by Anya Summers
Chapter 6
Jenna quietly paced the floor in her room, attempting to soothe Liam. It was definitely the largest room she’d ever called her own, that was for certain, and gave her a ton of room to walk the floor with her little man. There was an elegant, canopied, four-poster king-sized bed, the walnut and marble structure covered with acres of soft blankets, fluffy pillows, and the smoothest sheets imaginable, all in a feminine periwinkle blue. All the furniture in the room, from the twin nightstands to the dresser and armoire, matched the bed. It was an actual bedroom set. That shouldn’t have surprised her any more than the rest of the place.
The floors in the bedroom were wooden and gleamed in a blond honey walnut. There was a bank of windows along one wall, and a seating area with a pair of dark brown leather chairs complete with matching ottomans. Beside them was a rocking chair that didn’t match the rest of the furniture. Something told Jenna Carter had salvaged it from another part of the house. She had her own bathroom which was larger than the kitchen at her shared apartment with Meghan. Inside there was a luxurious shower stall with a clear glass enclosure, and a bathtub that she could imagine taking a long hot bubble bath within. It was feminine in appearance, ivory marble with veins of light gray running through it on the counter and tub. The granite tile floor in ivory complemented the slate blue walls.
Jenna had unpacked her clothes and hung them up in the large walk-in closet, marveling at all the space. The room was bigger than her apartment on Pleasure Island. Her possessions didn’t even take up an eighth of the closet. As she’d hung them up, even though they were clean, she’d felt a bit like a pauper. Just how well off was Carter, and why did it matter?
Because it worried her, even after they’d cleared the air at dinner. The owner of her dad’s assisted living facility had sat her down in his office, his suit alone worth more than Jenna made in a month, and insisted the final bills she was protesting were legitimate. He’d threatened legal action if she didn’t pay every cent.
She shoved the unhappy memory away. It was over. She had paid the man. Used what little surplus there was from the sale of her parents’ home to help wipe the slate clean. And Carter was better than that jerk with his fancy suit and luxury car.
Jenna had used the top drawer of the swanky dresser for Liam’s clothing and then in the second she stored the extra diapers, wipes, blankets. She’d reorganize if the living arrangement here became permanent, putting the mat from his diaper bag on top of the dresser to create a changing station.
Liam’s cries escalated as she ambled with him, swaying back and forth as she walked to try and soothe him. His poor tummy could be so finicky and acidic at times. The pediatrician had suggested getting him on some medicine to help with his acid reflux. She’d refused, hoping it would ease on its own a bit. Yet her little man’s tummy wasn’t getting better. She’d contact the doctor on Monday and have him write the script for her. Maybe she could go with Dottie when she did the shopping for the week.
“Hush, honey. Oh, I know your tummy doesn’t feel good,” she murmured, so sad at his discomfort. And then the front of her tank top and chest grew wet. Liam had spit up and it trailed down her front. Holding him away from her with one arm, she spot cleaned as best she could.
Liam screamed, his face scrunched in fury at having spit up. His cries escalated. He normally pooped after he spit up. And then the smell hit her. Yep, now he had a dirty diaper, which seemed to enrage her little man further.
This was their nightly routine. She woke up to him fussing, he would spit up a bit, poop. Then she would clean him up, feed him, and rock him back to sleep.
She was just fastening a clean diaper on him when Carter barged into her room looking wide-eyed and panicked, in nothing but a pair of dark gray boxer briefs, showing acres of chest muscles, his dark chestnut hair tousled with bed-head. She’d forgotten how good the man looked without his clothes on. Her gaze raked over his form, remembering how he had felt beneath her hands.
“Is something wrong? What do you need me to do?” Carter asked, looking at Liam’s angry red face as he howled.
“Nothing. Sorry we woke you. He’s okay, just a bit of gas and an upset tummy. Liam has a tender stomach, is all, which is perfectly normal for newborns, and this seems to be our nightly routine. Don’t you, my love?” she said to Liam, scooping him up off the makeshift changing table.
“Can I help?” Carter asked. Carter was so damn earnest in his offer. He truly wanted to aid her and Liam. If he really wanted to be a part of it, then she would let him.
“Actually, yes. If you could hold him for a minute so I can change, that would be great. He spit up down my front and I’d love to put something else on.”
“Certainly,” Carter said, lifting Liam from her arms. Liam’s fists were clenched and angrily waving in the air.
“Here, you’ll need this.” She gave him a clean burping cloth, then handed him a binky.
Carter didn’t hesitate, giving Liam the pacifier and positioning him upright against his shoulder. Then he walked with him, his big hand cradling Liam against his chest, wearing nothing but a pair of boxer briefs. It was without a doubt one of the sexiest sights she’d ever witnessed. Her ovaries pretty much sighed.
To see a man so big and strong, so dominant, holding his infant son with such tenderness and concern for his welfare… if she’d not already had a child with him, she’d ask him here and now to knock her up.
Jenna grabbed a clean cotton nightie from her closet and headed into the bathroom. She stripped out of her soiled clothes and sponged off the dried vomit as best she could. As she did so, a bit of breast milk seeped from her boobs.
Why didn’t they tell women everything that came with having a baby? She’d been puked up on, peed on, pooped on. Her breasts leaked. She’d torn, even with the episiotomy, and had needed stitches. She was still a bit sore from the birth, which she was told was perfectly normal. Her stomach had stretch marks on it, as did her boobs. Then there was the unending period that had lasted weeks.
She wouldn’t take any of it back. Not one second of it, because that would mean taking Liam back and she’d never do that. Still, she felt like she had been constantly leaking for ten weeks. If women knew what they were getting into beforehand, their species would probably die out.
Jenna slid the white cotton babydoll nightgown on. Her milk-infused breasts were about three cup sizes larger, and spilled over the edges. It wasn’t the look she was going for but at this time of night, with only a few hours of sleep under her belt, she was too exhausted to care.
Even if the thought of Carter in nothing but his underwear made her want to fan her face. The man had to simply breathe near her and she was aroused. Nearly naked, he devastated her composure and battered her desire for restraint.
Heaven help her, it was only the first night. How was she going to survive living with him?
Squelching her naughty thoughts, she headed back into the bedroom and was brought up short. Liam was cooing up at Carter, who looked down at him with a wide grin that stole the breath from her lungs. He’d gotten Liam to calm down when she’d not been able to yet. Relief flooded her. Perhaps this really was going to work out between them.
“You two seem to be getting along,” she murmured.
Carter gave her a smile and said, “Yeah. He seems to respond to me, like he knows I’m his dad.”
The pleasure in Carter’s voice at that statement caused a fresh bout of guilt to swamp her. She’d been such a blundering ninny. Carter was correct. She’d known him—that he was honorable and a gentleman, even if he did like to flog a submissive from time to time. What Dominant didn’t? It wasn’t like she didn’t enjoy being on the receiving end of his discipline. Dominant or not, he was the best man she’d ever met. That she had convinced herself that he wouldn’t want Liam, wouldn’t take up the reins of fatherhood with much the same temperament he did everything else, would always be the biggest mistake of her life.
She had much to at
one for and made a solemn vow that she would do her best to work with him when it came to Liam.
“Here, let me take him and get him fed. A full belly will put him right back to sleep. Won’t it, my love?” she murmured as they transferred Liam into her arms. Carter’s fingers lightly and innocently grazed the exposed skin on one of her breasts. That one simple innocuous touch rocketed through her body as she sat in the rocking chair.
Carter took a seat in the leather chair beside her as she fed Liam. A flash of lust crossed his face as he stared at her chest while Liam suckled, before he schooled his features and asked, “Tell me about his birth. How long were you in labor? Did he come quickly? How much did he weigh?”
“Well, let me tell you, your son was not an easy camper. I had the absolute worst morning sickness for the first trimester and a half. Rarely was I able to eat anything before noon without barfing it right back up. And then I had to stick to things like chicken soup and crackers.”
Carter chuckled a bit. Then asked, “But it did clear up for you?”
“Yeah, it was about the end of the fourth month, I think. I became as hungry as a bear. I ate everything in sight. I would eat a full breakfast and was hungry again two to three hours later. The doctor said it was my body making up for lost time at the beginning of the pregnancy. I even added carnation instant breakfast shakes just to help supplement and appease the hunger. They aren’t kidding when they tell you that you’re eating for two. I made sure to keep it healthy, for the most part. Although I had the most wicked cravings for ice cream and peanut butter. Ate those by the bucket load.”
“Good choices, nothing too weird about that. And what about the last trimester?”
“Yeah, I was glad about them, but you can imagine I gained some bulk with those two cravings. In the last two months or so, Liam liked to move—a lot. I carried high, which meant by the time I was eight months along, my belly went out like a shelf, right beneath my chest. And he tended to kick me—my ribs, lungs, stomach, all my internal organs—like he was playing soccer. I would lie in bed and his foot would poke out so I could see the entire shape. Meghan called it the alien foot.”
“I would have liked to have seen that,” Carter said quietly, almost to himself.
Of course he would have, because he was deep in the bone a good, decent man. She offered, “I have pictures; his ultrasounds, the different stages of my baby bump—including my imitations of a beached whale. You’re welcome to look at them. I think I forgot that album in our hurry tonight and can ask Meghan to bring them when she visits this week. Although I will ask that the beached whale photos stay between us. And we can make copies of anything you would like.”
Carter hid his grin. “I’d appreciate that and will keep your secret safe with me. And the labor, was it hard?”
“In a manner of speaking. I went into labor on the evening of April twenty-eighth, at my last checkup. But because I was only a centimeter dilated, my doctor told me to wait until my water broke or the pain became too intense for me to withstand to go to the hospital. She was going to have everything prepped and on standby for my arrival, but it was a waiting game. So, I spent that night walking the floor, trying to help speed the process along, anything to try and get my water to break. Meghan was there, making me laugh and helping me through the worst of it. The following morning, we headed to the hospital and I was admitted. I was still only at four centimeters and my water hadn’t broken but the pain of the contractions was too much. I needed the drugs at that point and am not ashamed to say it. Along with the epidural, they gave me some Pitocin. It helps speed up contractions and helps the birthing process progress a bit faster.”
“It sounds like quite the ordeal. But I’m familiar with the birthing process—just in horses. I always feel so bad for my mares, usually I bed down with them in their stall for the duration of it.”
“I won’t lie, it was the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced, physically, at least. But it was worth every bit of it, tearing and all, when he arrived at five of seven the following morning.”
“Tearing? What tore?” Carter asked, his gaze running over her and Liam with concern.
She winced at her admission. That had been one little factoid she’d planned to omit, but her lack of sleep had her blurting out more than she intended. She shifted Liam from one breast to the other. “Well, your son has a rather large noggin, so even with the episiotomy I still tore a bit. He was eight pounds, two ounces, and twenty-two inches long at birth. I think they said his head was like thirteen centimeters in circumference. Women dilate ten at the most.”
“Christ, Jenna. I’d noticed you weren’t moving as fast as normal, but I had no idea.”
“Well the stitches are out but my mobility is still on the sore and tender side of things. It’s all perfectly normal, I can assure you,” she murmured, moving Liam from her breast but not before noticing Carter’s heated gaze on her boobs.
She covered herself and started to position Liam on her shoulder to burp him when Carter said, “I’d like to do that, if you don’t mind.”
“No, not at all,” she said, handing him over, and then proceeded to show him how to burp Liam. At the first tiny belch, Carter’s face said it all. He was entranced by his son. She prayed it wasn’t the newness of it.
And then Liam needed a nappy change. Carter wanted to do that as well. The diaper change took a wee bit more instruction on Jenna’s part but he was eager to learn how to properly care for their son. She couldn’t fault him in that arena one bit.
She made a trip to the bathroom and returned to find Carter rocking their son to sleep. Dammit, how was she going to keep herself away from him when he did something so innocuously sexy? Liam appeared just as taken with Carter. It warmed her heart, seeing the two of them together.
“Jenna, you’re about ready to drop. Why don’t you get into bed and I’ll get him to sleep?”
“Are you sure?” she asked, trying to hide her yawn.
“Yes. We need to get more than one nightlight in here for you. I’ll take care of it.”
“Thanks for all the help,” she murmured and climbed into bed. It should feel weird that he was in her room, that Liam wasn’t beside her in bed, but it didn’t. She watched them as her eyes started to close.
“He likes you, Carter,” she said.
“You think?” he asked with a half grin.
“Umhmm. You seem to be able to get him to settle down,” she murmured sleepily.
Carter traced a finger over Liam’s cheek, still a bit awestruck over him. She settled into bed, with the small wedge pillow from his bassinette beside her that helped with Liam’s acid reflux.
Then Carter stood with their sleeping son and moved quietly over to her bed. He handed her the tiny slumbering bundle, then startled her when he climbed in.
“What are you doing?” she whispered furiously over their son’s little body between them.
“Relax. Besides, it’s not like we haven’t slept in the same bed before. I want to sleep next to my son tonight. I have to be up in a bit anyhow, so it won’t be for long,” Carter said. And it was then that she noticed how tired he was. After how gracious and nice he’d been to her, and how loving to Liam, she didn’t have it in her to tell him to find his own bed. Nothing was going to happen between them anyway. He was right, they had slept in the same bed, enough to make the miracle now lying between them.
“Okay, you can stay. Wait, it’s three in the morning?” Jenna questioned with a large yawn.
“And living on a ranch, my day begins before dawn. Just go to sleep, Jenna. It will be all right,” Carter commanded.
With Liam nestled at her side, she allowed her eyes to close. But not before she caught the look of wonder on Carter’s face, his hand over Liam’s belly. She fell asleep with her son safely cocooned between her and Carter.
Chapter 7
At his office desk in the stables, Carter chugged his third cup of coffee while he studied the schedule to see what each ho
rse needed on the rotation. There wasn’t a break in the heat yet, nor any rain on the horizon, which meant they had to order more salt blocks and electrolytes for the finicky animals. Herb and Kyle had been up at dawn, beginning the daily rounds. Derrick Wimbly would be by later that afternoon to check on his pregnant mares.
If they didn’t get any rainwater soon, Carter would have to check their water reserve levels. He might have to divert some of the tributary crossing his land for more. They’d have to run it through the filtration system but in this heat, his herd needed hydration.
He rubbed a hand across his face when he found himself reading the same section of the schedule for the third time that morning. Between being dog-ass tired from lack of sleep, and inner turmoil over Jenna, he was having difficulty focusing on the task at hand. Although, he did have a newfound respect for Jenna and the sleep deprivation their son was putting her through. And he’d only done it one night.
Last night, he’d loved hearing about Jenna’s pregnancy with Liam. Learning that she’d fought to bring their child into the world. The way Liam gazed up at him, like there was some inner biological component that made him recognize he was his father.
Christ, he’d never thought he could love anything so much, but Liam had proven him wrong. Moving on from the schedule, he made a few calls, starting with his lawyer, Kent O’Brien.
“Are you sure you want to do this without a paternity test, Carter?”
“He’s my son. He looks just like me at that age, so much so that it’s uncanny,” Carter replied.