everything being so fucked up right now, it’s such a blessing.”

  Pearl smiles, but she looks really anxious.

  “Congratulations,” I say, trying to sound as warm as possible. I don’t know why I can’t be happy for them. Maybe it’s because I know Ransom wants a baby more than anything in the world and this might make him feel jealous.

  Maybe it’s because of the timing.

  My jaw opens and I go to say something stupid.

  “It really sucks having to keep this all on the down-low,” Pearl says. “Not just the baby… you guys getting together. I just wish we could act normal, like nothing ever happened. Now that I have a sister, having to pretend like I hate you is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.”

  I roll my eyes. The longer she talks, the angrier I get.

  “My old man is a disaster,” Driller says. “All he does is sit by Stoney’s bed all day every day, waiting for something to happen. I don’t think he’s ready to let go of his brother. Honestly, Stoney dying might be the only thing to snap him out of his funk. You know I’m not good at keeping secrets.”

  “Obviously,” Pearl says, shaking her head.

  Ransom and I know that, too. Romeo, too. Which is why nobody is in on the plan except the three of us. Not even Kid. And to think just a few short minutes ago I thought everything was going to be perfect between the two of us. I thought I finally found my person I could confide in.

  The way she’s being so deceptive, avoiding the subject, I know clear as day she probably is thinking the same thing I’m thinking.